From s.phillips25@genie.comSat Jan 20 15:21:16 1996
Date: Thu, 18 Jan 96 01:52:00 UTC 0000
From: s.phillips25@genie.com
Reply to: b5-creative@blob.best.net
To: fn62%dial.pipex.com%inet#@genie.com
Cc: b5-creative-digest@blob.best.net
Subject: "Backhand"

Ali,
        Here's one for you:
        It's all Julie's fault, you know.


     They used me
     As bait.
     They used me
     To get to you.

     The Hand of Fire
     They called you.
     And other names more puissant
     more dangerous.

     Shadows move when you are not looking.
     How well I know that lesson.
     Shadows hid the truth
     that I refused to see.

     Freedom is a loathsome thing
     Incomprehensible to those who one, and many.
     I thought myself free...
     Foolish me.

     You took the bait, my love.
     My hope.
     You came to Z'ha'dum
     Because you could not let a shred of hope
     Die.
     And thus, you risked all.

     I realized it too late.
     Oh, John, it was too late for me..
     It was always too late for me.
     But their seeming didn't take.

     I succeeded in that.

     You came...
     And oh, how I revelled in your arms,
     Knowing it was too little, too late.
     When the Light dimmed, that's when the realization
     of what they'd planned burst like sunlight in me.

     I couldn't let that happen.
     Damn the Army of Light; damn the Shadows.
     Damn right things done for wrong reasons.
     I loved you.
     They meant to kill you.

     I'm sorry, love, for what I did.
     Sorry to have hurt you.
     Sorry to have to leave you again.
     But enough of what you loved remained
     in the tiniest corner of my mind..

     And I walked into the trap instead.