From: "procaid@hotmaiI.com ." <procaid@hotmail.com>
Subject: Babylonian Cycle, As interpreted by the Church of Forsteri
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 1999 18:32:15 PDT

Disclaimer: After reading the name Bester the sefl-Righteous, I sat 
down to right. This is stupid. It is meant to be funny, but is 
stupid. If you don't like stupid things, read it anyway, because I'm 
so desperate for attention I'll read all the flames!
This contains spoilers for the basic plot of B5, A Voice in the 
Wilderness, Babylon Squared, and Chrysalis. 
I don't own this stuff. If I did, I could have gotten the Kosh CCG 
card cheaper, or at least had more money to buy it with.
Babylonian Cycle: Season 1
	And it came to pass in the days that have not been yet but 
will have been, that a great place was built by the humans. And lo, 
it was blown into tiny bits. And lo, the humans built another place. 
And it was blown to tiny bits. And the humans did make another 
attempt to build their great place, and it was blown to bits. And 
yea, the humans, being very bored and with more money coming in then 
they knew what to do with, built another place. It yea, it was not 
blown to tiny bits. And yea, though it was a mile long, someone 
misplaced it. And the humans, being of sound body and uncertain mind, 
didst build another great place. And lo, this was not blown to tiny 
bits. Nor was it lost. Lo, this great place was dubbed Babylon 5, 
because some civil servant did not want to order new name plates 
after the first four.
	And it came to pass that a man was brought to this great 
place. And his name was Sinclair the Confused. And Sinclair was not a 
great man. Nor a strong man. Nor a man qualified to run a station, 
nor even a very smart man. But he was put in charge because nine 
people in funny cloaks liked having him around. And lo, Sinclair the 
Confused didst ask what could go wrong. And yea, it did.
	And in the days that followed, that still had not yet been 
and in fact were even farther now then they had been, that a great 
machine was found within a planet. And the machine was running on 
windows 95, and it did break. And Sinclair the Confused did go to the 
planet with Ivanova the Mad, and they did find the caretaker of the 
machine, and they did take him to the great place. And yea, when they 
were asked why they had done so by others, they didst claim he had 
followed them home. And the planet below missed its caretaker, and 
didst try to explode. And the people on Babylon 5 did not want to be 
blown up, and they did take the caretaker back with them. And the 
caretaker decided he did not like them, and died just to spite them. 
And lo, Londo the One-Liner did trick Draal the Pointy-Headed into 
the great machine to be its new caretaker. And the planet did not 
explode, although it was in a bad mood for everal months and stole 
the mail deliveries.
	And it came to pass that while flying around in a neat space 
thingy, someone did find Babylon 4. And Sinclair the Confused and 
Garibaldi the Problematic did go to investigate. And they did find 
that the station had not been misplaced, it had been stolen, er, it 
would be stolen…. Um… It was going to have been stolen… was not where 
it was supposed to be anymore because people from their will be came 
to their then, which is still our will be but is their was, and disdt 
take the station for their own nefarious purposes. And they didst 
leave Zathras the Confusing to stall the people in charge while they 
stole it again, four years after they had already stolen it. And yea, 
it disappeared again when everyone important was off and vanished 
again. 
	And it came to pass that the humans realised that Sinclair 
the Confused was acting with independent thought, and didst say that 
he should be replaced by someone more gullible. And they didst take 
him back, and send him to Minbar, where everything was made of 
crystal and loosing your balance could be lethal. And Sheridan the 
Not-Quite-Dead didst replace Sinclair the Confused, and didst bring 
with him  Bob the Invisible, to whom Sheridan would speak at length 
when there was no one else in the room but the viewers would be 
forced to sit through if they wanted to see things explode. 
And lo, the Vorlons didst look down upon their creations. And it was 
good. 

Please, for the love of god, gods, or Lorien, send Feedback! It's the 
only way I'll learn! Remember, the longer you keep me occupied with 
letters, the longer it will be before you're forced to sit through 
the interpretation of season 2.

Coming Attractions: Seasons 2-5
                    The cast of Babylon 5 in an evening of magic, fun 
for the whole family!

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