From Adele_Hutchinson@brown.edu Fri Mar 29 21:14:30 1996 Date: Tue, 26 Mar 1996 18:05:22 -0500 From: Adele Hutchinson Subject: Beauty in the Dark *SPOILERS FOR POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!!! A little story about where this comes from. Last Wednesday I came home to find my whole neighborhood sunk into a blackout. So I set myself up on the corner of my couch, surrounded myself with candles, and mounted a flashlight on my shoulder so I could get cracking on my story (longhand). Of course the page stayed blank, and I became fascinated with the candles burning around me. And this came to me. Well, some of it anyway. One phrase in particular... The episode "There All the Honor Lies" was the first episode of B5 I ever watched (yeah, a real newbie, I know). Ironically, it would have been on that night with the blackout if I lived practically anywhere else in the US, but Boston doesn't show B5 until Sunday night, so I actually wrote most of this before I saw the repeat (and then ran back to my computer to make a bunch of corrections the next morning!). Anyway, I think it's kind of fitting to refer to that episode in my first story, although I didn't plan to write it that way. It just sort of happened. Thank you Ali for taking a look before I posted it... too chicken to post it sight unseen! And you are the expert on this topic, right? :-) This scene takes place the night after the last scene in Point of No Return. I'd appreciate any feedback. I hope y'all enjoy this... I actually enjoyed writing it down. Adele --------------------------------------------------------------------- Beauty in the Dark by Adele Hutchinson Sheridan walked quickly down the corridor. It was already 2200 hours, not really that late, but she might have been tired from her trip from Minbar and have gone to bed already. He had wanted to talk to her earlier that day, when Susan told him she had returned, but things had gotten a little out of hand with the newly imposed martial law and the enforcement of that law by the Narn reinforcement security officers. He chuckled to himself at Londo Mollari's outrage over that development, but the humor slipped away when he remembered the two and half hours he'd spent convincing Londo that he'd better get used to the new security forces. Sheridan forced himself not to dwell on that thought; he'd have to face that problem when it came. He approached the security checkpoint outside of the ambassadorial wing in the green sector, glad to see two human guards manning the post. That might save him from another three hours of listening to Londo rant about the insult of having Narn guards assigned to protect his safety. The two guards greeted him jovially and waved him through. Business was slow this time of night with martial law under effect. He stood at Delenn's door for a moment, torn. What if she was asleep? He really wanted to talk to her, but he didn't want to impose.... Finally he decided to ring once and see if she responded. He heard a muffled response behind the door, and the door slid open revealing a dark interior. he thought as he stepped through the door. "I'm sorry to intrude, Delenn-- Wow!" Inside, the interior was lit softly by dozens of candles, their dancing flames reflected by the glass chimes and crystal sculptures decorating her living area. A faint scent of wildflowers and pine drifted in the air. Sheridan stood in the doorway gawking for a moment before he remembered to move inside. He heard the door hiss shut behind him. "John, you are *not* intruding. Actually, I had just finished my meditations. I was hoping we would have a chance to talk tonight." She stood up from her seat on the couch and approached him. The candlelight danced in her green eyes, giving her an even more exotic look. "I was just about to make some tea. Would you like some?" "I'd love some tea" he responded as he took a seat on the couch. She retreated into the kitchenette. "How was your trip to Minbar?" "Apparently not nearly as eventful as if I had stayed on the station, from what Commander Ivanova tells me" Delenn answered as she removed a tea pot from a cabinet and filled it with hot water. "You've got that right" he answered, laughing without humor. "I'm thinking Hell would be a nice vacation spot at this point." "I believe you handled the problems as well as you could hope to in that situation. You have the station back under your control, and the Nightwatch personnel are under house arrest." "Yeah, but it's only a temporary solution at best. Once Clark finds out what we did and reissues the order, we'll be right back where we started from, only now they'll be coming for us." he answered. "Damnit! I hate feeling so helpless!" "But you've managed to, what is the expression-- 'buy some time'. You must have faith that having done your part, the rest of the universe will do its part." she said, returning with two cups of tea. She handed one to Sheridan. "Thank you" He took a cautious sip, letting the hot tea slide down his throat. "Just what I needed" he said as he sank back into the couch. Delenn sat down next to him. "Why don't I turn the lights on so we can talk." "No, don't. I like the candle light" he said, turning to face her. "It's beautiful and peaceful" he added. An image flashed in his mind of lights and shadows swirling around him in time with an echo of eerie chanted music. "Beauty in the dark..." he said aloud. Delenn angled her head slightly to one side and touched his shoulder tentatively. "John, what is it?" "What?" He hadn't realized he had voiced the thought aloud. "Oh, I was remembering one of my earlier lessons with Kosh, about the time of the incident with Levell's death. Funny how desperate the situation seemed then. It *was* desperate, but after all that's happened since...." He shook his head, not wanting to dwell on the incident. "I remember telling Kosh that I didn't think now was a good time for a lesson, but nothing I could say would convince him." He sighed. "Anyway, he took me down to the furthest reaches of Downbelow, where even the Lurkers won't go, to an access panel and said 'One moment of perfect beauty.'" Sheridan laughed softly at the memory. "I thought he was nuts, but what was I supposed to do? So I went inside. The room, if you could call it that-- it was more like a crawl space-- was littered with construction trash. There was a figure sitting near the corner of the room. I sat across from him, not sure of what to say or do. He slid a bowl in front of me, and I realized he wanted an offering. I didn't have any currency on me, just my credit chit, so instead I took my staff bar off my uniform and put it in the bowl. Then out of nowhere... I heard music, like a chant. The light seemed to dance. It was... I don't know how to describe it... beauty in the dark...." He smiled at the memory and took another sip of tea, but a thought nagged him at the back of his mind just out of reach. He placed his mug on the coffee table in front of him and sat staring absently at the candles arranged on the table. He turned towards Delenn with a start, grasping both her hands with a gentle squeeze. "Of course! I wonder if that's what he meant!" Delenn furrowed her brow in confusion. "What is?" "All around me everything I believe in is going straight to hell. And I'm doing everything in my power to keep myself from going down with it, but it is getting harder every day. I feel the darkness closing in, and it scares me, more than anything in my life has scared me. But despite the darkness, despite my fear, part of me feels happy. Not because of the war." He paused, uncertain how to continue. He looked down at his hands, softly clenching hers. He traced his thumbs gently over her knuckles, and shifted his glance back to her eyes. "When you were gone this week, when Nightwatch tried to take over the station, all I could think of was how much I missed you, how much I wanted you to be here to help me." "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you John. I came back as soon as I heard what had happened." She cast her eyes downward. He released one of her hands and tipped her chin up until her eyes met his. "That's not what I mean. I mean I'm glad you're back, but..." He shook his head, trying to find the words to express what he felt. "When Susan told me you had returned, I felt a surge of selfish happiness, even while the rest of my world was crashing down around me. I even felt guilty for allowing myself to feel happy, but I shouldn't should I? That's what Kosh was trying to show me with 'One moment of perfect beauty', isn't it? "That is the way of the universe. Nothing is composed only of light or darkness; usually elements of both are submerged just beneath the surface. There is goodness even in the darkest of situations, though it may be hard to find." She smiled at him and gave his hand a brief squeeze. Sheridan sat, entranced by her smile for a moment. He grinned as another memory returned. "I once told Susan I thought you had a special relationship with the universe." Delenn raised a brow. "Oh? And what did she say in return?" "I think she said 'Don't we all?'" He answered, laughing. His laughter was cut short by a mechanical beep. He was about to curse his link when he realized it was not his link that had chimed, but hers. "You should answer that" he said, releasing her hand. She pressed a button on her console and Lennier's image appeared. "Yes, Lennier?" she answered with a barely detectable trace of impatience. "I'm sorry to disturb your meditation, Ambassador, but a transmission from Minbar is coming through." Lennier looked a little nervous to Sheridan, but he wasn't certain. "Thank you Lennier. I'll take it up here." she said, cutting the channel with a keystroke. "I'm sorry, John. If you want to stay and talk more when I am finished..." "No, I really should go to my quarters and at least *try* to get a good night's sleep." He rose from his seat on the couch. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow morning at the War Council meeting. G'Kar has an interesting proposition I think we should all discuss." He reached out to hold her hand again. "Thank you for the tea and for listening to me babble. I'm glad you're back." "It is good to be back where I belong. " Releasing his hand, she bowed, then placed one hand over her heart and the other over his. "Until tomorrow morning then." He stepped over the doorstep and glanced back over his shoulder . Her smile glimmered faintly in the glow of the candlelight as the door shut between them. ----------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adele Hutchinson / "We are starstuff; we are the universe made Aphasia Research Center / manifest, trying to figure itself out. As we Brown University / have both learned, sometimes the universe Boston V.A. Medical Center / requires a change of perspecitve." -Delenn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------