From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 1 Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 02:36:08 -0700 Hi all, I've never posted to this list, but Bea convinced me that I should send this piece. There is no smut in this piece, but some parts have a kleenex alert. You've been warned. :)= I want to thank Bea and Deja for all their comments and support. And thanks to Isis for convincing me to write it in the first place. :) Comments are most definitely appreciated (send them to sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). Miki ***************** Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all the characters (with the exception of Tasha and Dmitri) belong to JMS. I'm just borrowing them for a while. Blessings, Part 1 "Mommy, will you tell me a story?" asked a very young voice. "Do you promise you'll go to sleep afterwards?" Susan Ivanova entered her children's room and sat on the chair between the beds. "Uhmhmm." "All right, Tashenka. What story would you like to hear?" "The one about how you and my daddy got married. It's my favouritest one in the whole universe." "Oh, gross. You always wanna hear the sappy ones," said Dmitri. Susan shook her head and laughed. "It's Tashenka's turn to pick the story, Dmitri. You picked last night." "Aw! Why don't you tell us the one about how you and dad single-handedly saved the station? That one's got lots of excitement." "Daddy will be back tomorrow night, remember? Then he can take over telling bedtime stories again." Tasha squealed happily. She climbed into Susan's lap and cuddled up in her protective embrace. "Is he bringing new stories with him?" she asked excitedly. "Yes, sweetheart. He'll probably have one with lots of daring and danger in it. More your speed, son. Tonight I'm going to tell about how your father and I came to know each other better and ended up getting married. You wouldn't be here today if we hadn't, you know." "Oh, all right. But don't leave out the exciting part with the guns and fighting and stuff," said Dmitri, lying back with a sigh. "I won't leave out the excitement." Susan, still cradling her sleepy daughter in her arms, slowly rocked the chair back and forth. It still amazed her that these two wonderful, loving children were hers. "In 2260 the war with the Shadows was coming to a head. We found out that the Vorlons had been using us and weren't really on our side at all. And as soon as we weren't of any use to them, they abandoned us. They even started to destroy members of the League because they had been touched by the Shadows..." Susan Ivanova stood in C&C looking out the port at the Jump Gate. No matter how often she looked at it, it never seemed any less amazing to her. She had neither moved nor said anything in a good 45 minutes when Zack Allen walked up beside her. "Excuse me, Commander. Could you spare a second?" "Oh, yes, of course. What can I do for you?" "Actually, I hoped for a minute alone." "Let's go into the office." Susan followed Zack into the Command Office and sat at the desk, gesturing for him to do the same. "So, what can I do for you?" "Commander, I wanted to apologise for being so short with you the other day. You have every reason to be worried about the Chief. I was out of line." "It's okay, Zack. I'm just worried about him. Can't help it." "That's actually why I'm here," he said, hesitating before continuing. "Sir, he's been acting kind of weird, if you take my meaning." "What's your definition of weird?" "Have you tried to hold a casual conversation with him? It's almost like he can't decide whether to take your head off or accept what you're saying. This morning a couple of us were joking around and he came completely unglued. Said that jokes didn't have any place in his command and that we should reserve our senses of humour for off-duty hours. He also has a really deeply seated dislike for the Captain's friend, Lorien. He's gone so far as to monitor Lorien's every move, every communication. If he twitches, the Chief knows. And he's been keeping tabs on the Captain too. Said that there's something that isn't right about him. I think he thinks that the Captain is a Shadow operative just like..." "Anna. Thank you for coming to me. It couldn't have been easy for you." "I miss the old Chief. It just isn't the same around here, you know?" "I know. I miss him too." "Thanks, Commander. I'll let you know if I notice any other... uhm... weird things he's doing." With that Zack got up and left the office. Susan activated her Wrist Link. "Ivanova to C&C." "C&C online, commander." "Corwin, I want you to find Marcus Cole and have him meet me here ASAP. I'll be in here for a while." "Aye, sir." "Ivanova out." She turned off her link and sighed. This was definitely not a good day. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 2 Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 02:36:27 -0700 Here's part 2. See part 1 for disclaimer. Miki PS--Comments are most appreciated (sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). :) **************** Blessings, Part 2 Susan did not hear Marcus walk in. Nor did she notice him standing behind her. Very carefully he covered her eyes and whispered, "Guess who?" "Don Juan," she replied sarcastically. "Nope, guess again." "A walking corpse if he doesn't get his hands out of my face." "Hey, I was just trying to lighten your mood." "It's been a bad day. And I only have one trampled nerve left." "Corwin said that you wanted to see me." Marcus walked around the desk and settled into one of the chairs. Susan nodded and looked at him. "I know you don't know Garibaldi too well, but he... well, he hasn't been himself since he's come back." "So I've heard. Do you think this has something to do with his disappearance?" "Yes... no... I don't know. What I do know is that something is wrong with him. When he went missing, you and G'Kar went out to find him. Is there anything you turned up that you didn't include in your report to Delenn? I don't care how insignificant it seems. It could be important." "I can't think of anything. While I was in training on Minbar, I learned that there is no such thing as an insignificant detail." "I was afraid you'd say that." "Give me until... 1900 hours to do some checking. I'll see if I can turn up some leads. I can meet you at your place with dinner." "And if you don't find anything?" "Then it'll be a nice dinner with a friend." "All right," said Susan. "We'll figure this out, Commander. I promise." <2269 in a child's bedroom> "Mommy, when are you going to get to the part about how Daddy asked you to marry him? I like that part." "Be patient, sweetheart. We're getting there." "What about the part where I'm born?" asked Dmitri. "Don't worry, Mitya, I won't leave it out." "And me, too, mamma? I wanna hear about how I was born too." "I won't forget, Lapochek." Dmitri sat up and reached for Susan. "Can I sit in your lap too?" "You're getting awfully big, don't you think?" Susan asked in a gentle voice. "Tasha gets to. I miss sitting in your lap." "Okay, you two. Out to the livingroom." Susan took the children by their hands and walked out to the couch with them. She sat in the middle with a child on either side of her, cuddled against her. "Now will you tell about daddy?" asked Tasha. "Okay. Where was I? That evening..." Susan had returned to her quarters after her shift. With the exception of several candles around the living area her quarters were dark. She lit another candle on the table in front of her and watched the flame scintillate in the darkness. "N'vareykh et ma'yan hayeynu sheheheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh," she whispered softly. (Translation: "Let us bless the flow of life that revives us, sustains us, and brings us to this time.") She was completely incognisant of how long she had been staring into the muted light when the door chime sounded. "Come." Marcus walked in carrying an assortment of boxes and a folder. "Am I interrupting?" "No, no. Come in, please. Lights." Susan got up and helped Marcus set everything down, then set the table as Marcus served them each a plate of pastichio, rice and salad. They began eating. "This is lovely, Marcus. Thank you." He smiled. "You're welcome." "Tell me what you've found." "At first I found nothing. But then I did some really deep digging. With a little help from my favourite two-by-four, I learnt that the man who sold G'Kar the information about Garibaldi's ship works for an operation that does a lot of business with the Psi Corps. One of our operatives on Mars has some connections within the Corps. She's snooping around for us and will let us know what she turns up. She's heard an unconfirmed rumour that he was delivered in one of those battle crabs." "Bozhe moi," she said under her breath. "I don't know what to think. All I know is that he was under their care, and somehow, miraculously, he ended up back here. Why would they eject one single life pod with our Mr. Garibaldi aboard and then destroy the ship? It makes no sense." Before either of them could continue, Susan's link went off. She raised her hand and activated the unit. "Ivanova, go." "Commander, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," said Sheridan's apologetic voice. "No, sir." "I need you in my office now. We may have a little security problem. If you happen to see Marcus on your way, bring him with you." "He's here with me. We're on our way." Twenty minutes later, Susan and Marcus arrived at Sheridan's office. Delenn and two rangers Susan recognised sat on the couch across from Sheridan. "What's going on?" asked Susan as she sat down. "I know that you and Marcus have been looking into Garibaldi's disappearance. So have we. Randal and Hansen have some sources who have confirmed that Garibaldi was taken to a small base on Ganymede by a Shadow vessel where he was delivered into the care of the Psi Corps." "You're sure about this?" Susan asked. She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. "Our sources are reliable, Commander," said Randal. "I'm sure that Marcus can confirm our findings." "My contact should be sending her report within the next 24 standard hours. My guess is that we'll have pretty similar findings." "That's just great." Sheridan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Marcus, I want you to get a couple of our best men to keep an eye on him. If he so much as makes a suspicious gesture, I want to know about it. Susan, have you noticed any odd behaviour from him lately?" "Apart from being a little stressed out, I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary. But I heard from Zack Allen today. He said that the Chief went non-linear when a couple of his men tried to introduce a little levity to a tense situation." "Well, under the circumstances, that could be a problem." "What are you implying, John? That Garibaldi's gone to the other side?" Susan asked in an incredulous tone. "It's a possibility that we have to face, Susan," Sheridan said. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. We don't know what he went through at the hands of the PsiCorps. He's been a loyal member of this crew since I've been here. I've never had a reason to question him. And I won't start now unless he personally gives me cause to do so." She threw Sheridan a very harsh look. "I'm not asking you to question his loyalty. I am asking you not to rule out any possibilities no matter how unlikely they seem," Sheridan said, meeting her gaze. "May I offer a suggestion?" asked Delenn, speaking up for the first time. All eyes turned to her. "Spend some time with him, Susan. You know him better than anyone here. You would know if there is something amiss." Sheridan nodded assent. "She's right." "I know, dammit. But, for the record, I want you to know that I'm not doing this because you think he's a plant. I'm doing this because he's my friend and I don't want him to get hurt." With that, Susan got up and left the others staring after her. The next day after her shift, Susan found herself standing in front of Garibaldi's quarters. "What the hell am I doing here?" she muttered under her breath. Before she could change her mind, she stabbed the buzzer. A moment later, the door slid open and Garibaldi, in an apron and chef's hat, motioned for her to come in. "Hiya, Sus. What brings you here?" "That smell. You can smell it all the way down the hall." She smiled warmly. "Actually, I was bored and, instead of sitting in my quarters doing nothing, I thought I'd come see if you were busy." "Have you eaten?" "Not yet." "Well then, Commander, you've come to the right place. At Chez Garibaldi we serve only the best." "Thanks, Michael." "Dinner'll be on the table in a minute. Hope you like Fettuccine Alfredo Florentine." Garibaldi puttered around the kitchen until he had the table set for two and a gourmet dinner in front of them that put the best restaurants on the station to shame. As he sat across from her, he looked at her sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind, but all I have in the way of drinks is grape juice." "Sounds fine to me." "Well then, let's eat." Dinner passed in relative silence. When they did talk, their discussions focused mainly on how busy they were. Once the table was cleared, Garibaldi prepared them each a cup of caff and they adjourned to the couch. "Wanna watch a couple of the newer episodes of Duck Dodgers I managed to lay hands on?" "Okay. But I'm warning you. If Marvin Martian puts in an appearance in my dreams tonight, I won't be responsible for the status of your shower preferences in the near future." Garibaldi set up the viewer and sat back down next to her. "If my shower preferences are changed, I won't be responsible for the status of your wake up call." He grinned at her. "We sound like a couple of spoiled kids." Susan leaned against him. "I missed you, Michael. I'm glad you came back." Her mind kept replaying the discussion in Sheridan's quarters the day before. She was still upset that Sheridan was so ready to turn an accusing finger on his Chief of Security. Absolutely nothing Garibaldi had said or done seemed even remotely out of character to her. "Hey, you still with me?" Garibaldi asked, sensing her sudden lapse into thought. She nodded. "Yeah. I was just thinking how long it's been since I relaxed." "If you had to think that hard, it's been too long." Garibaldi put a cautious arm around her shoulders. "Want another cup of caff?" "No thanks. I don't want to be up all night." She pulled her legs up under her and rested against him. "I'm starting to see why you like this little duck. He's got a very calming effect." "Yeah." Garibaldi laughed. "You should have seen Delenn when I introduced her to the show and popcorn." "You didn't!" she said as she turned to look at him. "You did! I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall that day." "It was quite an experience, I'll say that much." "I'll just bet." They watched the rest of the episode in silence, each enjoying the other's company. When the vid ended, Susan stretched. "What time is it?" "You don't want to know." She playfully smacked his shoulder. "Okay, okay. It's 23:47. And it's time for all good little commanders and security chiefs to be in bed." They both stood up and walked toward the door. "I had a nice time, Michael. Thanks." He smiled at her. "Yeah, me too. Why don't we do it again? Say tomorrow night?" "If you're cooking, I'll be here." "I'm cooking. Thanks again for coming by." A moment of awkward silence passed between them. Susan then found herself being pulled into Garibaldi's arms. He hugged her hard. She returned his hug and closed her eyes. When he released her, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and smiled. "See you tomorrow, Susan." "Okay." She waved as she walked out of his quarters. The next morning, her wake up call jarred her out of bed. She threw her pillow at the light. "The time is 0530. You have the following messages... message one from Michael Garibaldi... message two from Captain John Sheridan. You have the following appointments... meeting with League of Non-Aligned Worlds at 1300 hours... meeting with Marcus Cole..." Susan groaned. "Oh shut up. It's too damned early to be awake let alone thinking about messages and meetings." She sat up with a sigh. "Play messages." Garibaldi's smiling face came up on the Comm unit. "Morning, sunshine. I know you hate this time of day, but thought you might want to join me for breakfast. I really enjoyed last night. It's the first time I've felt like myself since I got back. Give me a buzz when you get up." Then Sheridan appeared on the screen looking far less jovial. "I thought I'd call and find out how things went last night. I know how hard this has been for you, Susan. And I know that I haven't told you nearly often enough how valuable your help has been over the years. Please come see me in my office before your shift starts." "What the hell is wrong with all these bright-eyed, bushy-tailed morning people? How can anyone sound so happy at this time of day?" She got out of bed, showered and dressed. After she styled her hair, she went to the comm unit and called Garibaldi. "Susan! Morning. I made some fresh, real coffee and some cinnamon rolls. Wanna come over?" "I'll be there in five minutes. Meet me at the door with a cup of coffee and I might actually smile." "I'd pay money to see that." "Watch it, mister. You don't want to push my buttons this early in the day." "Okay! Okay!" he said, his hands raised in a gesture of submission. "Breakfast is waiting." "I'm on my way." Susan cut the connection, took one more look in the mirror and headed out the door. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 3 Date: Fri, 21 Mar 1997 14:22:18 -0700 Here's part 3. See part 1 for the disclaimer. All comments welcomed and appreciated (send them to sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). Regards, Miki ********** Blessings, part 3 Much to Sheridan's eternal surprise, Susan walked into his office 20 minutes before her shift started with a smile on her face. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Do my eyes deceive me? Is that a smile on your face?" he asked in mock horror. "Now I know the universe has gone to Hell!" "I'd say something snide but I'm in too good a mood. What did you want to see me about?" "I wanted to get your feelings on Garibaldi." Susan sat and looked contemplatively at Sheridan. "I don't know. He seemed fine to me. We joked around, teased each other. He even threatened to reprogram my alarm. Admittedly, I was a little surprised by his breakfast invitation. But that's hardly a felony offense." "What do you think?" "Look, John, I think that Michael's been under a lot of stress. Every time he turns around there's someone asking if he's okay or what he remembers. You, on the other hand, come back and get a hero's welcome without a single question as to how you came to be here. I'm not belittling your experience or saying that you didn't go through a lot yourself. I'm just asking you to put yourself in his shoes." Susan got up and walked to the bookshelf. She touched the piece of the Black Star that she had given him for Christmas the year before. "He's acting out of fear and uncertainty. I can't imagine what he's going through. But I'm going to support him and be there for him." "I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, Susan. All I ask is that you let me know if he does something that you find suspicious." Susan and headed for the door. "Will do. I'll see you on the deck." "I'll be there in a few. I need to finish going over the oxygen consumption logs." "Mom? Do you still have the Duck Dodgers vids?" Dmitri asked. "Uhmhmm. On my next day off we can watch them if you'd like." "Can I watch too, mommy?" asked Tasha. "Of course you may. Are you tired?" "No. Wanna hear the rest of the story," stated Tasha. "Can I sit on your lap now?" Dmitri asked. Susan pulled her son into her lap and cradled him gently. Tasha rested her cheek on her mom's shoulder and started sucking her thumb. "About two weeks later, John called me into his office... "You wanted to see me?" Susan asked as she walked into Sheridan's office. She sat in one of the chairs across the desk from him. "Yeah. Have you talked to Marcus lately?" "No, why?" "He's convinced that Garibaldi is as clean as you say he is. You've had dinner with him every day for over two weeks. Has he given you any recent indications that he's still stressed from his trauma?" "No. None at all." "Have you noticed any changes in him at all?" "I think he takes life a little more seriously. But I think that's just a result of the entire experience." "Has he remembered any of what happened to him?" "No. Not that I know of. He's been very open with me. I don't get the feeling that he's hiding anything." "Any more unusual behaviour?" "I haven't noticed any. But as you and Marcus are so fond of pointing out, I am pretty close to the source." "Well, just to be safe... as a friend... keep an eye out for him. And if things change..." "I know. Let you know what's happening." Susan stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." "Night." In her quarters, Susan sat on the couch contemplating the events of the last several weeks. She stared into the semi-darkness as she reflected fondly on the time she spent with Garibaldi. The door chime interrupted her reverie, pulling her back to reality. "Come." "Hi," said Garibaldi as he walked in. "You up for dinner?" "Oh, sure. What did you have in mind?" "You okay, Susan? Do you want some time alone?" She patted the couch next to her and waited for him to sit. "No, no. I'm fine. Really. It's just been kind of a long day. What did you have in mind for dinner?" "If you're not up to it, it's okay." "Really, Mike, I'm fine." "Mike?" He scrunched up his nose. "Mike?" "Well, you've been calling me Sus. I figured that it's only fair." She punched his arm playfully. "It's better than Mikey," he conceded. His face turned more serious. "I came to see if you wanted to have dinner at Fresh Air, but maybe dinner in would be a better idea." "Give me five minutes to change and we'll go out." Susan walked into her bedroom closet and fished around in her wardrobe for just the right outfit. She wanted to be Susan Ivanova, woman, not Susan Ivanova, commander of Babylon 5. She put on a knee-length, form-fitting blue dress that accentuated her figure in all the right places. She gathered her hair in a loose braid and put on some lipstick. A pair of 2 inch black pumps completed the outfit. With one last look in the mirror, Susan headed out to the livingroom. "You ready?" she asked, smiling sweetly at Garibaldi. Garibaldi had his eyes glued to her and his jaw on the floor. "I... you... wow!" "You okay?" "Susan, you look incredible! I..." "Let's go?" she asked. Garibaldi offered her his elbow, which she took. They then headed out the door. After a lovely dinner at Fresh Air, Susan and Garibaldi walked arm in arm through the gardens. She felt completely relaxed and let herself forget about the war and all her responsibilities for a while. "You know, I took all this for granted," he said, gesturing at the garden as they strolled slowly down the path. "Sure, I came here before... well you know. But now, it's like I'm seeing everything for the first time." He guided them to a bench and gestured for her to sit with him. She let him put his arm around her shoulders. "Sometimes we don't know what we have until we've almost lost it." "I know. I feel that way about so many things. Including you." Garibaldi let his hand fall to the small of her back and turned to face her. He took a deep breath let it out slowly. "I won't even pretend that I'm very good at this sort of thing. We've known each other for a long time. And we've been friends through it all... good times, bad times, happy times, sad times. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me. But you've always been there for me when I've needed you." "You've been there for me too, Michael. I..." He silenced her with a gentle finger across her lips. "When I came back, my life was in chaos. I was angry because I couldn't remember anything. And I was angry because I couldn't make anyone believe that I was okay. Then you showed up at my door just when I thought I was going to lose it. That first night we had dinner together, I realised I had been denying what I really felt these last couple of years. I can't keep it inside anymore, Susan." He took her hands in his. "I love you." Susan looked into his eyes and, seeing that he spoke truthfully, she smiled. "I love you too." Garibaldi slowly closed the distance between them and kissed her tentatively. "Aw, mom! Why do you have to tell the mushy stuff?" complained Dmitri. He wrinkled his nose up in disgust. Susan stifled the urge to laugh. "I thought you wanted to hear about when you were born." He nodded. "Yeah, but can you leave out the mushy part?" "The mushy stuff is part of the story too, sweetheart." "Yeah, 'mitri," said Tasha. "I'll leave out the mushy stuff for your part of the story, okay?" "Thanks, mom," he said, relief plainly written across his face. "Everything started to get crazy..." Something was wrong. Even in sleep Susan was able to sense that there was something amiss. Cautiously she opened her eyes to see Garibaldi propped up looking down at her. She smiled at him and snuggled against him. "Morning," he said quietly. "Your shift starts in an hour. I killed your alarm so you could sleep a little longer." "Thanks. Tell me again why I'm going to work." Garibaldi chuckled. "I've been telling you every morning for the last week. We're fighting for Freedom and Light and to protect the universe against the oppression of the Shadows and Vorlons. Remember?" He held her for a while and let her presence wash over him. "I don't suppose I could convince you to let me sleep for a little longer?" She looked at him and gauged his expression. "I didn't think so. You've been hard on me all week... making me get up and all." "I only do it 'cause I love you. Go grab a shower and get ready. I'll have breakfast on the table when you get out." "What I'd rather do is go back to sleep. But you're right." She sighed. Susan wrapped the blanket around herself as she reluctantly got out of bed. "Is this where the dangerous, exciting stuff happens, mom?" asked Dmitri. "Yes, it is. But a lot of sad things happened too, Mitya. We can't forget the brave people who sacrificed their lives to defend our home. That's why we take the time every year to remember them." "Kaddish, mamma," said Tasha. "That's right, sweetheart. Kaddish," she whispered sadly. "A couple of unusually quiet weeks had passed. Sheridan started making us run drills so that we'd be prepared when things heated up. We had been evacuating refugees to Epsilon 3..." To those who worked in C&C the sight of the White Star class vessels outside the port was nothing unusual. The ships hung majestically, glimmering softly in the seemingly endless void of space. A constant barrage of shuttles flying to and from Epsilon 3 interrupted the silent serenity of the scene outside. The jumpgate activated and a single shuttle sped toward the station. "Belle Star to Babylon Control. Please respond." The accented voice of Marcus Cole came through the sound system in C&C. "C&C on line, Belle Star. You are cleared for immediate docking. Please proceed to bay 8," instructed Corwin. "Lieutenant, is Commander Ivanova there?" "I'm here, Marcus. What can I do for you?" "Call the council together for an emergency session. We're about to have some guests come knocking on our door and if we don't watch ourselves, they're going to pound it down while they're at it." "We'll meet you in the war room." "See you on deck. Belle Star out." "You heard the man, Lieutenant. Get on the link and call together the council. I want them in the war room five minutes ago." "Aye sir." From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 4 Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 11:54:24 -0700 Hi all, Sorry this is so long in coming. Work sort of bogged me down. Thanks again to Bea and Deja for betaing. :) All comments are greatly appreciated and can be sent to sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com. Thanks, Miki ************ Blessings Part 4 Susan was the last to arrive in the war room. She sat down with Delenn, Sheridan and Garibaldi who were in a close huddle with Marcus conversing in hushed whispers. Sheridan stood in his usual place. "Why don't you tell us what's going on, Marcus?" "As I was returning from my patrol, I noticed an unusual amount of activity in hyper space. The Centauri are bailing out of their corner of the universe and there's a contingent of Vorlons hot on their trail. The Vorlons have started attacking the Centauri worlds. What's odd is they've refrained from using their planet killers. The Shadows on Centauri Prime have made no move to help their hosts fight or flee. One thing is for certain though, several of the Centauri vessels are heading this way." "Aw, Hell!" exclaimed Garibaldi. "Delenn, how soon can the White Star Fleet be here?" asked Sheridan. "One standard hour. I will send for them immediately." "Great. Susan, call the League together. We need to inform them of the situation. We'll also need to have a designated commander from each fleet report to C&C to coordinate our efforts. In the meantime, I need every available shuttle and freighter, anything that isn't outfitted with a weapons array, to start transporting civilians to Epsilon 3." "Sir, I have an extra security contingent standing by to start speeding up the evacuation effort," said Garibaldi. "Thank you, Mr. Garibaldi. The faster we get everyone non-essential off the station, the better. Now, if there are no further questions, I suggest we get started. Time is not on our side. Commander, I need you to make an announcement instructing people to proceed in an orderly fashion to their designated ports of departure. Lt. Corwin, if you'd be so kind as to scramble all fighter squadrons. I want to be ready to launch on a second's notice." "Aye sir," said the young lieutenant. "If there's nothing else?" Sheridan looked around the room. "Snap to, people. We can't afford any mistakes." "Alright! We're finally at the exciting stuff! Are you going to tell the part about the big battle, mom?" Dmitri asked excitedly. "I'll try. A lot happened all at once. I'm not quite there, though." "Mommy, is it my turn to sit on your lap? 'Mitri got to for a long time," Tasha asked in a small voice. "Do you mind, Mitya? You're getting kind of heavy." Susan shifted his weigh slightly. "Oh, I suppose. But I want another turn later." Dmitri slipped out of his mother's lap and cuddled in next to her. Tasha quickly climbed into Susan's lap. "Are you ready?" At their nods, Susan continued the story. "About three hours passed. The meeting with the League had gone well, all things considered..." Three hours later Susan watched the activity from C&C. There were hundreds of ships gathered around the station. It was amazing to see the different designs. What was functional for one race, was purely ornamental for another. And the shapes were as varied as the races that built them. Sheridan walked onto the deck just as a volley of shuttles launched for Epsilon 3. "Commander, could I see you for a moment?" Susan followed him into his office. "What's up?" "I know you're a competent pilot. But..." "You want me to sit this one out, don't you?" "Yes. I need you here for this one. I'm sorry," he said. "I understand." She shrugged. "But next time, I won't let you bench me. Am I making myself clear?" "Yes, sir," he said, snapping her a mock salute. A somewhat perplexed and relieved Sheridan watched Susan return to her station. It was not like her to let something like this go. He followed her a few moments later. "Is everything alright?" he asked in a low voice. "The evacuation is going according to schedule. No riots or snags. Everything's fine." No sooner than Susan had the words out of her mouth than she turned green and then ghost white. She clutched at her console to keep her feet. "Are you alright, commander?" Sheridan asked in a concerned voice. "It's nothing. I'm fine." "No, you're not. You should go to MedLab." "Really, I'll be fine, sir." "You don't look fine, commander. Come on," he said, indicating that she should follow. His tone of voice left little room for argument. On his way past Corwin's station he stopped. "Lieutenant, we'll be in the command office. You're in charge. If anything so much as twitches without authorisation, you call me." "Aye, sir!" He looked on as Sheridan escorted Susan to the command office. Once he had her sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands, he sat across from her. "You look like Hell, Susan. Why don't you go to MedLab. Maybe Steven can give you something for the pain." "It's more nausea than pain. And I've already seen Steven. He said that this is normal..." "Normal? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never seen you do that before. So in my book, it isn't normal." "You didn't let me finish. He said that it's normal for a woman in my condition. John, I didn't want to say anything until I was sure and then I wanted Michael to know first. I'm carrying his baby. I'm about 3 weeks into my first trimester." Susan looked down at the steaming cup of tea in her hands. "He doesn't know yet, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything." "Now I understand why you didn't argue with me. I had expected a big fight." She laughed. "I'm sure. You just saved me having to find a way to tell you that I couldn't go out." "Are you happy about this pregnancy?" Sheridan asked gently. "When I went to MedLab this morning, I was terrified that the test would come back positive. I spent the entire morning in thinking about the consequences of bringing a child into this world... this situation," she said, gesturing at her surroundings. "At first I kicked myself because I didn't run straight to MedLab to get a contraceptive booster when the relationship turned serious. Then I got nervous because I realised that now, instead of just worrying about Michael's safety, I'd have to worry about the baby too." "But...?" Susan took a deep breath. "When I imagined what life would be like with Michael and our child... teaching him... learning from him... watching him grow up... I realised that I wanted this baby more than I've wanted anything in a long time. Yes, I'm happy." "God knows you deserve a little happiness in your life. When are you going to tell Michael?" "I had planned on doing it at dinner tonight. But the way things are going... who knows when our next meal together will be?" "Why don't you go find him now? Corwin and I can handle C&C until you get back." Susan found Garibaldi looking on as a very orderly mob made its way towards the launch bays. She gently rubbed her stomach, wondering how he would react. A case of butterflies threatened to become another fit of nausea, but through iron will, she conquered her nerves. "Hi, Mike," she said in a soft voice. He turned to face her with a smile. "Hey, lady. What're you doing here? I thought you'd be on your way to your ship by now." "I'm grounded. Can I talk to you for a minute?" "Why the hell are you grounded?" he asked as she led him to the gardens. "John thought it would be best for me to stay. All he said was that he needed me here. But there's an even more important reason why I should be grounded. And that's why I want to talk to you." Susan pulled him to sit on the same bench where he had first declared his love for her. "You okay, Sus? You're acting kind of funny." "I'm fine. A little green around the gills for the moment, but fine." "Have you seen Steven?" Garibaldi's eyes shone with love and concern. "Yes. He said that I'm fine." She took his hands in hers and traced patterns on his palms. "I was going to tell you at dinner. But who knows when our next meal together will be." "Susan? Tell me what?" "I'm pregnant," she said softly. She had no idea how he would react. But she certainly did not expect what came next. "You mean you're... I'm gonna be... We... Holy... Susan... you..." Giving up on coherent speech, he let out a triumphant whoop and pulled her into his arms. Relief flooded her as she hugged him back. "When?" "If all goes well, just over eight months." "I can't wait to tell my mom! I can't wait to tell Zack. I can't wait to tell Steven... never mind, he already knows. I'm going to be a daddy!" He pulled back to smile at her and noticed her tears. "Hey, why the tears, love?" "I thought..." "That I'd be upset?" She nodded slightly. "Listen to me. I love you. And this child is part of us. I couldn't feel anything but love for something you gave me." He gently wiped the tears from her eyes. Susan put her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest. "God, I love you! Thank you." "What for?" he asked, stroking her hair soothingly. "Our baby. Our love." She started crying again. "Damn. Steven told me to expect emotional swings, but this is ridiculous. Look at me! I'm crying." "I won't tell anyone. I promise." Before either could say anything else, Susan's link chirped. "C&C to Ivanova." Susan wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before activating her link. "Ivanova, go. What's up, Corwin?" "Captain needs you in the command office on the double. Our Centauri guests have arrived." "On my way." She looked at Garibaldi as she stood. "Let the fun begin." "Suzotchka?" She turned as she reached the door, a radiant smile on her face. "Let's pick out baby names when our little crisis is over." She nodded and headed for C&C. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 5 Date: Fri, 04 Apr 1997 00:28:33 -0700 Blessings, Part 5 Disclaimer in Part 1 Susan walked into the war room just in time to see Vir and a group of very harried looking Centauri sit down at the round table. They looked as though they had seen quite a bit more action than they would have liked. "Vir, where's Londo?" asked Sheridan. "He refused to leave. He pushed me into the shuttle and closed the door after me. Before I could even think, we were in hyper space." "I know you've had a rough time of it, but there are a couple of questions I need you to answer." At Vir's nod Sheridan proceeded. "How many of your ships are coming this way?" "About forty. Ten freighters, fifteen shuttles and the rest are cruisers," Vir said nervously. "How far behind you are the Vorlons?" "I'm not really sure. Our ship was damaged when we tried to break through the Vorlon forces. We barely managed to get out in one piece. My guess is about 12 standard hours behind us. But with the Vorlons you can't ever be sure." "Thank you, Vir. You look like you took quite a beating. Mr. Lennier, would you please be so kind as to show our guests to their temporary quarters?" "Of course. This way, please." Lennier walked out of the war room with the Centauri group in tow. "Oooh, goody... guessing games. My favourite! What now?" asked Susan irritably. Sheridan ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "We wait. The Vorlons are coming this way. That's the only thing we know for certain. Arrange a series of drills. Everyone needs to stay on their toes out there. I want our squadrons to rotate in shifts, but make sure everyone knows that we need to be ready at a moment's notice. Have them sleep in their flight gear if necessary," instructed Sheridan. "I'm on it." Susan started toward the door. "It gets better, Commander," said Sheridan to the retreating form of his second. "Oh? When?" "In eight months." "I'm leaving now before I say something you might regret," she said with a wicked grin. "I want more about you and daddy, mommy," said Tasha, pouting prettily. "You promised no mushy stuff, mom! You promised!" Susan smothered her laughter by clearing her throat. "I know, Tashenka. But I promised Dmitri that for his part of the story I'd leave it out, remember? When we get to your part I'll tell you more about daddy and me, okay?" The little girl nodded and snuggled against her mother's shoulder. "Okay, mommy." "John sent me home after my normal shift to get some sleep. Before I went to my quarters, I stopped by MedLab to pick up the books Steven said I should read..." Six hours later an exhausted Michael Garibaldi walked into Susan's quarters. She was curled up on the couch sleeping. He quietly put his jacket on the table and went to the kitchen. Swiftly and efficiently Garibaldi made tea, put together dinner and started it baking. He took two cups of tea out to the living room and put them on the table. "Sweetheart?" he whispered softly as he rubbed her back. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "What time is it?" "Time for you to hit the hay. You've had a long day. Come on. You'll be more comfortable in bed." He pulled her into a hug and held her for a long time. "How do you feel?" "Okay for the time being. Junior wasn't impressed with lunch. But he didn't seem to mind the crackers." "I made you some tea. Do you feel up to it?" He put the cup in her hands and watched as she took a cautious sip. "Thanks. How was your day?" "Oh you know. One crowd after another. But we got most of the civilians and refugees off station. It's really weird walking around, seeing everything so empty. Zack and I talked to Delenn and the captain. We thought it would be best if none of the Centauri refugees were sent down to the planet." "Because of their involvement with the Shadows?" She waited for Garibaldi to nod. "We can't deny them sanctuary just because the Vorlons are on the warpath." "I know. I've arranged for them to stay on the station. I don't want to give the Vorlons any excuses to take out Epsilon 3." "Good thinking." Susan took another sip of her tea. "Sit with me." Garibaldi sat on the couch beside her and pulled her so that she was leaning against his chest. He held her loosely, gently clasping his hands over her tender abdomen. "I can't believe I'm going to be a daddy." His voice was soft and full of awe. "You've made me the happiest man in the galaxy." "I'm not complaining. But I think Junior is a little less than thrilled with his current quarters." "You keep saying he. What makes you so sure we're having a boy?" "First born children in my family are always male. I don't see why this little one would be any different." "Because of the Garibaldi genes. My grandmother used to say that Garibaldis live to stir things up. I bet we're having a little girl." "You're on. What's your wager?" "If we have a girl, we get married on your birthday." "And if it's a boy?" asked Susan skeptically. "That's up to you. What do you want if we have a boy?" he asked. "If we have a boy, we get married on your birthday. I'm warning you, Michael, there's no point in making this bet. I will win. I always win." "Well, then, Mrs.-soon-to-be-Garibaldi, what would you like to name our son?" "Would you mind a Russian name?" "No. Do you want to use a patronymic?" "I'm impressed, Mr. Garibaldi. I didn't know you knew anything about Russian naming traditions." "Hey, I studied some Russian when I was a kid." "Sure you did. I bet you can get to a bathroom, cuss out the valet, and maybe get yourself to the store." "Close. I can cuss out the valet *and* the proprietor at the store. Never got much beyond that." He kissed her temple. "What's your patronymic?" "Andreevna." "How about Vasilli Mikhailovich Andreev?" She stifled a laugh. "No. Reminds me too much of my last year in school. Trust me, you don't want to go there." "Okay..." They spent the next half hour with him suggesting names and her vetoing them. "I give up. What's left?" he asked in exasperated resignation. "How about Dmitri?" she suggested. "Dmitri Mikhailovich Andreev." Garibaldi tested the name out a couple of times. "I like it. It has a nice ring to it." "Why not Dmitri Mikhail Garibaldi?" she suggested. "I want him to have your name." He leaned over Susan's shoulder and said, "Well, little guy? What do you think?" "Michael Alfredo Garibaldi, you get him going now that my stomach has finally calmed down and you are in big trouble." Garibaldi tightened his arms around her. "Just relax. I'll take good care of you and junior. Are you up to a little bit of pasta?" "Maybe in a few minutes. I just want to sit with you for a while." Garibaldi had tucked Susan into bed immediately after dinner. She had managed to eat half a plate of pasta before her appetite abandoned her. He puttered around the livingroom, organising papers and neatly stacking the books Steven had given her. Garibaldi's link sounded. He automatically activated it and whispered, "Garibaldi, go." "Hey, Chief. Why're you whispering?" asked Zack. "Susan's sleeping. What's up?" "A bunch of us decided that we wanted to have a little get together before things go to Hell. Would you like to join us?" "If you dare say no, I'll throttle you," said Susan in a quiet voice. She stood behind him with hands on hips and a no-nonsense look on her face. "Where?" "Earheart's." "See you in 10, Zack. Garibaldi out." He walked her back into the bedroom and waited for her to lie down. "Are you sure?" "I'm okay. You go have fun. I just want to get a little sleep." "Love you," he said as he leaned to kiss her forehead. "Love you too." Susan woke up at 0230 to the sound of Garibaldi racing into the bedroom. She slowly got up, thankful that her stomach seemed okay. "What's going on?" "I think the you know what is about to hit the fan. I told John I'd come get you. Long range probes have picked up a couple of Vorlon ships headed this way. They'll be here in the next hour." Susan quickly put on her uniform and tied her hair back. "Well, this is it," she told her reflection. "Guess I'd better move." Garibaldi caught her in a hug before she made it to the door. "Remember, no matter what happens today, I will always love you." "I know." Garibaldi gently rubbed her stomach. "Hey, little guy. You take good care of your mom, okay?" From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 6 Date: Sun, 06 Apr 1997 23:50:42 -0600 Hi all, Here's part 6. Sorry it's taken so long but that work thing has just overwhelmed me. For disclaimers, see part 1. And again, all comments are appreciated. Thanks to Deja and Bea for all their comments and encouragement. :) Miki ******** Blessings Part 6 Susan stood at her console watching with pride as the fleet fell into formation. She had always dreamt of being part of such a great achievement, but never imagined it would happen in her lifetime. "Commander, jump points are opening all around us," said Corwin, snapping Susan out of her reverie. Suddenly seven Vorlon cruisers and a dozen smaller ships arrived on their doorstep. "Heads up, people, this is it," she said sharply. "C&C to Vorlon fleet. Please respond." Sheridan emerged from his office. "Any response?" Susan shook her head. "Nothing." "Sir, I'm detecting a power surge. They're scanning us," Corwin said. "The fleet is holding position. Weapons' systems are on line," said Susan, maintaining her calm, cool, commanding presence. "I want everything we have pointed at them," said Sheridan. "Aye, sir," she responded automatically. Her fingers danced across her console, preparing weapons and defense systems. "Vorlon fleet, this is Captain John J. Sheridan. Stand down your weapons systems immediately and retreat from Babylon 5 space." "They're not responding." No sooner than the words were out of her mouth than the Vorlon's opened fire on the fleet. "Show time. This is going to be a rough ride. Sheridan to all vessels, fall into formation. Weapons are free. Fire at will," commanded Sheridan. Energy beams from the Vorlon ships cut through the blackness of space, jumping at the Star Furies as they moved in. The smaller crafts agilely dodged the beams, swarming around their attackers. Everyone in C&C looked on as the Forces of Light fought valiantly. They had surrounded the Vorlons and while they were inflicting quite a bit of damage, the weapons' technology of the Vorlons proved to be too much. "Alpha Leader to C&C, we're getting our butts kicked!" came Garibaldi's strained voice. "Alpha Leader, check your six!" Zack Allen's voice called. "I'm on it, Alpha 2." Two of the smaller crafts were picking off Star Furies at an alarming rate. Alpha 2 executed a roll and fired at the Vorlon. "Alpha squadron, follow me. We're going to nail this SOB!" Alpha squadron narrowly evaded the fire of a Vorlon ship and methodically surrounded it. They opened fire simultaneously, dispatching the vessel in a brilliant flash of light. In the ensuing confusion, the other of the smaller Vorlon ships had circled around and started firing randomly, damaging as many targets as possible. "Sir, I'm detecting a massive power surge from deep within Epsilon 3," said Corwin. An intense beam of energy cut through space, destroying two of the large Vorlon ships. Then, as quickly as they arrived, the Vorlons opened jump points and were gone. "What the...? Sheridan to all vessels, return to the barn." He turned to Susan. "Coordinate with the White Stars. We need a patrol set up. Then I need any ships that aren't critically damage to help bring in those that are. Alert MedLab that casualties are going to start coming in. I need you to get as many crews as we can spare to check damage to the station. Also, send a thank you message to Draal. His timing was great. Commander, hold down the fort. I'll be in the docking bays assessing the damages." "Aye, sir." She watched as Sheridan left the deck. Mayhem and chaos reigned freely in the docking bays. Med teams had set up a triage station in the main bay and were taking in casualties faster than they could attend to them. Sheridan listened intently as one of the pilots outlined the situation, when his link beep. "C&C to Sheridan." "Excuse me." He raised his hand and activated his link. "Sheridan here." "Sir, Alpha Leader and Alpha 2 are on their way to Bay 1. They've both taken quite a beating, but are traveling under their own power. Alpha Leader's transmitter is on the fritz. Would you please remind him to file a flight report with C&C when you see him?" asked Susan's no-nonsense voice. "Will, do. Sheridan out." A group of Minbari headed by Delenn and Lennier swept through the docking bays, providing relief to all they could. Zack Allen staggered towards Delenn, reaching for her arm. "Please, you gotta help me," he gasped. "Get a doctor." "You are injured. Come, I will take you to..." "No, please, over here." Delenn and Lennier followed Zack to the docking platform. Neither of them were prepared for the sight which greeted them. "In Valen's name!" gasped Delenn. Garibaldi was propped up against the wall. Blood covered most of his face and upper body. A large red blotch was forming just below his ribs. "Go find a medic, we need a stretcher. I will tend him until you get back," she assured Zack. He and Lennier left quickly. Delenn turned back to Garibaldi and carefully loosened the collar of his flight suit. He took in a ragged breath and opened his eyes. "Ambassador," he said in a weak voice. "Shh... Mr. Garibaldi... Michael. You are going to be fine. Mr. Allen went to get us some assistance." "Thanks. Delenn... I need you to do something for me." He paused for a moment, taking several deep, gasping breaths. "Tell... tell Susan I love her... in case I don't... get another chance." "You will see her soon, Michael. Everything is going to be fine." She gently wiped the blood from his forehead with the sleeve of her robes, shocked at its steady flow. Moments later Lennier and a medic ran towards them with a stretcher. With Lennier's help, the medic quickly immobilised Garibaldi's neck. They gently lowered him to the ground onto a back board and lifted him onto the stretcher. As they approached the triage area, the medic waved at one of the nurses. She quickly assessed Garibaldi's condition and said, "we need to get him to MedLab, stat. He's got severe internal injuries and head trauma." With that, they wheeled the stretcher out of the docking bay. Delenn quickly found Sheridan overseeing the docking of one of the more severely damaged vessels. "John, may I have a moment?" she asked in a voice that brooked no argument. He turned to look at her, noting the blood on her robes and hands. "How's the triage effort going?" "Better. We have people bringing down more supplies. John, I need you to call Ivanova. Mr. Garibaldi has been taken to MedLab for emergency surgery." "Oh no." Sheridan activated his link. "Sheridan to C&C." "C&C online, Captain," came Corwin's voice. "Get Ivanova on the line for me." "Ivanova here, captain. What can I do for you?" "They need you in MedLab, commander." "Oh, God. Garibaldi?" "I'm afraid so. He's on his way up now." "I'm on my way. Ivanova out." Several hours later, Susan slept fitfully on a bed in the recovery ward. Delenn sat beside her, waiting silently to hear word of Garibaldi's condition, making certain that no one disturbed them for anything short of an emergency. She had come from the docking bay to check on the Chief when she found Susan pacing, looking for all the world like a sick, lost child. It hadn't been easy to convince her to lie down, but once Susan's head hit the pillow, it hadn't taken long for sleep to overcome her. Franklin walked in and headed over to wake Susan. Delenn gently restrained him. "How is he?" she asked in a hushed whisper. "Not good. He's suffered massive systemic damage. He's got a punctured lung, a lacerated kidney, his spleen ruptured, broken ribs, one of which pierced his heart, and a pretty serious skull fracture. I repaired as much of the damage as possible. The rest is in the hands of fate." "What are his chances?" "Frankly, I'm surprised he's made it this far. Even with broad-spectrum antibiotics he's still at risk of wide-spread infection. Realistically, I can't give him better than a 10 percent chance." He gently touched Susan's shoulder. She snapped awake and sat up suddenly. "Whoa, didn't mean to startle you. You can go see him now." "How is he?" asked Susan, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. "Let's go see him first, okay?" Delenn gently took Susan's arm as they walked back to the recovery room, trying to offer her support. But nothing could have prepared her for the sight that greeted her. Garibaldi lay prone on a bed, covered from the neck down by machines which monitored his condition and breathed for him. His hair had been shaved to repair his skull, revealing an angry red scar. Hot tears slowly made their way down Susan's cheeks. She reached out and rested her hand against his cheek. "What's the prognosis?" she asked, still looking down at Garibaldi. "I need your honesty, Stephen. Please." "His injuries are very serious, Susan. It doesn't look good." "I'd like to stay with him." "For a little while. But then I want you to go home, eat something and get some rest. The last thing you need right now is to stress your system any further." "I'm fine..." "I mean it, Susan. You've been pushing yourself too hard. You need to keep up your reserves. If not for your sake, then for the baby's. Don't make me restrict you. It'll only make us both miserable. Twenty minutes and then I want you to go home. Am I perfectly clear?" Delenn skillfully masked her surprise at the news of Susan's pregnancy. But now she was beginning to understand some of Susan's recent behaviour. Susan nodded slowly, eyes locked on Garibaldi's face. Stephen laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and left, followed by Delenn. "Tebja ljublu. Ne umirai," she whispered softly in Russian. She collapsed into the chair beside the bed and wept. Each heart-wrenching sob torn from the depths of her soul. After twenty minutes, Delenn returned, finding Susan sitting beside the bed, whispering softly in Russian. She gently rested her hand on Susan's shoulder. "Come, I will walk you back to your quarters." "I'd like to stay just a few more minutes." "Susan, there is nothing you can do here. Dr. Franklin assured me that he would call you the instant Michael's condition changes." "No, I want to be with him. Please, don't make me go. I need to be here." Her tone bordered on hysteria. "Listen to me, commander!" Delenn said sternly. "We are going to leave now, before Dr. Franklin comes in here and restricts you from your duties and confines you to your quarters. We are going to go to your quarters and you are going to eat and go to bed." "I promise I'll let you know if his condition changes. Don't make me carry out my threat, Susan. I don't want to have to do that," Franklin said from the doorway. "You can come back in the morning to check on him." Delenn firmly grasped Susan's arm and, despite passive resistance, pulled her from the recovery room. Franklin escorted them to the corridor. "Go home. I'll notify you the instant his condition changes." Susan fell silent and looked down at her children. Tears filled her eyes. She had lost so much before and during the war, but now she had these beautiful, loving children and a man who worshiped her and stopped at nothing to see her happy. "Mom, you okay?" asked Dmitri. "I'm okay. I just miss Michael sometimes, Mitya. He was my best friend." She offered a weak smile and hugged them closer. Tasha reached behind her and took a tissue from the end table. "Here, mommy. Don't cry, 'kay?" Tasha said as she wiped Susan's face. "Thank you, lapochka. Do you want to hear more?" Both children nodded enthusiastically. "Delenn walked me to my quarters..." Delenn followed Susan into her quarters. She did not want to intrude on her friend's privacy, but at the same time, she did not want to leave her alone with her grief. Delenn watched Susan wearily sit on the couch and pull her legs under her. Without a word, Delenn went to the kitchen and scrounged around for a few minutes. When she returned, she handed Susan a plate of reheated lasagna, set a glass of apple juice on the table, and sat down across from her. Mechanically, Susan started eating, not even tasting the food. Delenn took the empty plate and put it in the kitchen sink. "Get some rest. I will stay until you are asleep," said Delenn. "I appreciate all your help, Delenn. But you don't have to stay. I'll be fine," Susan said in a voice which she hoped sounded confident. But even to her ears it sounded uncertain. "I will stay because I am your friend. Go get some rest," she said, ushering Susan to the bedroom. Susan sat in MedLab listening to Stephen recite the dos and don'ts of pregnancy, when Garibaldi walked up behind her and put his arms around her. She leant back against him, enjoying his embrace. A happy, fuzzy feeling settled over her like a warm blanket. Stephen regarded the couple with amusement. This kind of behaviour from Susan Ivanova was simply not seen. He had never seen her so happy and content, but then he'd never seen her pregnant either. "Okay, you two. I have patients to see. Stop taking up valuable space," he said in a teasing voice. Susan stood up and turned in Garibaldi's arms. His face was covered with blood and a large, gaping hole had opened in his chest. A scream tore from Susan's throat as she looked down and saw that she was covered in blood. Susan woke with a startled gasp. She slowly focused on Lennier who was standing nervously beside the bed looking down at her. "Are you alright? I heard you cry out." "It was just a bad dream. God, I could use a shot of vodka. What are you doing here?" she asked. "Delenn asked me to stay with you in her absence. She is meeting with the captain and thought it best that you had someone with you should you need assistance." He quickly retreated from the bedroom, appearing a moment later with a cup of tea in his hands. She reluctantly took it from him. "This doesn't look like vodka," she said, sniffing at the dark liquid. "It is not," he said in a mildly chastising tone. "Delenn asked me to bring this for you. It will help relax you." "Thank you. I know you have things to take care of. I'll be fine now," she told him. "It seems that you are not taking proper care of yourself. Delenn has decided that we must make sure that you stay healthy. Please finish your tea and try to sleep a while longer. If Dr. Franklin calls, I will come get you." Susan finished the tea, enjoying the soothing combination of spices, and handed the cup to Lennier. "You don't have to stay, Lennier. Really, I'll be fine." "I have brought my work with me. I will remain until Delenn returns." With that he returned to the livingroom, leaving a very bemused Susan sitting on the bed. A few short moments later she was fighting to keep her eyes open and surrendered to the depths of sleep. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings part 7 Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 23:58:56 -0600 Hi all, Here's part 7... finally. Thanks to Deja and Bea for all their help beta-ing this puppy and for their support. See part 1 for the disclaimer. Again, all comments are appreciated (sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). The poem in this part (Each of us has a Name) was originally written by Zelda Mishkovsky. This part carries a Kleenex Warning. Miki ********** Blessings Part 7 "Mommy, I'm thirsty. Can I have a drink?" asked Tasha. "Okay. Do you want a drink, too?" Susan asked Dmitri. He nodded against her shoulder. She gently lifted Dmitri onto the couch and got up. "Stay here. I'll be right back." Susan went to the kitchen, got two small glasses and a slightly larger one down and filled them with orange juice from the refrigerator. She then added a liberal dose of vodka to the larger glass and returned to the livingroom. She sat down on the couch and handed her children each a glass. "Thank you, mommy," Tasha said, reaching eagerly for her glass. "Yeah, mom. Thanks." Susan took a healthy sip of her drink and put her glass on the table. She then put an arm around each of the children and started telling the story again. "About three days went by. I spent all of my off duty time in MedLab. I was getting ready to go to work when Stephen called..." Susan sized herself up in the mirror. From her appearance no one could have guessed that there was anything wrong in her life. She looked poised and professional. "Yeah, now all I have to do is convince myself," she mumbled. She ran the brush through her hair several times and walked out to the kitchen. "Well, Dmitri, if Delenn and Stephen thought I hadn't eaten, they'd tie me down and force feed me. So, what'll it be? We've got fruit, cereal, or toast." A moment later she reached for the plate of fruit and sat down at the table. She took a slice of pear and started nibbling at it just before her link beeped. "MedLab to Ivanova." "Ivanova, go." "Susan, we need you down here. Garibaldi has taken a turn for the worse." She was out the door before she replied. "I'm on my way." Susan ran into Garibaldi's room and nearly collided with Stephen. "What's happening?" she asked. "His body is starting to fail. There was too much damage to too many of his major systems. I'm so sorry, Susan. Why don't you go sit with him? Talk to him. He can probably hear you." Susan sat down in the chair next to the bed and took Garibaldi's hand in both of hers. She pressed a light kiss to the back of his hand. For a long time she sat, silently watching him, wishing that she could somehow will her life to flow through his veins. Finally she took a deep breath and started speaking in a soft voice. "I love you, Michael Alfredo Garibaldi. I've never been as happy as I am when you're around. You make me smile and laugh and you know when to shut up. Hell, you make it possible for me to face mornings with a smile on my face. No one has ever been able to do that. "I wish my father could have met you. You would have been fast friends. And I know that he would have approved of our relationship. Please, don't leave me alone again. I can't face that." "You'll never be alone, Suzotchka. I'll always be with you, here and here," Garibaldi rasped in a weak voice, resting his hand briefly above her heart and then on her temple. "How do you feel?" she asked, adding silently, "Oh, God, what a stupid question." "Like the entire Vorlon fleet is flying through me." He closed his eyes and took several gasping breaths. "Don't cry, Sus'n. I'll always love you... watch over you. Love... you..." His hand fell limply from her face and he fell into the relaxed pose of death, the light fading from his eyes as they slowly closed. Silent tears spilled from Susan's eyes. Her shoulders started shaking slightly as she succumbed to the despair that filled her soul and tore at her heart. It seemed like an eternity passed before strong hands gently pulled her away from the bedside. Franklin guided her to his office where Delenn met them a moment later. Susan practically fell into the chair and pulled her knees up to her chest. Delenn knelt down beside her. "There is nothing more for you to do here. Let me take you home, Susan," she said in a comforting voice. "I need a few minutes," replied Susan in a distant whisper. "Here mom, have another tissue," said Dmitri, handing her a handful of wadded up Kleenex. Susan took the offering and wiped her eyes. "You don't have to finish telling us if you don't want." "Yeah, mommy, me and Mitri can go to bed if you want." "You two! Why don't we finish the story first, okay? I know you want to hear it," she said in a loving voice. Then silently she added, "I need to tell them the whole story." The children both nodded vigorously and snuggled back against Susan's side. "We had the funeral the next day. Delenn and Lennier had arranged everything. I don't know what I would have done without them. It was a small gathering in the Dome..." A small group of people had gathered in the Observation Dome to offer their last respects to Michael Garibaldi. Susan stood at the front of the group with Sheridan. Susan and Garibaldi's closest friends stood behind them with a small contingent of Rangers and a handful of the Security team. Susan's eyes never left the casket as it slowly made its way into the depths of space. In a soft voice she began to recite a prayer in Hebrew, bidding farewell to her best friend and lover. L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nah lah eyn hahayim v'nat'nu lah aviha v'imah L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah heharim v'nat'nu lah k'taleha L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah hamazalot v'nat'nu lah sh'kheyneha Susan's voice faltered. Garibaldi had brought more to her life since his return than she had imagined possible. He had filled all the empty places in her soul and filled her existence with happiness. And now he was gone. Susan continued her recitation as silent tears spilled from her eyes. L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah hata'eha v'nat'nah lah k'mihatah L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah son'eha v'nat'nah lah ahavatah L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah hageha v'nat'nah lah m'lakhtah L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenat'nu lah t'kufot hashanah v'natan lah ivronah L'khol b'riyah yeysh sheym shenatan lah hayam v'natan lah motah. By the time she finished the prayer, Susan's voice was barely pitched above a whisper. There was a brief silence before Sheridan started to speak. "I want to take a few moments to remember Michael Garibaldi. He was a good man with strong convictions. I never knew him to back down from anything. I'm proud to have known and worked with him over these past several years. And I'm proud to say that he was my friend. I will miss him and his unique sense of humour," he said just loudly enough to be heard by everyone gathered. He looked to Delenn and nodded. "I too am proud to have counted Michael Garibaldi as my friend. He taught me a great deal about what it is to be human. His passing brings great sorrow to my heart. May his soul walk in light, where no shadows fall." A few of the others gathered offered their sentiments about the man they had called friend. The casket finally vanished from sight. On their way out, everyone stopped to offer their condolences to Susan. She nodded silently at each of them. Marcus walked up and handed her a pendant very much like the one on his cloak. "He was as much a Ranger as I am. He'll be remembered as one of us." "Thank you," she said softly. Susan took the pendant and fixed her eyes on it. "He would have been proud to wear it." Lennier walked up and bowed deeply. "My thoughts are with you, commander." She bowed slightly to him, barely noticing that he had left. Franklin walked up and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm so sorry, Susan." "So am I, Commander," said Zack. She acknowledged them with a nod. The room had cleared out, leaving Susan, Delenn and Sheridan standing together. "Susan? Let's take you home," Sheridan said. "Come on." "It was a hard couple of months, but I buried myself in work. I had to make sure that I ate and got plenty of rest or I had Delenn and Stephen all over my case. And you know how grumpy mommy gets when people pester her." Dmitri and Tasha both nodded. "We had a long lull in activity. The war seemed to be at a standstill. There were skirmishes and small stand offs between the Shadows and the rest of us. But the universe was taking a deep breath before plunging into the ugliness that was ahead." Susan picked up her glass and drained it. The children waited patiently for her to sit back and continue the story. "Uncle Lennier was a real trouper. I was just starting my seventh month of the pregnancy..." Susan sat in MedLab looking very pregnant. Franklin had just finished his exam and was showing her the pictures of the baby. "He's perfect, Susan. You've done well keeping your weight up and eating healthily. I still want you to take the vitamins, though." "You don't have to worry about that. Delenn's taken it upon herself to have someone bring me breakfast and my vitamins every morning. I appreciate everything she's done for me and I know she means well, but seriously, I'm a big girl." Franklin chuckled. "Yes, but she knows you as well as any of us. And we all know that you forget to take care of yourself when you get involved with work. We just want to make sure that you and the baby stay healthy." "In that case, I'm in good hands," she said with a smile. "Have you given any thought to child birth classes? It'll make it a lot easier on you when the time comes." "I've given it a lot of thought. But... but I don't have a coach. Kind of makes it hard." "Why don't you ask Delenn?" "She's already done so much. I don't want to take anymore of her time than she's already given." "How about Marcus?" suggested Franklin. "He's very protective of you. And he'd make a great coach." "Don't get me wrong. I like Marcus. It just wouldn't be practical to have a coach who could get called away from the station at a moment's notice." "I understand. It's a very personal thing. Ask Delenn. Maybe she can help you think of someone." Several hours later Susan sat alone in her quarters eating a sandwich while reading a book on infant care. The door chime sounded and, without looking up, she called, "Come in." The door opened and Delenn walked in. "Good evening. How are you feeling?" "Hi. I'm okay. Have a seat," said Susan, smiling at her friend. She quickly finished the sentence she was reading and put the book on the table. "Dr. Franklin mentioned that you might want to talk with me this evening." "Yes. Can I get you anything?" Susan asked, getting to her feet with a small effort. "I put on a pot of tea. It should be ready." "That would be lovely. Sit down, please. I can get it." "It's okay, Delenn. I've been sitting for a while. If I don't move around a bit nothing short of a crane will get me up." Susan returned with the tea and two cups on a tray. "Here we go." She poured them each a cup and handed one to Delenn. "Thank you. Susan, not to sound rude, but what is that?" Delenn asked, indicating the half eaten sandwich. "Latest craving. Peanut butter, pickles and mayo. It's actually not too bad." "So, what is it you wish to discuss?" Delenn asked, quickly changing the subject. She barely managed to suppress a shudder at the mere thought of tasting Susan's creation. "I wanted to take child birth classes, but I don't have a coach. Do you have any suggestions?" "Marcus would..." "No, Stephen suggested him. He's a nice guy and a perfect gentleman, but he's gone too much. It just wouldn't do to go into labour while he's on Mars." "Would you feel comfortable with Lennier?" "Maybe. I don't want to impose on him or you like that. You've both done so much for me these past months." "Nonsense. Lennier would be glad to do it. I will have him come see you tomorrow morning." Delenn smiled warmly at Susan. "We are your family, Susan. That is what we are here for." "Thank you," Susan said sincerely. "I think Dmitri is going to be a very spoiled little boy with such a wonderful aunt and uncle around." The look on Delenn's face was absolutely priceless. "Why would one want a spoiled child? When food spoils, do we not throw it out?" Susan barely covered her laughter with a cough. " To spoil a child means to smother him with kindness and let him do things that he's generally not allowed to do." "Oh, I see," said Delenn, still not entirely certain that she did. Translation: Each of us has a name given by the source of life and given by our parents Each of us has a name given by our stature and our smile and given by what we wear Each of us has a name given by the mountains and given by our walls Each of us has a name given by the stars and given by our neighbors Each of us has a name given by our sins and given by our longing Each of us has a name given by our enemies and given by our love Each of us has a name given by our celebrations and given by our work Each of us has a name given by the seasons and given by our blindness Each of us has a name given by the sea and given by our death. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 8 Date: Sun, 20 Apr 1997 00:42:18 -0600 Hi all, Here's part 8. See part 1 for disclaimer. I know it's a little long in coming... I just wanted it to be right. Thanks to Deja and Kathleen for beta-ing. I really appreciate all the help. :) All comments and remarks are welcome (sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). Miki ***************** Blessings, Part 8 by Miki Marcus Cole sat on the floor in Susan's living room with a more or less assembled baby bed and a handful of mystery pieces in front of him. He knew he should have left this task for Lennier. Puzzle solving had never been his strong suit. Under his breath he muttered a Minbari curse and started taking the bed apart again. Susan sat on the couch watching with amusement. "Would you like a hand?" "No, no. Everything's under control. I'll have this put together in no time." "That's what you said the last time you took it apart... two hours ago," she said, stifling a laugh. "Wouldn't it have been simpler to get one that had already been assembled?" "Yes, but then I wouldn't get the satisfaction of getting to watch you fight with it." Susan leant forward, extending the instructions to him. "As we used to say in the Academy... RTFM." Marcus turned to face her. "RTFM?" "Read The Fragging Manual." Marcus snatched the paper from her with a sour look on his face. "I..." Before he finished his sentence, the door chime sounded. "Come in," called Susan, fighting back another fit of laughter. Delenn and Lennier walked in and took in the chaotic scene before them. Lennier's face did not betray anything, but Delenn had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. Susan slowly, carefully got to her feet. It was becoming increasingly difficult to maneuver. Delenn walked over to her and rested a gentle hand on Susan's abdomen. "And how is he today?" "Restless. I think he wants to see what's out here." "Maybe you could swallow a rattle. Then he'd have something to occupy his time," offered Marcus cheerfully. "Thank you, Dr. Spock." Susan took a pillow from the couch and tossed it at the back of his head. "We're both doing fine. Marcus, I'm afraid, isn't faring too well." Delenn looked at the crib, which was once again broken down into its base components. "Did it not come with instructions?" Before anyone lost life or limb, Lennier jumped in. "Commander, we must go now. Our appointment is in 20 minutes." Susan looked back at Marcus, wondering just how safe it would be to leave him alone with tools and instructions. "Go. I will assist in the construction effort," Delenn said, giving Susan a firm push towards the door. Lennier bowed to Delenn and followed Susan, who nearly choked as she heard the last string of swearing and Delenn's request for a translation. Poor Lennier had no idea what he had gotten himself into. He was the only non- human in the room. He sat against the wall with Susan leaning back against him watching a vid of an actual human birth. His years of training were the only thing that stood between him and a hasty departure. He silently thanked Valen for making him male. Susan could sense Lennier's discomfort. She turned her head just enough so that she could whisper in his ear. "Are you alright with this?" "Of course," he whispered back. "I am honoured that you chose me to be your... coach?" Susan nodded and leant back again. "I appreciate this so much, Lennier. Dmitri is lucky to have such a wonderful uncle." Dr. Hobbs turned off the vid as it ended and turned to face the class. "Breathing is very important during the delivery... whether it's breathing to relax or anting through the more painful contractions. Don't fight them. Work through them and rest between them." "Mom, was Uncle Lennier really there when I was born?" Dmitri asked. "Yes, he was. He was my coach. And he was there when you were born too," Susan told Tasha. "But when you were born, daddy was my coach." "Does it hurt to have a baby, mommy?" Tasha asked curiously. "Oh yes. But as soon as you hold your baby for the first time, you realise that it was worth it. I'll never forget when either of you were born. Those were two of the happiest days of my life." Susan reflected on the slight fear that passed through her when she went into labour, the pain of the delivery, and the happiness at holding her son for the first time. "Really?" Dmitri asked. "Really. I may not have thought so when the day started. I had three more weeks to go before the due date. Stephen and John both decided that it was in everyone's best and quietest interests to let me stay on light duty..." Susan sat on the couch in Sheridan's office writing yet another report on yet another diplomatic function she had attended. Her temples throbbed, her back ached, and she was more restless than usual. And the only reason she was sitting there was because *someone* had threatened to tell Delenn that she was going against doctor's orders. "It's a damned conspiracy," she mumbled. Sheridan looked up from his desk, where he was going over the oxygen consumption logs. "Pardon?" "I said it's a conspiracy. You and Stephen are determined that I'm going to spend as much time on my butt as possible. As if it isn't bad enough to have all the extra weight in front, now I'm going to have a fat ass too." "I promised Delenn that I wouldn't over work you. She'd kill me if I let you stand around C&C or the War Room for your entire shift. Besides, I figured that once the baby's born, you'd be thankful that I made you sit and rest up because you're going to run all the extra weight off your ass trying to keep up with him," he said with a chuckle. "Besides, as a commander you're expected to polish your diplomatic prowess." "Thanks so much." "So, if you haven't had Stephen tell you what sex the baby is, how can you be so sure it's going to be a boy?" Susan dropped the pen she had been holding and paled. "Susan? What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked in his I'm-worried-but-I-don't- want-to-sound-like-I'm-worried voice. The look on her face told him that he had walked on sacred ground. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." "No. Don't apologise. You really couldn't have known." Susan took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. "Michael and I had this talk the day we picked out the name. I told him it was going to be a boy because the first born in my family has always been a boy. He said that Garibaldi genes were contrary and that we'd have a girl. We had a bet... we were going to get married." "Oh, Susan. I'm sorry. I know how hard this has been for you. You've put up such a brave front for all our sakes, but maybe it's time to let go. Let yourself feel before it tears you up inside." "It's so easy to say that. And it's easy to say that to someone else. But when you get used to keeping everything inside, locked away, it's hard to let even a little bit out." "Well, if you ever need a shoulder, I can think of quite a few that are available any time you might need one." Sheridan stood up and walked over to the couch. "Well commander, this shift is officially over. Would you do me the honour of letting me escort you to your quarters?" Susan stood up and smiled. "I think I'd like that." As she stood up a sharp pain tore through her. She clutched at Sheridan's arm and gasped. "What is it?" "Call Lennier. Have him meet us in MedLab." Twenty minutes later Susan found herself growing rather annoyed as she sat propped up on a bed. Delenn, Sheridan and Lennier had gathered around her and were fussing over her. Marcus joined them a moment later, distracting her from the rant she was about the let loose. He handed her a soft, white bundle. "I just got the news. How're you doing?" he asked. At her disgusted look, Marcus cracked a smile. "Never mind. That was a pretty stupid question. Is there anything I can do?" "Yeah, you can take these rubber necks out into the hall and..." Fortunately for everyone, Franklin chose that moment to come in. "How far apart are contractions?" asked Franklin. "They're about 5 minutes apart and they're getting a lot stronger," Susan said in a slightly strained voice. "I have brought your things, commander," Lennier said, holding up a small suitcase. "Thanks. And Lennier?" "Yes?" Susan's voice was calm but firm. "For both our sakes, call me Susan. This situation promises to get quite intimate and formality would just make it awkward." "As you wish." Lennier, turning just a touch pink, put the case on the foot of the bed. "I think perhaps we should adjourn to the other room. Susan must change into something less restrictive." Lennier shoo-ed the others out and made certain that the door closed behind him. When she had changed into the cotton robe Marcus had given her, Susan carefully walked to the door and cycled it open. Lennier was at her side instantly, offering his arm for support. Susan leant against him, taking comfort in his presence. Dr. Hobbs joined them in the room, examining Susan with a small ultrasound device while she and Lennier stood together at the foot of the bed. "Everything looks fine, Susan. The baby's still a little high, but that's fine. Keep walking around and don't fight the contractions. Stand on your tiptoes. Sometimes it helps get you through the tough ones." Two hours later the contractions came at 3 minute intervals. Lennier let Susan dictate the pace of their walks around the room and gently rubbed her back. Dr. Hobbs came back in to check on Susan and smiled as she passed the ultrasound device over her belly. "It won't be long now, Susan." "She wasn't kidding either. About 10 minutes later things really started moving along and 45 minutes after that, you were born, Mitya. Dr. Hobbs said her ears were still ringing when I got to take you home two days later," she said, poking him lightly in the ribs. "I'm not that loud, mom." "Not now, you aren't. But you were very vocal those first couple of minutes." "Are you going to tell about when I was born now?" Tasha asked, pouting because her brother had gotten so much attention. "Yes, lapochka. And I'll even tell you about my first date with your father," Susan promised. "That's my favourite part! Can I sit in your lap again?" "Okay. But no squirming, promise?" "Uh huh." Tasha climbed into Susan's lap and snuggled against her shoulder. "You remember I told you last night about John's trip to Za'Ha'Dum and how we chased the Shadows away?" The children both nodded. "Well, just over three years had passed. Things were starting to calm down a little..." From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 9 Date: Tue, 22 Apr 1997 01:42:54 -0600 Hi all, Here's part 9. See part 1 for disclaimer. Thanks to Deja and Kathleen for beta-ing. I really appreciate all the help. :) All comments and remarks are welcome (sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). Miki ********* Blessings, Part 9 by Miki It was a rare day for Susan. She had the day off and she was going to spend time with her son if it killed her. Marcus had invited them on a picnic in the gardens and she decided that she would take him up on it. She rested on the picnic blanket Marcus had set out for them, leaning against a tree, watching as her son tackled Marcus and wrestled with him. "You really should have one of your own," Susan said just loudly enough to be heard over Dmitri's delighted squeals. "You're really good with him." "I love him to pieces," Marcus replied just before he delivered a resounding raspberry to the boy's belly. Dmitri giggled and squirmed. "Yes, I do." "Have you ever thought about starting a family of your own?" "I've given it a bit of thought, yes." "Why don't you? You're a smart, good looking, funny guy," she said seriously. Then her voice took on a sharp edge as she added, "Besides, you've got that mystery woman waiting for you. Why don't you settle down with her?" "I honestly don't know how she feels about me. She's kind of hard to read in that respect," said Marcus as he returned to the blanket with Dmitri hanging onto his leg. "You won't ever know if you don't ask." Susan watched him sit down and pull Dmitri into his lap. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be so nosy." "It's alright, Susan. I guess I'm just a chicken." "You? Mister-jump-in-with-both-feet-and-your-eyes-closed-then-check-for- damage-later?" Susan snorted derisively. "Listen, Marcus, I've learnt something these past 3 years. Yes, there's a lot of pain and suffering in the universe and yes, we've both been on the receiving end of a lot of that pain and suffering. But that's no reason not to seize a little happiness when the opportunity presents itself. I've seen you play with Mitya. The way you look at him. You would make a wonderful father. Promise me you'll think about what I've said. Please?" Marcus looked down at Dmitri and tousled his hair. "I promise, Susan. I'll give it some thought." "Great. Now, why don't we pack it in? I have a few things I need to pick up on the Zocalo and there's some work waiting to be done when we get home." Susan watched Marcus carry her son. It was nice to see them both so happy. Lost in thought, Susan failed to notice that the Zocalo was teeming with activity. An unusual amount of activity at that. Suddenly Marcus handed Dmitri to Susan and took his pike in hand. "Go back to the gardens. I'll return for you," he said urgently. "No, I'll stay with you," Susan argued, taking note of the situation. Dmitri wrapped his arms around Susan's neck and buried his face in her hair. "Look, if Dmitri were at daycare, I might be having this discussion with you. Now take your son and go back to the gardens. I don't like the looks of this. Don't argue with me, Susan. You know I'm right." She scowled at him. She raised her hand and activated her link. "Ivanova to Security. We've got a situation brewing in the Zocalo." "We're on it, commander. Better stay clear. It looks pretty ugly," said Zack. Susan started to turn back the way she had come, her son nestled against her side. "Mommy, is Uncle Marcus going to be okay?" "Of course he is. We're just going to go back to the gardens for a while, okay?" Susan had the nagging feeling that something was wrong. She turned back to survey the scene unfolding in the Zocalo only to find herself looking into a menacing face. "Excuse me, I didn't see you," she said, trying to go around him. "I saw you, though," the man said in a gruff voice. "Make peace with God, Commander Ivanova." "No!" she cried as she saw the knife flash. Marcus heard Susan's startled yell and turned just in time to see her crumple to the ground. He quickly ran towards them. He clubbed the man soundly over the back of the head with his pike and kicked him in the side, so he wouldn't fall on Susan. Dmitri wailed pitifully, shaking Susan. "Mommy! Mommy!" Marcus picked up the screaming boy. Susan had fallen in such a way that Dmitri had landed on her rather than on the ground. "Susan, can you hear me? Bloody hell!" "I want mommy! Lemme go! Mommy!" screamed the child at the top of his voice. He kicked at Marcus, trying to make him let go. "Dmitri! Stop it!" Marcus said firmly. "I need you to be quiet so that I can help your mum. Can you do that for me?" Dmitri instantly fell silent except for some swallowed sobs as tears coursed down his cheeks. Marcus raised his hand, activating his link, suddenly grateful for the annoying piece of metal. "Cole to Medlab. There's been a stabbing on the Zocalo. We need a med team to the garden entrance stat." "Medlab, here. We're on our way." Marcus carefully assessed her injuries. There was a single wound to her upper chest on the left side. It was deep and quite serious. "Mitya, I have to put you down so I can help your mum. Grab onto my cape and don't let go, okay?" Obediently Dmitri followed his instructions, crying silently as Marcus worked on Susan. Marcus put pressure on the wound to slow the flow of blood. She groaned softly and opened her eyes. "Easy, love. Help is on the way." "Mitya?" she asked weakly, closing her eyes as a wave of pain crashed over her. "Mitya's fine, Susan. I've got you both. Try not to move." Silently Marcus prayed that the Med team would hurry. Susan had lost a good deal of blood and even with constant pressure to the wound, was still losing more. "You'll be fine, love." Three hours later, Susan slept on a bed in MedLab. The pain in her shoulder was beginning to subside, but Franklin wanted to keep her a couple of days for observation. The main door to the lab opened and Marcus, carrying a teary-eyed toddler, walked up to the window outside Susan's room. "See, she's going to be just fine," Marcus said reassuringly. "Hello Marcus. Hiya Mitya," called Franklin in a quiet voice. "Uncle Stephen, can I see my mommy?" "She's sleeping, big guy. Why don't you ask Uncle Lennier if he'll bring you by in the morning?" "Wanna see her now," Dmitri said, in the same stubborn tone his mother used when she would not take no for an answer. His blue eyes flashed the warning signs of a true Ivanov tantrum about to brew. "Stephen, I'm begging you on behalf of my sanity... what's left of it... to grant me this one request. If he doesn't get to see his mother, I'll never hear the end of it. He'll make my life a living Hell." "Well, okay." Stephen looked sternly at Dmitri. "But you have to be quiet so she doesn't wake up. Can you do that?" Dmitri nodded eagerly. Marcus handed his young charge over to Franklin, who carried him into Susan's room. He carefully put the boy on the bed next to Susan and watched him. Dmitri snuggled as closely as possible without actually touching her, laid his head on the pillow and rested a gentle hand on her arm. He stayed still, almost falling asleep as he watched her. "Mitya, we have to go now," whispered Marcus after a few minutes. He gently picked up Dmitri and settled him against his side. He then leant down to kiss Susan's brow. "Sleep well, Susan. I'll take good care of Mitya." Marcus had returned to Susan's quarters with Dmitri. After coaxing the sleepy boy to eat half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he tucked him in for the night. "You love my mommy?" asked Dmitri sleepily as Marcus turned to leave the room. Marcus nearly choked. "Everyone loves her very much, Mitya. Your mum is a very special lady." Dmitri sat up in bed, suddenly wide awake, and nailed Marcus with the don't- patronise-me look only children can pull off. "But do *you* love my mommy?" "Yes, Mitya, I love her very much," Marcus said in a very soft voice. "Are you my daddy?" "Why do you ask that?" he asked, sputtering. The child's curiosity was going to give Marcus a heart attack. "Ms. Landry at school tolded us daddy and mommy love each other. You love mommy. So you *must* be my daddy, right?" Marcus sighed. "No, love, I'm not your daddy. But I love you like I would if I were." "My mommy cries about you sometimes 'cause you love someone else. Mommy wants you to love her. Mommy wants to tell you but she thinks you won't come see us anymore if she tells you." "Did your mommy tell you all that?" Marcus asked after several moments of absorbing Dmitri's words in shocked silence. "No." Dmitri looked slightly embarrassed. "I seed it in her mind. Not supposed to tell. Want mommy to be happy." "You saw it, Mitya, not seed it," said Marcus, correcting the boy without thinking. "Did your mommy tell you not to tell?" "Uh huh. Not supposed to tell." "Don't worry, Mitya. I won't tell her you told me. Now, you lie down and go to sleep. I'll be on the couch if you need me, okay?" "G'night, Uncle Marcus." "Goodnight," replied Marcus as he walked out to the livingroom. "Hey, mom?" "Yes, Mitya?" "What happened to the guy who stabbed you?" he asked. "Dad hit him pretty hard." "Yes, he did. Stephen patched him up, but he never regained use of his arms or legs. He was tried and convicted of attacking an officer with intent to kill." "Why did he stab you?" Mitya asked. "I'm getting to that part, lapochek." "Mommy, I wanna hear about the wedding. Will you tell that part?" Tasha asked. "I promise. I won't leave it out." Susan shifted the children so that they were on either side of her. "Stephen let me go home three days later. And only because I bugged him every ten seconds. MedLab isn't mom's favourite place to be. He made me promise not to use my left arm for at least a week and said that he'd only agree to let me leave if someone stayed with us..." "Really, Marcus, I'm okay," Susan said as Marcus brought a tray with tea to the bedside. "No you're not. Unless you've forgotten, you were stabbed by a lunatic just three days ago." "Somehow I don't think that I'll forget that for a while," said Susan, remembering the fear she felt that her baby would be hurt. In a soft voice she asked, "Where's Mitya?" "I put him down for a nap about an hour ago. He's barely slept since..." "Nightmares?" Susan asked. "Some. He was pretty badly traumatised." Marcus poured a cup of tea and handed it to her. Susan sipped the hot beverage and let herself relax a little. "He'll be fine though. Children bounce back quickly. I'm sorry, Susan," he said, guilt seeping into his voice. "Marcus Cole, if you dare blame yourself for what happened, I will personally kick you from here to MedLab, where they'll have to do emergency surgery to remove my shoe from..." "I should have stayed with you, dammit. You nearly died and Dmitri could have been badly hurt." "Could haves and should haves don't do anyone any good, Marcus. As Delenn is so fond of pointing out, everything happens for a reason. Besides, you aren't the lunatic who planned to off me. You saved my life, remember?" Susan looked up at him. "I'll never forget that." Several awkward moments passed. Before either of them could think of anything to say, Dmitri's voice called out from the other room. "Uncle Marcus? I'm thirsty." "Duty calls," Marcus said, beating a hasty retreat to the kitchen. He returned after getting Dmitri settled back down. "I have to take care of some business. Will you be alright alone?" "I'm a big girl, Marcus. I'll be fine." "I'm going before I get the shoe threat again," he said in a teasing voice. "Call me on the link, if you need me. I'll be back before supper." Marcus walked into Sheridan's office carrying a data crystal. "Captain, may I have a moment?" "Of course. What can I do for you?" Marcus sat in one of the chairs across from the desk. "I got the information you asked for." "Anything we can go on?" "I'm afraid not. Whoever planned the attack on Ivanova didn't want to be traced. The poor bloke who attacked her was a transient. Took 50 credits to do the job. He didn't even know the name of the person who hired him." "Do you have any leads at all?" "No. Not yet. I've got some of our best people looking into it, but so far they haven't turned up anything conclusive." "How's Ivanova?" "She won't admit it, but she's pretty shaken up," Marcus said. "She's trying to put on a brave front, but sooner or later the barriers are going to come down." "I know. She's lucky to have someone who understands her." "I'm not so sure I do," admitted Marcus. "What do you mean?" "When I put Dmitri to bed the night Susan was injured, he told me something that made me seriously think about my relationship with her... not our professional relationship, but our social... personal one." Marcus paused for a moment and looked down at his feet. "I've mislead her." "What do you mean?" "Back when she and I were out looking for the first ones we had a pretty candid conversation. She asked me if I had someone special waiting and I told her yes, but that someone didn't know it yet." "You were talking about her?" "Yes," Marcus said softly. "I never had the courage to tell her." "What does this have to do with Dmitri?" "Dmitri said that Susan loves me and is afraid that if she says something I'll stop coming 'round. How could I have been so stupid?" "You didn't do it intentionally. Susan is pretty hard to gauge when it comes to matters of the heart." "I know. I must have been blind. All the references she's made the past several years to that 'special someone' were pointed... I should have realised that she was jealous of 'her'... how could I have done that to her?" "Dwelling on it isn't going to fix it. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. I know that's a tall order and it's easy to say, but you'll both feel better with this out in the open." "Now to find the right opportunity." Marcus stood up and walked towards the door. "Marcus?" "Yes, sir?" he asked, turning back to face Sheridan. "Drop the sir, call me John. I just want you to know that Susan is like a sister to me. If you hurt her, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find an airlock with your name on it. Am I clear?" "As crystal." "Good. And another thing... flowers go a long way. I believe Susan likes Idrian Fire Lilies." "Thank you." From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 10 Date: Thu, 24 Apr 1997 01:38:19 -0600 Here's part 10. Thanks to Kathleen and Deja for all they're beta reading. All comments are appreciated (sjena@nmia.com or sjenka@aol.com). For disclaimer, see part 1. Miki ********* Blessings, Part 10 by Miki "Can we go find it?" Tasha asked softly. "Find what, lapochka?" Susan looked down at the little girl nestled in against her side. "The air thingy." "Air thingy?" Susan asked cluelessly. "What air thingy, honey?" Dmitri chuckled and nudged his mother. "She means the airlock, mom." "Yeah, that. The one with daddy's name on it." Susan tried with very limited success to stifle her laughter. "There is no airlock with daddy's name on it." "But Uncle John tolded daddy about it," said Tasha stubbornly. "Silly, he told dad. Not tolded. Uncle John threatened to make dad's life difficult if he hurt mom," Dmitri explained. "Did Uncle John mean it, mom?" "I'm sure he did. Uncle John isn't in the habit of saying things he doesn't mean. But the threat of getting thrown out of an airlock wasn't enough to stop daddy. As promised, he came back before supper..." Susan slept soundly through the afternoon. She had opened her eyes once just long enough to look at her son when he climbed into bed beside her, but had instantly fallen back into the protective arms of sleep. Dmitri had kept silent vigil over her with his small fighting pike ready, determined to protect her from harm. When the outer doors to the quarters had opened, Dmitri had slipped out of bed and crouched down beside the bedroom door, clutching the pike Lennier had given him for Christmas. He heard footsteps nearing the room and braced himself. When he saw the first leg come through the door, he swung, connecting quite soundly just above the knee. The ensuing commotion brought Susan wide awake. Marcus hopped on one foot as he clutched the sore leg, swearing loudly in Adronato. Dmitri stood stock still, staring up at Uncle Marcus in shock and dismay. Susan did the only thing she could. She burst out laughing. "What the hell is so bloody funny, woman?" Marcus asked in a tight voice. "Don't get all bent out of shape. As I recall, it was your idea to teach him how to use the damned thing. And, if memory serves, you're the one who suggested that Lennier get him one. Sit down before you fall over," Susan said, patting the bed with her good arm. Marcus hopped over and fell onto the proffered spot. Dmitri collapsed his pike and put it in his pocket. "I'm sorry, Uncle Marcus," he said tearfully. "I didn't want the bad man to come hurt my mommy." "I know, love. You were very brave. Your mum is lucky to have a protector like you." Marcus rubbed his leg gingerly. He then picked the boy up and put him on the bed beside Susan. "I spoke with Delenn on my way over. She wanted to know whether Dmitri could go have dinner with them and spend the night." "Really?" Dmitri asked excitedly. "Can I go, mommy?" "I don't know, Mitya. Can you?" she asked, fixing her son with a "you-know- better" look. "May I, mom?" "Yes, you may. Why don't you go pack your overnight bag, okay?" Dmitri was gone before Susan got the words out of her mouth. She turned her attention back to Marcus. "You know, it's almost funny to watch you teaching your son manners after listening to you tell off ambassadors and heads of state... not to mention hearing you swear in seven different languages," he said teasingly. Susan rolled her eyes, not allowing herself to rise to the bait. She nodded at his leg. "Are you alright?" "No real harm done. I'll have to remember to announce my presence the next time I come in." Marcus's demeanor changed as he realised he was still sitting on the bed. Suddenly nervous, he stood up and turned to leave. "I'll go check on him. Delenn and David will be here to pick up Dmitri any minute now." "It's okay. I'll go." "Susan, you..." "I can't stay in bed forever, Marcus. I got stabbed in the chest, not the leg. I'll be okay. And you need to get some ice on that or it's going to swell," Susan said in a voice that brooked no argument. She got out of bed carefully, waving off his help. "I'm okay." Marcus stood in the doorway to Dmitri's room taking in the scene as Susan and Dmitri packed his things. She was a totally different person when she was with her son. The hardened exterior dropped away, allowing the soft, loving personality to emerge. It was a side Marcus knew she possessed from the day he laid eyes on her. One that he had been determined to coax out. The door chime sounded, bringing Marcus out of his contemplative reverie. He hobbled over to the door and hit the release. "Good evening, Marcus... Are you alright?" Delenn asked as she entered the room with David in tow. "Yes, fine, thanks. It's just a bump. Nothing major. Dmitri will be out in a moment. Susan's just packing up his things." "Marcus, she should not be..." Marcus held up his hands. "I know. That's what I said. But I have the feeling that a sore leg would be the least of my worries, had I not let her have her way." "You've got that right," said Susan with a smile as she and Dmitri slowly walked into the room. Dmitri ran over to Delenn and threw his arms around her legs. He then turned to the two year old David and carefully hugged him. "Hi Aunt Delenn. Hi David. I brought my new toy. We can play with it at your place," he told his 'cousin'. David nodded enthusiastically. "How are you feeling?" Delenn asked Susan. The younger woman carefully perched herself on the arm of the couch. "Better, thanks. I really appreciate this, Delenn. I packed all his overnight necessities." "It is no trouble, I assure you. He and David get on famously. And we all love to have him over." Delenn took the bag from Susan. "Mitya, come give mom a hug," Susan said. Dmitri climbed the couch and carefully hugged his mother. "Don't worry, mommy. Uncle Marcus will take good care of you while I'm gone." Susan smiled and gently hugged the boy. She spoke to him in Russian, "You behave for Aunt Delenn and Uncle John, okay? No stupid stunts, young man. And take care of David." "I promise, Mama. I love you," he replied, effortlessly slipping into the same language. "I love you too." Susan kissed Dmitri's forehead. "Are you ready, Mitya?" Delenn asked. "Yeah!" Dmitri walked over and took Delenn's hand. "Susan, Marcus." Delenn bowed to each of them. "Good night, Entil'zha," said Marcus, returning the bow. "Thanks, Delenn." "It is no trouble at all. Good evening," she said with a smile, walking out the door with the children. "Hey mom? May I ask David to come over tomorrow? I mean, to spend the night?" Dmitri asked hopefully. "Sure, lapochek. But you have to promise that you'll go to bed at your usual bed time." "I promise. I just don't want David to miss out on dad's adventure stories." "Don't worry. We'll call Aunt Delenn first thing after breakfast, okay?" "Mommy? When will daddy come home?" Tasha asked. "He'll be home in time for supper tomorrow night. Your father never misses a meal..." Susan slowly walked to the kitchen. She opened the freezer unit and pulled out an ice pack. "Shoulder bothering you?" Marcus asked as he walked up beside her. He tried to control the butterflies in his stomach. He would tell Susan the truth tonight and that scared the hell out of him. Once this came out there would be no turning back. "No, it's for your leg." She handed him the pack and leant against the counter. "I'm sorry, Marcus. I shouldn't have laughed." "That's okay. It was pretty funny. He's learnt his lessons very well." Marcus sat down at the dining table and put the pack on his leg. "He's had an excellent teacher." Susan walked over and sat in the chair across the table from him. For several moments they sat in awkward silence. "Would you care to dine with me this evening?" he asked, fidgeting with the hem on his cape. "I'm not really up to going out," she said. "Who said anything about going out?" asked Marcus. He got up and hobbled back over to the door and released it. A moment later several waiters pushing carts walked in and started setting up a very elegant dinner. The last waiter walked up to Susan and handed her a large bouquet of Idrian Fire Lilies. The head waiter bowed formally and left Susan's quarters with the others in tow. Susan buried her nose in the fragrant blossoms to hide the storm of emotions that she knew would flash in her eyes. She took several deep breaths before looking up at Marcus, who now stood before her. "Thank you, Marcus. They're my favourite. How did you know?" "A little bird told me. Well, a not so little bird actually," he replied softly, suddenly sounding very much like a nervous child. He took the flowers from her and put them in a vase on the table she had not even noticed. He then extended his hand to her and bowed. "Shall we dine?" Susan took his hand after a moment's hesitation and followed him to the table the waiters had set up for them. He waited for her to settle herself before he sat down across from her. They ate in relative silence for what seemed like an eternity. Susan caught him nervously watching her several times before finally saying something. "Marcus, what's going on?" He looked up at her looking like a Centauri in a room full of angry Narns. "What do you mean? I'm having dinner with my best friend," he said nervously. "You've been dancing around something ever since you got here. What's wrong?" After a long pause, Marcus looked back up at her. "Susan, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for some time now. I've mislead you and for that I'm very sorry. You deserve better." "You're leaving with her, aren't you?" The hurt in her voice broke his heart. "No, love, nothing like that. Well, not really. Susan, when we talked about special people in our lives, we were interrupted before I had a chance to finish. I didn't know how you felt... and then you and Garibaldi... I didn't feel right telling you then. The wounds were too fresh. And then you were hurt and..." "Marcus, you're not making much sense." "No, I suppose not. What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Susan Ivanova. And have for a very long time. *You* are the special someone who didn't know." From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 12 Date: Fri, 06 Feb 1998 07:50:50 -0700 Hi all, I apologise for the delay in posting this. Life sort of got in the way. If you need any of the earlier parts, you can either email me for them, or you can visit my home page (http://www.nmia.com/~sjena). Thanks go out to Kathleen, Ruth K., and Susan B. for beta reading. I couldn't have done it without you! Any feedback is welcome (sjena@nmia.com). Regards, Miki ******************* Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to JMS (with the exception of Dmitri and Tasha who belong to me). I'm just borrowing them for a while. ******Part 12****** "Daddy had to go out on a scouting mission that took him away from the station for almost two weeks. But we had constant company. Uncle Lennier, Aunt Lyta and Aunt Delenn took turns coming over to make sure we were okay." "Yeah, mom got kind of cranky because they were hovering," remembered Dmitri. Susan snorted. "Uncle Stephen took it upon himself to bring me my vitamins every morning along with a full breakfast." "He even brought oranges!" interjected Dmitri excitedly. "The day before daddy got home, Uncle Zack came by for a visit..." Lyta sat on the floor playing with Dmitri. Susan quietly watched them from the couch where she had been napping. The doubts she had about the telepath when she came aboard as Kosh's aide had been replaced by a very strong trust. Without turning around, Lyta said, "Are you feeling up to having a little lunch? Dmitri and I made some chicken noodle soup." "Yeah, mommy. Aunt Lyta let me help!" Dmitri jumped up and ran to the kitchen. He carefully carried the bowl of soup to the table and returned to the kitchen for a spoon. "Here, mamochka. Aunt Lyta and I want you to get better." "Thank you, lapochek." She smiled and hugged him. Dmitri then handed her the spoon and waited patiently for her to taste the soup. "You should go into business, Lyta. This is wonderful." Lyta sat down in the chair across from them. "It was my great-great-great grandmother's recipe. Nothing to it really." "You're too modest." Susan had eaten all her soup and was putting the spoon in the bowl when Lyta's face lit up with a bright smile. "Did I miss something?" asked Susan, suddenly curious. "Zack's half way between here and the lift. He'll be here right... about... now." No sooner than she had the words out of her mouth than the door chime sounded. "Come in," called Susan. Zack stepped inside. "Commander, how are you feeling?" he asked. "Better, Zack. And when we're off duty, I'm Susan, remember?" "Well, I'm actually here on business," he said in a serious tone. "Come on, Mitya. We'll go to the park," Lyta announced as she picked him up. On their way out the door, Lyta smiled at Zack. "My place for dinner?" "You bet. I'll see you at 1900." He waited for the door to close before he picked up the bowl on the table and took it out to the kitchen. "Do you need anything?" "No, thank you. What's going on?" Susan asked, her suspicious nature getting the better of her. "I needed to get Lyta out of here before I could talk to you. And I knew that if I wasn't thinking about your case, she would have known something was up. Susan, I need some advice." "Uh oh. Here it comes," thought Susan. "You've gotten to know Lyta really well. And I... uhm... well... you see..." Zack ran his hands through his hair. "You know how I feel about her." "I have a pretty good idea, yes." "Susan, I want to... uhm... ask her... you know... to marry me. But I don't know how to approach her." "And you're asking *ME* for advice? Oh Bozhe." Susan stood up slowly and walked over to her book shelves. "You're closer to her than anyone here. I was hoping for a pointer or two. Maybe a suggestion. Something. Anything." Zack stood up and paced back and forth across the livingroom. "I've got it... why don't you tell me how you'd like to have a man propose to you?" Susan contemplated him for a moment and frowned slightly. How would she want Marcus to propose to her? "I never really thought about it." She paced with him across the room and then turned to him. "When did you want to ask her?" "Tonight. But I don't want to screw this up." "Lyta has kind of a romantic streak. Since I'm being honest, so do I, but if you ever repeat that to anyone, I'll deny it. Then I'll reprogram your wake up call." Susan sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Once Zack sat down, she continued. "Start with flowers. I think Star Lilies are her favourite." "Star Lilies. Okay. What then?" "If it was me, and I can't vouch for Lyta on this, I'd say go with a nice, private, candlelight dinner. Put on some romantic music... maybe soft jazz. After dinner, ask her to dance. You know how to dance, right?" "Sure." "Excellent. Wait until the mood is just right. Then pop the big question. I always thought the idea of the man getting down on one knee was kind of a chivalric gesture. But even just holding her hands... well, you get the idea." "That's great! Uhm... do you have any good soft jazz?" he asked enthusiastically. Susan got up and opened a box full of data crystals. She pulled one out and handed it to him. "This one's my favourite. I think it should do quite nicely." "I don't know how to thank you, Susan," he said sincerely. Zack kissed her cheek and headed toward the door. "I'll catch you later." "You're welcome," Susan said to the closing door, a smile tugging at her lips. Zack headed to C&C where he found Lt. Corwin on duty. He strolled up to his station and looked over his shoulder for a moment before getting his attention. "Hey, Corwin." "Mr. Allen. Anything I can help you with?" "Yeah. Any calls come in from Marcus Cole?" "Not yet." "Great! Do me a huge favour. Let him know that I've got *IT*. He'll know what you're talking about." "No problem. I'll leave a message for my relief in case he calls in after I go off duty." "Thanks. Hey, why don't you join us for Happy Hour at Earheart's tomorrow after your shift. We're going to be having a celebration." "I'll be there." Before Zack got to the door, Corwin asked, "What're we celebrating?" "It's going to be a surprise." "I had no idea that Uncle Zack and daddy had planned that discussion quite carefully. And Uncle Zack did ask Aunt Lyta to marry him that night." Susan smiled at the memory of Lyta's excitement when she came to tell her the news the next day. "When you helped Aunt Lyta get ready for the wedding, I got to stay with Dad for a whole week, remember?" "Yes, I do. Aunt Lyta and Uncle Zack decided to get married a month after he asked her. There were a lot of arrangements that had to be made. She asked me to be her matron of honour." "What's that, mommy?" asked Tasha. "A matron of honour keeps everything under control before the wedding. She stands with the bride at the altar during the ceremony." Susan pulled Dmitri back into her lap. "The wedding was a week away. Uncle Stephen had allowed me to go back to work a week before that..." Susan's quarters looked as though a whirlwind had gone through. Delenn and Susan watched as Lyta stood in her gown in the middle of a group of Minbari tailors. "What's the status of the flowers?" asked Lyta, doing her best not to move too much. "They'll be here in plenty of time. I've arranged to have them set up the morning of the ceremony in the chapel," said Susan. "And I have completed plans for the reception." Delenn smiled brightly. "I spoke with John last night. He said that he would be honoured to accompany you down the aisle." "That's wonderful," she said happily. And then announced, "Marcus and Dmitri are about to come in." Susan grinned and pushed the door release. The look of surprise on Marcus's face had them all laughing. "I won't ask," he said to no one in particular. He turned slightly so that Susan could take Dmitri, who had been riding piggy back. "My lady, your son... in one piece and all tuckered out, as promised." Dmitri snuggled against Susan and closed his eyes sleepily. She kissed her son's forehead and smiled at Marcus. "Thank you. He was going absolutely crazy with boredom." "You need only ask, Susan. I love to spend time with him." He ruffled Dmitri's hair. "Mind if I tuck him in?" "Come on. Excuse us for a moment," she said to the others and walked with Marcus to Dmitri's room. Marcus pulled back the covers on the bed and carefully took Dmitri from his mother. He put the sleeping child in bed and tucked the covers around him. "Good night," he whispered. "May happiness and light bless your dreams." Susan watched from the doorway. "Marcus, I have a huge favour to ask." "Anything, love. You know that." "I asked Delenn to keep you on-station for the next week so that you'd be here for the wedding. She approved." "I know. She had discussed it with me earlier. I have to be here anyway. It's kind of hard to be a groomsman when you're not around. So, what services do you require?" Susan smiled at him and reached for his hand. "Would you mind spending the week with Mitya? The wedding is in one week and, between work and last minute plans, I'm going to have my hands pretty full trying to keep Lyta sane." "Say no more. Since I've come into possession of your old quarters, I have more than enough room to have a good old fashioned slumber party. I promise we won't stay up too late and I won't feed him too much junk food." Marcus put his arm around her shoulder. "I've got a big surprise for you... well, actually, it's more for Lyta and Zack." "You managed the travel arrangements?" "Absolutely. I've arranged for them to spend a worry-free week at a friend's home on Minbar. He will be off-planet, so it isn't a problem. Everything is already set. No need to leave the house unless they want to. They will be in a secluded mountain village, four kilometres from the nearest neighbours." "You're amazing," she said softly as she kissed his cheek. On the fourth night of the slumber party Marcus ordered pizza for delivery. He had allowed Dmitri to choose all of his favourite toppings and even let him answer the door when it arrived. After setting the table with two plates and two glasses of milk, Marcus swung Dmitri into his arms and put him on the chair with the extra cushion on it. "Alright, munchkin, tonight you get to eat with your hands. But only if you promise not to tell your mum." Marcus pulled two slices out of the box and put one on each plate. "I promise!" Dmitri said excitedly. "Mommy always cuts it in pieces and makes me use a fork." "I know. But men eat pizza with their hands," said Marcus, silently praying that Dmitri never used that line on his mother. "Uncle Marcus?" "Hmm?" "Will you come live with me and mommy?" asked Dmitri before taking a bite of pizza. Marcus almost sprayed milk out his nose. Before he could say anything, Dmitri continued. "Uncle John and Aunt Delenn live together so David can play with them whenever he wants. I want to play with you *and* mommy whenever I want." A smile tugged at the Ranger's lips and he had to bite the lower one to keep himself from chuckling. "You'll have to ask your mum, kiddo." "Okay. You can even stay in my room. I have two beds, remember?" Marcus nodded as he finished his first slice thinking that Susan was going to have his head when things got back to normal. "So, what would you like to do tomorrow?" "Pike practice!" "You want to go with me to pike practice?" Marcus asked incredulously. "Yeah!" "I don't see why not. But you have to promise to do whatever Master Lenann tells you." "I promise." "Why do you want to go to practice?" "I want to be just like you when I get growed up." "When you grow up," he corrected gently. "You'll have to practice speaking Adronato, if you want to be a Ranger." "I know. Aunt Delenn and Uncle Lennier give me and David lessons sometimes." ************************************************************* * Miki Seiler * I have gone in search of myself. If * * sjena@nmia.com * I arrive before I get back, please * * golauleuad@aol.com * keep me there until I return. * ************************************************************* **************** http://www.nmia.com/~sjena ***************** ************************************************************* From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 13 Date: Sat, 07 Feb 1998 23:20:52 -0700 Hi all, Here is Part 13. Thanks go to Kathleen, Ruth K., and Susan B. for beta-ing. All parts are posted to my web page, but if necessary, email me and I can send them out individually. Miki ****************** See Part 1 for disclaimer. *****Part 13****** "The bond between you and daddy was always strong, but after spending a week with him, it had grown even stronger." "I still want to be like him when I grow up, mom." "I know you do. And I'm proud of you." Susan gently set Dmitri back on the couch and put her arms around her children. "There was a turning point for us as a family... an incident really. It was something that made me realise that it wasn't fair for me to push daddy away just because I didn't want to get hurt." "Mommy, why daddy hurt you?" asked Tasha unhappily. Susan thought about correcting her daughter, but decided that there would be plenty of other opportunities to reinforce her use of proper grammar. "Oh, lapochka, he didn't. But I was afraid that my heart would break if daddy ever left us... for any reason." "He won't leave, mom," said Dmitri with conviction. "I know that now. Sometimes adults aren't as smart as children are about these things." Susan kissed them both quickly. "It was three months after Aunt Lyta and Uncle Zack got married. Life had gone back to it's normal routine..." When Susan arrived at the Sheridan's quarters after her shift, she smiled at the sight that greeted her. Lennier was holding David, who slept soundly in his arms. And Delenn had Dmitri in her lap. He pointed at a picture in the book Delenn was holding. "Good afternoon, Susan," said Delenn quietly. "From the look on your face, I would have to say that you have had a long day." "No longer than yesterday. But it was quiet... we don't get that often." Susan looked down at the book they were reading. She mustered up what little Adronato she had learnt and figured out it was a history book. "Mommy, Aunt Delenn taught me how to meditate today," said Dmitri, looking very pleased with his new word. "That's great, Mitya. How did you do?" "He did better than most Minbari children twice his age. I wish to discuss this more with you later." Delenn put the book on the table and watched Dmitri jump into his mother's arms. "Alright. Why don't you come by around 2000 hours?" suggested Susan. She wrapped her arms around her son and smiled at him. "I will see you then." "Thank you for watching him, Delenn, Lennier. I'll see you later." Delenn walked Susan and Dmitri to the door and watched until they had entered the lift. Susan instructed the lift to take them to their deck and held her son in a loose embrace. Lieutenant Corwin, who had been in the lift when they got on, smiled at them. "Good afternoon, Commander. Hi, Mitya." "Lieutenant," said Susan in response. Dmitri waved. "Have you run into Marcus yet? He was looking for you about 30 minutes ago." "Not yet. Did he say anything indicating where he went?" Susan switched Dmitri to her other side so she could see Corwin better. "No, sir. He just wanted to know if I knew where you were and then headed out the door." "What did you tell him?" "The truth. I didn't know. But I should have guessed," he said as he ruffled Dmitri's hair. The lift stopped and Corwin got out. "Commander, I'll see you on deck in the morning." "Bright and early." Susan closed her eyes and tried to think of where Marcus might be. When the lift doors opened on their deck, Susan almost ran headlong into Marcus. "Susan," said Marcus brightly. "I've been looking for the two of you." "Uncle Marcus, will you hold me?" asked Dmitri, reaching out to him. Marcus pulled the boy out of Susan's grasp and put him on his shoulders. "Corwin said as much. What's up?" "Well, I was hoping to have dinner with my two favourite people." "Dinner sounds great. What are we having?" she asked. "It's a surprise." He hooked his arm with hers and led her to her quarters. Once inside he put Dmitri on the couch. "How would you like to help, munchkin?" "May I, mommy?" he asked excitedly. "Of course, Mitya. Can you manage without me for half an hour?" "Well... let me think... yes?" Marcus grinned at her. "I'm going to take a shower. When I get out, I expect that my kitchen will still be in a semblance of order." Marcus saluted. "Aye, aye, sir!" Susan walked into the living area towel drying her hair. Her son and Marcus were standing over the stove in a conspiratorial huddle. She knew that Delenn and Marcus had been teaching him Adronato, but until she heard them whispering, she did not know how well he spoke it. "Marcus, I think it's time I took you up on those lessons. I'm not sure I like being at such a great disadvantage." "Sorry, we didn't hear you come in, love. Why don't you have a seat? Dinner will be ready in five minutes." "Mommy!" Dmitri jumped off of the chair he had been standing on and launched himself into her arms. "Tebja ljublu, mamochka." "Ljublu tozhe." She put the towel on the back of a chair and sat down at the table which was already set. "You are getting so big!" Ten minutes later Marcus brought a covered platter to the table and set it down. "Here we go." He lifted Dmitri out of Susan's arms and put him in his chair. "This smells wonderful," commented Susan. "Hope it tastes alright," he said. "I've never made this before." Susan watched as he pulled the cover off the platter and looked up at him fondly. "You made vareniki?" she asked incredulously. Susan remembered how much trouble her mother went to when she made this dish. "You told me that the cherry ones were your favourite breakfast. I know this isn't breakfast, but there are cherry ones for desert." "And the ones for dinner?" "Cheese and herb." He handed Susan the serving utensils and watched her dish up. She cut into the vareniki and took a bite. They were almost as good as her mother's had been. "This is wonderful! I think you've found your true calling." Marcus smiled at her. "Actually, I have a confession to make. Apart from bangers and mash, scones, and tea, I couldn't cook my way out of a wet paper bag. One of my fellow Rangers helped me out." Susan scooped a vareniki onto Dmitri's plate and cut it into small bite-sized pieces. "Cooking not macho enough for you?" she teased. "No, it's not that at all. Too bloody domestic. I'm supposed to be a scoundrel, remember?" They ate in silence for a time. Susan had not enjoyed a meal this much since he had dinner brought to her quarters oh so long ago. "Uncle Marcus, may I ask mommy now?" "Ask me what?" She raised an irritated eyebrow at Marcus, who shrugged. "Is it okay if Uncle Marcus moves in with us?" Dmitri's innocent question nearly caused both adults to choke. "Susan, I honestly didn't know he was going to ask that," said Marcus apologetically. "We'll talk about it later," she said calmly. "But right now, I'd like to finish my dinner." After dinner Susan took Dmitri in for his bath. She had managed to get him in and out of the tub without incident and was drying his hair. "Why can't Uncle Marcus live with us and be my daddy like in the fairy tales Ms. Landry reads? I have an extra bed. He can stay with me," said Dmitri in a soft, sad voice. "It's not that easy, lapochek." "Why not?" he demanded. "I want a daddy. All the other children at school have daddies. David has a one." "Dmitri Mikhail Ivanov, what has gotten into you?" "Ms. Landry readed a fairy tale and tolded us about a little boy prince without a daddy and his mommy loved him so much that she found him a daddy and they gotted married and they lived together and everyone was happy. Then I asked Ms. Landry why the little boy prince wanted a daddy and she tolded me that he wanted to be like all the other little boy princes in the kingdom and she said that a real family has a mommy and a daddy and that if a little boy only has a mommy she doesn't love him very much because she won't let him have a daddy." By the time he was finished he was nearly out of breath. Susan could scarcely hear him, but she had a pretty clear picture of what had brought this on. "You know I love you very much, don't you?" Dmitri nodded. "Then you know that Ms. Landry was wrong. We're a family. We're a good family. We're just not the kind of family that Ms. Landry is used to." Susan stopped fussing with his hair and helped him get his pajamas on. "I'm sorry I made you sad, mamochka." Dmitri allowed her to put him in bed. "I'm not sad, lapochek. I have you. Now, go to sleep and tomorrow we'll go see Aunt Lyta, okay?" "Okay." Susan kissed his forehead and walked out to the living area. She closed Dmitri's door, walked to the table and slammed her fists into it. "What's wrong?" asked Marcus, instantly coming to her side. "Has Dmitri ever said anything about moving in with us to you?" "Yes, once, but I didn't really think anything of it." The door chimed before they could continue their discussion. "That'll be Delenn," said Susan. "Come in." "Good evening, Susan. Hello, Marcus. Have I come at a bad time?" "Not at all Entil'zah. Right, I'll be on my way." Marcus turned to leave. "No, please," said Susan, catching his hand. "Delenn came to talk about Dmitri." "Alright. I've made some coffee. Why don't we sit down?" he suggested. Delenn tasted her coffee as she contemplated her words. Susan and Marcus sat side by side on the couch, not quite touching. After a moment Delenn broke the silence. "Susan, I wanted to talk to you about what has been happening with Dmitri lately." "I thought..." "No, it has nothing to do with meditation. He has an incredible amount of focus, but that is not surprising considering whose son he is." Delenn looked a little guilty. "These three past weeks Lennier and I noticed that Dmitri has been somewhat withdrawn. Lennier thought perhaps he was feeling left out because of all the attention we showered on Lyta." "When he came to stay with me, he seemed perfectly fine. But he did ask me if I would move in with you two." Marcus frowned slightly and added, "Right after you were attacked, he asked me if I was his father. He said something about mum and dad loving each other and if I loved you I must be his father." "I think I have a pretty good idea what's going on. Would you mind watching him in the morning, Marcus?" asked Susan. "Of course not, love." The next morning Susan walked into the daycare with a purposeful stride. A young woman intercepted her as she headed toward Ms. Landry's office. "Excuse me, you can't go back there. Only employees..." "Either you can take me to see Ms. Landry, or you can get out of my way," said Susan in her Ambassador-withering voice. "I'm sorry ma'am..." "Don't ma'am me. You have no idea who you're dealing with. Now, I believe I've made myself clear. Are you going to cooperate, or do I have to get nasty." She met and held the young woman's nervous gaze, noting that she looked like a deer in headlights. "It's alright, Emma," said Ms. Landry as she came out of her office. "I'll see the commander." Without another glance, Susan brushed past both of them into the office. She waited for Ms. Landry to return to her desk and for the door to close. She paced the width of the room several times before she finally spoke. "Ms. Landry, I checked your qualifications thoroughly before I chose to put my son in your program. Everyone assured me that you were the best and I accepted that." "I assure you, my program is sound. We teach these children the importance of family..." "The importance of family," repeated Susan coldly. "Dmitri and I *are* a family. And while it would be absolutely idyllic for every child to have two parents, that isn't always realistic in this day and age." "It is a proven fact that children raised in a stable family environment are much more likely to become successful adults. They are very impressionable." "Yes they are. And Dmitri is not an exception." "If you have a point, Commander, please make it. I have a schedule..." Susan cut her off with an angry gesture. "I understand that you've been telling them fairy tales." "Yes. Fairy tales teach lessons..." "I'm well aware of the role stories play. My quarrel isn't with nursery rhymes and fairy tales. It's with you and what you've told my son." "Whatever do you mean?" asked Ms. Landry in a flat voice. "Last night he asked me if his Uncle Marcus could move in with us so he would have a daddy and a normal family like the children in the fairy tales and the children at school. He said that he asked you about why the prince would want a father. And I find what you told him to be extremely unacceptable. That you would even imply that I don't love him very much is absurd." "The boy ought to have a father, Commander." "His father was a good man, Ms. Landry and I miss him very much. I love Dmitri and have provided him with everything he could possibly need." "Except a father. I know it's not really my business, but wouldn't it be best to put aside your differences for Dmitri's sake?" "What are you talking about?" asked Susan venomously. "I know you probably don't feel that Mr. Cole could provide a stable life for you and your son, but Dmitri needs him. He speaks of him all the time. It's clear that they share a deep, loving bond." "Did Dmitri tell you that Mr. Cole is his father?" "No. I just assumed..." "Never assume. Dmitri's father died protecting this station. He never knew him." Susan slammed her fists on the desk. "I've tried to be a good mother. Dmitri is everything to me. And if his father were alive, he would love and cherish him as much as I do. But this is all beside the point. The point is that you have made Dmitri feel inadequate because of circumstances far beyond anyone's control. He was content with his life until you started preaching your family ideals. As you seem to be a bit behind the times, I'll bring you up to speed. Your idea of the traditional family died sometime in the late twentieth century. I think it's time to revise the lesson plans, don't you?" "Commander, I am so sorry..." "Tell that to my son." Susan turned to leave and stopped just short of the door. "I'm pulling Dmitri out of your program. And if I ever hear of another incident like this, you'll find out about our open airlock policy. Am I perfectly clear?" Ms. Landry nodded weakly. "I didn't hear you," said Susan belligerently. "Yes." "That's what I thought you said. Good day." "Officially, Uncle John lectured me about diplomacy and threatening people. Unofficially, he said I was too nice." Susan looked at her son. "I felt very badly about what Ms. Landry put you through. She had no right." "I know, mom." Susan gently extracted herself from the children, picked up the glasses and went to the kitchen. She opened a cupboard and pulled out a bowl. "Do you want pretzels or crackers?" "Pretzels," they both replied. She filled the bowl with pretzels and poured more orange juice into the glasses, adding a small shot of vodka to her own glass. Somehow Susan managed to carry everything out to the livingroom and sat back down on the couch. "Did you and Daddy getted married then?" Tasha asked. "Get married, dushenka. And no, Daddy and I didn't get married for quite a while. Even though Aunt Delenn and Aunt Lyta tried their hardest to move things along." ************************************************************* * Miki Seiler * I have gone in search of myself. If * * sjena@nmia.com * I arrive before I get back, please * * golauleuad@aol.com * keep me there until I return. * ************************************************************* **************** http://www.nmia.com/~sjena ***************** ************************************************************* From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 14 Date: Sat, 21 Feb 1998 19:18:34 -0700 Thanks to Ruth K., Susan B., Kathleen, and Ria for beta reading! You've been great! Comments are always welcome. See part 1 for disclaimers *****Part 14***** Usually Susan looked forward to the weekend. Two days off with nothing to do but spend time with her two favourite guys was her idea of perfection. This weekend, however, was not turning out the way she had hoped. Delenn and John had taken David and Dmitri to Minbar for a festival and Marcus was with Lennier on a last minute scouting mission. To make matters worse, John had left instructions with the crew that she was not allowed to step foot into C&C or his office until her shift began Monday morning. After pacing her quarters for the better part of an hour, Susan resigned herself to her fate. She picked up a book of Russian verse and settled in on the couch for a good read. Three hours later the door chimed, bringing Susan back to reality. She sighed and put the book in her lap. "Come in." Marcus walked in carrying a bouquet of roses. "Bet you were expecting a door to door salesman," he said in a teasing voice. "Marcus!" she said happily. "I thought you'd be gone until tomorrow at the earliest." He handed her the flowers and brushed his lips across her cheek. "There wasn't really a scouting mission. We were just picking up a special delivery." "They're gorgeous, Marcus. Thank you." Susan took the flowers out to the kitchen and set about putting them in a vase. She then put the arrangement on the kitchen table. Marcus picked up the book she had dropped and opened it. When Susan returned to the livingroom, she almost laughed at the sight he presented. He was holding the book at different angles and studying it with exaggerated determination. "No matter how I bloody look at it, I can't make a thing of it." "It's Russian poetry," she told him as she sat down beside him. Marcus handed it to her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Read something to me. Please? I've never heard Russian apart from the bits and pieces I've heard you and Mitya speak." "What do you want to hear?" she asked. "Anything." *Okay, might as well go for broke,* she thought as she opened the book. She started softly: Mi - dva grozoi zazhzhennie stvola, Dva plameni polunotchnovo bora; Mi - dva v notchi ljetjashchich meteora, Odnoi sud'bi dvuzhalaja strela! Mi - dva konja, thc'i derzhit udila Odna ruka, - odna jazvit ich shpora; Dva oka mi jedinstvennovo vzora, Metchti odnoi dva trjepetnich krila. Mi - dvuch tenjei skorbjashchaja tcheta Nad mramornim mramorom bozhestvennova groba, Gdje drevnjaja potchijet Krasota. Edinich tain dvuglasije usta, Sebe samim mi - Sfinks edinii oba. Mi - dve ruki edinovo kresta. "You read beautifully," said Marcus. "What does it mean, love?" Susan scanned the poem again and gave her translation: We are two trunks the thunder set alight, Two flames in a midnight forest; We are two meteors flying through the night, The twin-barbed arrow of one destiny. We are two horses whose reins are held By one hand, pricked by the same spur; We are two eyes of a single vision, Two trembling wings that bear one dream. We are a sorrowful pair of shades Above the marble of a sacred tomb, Where ancient Beauty sleeps. A two-voiced mouthpiece of the same mysteries, We are one and the same Sphinx for each other. We are two arms of a single cross. Susan put the book on the table and faced Marcus. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Are you trying to tell me something?" A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "I love you, too, Marcus. It occurred to me when I read it earlier that I'd actually never told you." He pulled her into a hug and ran his fingers through her hair. "I don't suppose you'd allow me to take you for a walk in the gardens and dinner, would you?" "Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Cole?" "That was my exact intent, Commander." "Let me give it some thought... yes. I'd love to go out with you this evening, kind sir. Just give me 20 minutes to get ready." "I'll be back in 20 minutes, then." "That started our tradition of taking walks every evening. Even if one of us is off station, the other still goes to the gardens." "Bet Dad doesn't sneak up on you any more, right?" teased Dmitri. "No, lapochek. He only made that mistake once," said Susan, hoping the dim lighting was enough to hide her blush. "Come on mom, Tasha hasn't heard about that and I want to hear it again," he urged, nudging her arm playfully. "You aren't ever going to let me forget about that, are you?" "Nope." "Oh, alright. A couple of weeks had passed since our first official date. Daddy got called away on a real scouting mission and was gone for the better part of a week. One day after my shift..." The day had started out peacefully enough. But by the time lunch had come and gone Chaos had taken on a whole new meaning. And now, at the end of her shift, Susan had one trampled nerve left and it had headache written all over it. She walked into the Zen garden in hopes of salvaging the tattered remains of her sanity. Susan stood at the edge of the rock garden and, as her eyes wandered over the ripples, she tried to clear her mind. As the tranquility of her surroundings washed over her, Susan finally began to relax. Oblivious to the world around her, Susan failed to hear the footsteps behind her. Marcus gently grasped her shoulders and whispered, "boo!" Marcus never knew what hit him. Susan spun around, planting the heel of her boot into his shin and smashing the back of her fist into the side of his face before she realised who it was. He staggered back, tripping over the bench, and landed on the ground with an unceremonious thud. "Der'mo!" cried Susan as she fell to her knees at his side. "Marcus? O bozhe! Can you hear me?" "No need to shout," he whispered miserably. Susan raised her hand and activated her link. "Ivanova to MedLab." "Online." "I need a med team to the Zen garden ASAP." "On our way, Commander." Twenty minutes later Susan paced furiously in the waiting area. She could not bear to watch as Stephen gently examined his newest patient. "Geez, Marcus. How many were there?" asked Stephen incredulously. "Just one," he said sheepishly. "Must have been one Hell of a guy to do this to you." "Actually, she took me by complete surprise." He indicated Susan with a slight nod. "Susan did this? And here I thought the two of you were doing so well together. What did you say to her?" "It wasn't an argument. I startled her and she took a swing at me." "Commander, would you please come in here?" called Stephen over his shoulder. Susan quickly walked into the examination room and took up residence at Marcus's side. She looked thoroughly embarrassed. "Have you ever thought of laying off the coffee, Susan? You're both lucky he has a damned thick skull." "Any permanent damage?" she asked. "No. He's got a black eye, a badly bruised shin, and a bruised tail bone. The good news, or maybe I should call it a miracle, is that you've come away with only a mild concussion. I putting him in your charge, Susan." "Alright. What do I do?" "You'll need to wake him every hour all night long. Check for excessive weakness, double vision, discharge of fluid or blood from the nose or ears, and altered levels of consciousness. Under any of those circumstances, give us a call immediately. But, we are talking about Marcus Man-of-Steel Cole. So I doubt you'll have any problems... well, keeping him off his feet, maybe." Marcus sat up slowly. His head throbbed slightly and his vision blurred momentarily. "Ranger training never prepared me for this," he mumbled. "Come on. Let's get you home and put some ice on that eye," said Susan in her most soothing mommy voice. "I'll even fix you some hot tea and some soup." "Take it easy for the next 48 hours, Marcus. And no buts. If I hear so much as a word about disobeying my orders, I'll have you hauled in here by your teeth and strapped down until I'm sure you're fine. Understood?" "Yes, sir," he grumbled. After cleaning the kitchen Susan walked into her bedroom to wake Marcus for his first hourly check up. She sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Marcus, wake up," she said in a soft yet firm voice. "Is it morning already?" he asked. Marcus slowly opened his eyes to look up at her. "No, radost' moja. I need to make sure you're alright, remember?" Susan gently caressed his cheek. "How do you feel?" "If I don't move, I almost feel normal. Damn but you hit hard," he said in a sleepy, pained voice. Marcus regretted saying it the instant the words left his mouth. Susan's face became a mask of guilt and sadness. "Try to go back to sleep. I'll check on you in an hour," she said in as steady a voice as she could manage. She then left the room, partially closing the door on her way out. Susan mechanically walked to the couch and sat down. She buried her face in her hands and sighed miserably. How could she have lost control so completely? How could she have done this to him... or her son? Dmitri had been in the room when she had called Delenn from MedLab and filled her in on the situation. When she and Marcus arrived at her quarters, the sad, accusing look in his eyes had stricken her to the core. Before Susan could continue berating herself a small, sad voice asked, "Mommy, why did you beat up Uncle Marcus?" She pulled him into her arms and held him tightly, trying in vain to stop the tears that ran down her face. "I'm sorry, lapochek. I'm sorry." "We all had a pretty miserable night. Poor Daddy would fall asleep and I'd wake him up after a little while. You were mad at me for hitting him. And I felt pretty guilty all around." "I'm sorry I made you feel badly, mom. Now that I'm more grown up, I know you didn't do it on purpose. When I was little, all I knew was that you hit him and hurt him pretty badly," confessed Dmitri, looking apologetically at Susan. "If I didn't pay for it by staying up all night, I certainly did the next day. Keeping my eyes open was a real chore. Before I went to work, Delenn came over to keep an eye on daddy. C&C was pretty quiet when I walked in..." John stood at Susan's station looking out at the stars when she reported for duty. Much to her relief everything appeared to be well under control for a change. Susan felt the eyes of every one in C&C on her as she crossed the deck. As Susan approached him, he turned and scrutinized her. "Commander, you look like Hell," he said conversationally. "Good morning, Commander. How are you today?" she asked, imitating his usual morning banter. "Fine, sir. And you? That's how a normal first-thing-in-the- morning chat is supposed to go. Of course I look like Hell." Susan carefully kept her tone for his ears only. "How's Marcus?" "All things considered, he's alright. Cranky as a mad Zarg. But I'd be cranky too, if someone got me up every hour all night long." "Did you get any sleep?" he asked quietly. "No. Dmitri was up all night wondering why I beat up Uncle Marcus. What little sleep he did get was interrupted by nightmares. Stephen's right. I need to lay off the coffee." "Or start taking it IV on a continuous basis. Listen, we don't have anything coming in until this afternoon. Why don't you go back home and catch some shut eye? If anything comes up, I'll give a yell." He turned back to the starscape before he added, "I know what you're going to say, Commander. So, I'll go ahead and make that an order." Twenty minutes later Susan walked into her quarters to find Delenn sitting alone in the livingroom. She walked to her bedroom and peaked in. Dmitri had snuggled in beside Marcus and both were sleeping quite peacefully. When Susan sat down on the couch and let her head drop back to rest against the wall, Delenn finally put down her book. "John sent you home for the day," she stated. "He said he'd call if anything needed my attention, but I have the feeling that he just said that to get me to agree. When did Mitya finally fall asleep?" asked Susan. "He went in right after you left. Judging from his state of exhaustion, he probably fell asleep immediately." Delenn went to the kitchen and returned with a cup of tea. "Drink this. It will help you to relax." "Thank you." After several moments of silence she spoke again. "Oh, Delenn. I feel so awful. I could have killed him." Delenn sat beside Susan on the couch. "Listen to me. The Universe makes certain that we are in the right places at the right time so that It may teach us. The lessons can be painful and sometimes quite mysterious. Perhaps if you look back on what transpired you will discover what the Universe intended you to learn." "I've gone over it again and again. Why did he sneak up on me? Why did I lash out like that? Why did he have to fall over that damned bench? Why?" asked Susan miserably as she set the empty tea cup on the coffee table. "Perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you not to question everything that happens. Accept things as they come your way." Delenn stood up and gestured for Susan to do the same. "You should rest now." "I'll take the couch." "You will do no such thing. Go sleep in your own bed," commanded Delenn. "Marcus is the other half of your soul as you are his. I am not certain about Human culture, but in Minbari culture it is the ultimate act of trust to sleep in the presence of another. Let that trust heal you. Let it heal him." Susan retrieved her blue silk night gown and went into the head to change. When she returned she walked to the bedside and looked at the peaceful scene. Marcus was lying on his back near the center of the bed. Dmitri had snuggled between him and the wall and possessively clutched a handful of Marcus's shirt in one hand. As she carefully slipped under the covers Susan replayed Delenn's words of advice in her head over and over again. If the Universe was trying to teach her something, what was it? It certainly had been a painful lesson for all three of them, whatever it was. Perhaps Delenn was right. She did question anything and everything that presented itself. Maybe the Universe wanted her to learn to accept certain things without question. Before she finally fell asleep she gently nestled herself against Marcus and draped her arm across his chest. From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 15 Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 00:49:41 -0700 Thanks to all my beta readers (Susan B., Ruth K., Kathleen, and Ria). I couldn't do this without you! :) All comments are welcome. See part 1 for disclaimers. *****Part 15***** "Was that when I was born?" asked Tasha as she climbed back onto Susan's lap. "No, lapka, you were born about a year after Daddy and I got married. But I'm not quite there yet, okay?" "Okay, mommy." Dmitri got up and retrieved Susan's Russian poetry book from the bookshelf. "This is the book you read to Dad out of while he was recovering, isn't it?" "Yes." Susan took the book from him and traced the illuminated lettering on the cover. "I made him stay in bed for two full days. He agreed, but only if I read to him. And he wanted to hear more poetry." "When did Dad ask you to marry him?" asked Dmitri. "On July 22, 2264. Two weeks after I hit him, Marcus asked me to have dinner with him..." Marcus stood in front of the mirror trying to decide whether to button the top two shirt buttons or not. He had mentioned to Lyta that tonight was *the* night and she had dragged him, kicking and screaming, to the Zocalo to buy a new outfit. He ran his fingers through his hair, taking in his appearance one last time. He walked out to the livingroom where Lyta waited not so patiently for him. "Well, it's about time. You've got 10 minutes before you're supposed to pick her up." Lyta looked him up and down and gestured for him to turn around. "Hot damn, you look good! Quit fidgeting." "Sorry, I couldn't figure out whether to button all the way up or not." "You look too much like a scoundrel with it unbuttoned. Not that it isn't a good look for you. But you said you wanted to be a gentleman tonight." She stepped forward and fastened the buttons for him. "Do you have *it*?" Marcus reached into the pocket of his sport coat and nodded. "Yes." "Sounds like you're ready. Do you remember what Zack told you?" she inquired. Lyta walked to the cooler, pulled out a single red rose and handed it to him. "Yes, I've been over it all about a hundred times." "Get going. Good luck. Goodbye," she said as she pushed him out the door, noting with a touch of wry amusement that she had just kicked him out of his own quarters. Marcus could not remember having been so nervous about anything in his life. He pushed a stubborn lock of hair out of his eyes and took a deep breath. "Relax, you twitchy bastard," he mumbled as he stabbed the chime. When the door opened, he stepped inside. He stood quietly by the bookshelf and pretended to examine its contents. Susan walked out of the bedroom and nearly stopped dead. Only on very rare occasions had she seen him out of his Ranger garb and he looked absolutely delicious. He wore black slacks and a matching jacket and under the jacket she could see just a hint of a deep green silk shirt. Feeling her eyes upon him, Marcus turned to face her. She looked absolutely lovely. She wore a long blue-black skirt with a matching blouse. Her hair was piled loosely atop her head with only a few riotous curls hanging around her face. "Hello, love. You look beautiful." He handed her a dark red rose. She accepted the flower and lifted it to her nose, taking in the intoxicating scent. "Thank you." He offered his arm. "My lady, dinner awaits us." Susan took his arm and allowed him to lead her out the door. Dinner had been spectacular. Now, as they drank coffee, hands clasped between them on the table, they shared stories of childhood mischief. "What's the worst thing you did as a child?" asked Susan curiously. "When I was four years old I decided to find out if the tile floor in the kitchen was prone to fire." "What did you do?" she asked in amusement. "Mum used this cleaning agent on the floor that had a picture of fire on the side. Later I learnt that indicated it was flammable, as a child, however, I just thought it meant you were supposed to burn it. So I poured out a healthy amount of this stuff all over the kitchen floor, struck a match and, well, it burnt really well." "Oh, you must have been in a world of trouble." Marcus nodded. "And it took forever for my eyebrows to grow back. What about you? What trouble did you get into?" Susan grinned at him. "I was about four years old also. My brother, Ganya, had a cat that loved to play in water. We used to fill the sink and he would jump in and splash around. He was very cute. So, one day, I thought maybe I'd help him out and well... sort of flushed him down the head. He was too big to actually get sucked in, but his butt got stuck. All you could hear was this poor cat howling because he couldn't get out of the toilet." "Susan! How terrible!" "I know. Poor cat. It took my father an hour to pull him out. Boy was he mad." "The cat or your father?" "Yes. Ganya didn't talk to me for a week he was so upset. And the cat was never quite the same after that. For some funny reason he never wanted to play in water again. I can't imagine why not." "What about in school or at the academy? Did you pull pranks of any kind on your classmates?" "In school I was pretty quiet. We moved around a lot and I never had much of a chance to make friends. But at the academy... well, that's another story. We had this dead fish who taught physics. This guy's voice could have put even the most attentive student to sleep. So one day, to liven things up, a group of us rigged his chair to explode as soon as he sat in it. He couldn't sit for a week after that." "Remind me not to drone on in a monotone," said Marcus teasingly. He waved the waiter over and handed him a credit chit. Marcus suddenly felt panic seize him. The moment he had built the evening around was close at hand. After taking a deep breath, Marcus stood and held his hand out to her. In a tentative voice he asked, "My lady, would you care to join me for a walk?" "I'd be delighted," she said. Susan and Marcus slowly walked through the corridors in amiable silence holding hands. Their wandering eventually brought them to the Zen Garden. Susan had not been here since their little accident. She looked at the bench he had fallen over and turned to face him. "I never really apologised for pummeling you." "There was no need. Your actions spoke volumes, love. No one other than my mum ever read to me before." He put his arms around her and looked into her eyes. "I shouldn't have startled you." Susan rested her hands on his chest and played with the buttons. "Does this mean you forgive me?" "There's nothing to forgive, Susan." He kissed her forehead and held her gently. "Marcus, this is kind of a public place. And..." "It's very late and nobody is about. Besides, I want everyone in the Universe to know that I love you." He stepped back slightly, took her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm before he knelt in front of her. His eyes caught and held her gaze. Susan's heart raced when she realised what was happening. "You've been dear to my heart for a long time, Susan. And I've considered you and Dmitri to be my family these past three years. Our souls are entwined in the fabric of the Universe." Marcus took a deep breath and pulled the small box out of his pocket. "Will you marry me?" Susan's eyes filled with tears as she looked down at the man she loved. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." "Daddy kissed me for the first time that night," said Susan softly. "Oh no. Not kissing again," groaned Dmitri. "You promised." Susan bit her lip to keep from laughing. After a moment she picked up her glass and sipped at her drink. "Once Daddy and I agreed what kind of ceremony to have and when to have it, I asked Aunt Delenn and Aunt Lyta to help organise it." "Aunt Lyta was pregnant with Brendan and Brynna when you got married, right?" asked Dmitri. "Yes, she was." Susan suppressed a laugh. "I'll never forget the day you made that discovery... she was about five months pregnant at the time. I very nearly died of embarrassment." "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I didn't know." "I know you didn't. You, Daddy and I were watching a vid together when..." Susan sat contentedly on the couch watching a children's vid with Marcus and Dmitri. Marcus had his arm draped across her shoulders and was twining her hair in his fingers. Dmitri had stretched out and rested his head in her lap. She absently played with the gorgeous engagement ring and thought back to the night before when Marcus had gotten down on his knee and asked for her hand in marriage. "Penny for your thoughts," said Marcus softly. Susan rested her head on his shoulder and sighed happily. "When I was a little girl I used to dream about meeting a fairy tale prince. He would ride into the kingdom on a white horse and fight nobly to curry my favour. Then he would sweep me off my feet and we would get married and live happily ever after. You don't have a white horse, but you do have a White Star and you've fought for, and beside, me more times than I can count." "And the last part?" he inquired curiously. "My feet haven't touched the ground since you rode in, Marcus." Susan smiled brightly. "Careful or this might start going to my head," he told her before placing a tender kiss on her temple. "Would you be terribly opposed to having a handfasting ceremony?" "As in medieval European 366 day trial marriage... your hand tied to mine?" "No, as in medieval European marriage. There's no trial run with me, Susan. I'm yours forever." His eyes lit up and he smiled. "We could incorporate elements of a traditional Jewish wedding... maybe the candle lighting... I don't know what yet... make it a true blending of our beliefs and lives." She reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his. "A Jewish handfasting? I couldn't think of anything more suitable for us, radost' moja. But we might have a hard time finding someone to officiate." "Have you got anyone in mind, love?" he asked curiously. "No. But I have a feeling that you do." "Actually, yes. His name is Tomos Davies. He's one of my fellow Rangers. The man's absolutely brilliant with words. And just happens to be a minister," said Marcus. "Unless you'd like to ask someone else...?" "No, no... that's fine. As long as you're part of my life, Marcus Cole, I'm happy." Susan put a shielding hand over Dmitri's eyes and kissed Marcus. The door chimed. "Isn't that typical? Who is it?" called Susan. "It's Lyta." "I knew she'd come by. She took me shopping yesterday for the outfit. Come in," he called. Lyta walked in and looked from Marcus to Susan. "Hi guys." "Hi. Come on in, sit with us," said Susan. "Well?" asked Lyta. "Well, what?" countered Susan with amusement. "You know." Susan laughed before answering. "We're getting married." "Hallelujah!! It's damn about time. So, when's the big day?" asked Lyta. "New Year's Eve," said Marcus, pulling a day out of thin air. Susan looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing. "Congratulations. I hope you're both very happy." After studying Lyta for several minutes Dmitri got up and walked over to her. "Aunt Lyta, are you getting fat?" Marcus choked on his laughter after getting elbowed in the ribs by Susan, who simply wished the couch would have mercy and swallow her. Lyta chuckled as she pulled Dmitri into her lap. "No, pumpkin, I'm pregnant," she said. "What's pregnant?" "It means I'm going to have a baby. Well, actually two." Dmitri touched Lyta's abdomen and looked at her in wonder. "Will I get to play with them?" "Of course, Mitya," said Lyta. "Twins," said Susan sympathetically. "I hope Zack knows how to give good back rubs. You'll need them. When are you due?" "November 30. I was wondering if you'd mind going shopping with me, Susan. You've done the pre-mommy shopping and know what kinds of things to get." Susan looked guiltily at Marcus. "Go on, love. Mitya and I will find something to do. Lyta is a fashion coordinator extraordinaire. Maybe you could look into a dress for the wedding," he suggested, winking at Lyta. Susan kissed him. "Let's go kidnap Delenn. She loves to go shopping. Besides, I can't wait to tell her!" From: Sjena Subject: Blessings, Part 16 Date: Tue, 07 Apr 1998 22:29:10 -0600 Hi all, Sorry it's taken me so long to get this out... the last couple of weeks have been really hectic. I want to thank all of my beta readers (Susan B, Ruth K, Kaki, Ria, Alta B, Claire D, and Julie B)... I couldn't do this without you!!! If you're missing any parts, you can get them from my website (http://www.nmia.com/~sjena) or email me and I'd be happy to send them to you. :) Miki See part 1 for disclaimers. *****Part 16***** "A week after Daddy asked me to marry him I met Tomos for the first time." "He was funny. I like Tomos," said Dmitri. Susan ruffled his hair and smiled. "He's just like Daddy in that respect... always making jokes about everything." "Mommy, when's the wedding part?" asked Tasha impatiently. "Soon, milaya," assured Susan. She kissed her daughter's forehead before gently relocating her to the couch. "I had a day off and decided that I was going to start planning the wedding. About two hours before Delenn and Lyta came to take me shopping, Daddy came over..." Susan sat with Dmitri cradled in her lap as she read the latest batch of reconnaissance reports. He snuggled against her contentedly. When the door chime sounded the peaceful atmosphere was shattered. Dmitri jumped to his feet and ran to the door. "Who is it?" he asked in his most official voice. "Uncle Marcus." Dmitri released the door and looked up at him curiously. "You don't have to ring the door chime, Uncle Marcus. Mommy gived you the pass code, remember?" "She gave it to me. But I've got my arms full, munchkin," said Marcus as he walked in skillfully balancing several books, two boxes and a bag. "Grab the bag, okay?" Dmitri took the bag from him and carried it to the coffee table. Susan smiled at him as she tossed the report to the top of the pile. "What's all this?" she asked. "Here we have a couple of books I've been looking through to get some ideas about the ceremony. Here are some more of those cherry vareniki you fancied. Here are some scones. And that, well, that's for Mitya. Go ahead and open it," said Marcus with a smile. Once again seated on the couch, Dmitri opened the paper bag and peered inside. His face lit up with delight as he pulled out the largest apple turn over Susan had ever seen. "Thanks, Uncle Marcus!" "Why don't you take it out to the kitchen and eat it at the table?" suggested Susan. After Dmitri disappeared into the kitchen Marcus sat down and kissed her. "I thought I'd come take your mind off all these reports for a while. Maybe talk about our plans for the next couple of months." Marcus put an arm around her as she picked up a vareniki and leant against him. "Did you get any ideas from the books?" she asked. "Not a one, but..." Before he finished his sentence, the door chimed. "Come in," called Susan after putting down the pastry. The door opened revealing a tall man in Ranger uniform. He stepped inside and bowed to the seated couple. "Good day, Marcus, Commander Ivanova," said the Ranger in a lilting voice. "Bore da. Sut rydych chi heddiw?" asked Marcus as he stood and bowed. "Bora da. Go dda. Sut mae?" "Eitha da, diolch," said Marcus. "Susan, I'd like you to meet Tomos Davies. Tomos, this is Susan Ivanova. He and I trained on Minbar together." Susan stood up and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you. Please, sit with us." Tomos sat in one of the free chairs as Susan and Marcus reclaimed the couch. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Commander. Marcus has told me so much about you." Tomos smiled warmly at them. "Congratulations on your engagement. It's about time someone straightened him out." "Thank you," she said. "But I think there's still some debate as to who is being straightened out by whom. And please call me Susan." "Alright, Susan. I'm sorry to drop by unexpectedly like this. Since I had an hour free, I thought I'd see if both of you were available to discuss wedding plans." Tomos looked from Susan to Marcus. "I'm free. And, unless the plans changed..." "No. Lyta and Delenn aren't expecting me for a couple of hours yet. We're all yours," said Susan, smiling happily. "Why don't I make us a spot of tea and then we can get down to it?" suggested Marcus. After almost an hour of discussing various traditions and ceremonies, Susan finally put up her hands. "Mama said that her two favourite parts of her wedding were the candle lighting and the glass breaking. I want to honour that memory. Why don't we just go with that?" "So," said Tomos, " basically what we've got is a procession of the honour guard in which each member carries a lit candle... somewhat reminiscent of the candle lighting in a Jewish ceremony, then a modified handfasting, and, to finish, the glass breaking." "Yes," said Susan. "But we'll break the glass at the reception instead of after the pronouncement." "Right then. What would you like to have read as you walk down the aisle?" asked Marcus. "I think I'd like to ask Brother Theo if the monks could sing a Russian chant." "That's not Jewish," stated Tomos. "I know." She smiled as a childhood memory came to her mind. "When I was a child in St. Petersburg my class visited a small church in the countryside. A group of monks chanted for us and I've loved Orthodox chant ever since." "Well, that settles it then. Was there anything else you wanted to include?" "Nothing I can think of," said Marcus. "You?" "That's it." "I must be going then. My ship leaves in a couple of hours and I have a few last minute preparations I need to make." Tomos stood up. "I'll get cracking on writing the ceremony." Marcus and Susan stood and walked him to the door. "Thank you for coming, Tomos," said Marcus, bowing to his friend. Tomos bowed first to Marcus, then to Susan. "The pleasure was mine." "Daddy and I got married on New Year's Eve 2264," said Susan happily. "I was a complete wreck at least a week before the wedding." "Did you dress up, Mommy?" asked Tasha. "I did. Picking out a dress was really hard. Aunt Lyta, Aunt Delenn and I couldn't find anything that was just right. Then Daddy suggested that instead of a traditional wedding dress maybe something Minbari would be what I was looking for. And you know what?" she asked. "What, Mommy?" asked Tasha. "He was right. Uncle Lennier volunteered to help design the dresses that Aunt Delenn, Aunt Lyta and I wore." "Uncle John and Uncle Lennier helped Dad get ready, right?" "Yes." Susan laughed. "I don't think he could have been any more nervous if someone lit a fire under him." Dmitri put his arm around Susan and hugged her. "I'm glad you and Dad got married." "Me, too, lapochek." Susan kissed his forehead and then Tasha's. "Uncle Zack ran between here and Daddy's old quarters bringing last minute things and making sure that both of us got something to eat. Lt. Corwin was an angel. He came over to watch you, David and the twins. Aunt Delenn and Aunt Lyta were getting me ready..." Susan's quarters were in an absolute uproar. Lt. Corwin paced in the livingroom with a baby in each arm, bouncing them gently. It was the only way he had found to keep them quiet short of handing them to Lyta, which simply was not an option. Dmitri and David sat on the couch playing as quietly as possible. Susan sat nervously in one of the kitchen chairs with Lyta doing her hair and Delenn doing her nails. "Did the flowers make it?" asked Susan in a not quite steady voice. "Yes," said Lyta. "Zack oversaw the delivery this morning. Everything's under control." "John and Lennier are getting Marcus ready. He is even more nervous than you are," Delenn told Susan, hoping to calm her a little. "Thanks, I think." "Relax, Susan. I'm almost done with your hair. Then we can get started on your makeup," said Lyta, admiring her handiwork. "There, that ought to do it." "Delenn, would you please hand me that mirror?" requested Susan. "Oh no. Not until we're all done. An artist's work is never revealed until it's finished," scolded Lyta in a gentle voice. "She is right, Susan. It would be bad luck," added Delenn. "Mommy, when is Uncle Marcus... uhm... when is Daddy coming to live with us?" Dmitri asked before Susan had a chance to protest. "He'll be moving in soon, lapochek," replied Susan. "And why can't he stay with me in my room? It's almost as big as yours. And I have two beds instead of just one." All the colour drained from Susan's face. Three and a half year old logic was going to be her undoing. She did not want to have to explain the birds and the bees to her son just yet. Lyta gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and said, "Because mommy and daddy are supposed to share a room, pumpkin. You'll understand when you're older." "But why, Aunt Lyta?" "Permit me," offered Delenn. She carefully put Susan's hands on the table and went to sit on the couch between the boys. She put an arm around each of them. "When a man and a woman, like Uncle Marcus and your mother, fall in love, they get married. Part of marriage is sharing. You share happiness and sadness, hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares. Uncle Marcus is the other half of your mother's soul. As she is his. That is why they will share a room and a bed. Not because they are mother and father. But because they are soul mates." "Aunt Delenn, is Uncle John your soul mate?" "Oh yes. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that there was something very special about him." "Okay, mommy. He can stay with you most of the time," conceded Dmitri. Lyta stifled a laugh "If you don't stop blushing, your make up isn't going to look right," she whispered to Susan. The door chime rang. Lt. Corwin walked to the door and nailed the release with his elbow. Zack stood in the doorway carrying a covered plate in one hand, a huge bouquet of Idrian Fire Lilies in the other, and an envelope under his chin. "Why don't you come in and put that stuff down. For Heaven's sake, Zack, you look like a pack horse," said Lyta in a teasing voice. "Love you too, honey," he said with a smile that took any sting out of the tone. He put the plate on the table and handed Susan the flowers and the envelope. "Complements of your husband-to-be and Dr. Franklin. The doc wants me to make sure you clean your plate. Said something about not wanting to haul you into MedLab for passing out on your way down the aisle." "Thank you," she said, rolling her eyes slightly. She handed the flowers to Lyta and then carefully opened the envelope, extracted the card and read it. Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love. (Hamlet, Act II, Scene II) I love you! Marcus Susan picked up the flowers buried her face in them to hide the tears that filled her eyes. Lyta and Delenn smiled sympathetically. The pre-wedding emotional roller- coaster ride was in full swing. Lt. Corwin and Zack looked distinctly uncomfortable and shuffled their feet nervously. "Here, Susan," said Lyta handing her a tissue. She then took the lid off the plate Zack had set on the table. "Honey, why don't you and Lt. Corwin take Dmitri and David to the gardens?" "Yes, ma'am," said Zack as he kissed Lyta. Then he whispered, "Were you... um... this emotional on our wedding day?" "No, darling. I was much worse. I'm surprised I made it down the aisle with mascara on," she told him. "Don't worry. It's normal. Delenn did it too." Delenn and Lyta relieved Lt. Corwin of the twins and watched as the two men and two boys made their escape. Once both babies were settled comfortably in the portable crib, Lyta and Delenn returned to Susan's side. She had dried the tears, but her eyes still looked misty. "Try to eat a bit of the fruit and cheese Stephen sent over. You'll feel a bit less shaky, I promise," said Lyta as she gently fixed Susan's eyeliner. Forty five minutes later Susan stood in front of her full-length mirror. The dress was gorgeous. It was similar in style to those Delenn wore, but was longer and fuller. The underdress was a satiny light blue with a darker blue trim and the overdress was off-white with a light blue swirl pattern. Susan's thoughts drifted from the present to the past... her mother, her brother, her father, Michael Garibaldi. Michael. She thought back on the time they had spent together. They had both been on the verge of falling into a dark, bottomless abyss. They anchored each other to the precarious ledge the Universe had dropped them onto. And just as they managed to pull themselves back onto solid ground, the abyss reached out and snatched him away from her. And then the Universe had given her another chance at happiness. It gave her Dmitri. It gave her Marcus. "Oh Michael. I miss you so much," she whispered softly. "I'm getting married today. Please don't think badly of me for it. He loves Dmitri and me very much. And I love him too." And if she closed her eyes and listened carefully, she could hear Michael's voice whisper, "I love you, Suzotchka. Be happy. Marry him." Lyta and Delenn had changed already and waited in the livingroom for Susan. Lyta felt Susan's emotions and sensed she needed time alone to sort through them. When Susan finally came out of the bedroom, none of the earlier turmoil Lyta sensed was there. "Oh, Susan, you look gorgeous," said Lyta. She walked over and pinned back one of the curls that had come loose. "You'll be the talk of the station." "How much longer before we have to leave?" Susan asked nervously. "One half hour. Zack took the boys to see Marcus. They will go to the Observation Dome from there," said Delenn. "Lt. Corwin will be back in 20 minutes to watch Brendan and Brynna." "That leaves the three of us to fend for ourselves," said Lyta as she skillfully put her own hair up. "How're you feeling?" "Better. You're right, eating helped." Susan held out her hands which shook a little. "That's not going to get any better, but I think I can live with it." "Delenn and I have some last minute additions to your attire," said Lyta as she guided Susan to a chair and motioned her to sit. "I did some research on Earth marriage customs and found an interesting tradition. You must wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue." "So, here is something old," said Lyta as she took a small box off the table. She opened it, revealing a pearl studded hair comb. She picked it up and very carefully slipped it into Susan's hair. "It belonged to my grandmother." Delenn opened a small pouch and pulled out a small gold chain with a very delicate Star of David hanging off it. She put it around Susan's neck and fastened it. "Something new." "You... I..." started Susan. Her vision blurred through the tears. She reached up and touched the necklace. "We're not quite finished yet," said Lyta. She took Susan's hand in hers. Delenn reached to the front of her dress and removed the ever present broach. She cautiously fastened it over Susan's heart and said, "something borrowed." "And something blue," said Lyta mischievously as she slipped something into Susan's hand. In her hand Susan saw a bright blue garter. Susan buried her face in her hands and laughed. "Oh Bozhe! You're finally getting even with me." "Well, put it on already," said Lyta. "Lt. Corwin will be here any minute. We wouldn't want him to see you in a compromising position or anything." Susan took her shoe off and slipped the garter up her right leg. She straightened her dress, put her shoe back on and stood up. "Do I pass muster?" "Absolutely!" said Delenn. "You look beautiful." "I want to thank you both for everything. It's wonderful to have dear friends to share this with." Susan hugged each of them. "That's what friends are for, Susan," said Lyta as she opened the door to let Corwin in before he had a chance to ring the chime. "Wow! You look... wow!" Corwin closed his mouth and fought the impulse to stare. "Thank you, David." Susan kissed his cheek. "And thank you for watching the twins. It's very sweet of you." "My pleasure. Congratulations, Commander," said Corwin, a slight blush creeping up to his ears. "I don't mean to rush you, but the honour guard is waiting outside," said Lyta. "Time to go." "We had a very busy morning," remembered Susan fondly. "But it was worth all the work. Daddy looked very handsome in his ceremonial Ranger robes. That was one of only two times I've seen him wear them." "Why, Mommy?" asked Tasha. "Because they're only for very special occasions, lapochka." Susan eased Tasha out of her lap. She walked to the bookshelf and pulled down a wedding picture in which she leant against Marcus whose arms were clasped loosely around her waist. "One of the Rangers who escorted us to the Dome took the pictures before the ceremony. We had a wonderful time posing." Susan sat down and let the children look at the picture. "You look like a princess, Mommy," said Tasha in awe. "Just like in the book about Tsarevna Krasna." "It felt a lot like being in a fairy tale... or a dream. John walked down the aisle with me..." Every Ranger on the station, most of the Star Fury pilots, and most of the C&C crew stood watching the honour guard file into the Dome and line both sides of the aisle. Each held a white candle. Zack and Lyta slowly walked toward the altar and stood on either side of Tomos. Then Delenn and Lennier followed suit. Dmitri and David walked hand in hand to the altar, each carrying a cushion with a ring on it. "You ready?" asked John. At Susan's nod they started walking down the aisle. A group of Brother Theo's monks stood against the walls of the room holding candles. As John and Susan appeared in the doorway, the monks began singing a hauntingly beautiful Russian chant. She felt her stomach tighten as they approached the altar. This was it. This was her last moment as a single woman. Any second thoughts she had were dispelled as soon as she glanced at Marcus, who looked lovingly at her. John kissed her cheek before walking to his seat. Delenn and Lyta stood beside her and Zack and Lennier stood with Marcus. "Welcome dear friends. We are here today to witness a blessed event... the marriage of Marcus Alexander Cole and Susan Andreevna Ivanova. Should anyone object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace," said Tomos. He looked around the room, noting that no one objected. He smiled at Susan and Marcus. "Please face one another. Join your right hands and then your left." They joined hands, making the symbol of infinity. Tomos lifted a white ribbon with blue swirls embroidered on it from the altar and held it for all to see. He gestured for Lyta and Zack to take the ribbon and looked on as they tied Marcus and Susan's hands together. "Above you are the stars and below you the ground. As time does pass remember that like a star should you be constant and like the ground should your love be firm. You may recite your vows," said Tomos nodding at Susan. "Marcus, you have embraced all aspects of my nature," said Susan in a soft, steady voice. Tears filled her eyes as she continued. "You love me completely for both my strengths and weaknesses. You have given me the courage and faith to trust you, to let you love me as an entire person. You have allowed me to embrace all aspects of your nature. You have let me love you completely, for both your strengths and weaknesses. You have shown courage and faith in me, to trust me to love you as an entire person. I, Susan, take you, Marcus, just as you are, and however you may change, above all others, to share my life." Marcus smiled at Susan and gently squeezed her hands before he spoke. "Susan, you have embraced all aspects of my nature. You love me completely for both my strengths and weaknesses. You have given me the courage and faith to trust you, to let you love me as an entire person. You have allowed me to embrace all aspects of your nature. You have let me love you completely, for both your strengths and weaknesses. You have shown courage and faith in me, to trust me to love you as an entire person. I, Marcus, take you, Susan, just as you are, and however you may change, above all others, to share my life." Together they spoke as they gazed into each other's eyes. "Love and honor us. Together we are life and death, darkness and light, joy and sorrow, order and chaos. We are summer and winter, spring and fall. We are growth and decay, youth and age, night and day. Wherever one of us walks, the other will be not far behind. This is the way of things." Delenn and Lennier stepped forward and unbound their hands, returning the ribbon to Tomos. He folded the ribbon and held it cradled in his hands. "Do you have the rings?" he asked. Dmitri and David stepped forward and each placed a ring on the ribbon. "Bless these rings, that those who wear them, that give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, and live and grow old together in love," said Tomos, indicating that Marcus should take the ring. "With this ring I thee wed. And with my body I thee honor. And with all my worldly goods I thee endow," he said as he gently put the ring on her finger. Tomos then nodded to Susan to take the other ring. "With this ring I thee wed. And with my body I thee honor. And with all my worldly goods I thee endow," Susan said as she slipped the ring on his finger. "Forasmuch as Marcus and Susan have consented together in marriage, and have witnessed the same before this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they are husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," said Tomos. Marcus gently cupped Susan's cheek before kissing her tenderly. Delenn took a broom from one of the Rangers and Zack took a sword. They knelt down before Susan and Marcus and held sword and broom crossed just above the ground. The guests cheered and applauded as the couple turned, jumped across the obstacle and walked back down the aisle.