From st7ci@Jetson.UH.EDU Thu May 9 20:22:00 1996 Date: Fri, 03 May 1996 06:16:59 -0600 From: Wendy Dale Reply-To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com Subject: Delenn's Gethsemane This a very short story. Well... it's a scene really. It is something that kept going around in my head. I hope this doesn't happen. So if I write it, maybe it won't. Ironically, I despise tragedy. This takes place in, what some are starting to call, the inevitable future of my favorite character. I hope that's not the case. This would happen at the end of the 3rd season, or any time after that. Oh, this is a bit sappy, so don't read it if you don't like sappy. This is a weird combination between sappy and tragedy. OK! OK! I'll shut up. Here it is! This might have a bit of spoils for people who haven't gotten to see Severed Dreams. So beware. I warned ya. -------------------------- "Delenn's Gethsemane" "They are coming for you." Lennier was obviously nervous as he swept into Babylon station's observation room. She was standing there, small against the window, as she looked out at the turning abyss. He paced back and forth, revealing his agitation, his worry. They were coming for her. And she wouldn't stop them, would not even try to escape, wouldn't let him protect her. "You will not harm them, Lennier." "But.." "I do what I must!" She turned to face him. Her face was a composed mask... the face of a Satai. Lennier bowed his head instinctively, if unwillingly. He knew it was necessary. All was at stake. But he loved her. And they were coming to destroy her. "I knew this day would come. I knew the price of this task." she said in a quite voice. She looked over at him with compassion, as she always looked at him. "It is a small price." Tears were beginning to well in his eyes. "But, they will hurt you... They could even... How can...?" He was trying so desperately not to question... only to obey. These moments were the reasons behind his training. He balled his hands into fists. "NO OTHER Minbari must be blamed for this. It cannot go beyond me. Too much is at stake. Billions of lives. The Humans *are* our other half. For a thousand years we have waited for them. We need them, Lennier. Just as they need Minbari. We must not let the darkness separate us." She walked up to him and looked strait into his eyes. He saw quiet, the peace of resolution. She smiled and slowly took his hands, unclenching them. Lennier couldn't speak. She said... "I'm not afraid." She brought a hand up to touch his face, softly smoothing away the tears. His eyes merely welled with more. "You must go now, Lennier. And tell no one what will happen. What I do, I must do alone." Lennier took a breath and looked down. Slowly, reverently, he placed his hands together and bowed low. He turned and silently left the room. Delenn slowly walked back to the window. She stood and stared at the stars, and waited... to sacrifice herself... She had sent a message to all of them - Susan, Michael, Stephen, Marcus... John - and told them she was here. They all knew by now of what she had done. Of that, she was certain. ISN, now being controlled by Clark's propaganda machine, had made certain that the knowledge of her duplicity was thoroughly broadcast for all to see. That was twenty-four hours ago. An eternity ago... She would never forget that walk back to her quarters... a walk from light into utter darkness. It had been quiet that morning. She had just left John's home. *When had this become our home?* They had spent their first night together. Delenn had grown weary of waiting for the correct moment. And - finally - so had John. She could smile, even now, with the emotion that recent memory brought her. *How prideful, how arrogant, I was in thinking only Minbari are capable of truly understanding emotion.* John had loved her with a reverence that shocked her. She remembered one particular moment... She must have frowned because John had suddenly stopped and asked her, "Did I do something wrong?" "No... How... how do you know to do this?" she had asked, quite convinced he had studied the rituals. He shrugged and smiled, "You tell me." Not understanding, she said, "How... when did I tell you?" He pulled her close and whispered, "Every time you smile." In sudden understanding, she smiled. Never again would she question if the Humans had the ability to join in soul. The borders between her soul and his were now infinitely blurred. And with that, so too was thought and emotion - the wonder, the sensations, the pleasure, the joy... the hurt... and the pain. The terrible terrible pain. She had woken up that morning with a smile. She hadn't woken happy in a great while. Nor had she anticipated sleeping so well in the horizontal. *Must be the human in me* she thought as she turned over *or the human with me* she smiled. But John had already left. On his pillow sat a rose with a slip of paper. She touched its velvet petals as she read the simple note, "Now how am I supposed to work? You have ruined me, my love. I will come to you tonight." She smiled again. Only half wondering, or caring, where he had gotten such a thing as a real red rose that early in the morning, she got up and began to dress. She had to get to her quarters. She needed a shower. She needed to prepare for him. As she walked down the corridor toward the lift, she very quickly began to sense something was wrong. It was coming from the few people who passed her. As she looked up to notice the early morning faces of the humans who passed her by, she recoiled in shock. It was hatred, complete hatred that stared back at her. This was blue sector, where the officers and various command crews slept. They all knew her. They had all smiled at her in acceptance and gratitude for saving them all. They had begun to see her as one of them. But... something had happened. They looked at her now with hatred. As she passed two standing near the lift, she over heard the woman speak in a loud whisper, "There she is!" "What is she doing here? I still can't believe she..." said the man standing next to the woman. "She did. It was right there on ISN, plain as day." As Delenn entered the lift, the woman raised her voice, making sure she was overheard. "SHE was the one who lead the Minbari in the last war! SHE ordered the war that killed 250,000 of us!" The door closed slowly to those words as Delenn stood frozen with realization. They knew. The Humans knew what she had done. "In Valen's name, not now." she whispered. "Not now." She stood there for an entire minute before she realized she wasn't moving. "Green sector." As the lift began to move, she began to think of John. *He will find out in the worst way.* Why didn't she tell him sooner? This will jeopardize everything they have worked for. All because of her. Her fear... her fault.... *I have failed*. Those next 24 hours had been hell. The Minbari on the station had gotten word of the broadcast and were immediately on guard for her. Lennier had no small part in organizing that. They believed that someone from the warrior caste had given the information to ISN as a way to discredit her ever growing authority with the rest of Minbari as well as the Humans. It worked with the Humans. It did not with the Minbari. The Minbari on station had refused to speak of it. Lennier had proposed that they deny the accusation that Delenn was responsible, but she refused it. She would not allow any Minbari to lie to save her honor. By the end of the day, the humans were demanding she be taken by security. They were demanding justice - one way or another. Sheridan had not allowed that, stating he would not jeopardize the alliance by *demanding* anything of the Minbari. They were a fair people, he insisted. "They would do the right thing." He also pointed out that there cooperation during the secession saved all their lives. That reminder stopped the aggressive looks that were starting between the Minbari and Humans on the station. They were in this thing together, said the Captain, whether they liked it or not. On that day, they liked it not. John never once contacted her, nor did any of the humans she had begun to see as her family. Delenn didn't blame them. She had betrayed them - betrayed their trust. That evening she made a decision. She would turn herself over to the humans. No Minbari questioned her. No Minbari dare question the word of the chosen one. The next morning she sent a simple message to John, "I am guilty. I place myself in your hands. I will be in the observation room, alone." She also sent the message to the others - Susan, Michael, Stephen, Marcus... They had a right to know what she had done. They had a right to know the truth.... Now she stood waiting... As the slow foot steps sounded louder and louder behind her, the pain grew. ...the terrible terrible pain. The pain of the one coming to her. "In Valen's name, were these manacles, I would remove them." she whispered to the empty abyss in front of her. As the spinning stars began to blur, she slowly closed her eyes, letting silent tears finally fall. ------------------------- Wendy Dale st7ci@jetson.uh.edu From st7ci@Jetson.uh.edu Fri May 10 20:07:14 1996 Date: Tue, 07 May 1996 11:52:21 -0600 From: Wendy Dale Reply-To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com Subject: The Weight of Billions - Delenn's Gethsemane Pt.2 This is the next scene just after "Delenn's Gethsemane" A part two, if you will. WARNING: SPOILERS It's has spoilers for Interludes and Examinations. So don't read it until after you've seen that show. I'm going to show that ANY decision that is made will have terrible consequences. There's just no avoiding it. And I also think JMS is designing that way... "The Weight of Billions" ---------------------------------- The Captain of Babylon Station approached slowly, not sure of what he would find. His mind had stopped working an hour ago... when he got her message. A message that would turn all their lives upside-down. As he stood at the threshold of the observation room, suddenly, he was no longer Captain... He was, simply, John. With hopeless dread, he entered. Delenn stood facing the window, away from him. Her head was bent down. She was fiercely clutching her arms to her body, as if for warmth. With every cautious step John took toward her, she held herself tighter and tighter... turning ever inward. John stopped two steps behind her and waited. He said nothing. He barely drew breath. The silence was like bile. Delenn raised her head and opened her eyes to the stars. The abyss stared back. Slowly, she lowered her arms and turned to face him. She wouldn't look up to his face. Delenn was terrified of his eyes... of what she might see in them. Still he said nothing. Moments passed and still she would not, could not, look at him. As he watched in silence, her gaze descended... gone was the pride, the righteousness, the arrogance... her head and shoulders slowly bowed as if some great weight were being placed on them... The weight of billions. And in that single instant John knew that the Minbari had finally done what they had only done in name at the Battle of the Line... Today they had truly surrendered. That single instant revealed something else as well. Something infinitely more significant... That he loved this woman more than he loved himself, more than life itself. Nothing was going to take that away now. Even as he wished it weren't true, he knew it was unconditional. He would give up a thousand victories if it would take her pain away. That terrible pain was burning him. In that moment he would have done anything to give her back her pride, her arrogance, her righteousness. He also knew she would not let him do that. He did the only thing he could do. Slowly he brought a hand to her face, gently, silently telling her to look at him. Her stare glistened with the tears that were now flowing freely, the redness there turning green eyes to vivid emerald. She looked up and saw, not his face, but a mask... Then tenderly, through all the pain inside him, he smiled. All the emotion he'd been forced to hold inside for the past day came rushing forth in that single smile. In it was the worry, the questioning, the uncertainty, the pain... and the love. The overwhelming love he felt... for her. In sudden understanding, she smiled. Some how, some way... *He understands.* They came together quietly. They knew this fit already. It was easy for them now. As he enclosed her in his arms, he tucked her head underneath his chin. Slightly rubbing his cheek against her crest, he was surprised again by its softness. He closed his eyes tightly to everything but the sensation of holding her, protecting her. *I will not let them hurt you.* he thought fervently. Placing her hands upon his chest, Delenn pulled away suddenly. "NO John." His eyes posed the question before his voice. "I will NOT let you jeopardize what has been built here by standing behind me. You cannot. I will not let you." He was shaking his head, ready to dispute it. "John, have you forgotten Sebastian?.. what he taught us? We must be willing to sacrifice _everything_ if we are to save everyone. As much as I would wish otherwise, I will not let the humans *here* lose faith in you, because of your love for me." She was in earnest, ever mindful of the role she must play. Delenn was too far gone with it to stop now. John broke away in sudden anger. He turned away, clenching and unclenching his fists in his typical show of agitation. Seeing this, she said "Kosh told me..." "Forget Kosh!" Suddenly, he turned around and grabbed her upper arms. "Kosh is dead, Delenn. He is gone. Never again will we see his light. Should we hold a rebirth ceremony now, Delenn? Should we tell a few *secrets* to make ourselves feel better?" He pulled back, lessening his tight grip. "He sacrificed himself for us. And now, I suspect, you feel you must too." His eyes were welling. He let the tears fall. He let her go. "By all that I hold sacred, I will NOT let you do it." She said nothing. She did not have to. Because he was right. Right about her. "You are necessary, Delenn. Don't you see that? You are too important, despite what you believe. There is no other that could take your place." He took a deep breath, finding resolution. "There is a way out of this... a way for everyone to see the truth. A truth long over due. And... some how... I *will* find that way." He touched her face, running one hand down her cheek. He didn't know when he could be this close to her, or touch her, again. "I want you to leave. Go home to Minbar. I will explain your absence. I don't know how... yet. I'll think of something. I always do, I guess." She smiled and nodded. *Yes, you always do.* "Trust me?" *Trust him to find a way?* she thought with a smile. That was easy. "Always." she said simply. He smiled and pulled her close. Slowly, he brushed his lips to hers, then deepened it... knowing it was to be a precious memory for him in the months to come... months without her. He reluctantly pulled away. With one last look into each others eyes, he turned and left. She walked back to the window with its ever present points of light. As she listened to the foot steps getting quieter and quieter behind her, the pain lessened... They had given each other something. Something they had lost. The possibility... of hope. ---------------------------------- Wendy Dale st7ci@jetson.uh.edu -- Falling softly as the rain no footsteps ringing in your ears. Ragged down, worn to the skin, Warrior raging, have no fear Secure Yourself - Indigo Girls