From FLUFFER@prodigy.net Wed Dec 25 00:57:15 1996 Date: Fri, 29 Nov 1996 19:17:35 -0600 From: FLUFFER To: b5-creative@lists.best.com Subject: NEW: EPIC Poetry: Ivanova and Thanksgiving: HUMOR This is an attempt at light hearted humor. The formats all wrong, but hey, it's meant to be funny and provide convergence relaaf. I'm only going this far with it. I was *inspired* by my thanksgiving with my relatives. I mean.... I'm the only b-5 (well my 9y/o bro doesn't really count) fan in the house so I'm bouncing back in forth between commercials and the show: watching 404. My grandparents were a little curious as to why my parents tolerated this but hey... There old so who no... wait I do care but b5 takes precednec in family matters. If some one wishes to work more on this, please do....... It's been nagging at me to at least do somethin with it since wednesday when my granparents came over.... Laura Hale Fluffer@prodigy.net Demented teenager Extrodinare desguised as a Barking dog. Go vote for the b5 babe of the month at: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/3286 or visit my web page at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8948/home.htm I suggest you vote for jms. Nuf talk. Light hearted humor warning. Too many Ivanova's stuff Epic Poem: To many Ivanova's at Dinner This is an almost Epic Poem. I challenge any one to finish it. It is unfinished and will remain so.... It scares me so to continue. A Thanksgiving feast lay yet unprepared as four Ivanova's argued there. The turkey lay all nicely trimmed, the plastic wrap all nice and tight In hopes that one of the four.... would soon care to cook him nice and brown "Your views on cooking that bird are upsurd!" hollered Ivanova number 1 to number 2 "And I thought I was a pessimest" Stated number three to number four. Number four prowled the room in search of the canned cranberry sauce. The link did chime and (was that the turkey giving a squawkl?) four voices instantly humphed "Go away I'm not ready YET!" "but it's me, Marcus! May I come in?" "NO!" shouted four united voices. "Will-" said number 1 "Stop-" said number 2 "Doing-" spat number 3 "THAT!" Snapped number 4 *Hmph* said Marcus as he stalked off. Must be having a pretty bad day he thought "Fine. Fine." Said number one as she ripped off the plastic wrap. ...while number two dutifully shoved the cookie tray- under the massive bird. "Don't forget the stuffing." Mouthed number 3 "You look familiar" said number 4 Ivanova looked into the bird on the cookie tray. "Some one get out the dang giblets, before I hurl!" The other Ivanova's turned to stare... "No way!" "Not ME!" "I'm God you do it!" "Hmph" said the first one as she tossed the massive bird into the oven. "some one remove it later!" "Excuse me, I do have a name!" shouted 2 of the 4 This continued for quite a while while the cooking conitued in a similar style. Then what should chime?.?.?.?.?.? but the door. "Hello. I'm jms. People call me (uh... He thought) god he said. four heads swiviled in the direction of the door.... "hey" whispered one. "This guy might just make" said number "Marcus jealous" "and get the flea bag off my case." and then all four procurred evil grins..... "Come in" This is where I shall End. I get scared out of my witts ends. jms at dinner. {end?} From sfxbk8@scfn.thpl.lib.fl.us Thu Dec 26 12:55:26 1996 Date: Thu, 26 Dec 1996 11:13:29 -0500 (EST) From: Starfire To: b5-creative@lists.best.com Subject: 2 many ivanovas at dinner pt2 ============epic poem, 2 many ivanova's at dinner, pt2========== IF YOU LIKE PAIN, CONTINUE READING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. thread carried on by Jen McEllen 2 many was originally written by Laura Hale and it's on the archive i'm just following up disclaimed fully- none of it's mine, not the characters, no even the idea but I wrote it! by Jen McEllen ===========================poem======================= uh-huh, thought jms, suspicious and as if the four had read his mind, 1 said- "don't be paranoid . . . " coaxingly as she could and 2 said- "why are you here?" and 3 said- "just a moment, i have to call someone" and 3 went off to unlock the door and hang a large DO NOT ENTER sign, then invited marcus back- "hehehehe" meanwhile, 4 said- "we're having turkey, do sit down" and the evil grin was passed around and lo then the door chimed marcus came in. 3 went to the door 1 hid in the bathroom, just because she felt like it and 2 & 4 stood in front of jms "GO AWAY MARCUS CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE BUSY!" 3 shouted marcus grumbled and said- "who's in the kitchen?" and what could 3 do but reply- "people call him god" and 1 hiding in the bathroom muttered pessimistically- "well invite him in, 3" jms smelled a burning turkey and rose, saying- "about that turkey . . . " 2 & 4 howled- "SIT DOWN!!" then 1 smelled the turkey- "DAMN! *somebody* forgot to remove the giblets" and noticed that the oven was on fire well, i have to stop there because i couldn't think of anymore hahahaha! well, somebody go on . . . unless LH wants us to stop! ====================== a pessimist sees a glass half-empty of water an optimist sees a glass half-full of water this is what a cynic sees (now you know what i am): "what do you see?" "i see a glass with water in it." "is it half full or half empty?" "there's water in the glass and who the hell cares whether it's half full or empty?" of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most - a keychain From FLUFFER@prodigy.net Tue Jan 28 21:43:57 1997 Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 21:13:04 -0600 From: Teenager Hale To: b5-creative@lists.best.com Subject: ALTERNATIVE: 2 many Ivonva's at dinner: ALternative to part 2 Humor:2 many Ivanova's at dinner:Part Marcus gets ticked Whoops. There's a small season 4 spoiler in here. It is 27 lines into it. This is an addition to 2 many ivonva's at dinner. It is supposed to be funny. My suggestion is read the other two parts and joing the fun! Oh and remember jms is at dinner too. He dropped Susan on her head, and caused pain and agaony in many a heart.... so take it away, run with it. Slam jms for not taping the eps and mailing them to us.... that sorta thing... jms is god and I am but a humble servant. Join the fun! Note: I wrote this part prior to Part 2. I decided to post it just for fun. Hope you enjoy it. Humor: Epic Poetry: 2 many ivonova's at diiner: Part Marcus Gets ticked. Marcus was royal ticked off As he stormedout of his quarters "How dare she!" He hollered. "I love her and she tells me no? Her behaviors got to go!" He headed for the lift and opened the door. "Oh my Lord!" He practically shrieked As 4 coutn'em 4 Marcuses looked through the door. "Hey number 5, We've been waiting for you. We're off to see Ivanonva too." Number 5 could barely stutter "That's nice" He stepped into the lift and off they all went. When they arrived at the door, all prepared, (they had stopped at the garden to pick the four roses and had recieved a many aglare, a stare and faints from the human women) they stood. "What do we do now?" Said number 3. "Do we have a plan?" Said number 4. "I've saved myself for Sue, and now I don't know what to do." sated number 2. Number 5 just stared at the door, He knew what to do, but he doubted Susan can do it, unless she knew Minbari exercises too. Number one said. "We can smell her hair." 4 heads swiveled. 5 hearts beat at a rapid pace. "How the hell do we get in that door?" said all in unision. End Part Marcus gets ticked Feel free to join the fun! I am temporily One, another story to write, another battle to fight, Feel free to join the fun! Oh yea, my e-mail is fluffer@prodigy.netMy Name is Laura Hale