From julifolo@ux1.cso.uiuc.eduSat Jan 20 15:20:05 1996
Date: Wed, 17 Jan 1996 19:52:32 -0600 (CST)
From: watkins julia k <julifolo@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Reply to: b5-creative@blob.best.net
To: b5-creative@blob.best.net
Cc: watkins julia k <julifolo@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Subject: "The Hand" (poetry)

These stories and poems are getting weird geneologies. I posted
a nightmare and Alison wrote "Faith Manages?" as a response and
now I have a poem in response to Alison's poem. Tangled, tangled.

This is something that has been worrying me, and it will keep on
worrying me--I suppose--until it's answered and we get something new
to brood about. I have a quite specific worry about what will be the
greatest danger that John will face at Z'Ha'Dum.
   My worry is close to Alison's worry. When she sent me a copy of
"Faith Manages?" this tumbled out of my mind in response. I've got
the same--but not the same--nightmare of Delenn alone after Z'Ha'Dum.

And so, with a heavy bow of influence from Alison, is my take on
almost the same subject:

++++++++++++++++++++


	"The Hand"
		by Julie Watkins

Stand at the rail:
   Stars,
   and more stars.
What do we do now?

The hand ended
   ... in Fire.

You did not die easily
You did not die alone
You took the trap you knew they laid for you
You embraced it
   (Did you embrace her?
   The evil shade
   that once was your Anna?
   Was that where you went wrong?
   Was that when you forgot what we taught you,
   lost in your anger?)
You embraced the trap,
You pulled the enemy to you
You exposed its strength
   (So eager they were to have you)
And you struck and we struck
   (They did not see us waiting)
Into the heart.

You did the right thing
for the wrong reason.
Revenge.
And so you failed.

You should not have died.
You should have died and been reborn.
You should have released your weapon
   and lost yourself to the flame
   and the flame would have taken you to safety.
   The flame would have taken you
   back to my arms.
But you fought to see the enemy,
Fought to know its death,
   fought to know revenge.
You could not kill your hate
And so you died.
And so your hate remains--
   a haven for the shadows.

You were not prepared to die,
for you did not know you would die
No--
   (You knew you might die
   and if you died
   you did not care)
What you knew was revenge.
   (And are you satisfied?
   I pray not.
   If you are satisfied
   you are truely damned,
   and your soul is ever tainted.)

I could not love you strong enough--
Kosh could not teach you well enough--
At the end of time, will you be there--
or have I truely lost you?

The right people
in the right place
at the right time--

Even in your failure,
still there is hope.
   (There is always hope.)
You did not die easily
You did not die alone
You destroyed the heart
You killed the enemy--
Mostly.
Only shadows of Shadows remain--
of a strength that can be fought.

John:
You hurt the enemy far, far worse
Than the enemy hurt us.
Improvisation.
The Army of Light has lost its leader--
Yet though he died, another will take his place.
   And another
   and yet another

You cannot hurt us
You cannot harm us
We are not afraid.

==end==