From 101646.276@compuserve.com Sat Jun 15 13:57:18 1996 Date: 01 Jun 96 06:24:41 EDT From: Ruth King <101646.276@compuserve.com> Reply-To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com To: b5-creative@lists1.best.com Subject: Purple Haze Something in a lighter vein I scribbled whilst on holiday. Yes it is supposed to be funny (well it was after a couple of bottles of wine !) . I'm not sure if it comes under the "humor," or just plain "silly" category. Babylon 5 is copyright 1996 PTEN & Babylonian Productions. This story is not intended to infringe on these copyrights PURPLE HAZE By Ruth King (from an idea by Simon Burnett) " No !!," Susan Ivanova almost shouted. Then she counted to ten and regained a slender hold on her temper. " I am sorry Ambassador but my schedule doesn't allow me to attend your religious ceremony." The Drazi Ambassador looked at her blankly, " You Green Leader. Green victorious, Green Leader must attend." How many times would she have to say no before he understood ? " I can't. I should have been somewhere else ten minutes ago so if you'll excuse me." Muttering various oaths to herself Susan Ivanova left the council chambers. The expression on the Drazi's face did not alter as he activated his communicator. " She will not come of her own free will. Activate plan B," He hissed. ******************************************************************************** "Where's Susan ?" Dr. Franklin asked, taking a seat at the conference table. " She should be here," Sheridan replied, " Its not like her to be late," He raise his link to his mouth, " Sheridan to Commander Ivanova ?" Silence, " Sheridan to Ivanova ?" More silence., " Garibaldi ?" Garibaldi took his feet of the table and stood up, " I'll find her," He shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched out of the room. " How does he know where she is ?" Marcus Cole asked. In unison Franklin, Sheridan and Delenn shrugged. ******************************************************************************** Garibaldi seated himself at his desk and activated his computer, " Computer download Commander Ivanova's schedule for today." The list read; 0650 Alarm Call 0700 C+C 1200 Lunch, shopping NB buy new rubber gloves. AVOID MARCUS 1300 Alter Garibaldi's trousers so they won't zip when fastened. 1400 Meet Drazi Ambassador in Council Chambers 1500 Code 7R 1800 Off-duty 1830 Casino 1900 Dinner AVOID MARCUS 2000 Reset alarm call which Garibaldi will have changed Some people have no imagination ! 2030 Washing, ironing, clean toilet. 2100 Exercise 2200 Bed The Security Chief scanned the list, making careful note to plan a more subtle revenge tactic. He checked his watch, it was 1530. Her previous appointment had been with the Drazi Ambassador. " Computer cross check Drazi Ambassador's movements." " Booked Green 27." The computer replied. " That's a big room. Any Drazi festivals ? " " End of hostilities between Green and Purple Drazi." Garibaldi swore to himself . Who knew what the grand finale would be, more Drazi killing each other. Ivanova was Green Leader so she would be required to take part. Knowing the Drazi they would have employed fair means or foul to get her there. Garibaldi took the precaution of changing into his combat gear before charging off to Green 27. ********************************************************************************* He could hear the shouting from the Transport Tube. Clutching his heavy assault rifle tightly he crept down the corridor, back to the wall. The door was locked. With shaking hands Garibaldi took out his security pass. There was a scream, human and definitely female. Counting to three he burst into the room firing bolts of plasma into the ceiling. The inhabitants of the room looked at him blankly. There was silence. Something told him this wasn't a room where an innocent woman was being put to death. Streamers, food, drink, party hats. " Michael ! " Ivanova's voice came from the middle of the crowd. She pushed her way through to join him. " What's goin' on here ?" He asked out of the corner of his mouth. " Major ceremony I'm Green Leader, got to be here or the fighting starts again." " I realise that but ...." "Its a party, " She grinned," Come and join us, I was just about to teach them some Earth games." " Are you drunk ?" " Yes. Did I ever tell you that you look incredibly sexy in your flak jacket." " You're very drunk." " Too right. Live a little Michael, enjoy yourself. Try one of these." " What is it ?" " Bit like a biscuit, its got currants in the middle." " We're supposed to be in a meeting but I can't take you back in this state. I'll call Sheridan and tell him to postpone." " All right ! Lets party ! Do you know how to lambada ?" ********************************************************************************* * 0300 hours and two figure made their way through blue section. One was upright, the other was trying to be. She didn't seem to notice that the upright one was holding her vertical. She was singing, very loudly. He was sure that the lyrics weren't exactly clean but he didn't speak Russian. They were nearly at her quarters and no one had seen them yet, a fact for which he was extremely grateful. The gratitude drained out of his boots when he saw the cloaked figure approaching. That smug git was the last person he wanted to run into. " What happened ?" Marcus asked with some concern, " Is she drunk ?" " She's Green Leader, " Michael explained. " I don't understand." " Its a matter of interspecies relations." " Have you thought of shaving off your beard ?" Susan suddenly asked, " I might fancy you then." " You let her get into this state ?" Marcus accused Garibaldi. " Actually she's sobered up a bit. You should have been there for the strip poker." The Chief explained. " Is that why she's wearing your flak jacket ?" " We're going for a curry then back to my place, Want to come ? It'll be fun." Susan interrupted. " Its OK." Marcus backed away down the corridor. " Kebab then ?" " No ! I have to go and get my hair cut." " Oh," Susan sounded disappointed, " Looks like its just you and me dear.I wonder if we can find a traffic cone." ********************************************************************************* ** The meeting was held the following morning. Ivanova was pretty much out of it although she was a little worried about the strange looks that Marcus kept giving her and about the fact that he'd shaved off his beard. Afterwards she took the opportunity to speak to Garibaldi, " Michael, about last night ?" " What about it ?" " What actually happened ?" An evil look appeared in Garibaldi's eye, " Lets just say that I know where your tattoo is." " You do ?" " Yes you showed it to me before falling asleep on the couch." " That's a relief I thought..." " So did Marcus." " Actually that's not a bad thing." " Regarding your proposition." " What proposition ?" " I don't know what happened to Jeff's frictionless sheets." Shoving his hands in his pockets Garibaldi left the outraged Commander staring after him. ********************************************************************************* *********** OK yes its silly !