From: Alternate Universe Today Archivist Subject: Reflections and Reconstructions by Bar (barigirl@geocities.com) Date: Mon, 20 Jul 1998 09:04:42 -0700 name = Bari email = barigirl@geocities.com title = Reflections and Reconstructions warnings = Little to None story = Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Warner Bros. or Babylon Productions or TNT or whoever the hell they belong to. I am making no profit off of this endevor whatsoever, unless you count personal enjoyment. Spoliers: Up to the end of season 4 Reflections and Reconstructions By Bari "Babylon Five coming into close view, Captain," stated Commander Myers. The Captain took her eyes off the report in her hand and gazed at their destination. It was exactly as she had left it. The docking lights and rotating rings appeared to be working just the same. But deep in her heart, Captain Susan Ivanova knew things were not as she'd left them. The station was under another captain's reigns, the new Planetary Alliance was headed and based here. Some of the people she'd served with were still here, eking out a living from the docking fees and levy taxes. But one thing stayed innumerably the same, a man she'd known, served with, and even started to love, was being kept in cryofreeze for safekeeping. Ivanova shook herself from the stupor and barked orders. "Begin docking procedures and prep a shuttle. I'm going aboard." John Sharidan and his wife Delenn were making their way to the docking bay. The current captain had been good enough of informing them of Susan's arrival. As they walked through the Zocalo, Delenn began to slow her stride and breathe a bit harder. "John, let's slow down for a moment, please." She said. Sharidan tucked his arm around her waist and pulled his wife close to his body. "Are you ok?" he asked. "It's not the baby, is it?" Delenn brought her weary head to his shoulder and rested for a moment. "I just lost my equilibrium, that's all. It will return in a second." John took the pleasure of holding here there in the middle of the marketplace. Public display of affection in their positions was not common place, but Sharidan indulged himself at every possible private moment. At council meetings, they sat side by side, discreetly holding hands and casting loving glances between the agenda of new and old business. Sure enough, his wife's balance shifted, and her moment of weakness turned to normality again. John caressed her face with the palm of his hand and kissed her gently. "Better?" he questioned giving her one of his cherished looks. "Much." She replied, "Let's go get Susan." Beyond a set of double security doors was the arriving bay, and after only a few moments of waiting, Captain Ivanova made her grand appearance. "Hello again, Susan." John greeted as he took his friend into a welcoming embrace. Even in the thick uniform, his friend had obviously lost a lot of weight. She was a bit paler than when she had left, and faint gray steaks liberally accented her fawn brown hair. "Hello John," Susan smiled as released him and turned her attention to Delenn. "I hear that the two of you are expecting." Ivanova stated as she bowed to Delenn in a respective fashion. "How did John talk you into that?" The minbari ambassador blushed slightly. "He did not 'talk me into' doing anything," she stated shakily. Sharidan took her hand and squeezed it carefully. "She's right, I didn't. The baby was just an added bonus to her going along with my suggestions." Susan managed to smother her laughter under the cover of coughing. It was hard to keep the joke from surfacing. She hadn't laughed in so long. Delenn washed away her husbands comment and took Susan by the arm. "Come along, Captain. Tell us about your trip." Even Susan had to admit, she was having a good time. Franklin and Zack Allen had shown up just as she was sitting down to dinner with the Sharidans. Ivanova had the sinking suspicion Sharidan had planned the whole thing. After a few hours, they had her laughing up a storm. Now that the evening was almost over, she was sad that the time had to end. As she hastily said her good byes, Franklin took up her rear and volunteered to take her to guest quarters. Susan protested at first, debating that she knew this place like the back of her hand, but Stephen wouldn't take no for an answer. They had managed small talk for a few minutes before turning to the topic at hand. "Susan," Stephen started firmly, "I have the means to bring Marcus out of cryo." Words dropped to her throat as she replied in a horse voice, "When?" The good doctor reached for her arm for a comforting squeeze. "Soon. Within the next week, possibly. Delenn has given me her full blessing, but after the talk that we had after the...incident, I thought that you might want to be there." As Ivanova slowed her pace and started thinking, the words slipped out of her mouth. "Yes, I want to be there Stephen. I owe him that much." The vodka was good. Even when she was on her ship, it wasn't a problem to get some. But as much as Susan wished it, the alcahol couldn't keep the wolf away. And this time, she was toting a hell of a lota cubs. The sound of vodka slipping into the glass made her mind focus on exactly what she didn't want it to turn to. Marcus. From the day he had died, well...stopped, her dreams were full of nightmares that chilled her bones and brought gray streaks to her hair. She didn't want to admit it at first, for fear that she was going crazy, but soon it became hard to enjoy even the simple things that had kept her going through the hell she had endured. After so much heartache and loss, she had resigned her self that love had no dominion over a grouchy Russian. But, as life finds a way to go on, love came and found her. What a twisted joke of irony! And it just happened to be in a very appealing package, with dark hair and an English accent for decoration. But the real kicker was the price. Very little on her part, and she was so stingy that her package was placed in a frozen layaway, after a fashion. Susan couldn't help but think that she was in the middle of some sort of harlequin romance novel. A very twisted, Tim Burton one, but a love story none the less. A very cynical, brooding woman is won over by a hyperactive, honest to goodness knight in shining armor, only to loose him by her own stupidity. But who said this story would ever have a happy ending? After her fifth glass, Susan left it on the table disgustedly and moved dizzily to the couch. She laid down in a fetal position, and prayed for some kind of comfort. As she finished the last word, an easing stupor warmed her mind, and led her down a path of peaceful darkness. Without warning, she landed in a white room with swirling smoke hovering above her knees. "Hello Susan." Came a voice from behind her. As the sound entered her ears it prickled the hairs on the back of her head. "Jeff?" she whispered. She whipped around and found her friend waiting with an amused look on his face. "In spirit, so to speak," he replied. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked half demandingly. "I'm here to give you a little comfort, Susan. And to let you know that everything isn't doom and gloom like you'd expect them to be." As Sinclair moved to her side, Ivanova half jumped back. "You're dead. A thousand years in the past." She stuttered. Jeffery laughed, like a twinkling of bells, and put his arm around her shoulder. "Time has no reign over dreams, my friend. Which is why I want to talk to you." After seeing her shutter, he continued. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Susan. What happened was supposed to happen. It was destiny. There was nothing you could have done to stop it." Susan tightened and spat, "Is it the universe's job to hurt me at every turn?" Her friend countered, "No. It was to teach you about the importance of life. To help you appreciate what you had once it was taken from you. It was supposed to impress upon the value of love to your heart, which has been long since barren of feeling anything other than pain and grief." Somehow, it just didn't make sense to Susan. "Why to him?" she demanded. "Why did it have to happen to Marcus? He never did anything to deserve it! If it was my lesson, why wasn't I the one to endure it?" "Because Marcus is strong. He can get though many things that a lot of people couldn't deal with. And the reason why you weren't the one to walk through fire, is because you would rather die than to see someone suffer. You needed to know that you were loved by someone else for all the right reasons. That life and all it's treasures were yours too." That shut Susan up. "Will he get through it?" she asked in a half whisper. Sinclair shookhis head and bent to wipe a beginning tear from her eye. "Not without you. Don't sell yourself out, Ivanova. This was meant to be." Jeffery faded into a wispy darkness, which relinquished hold of her mind, and allowed the troubled woman to sleep. It had not been a lengthy process procedure wise, but the wait for Marcus to awaken seemed like forever. Susan stayed at his side for 15 hours, and just as she seemed to give up hope, a miracle happened. She had laid her head down on his bed for a moment, feeling the warmth of his hand in her own, and wondering if Marcus would ever awaken, when a gentle squeeze broke her out of thought. "Susan?" came his voice in a choked whisper. Ivanova looked up into the full blue eyes of Marcus Cole, and saw what was hiding under the half pressed comments and annoying habits; love. "You are a stupid, stupid man, Marcus Cole," the Russian grumbled quietly. "Don't you ever do that again. Do you hear me! Never ever!" With every word she shook more violently as the past year's stress and pain surfaced. Bitter tears broke from her eyes and curdled down her pale face. Marcus mentally shook off his sleepiness and made his fragile limbs to bring his love to the safety of an embrace. Was it his imagination, or had she lost weight? The ranger smoothed the back of Susan's rumpled uniform and reached up to massage her neck. As she recovered, Ivanova cried into the base of Marcus's neck and wrangled her arms under his back to grasp his shoulder blades. "How could you be so stupid! I know why you did it, but that was childish and irresponsible! If you do that again I'll have Zack Allen toss your behind in the brig!" Cole let her ravings slide off his back. "You're welcome." He stated with all the sarcasm he could muster. "No, no, no! Don't do this to me!" Ivanova muttered as she angrily lifted her head from his body and stared into his eyes. "Do what to you?" "What you're doing!" "My dear Commander, I have no idea what you're talking about!" "That's Captain, to you buddy!" "Well, it Captain now! What did you do? Kill off Sharidan?" "You are hopeless, you know that! Hopeless!" Ivanova spat. A sensual twinkle came to Marcus's eyes. "Maybe you can reform me," he stated, and promptly kissed the startled Captain fully on the lips. The reasonable side of Ivanova's brain lost the internal battle as she held the man in her arms tighter and returned his affection. Unknown to the couple in the room, a group of amused onlookers were discussing the situation. The Sharidans, along with Garibaldi, Zack Allen, and Stephen Franklin had a mutual interest in their friends on display, and all had the same conclusion. It was Franklin who put his foot down. "Com'on people. Let them have their time alone." Zack groaned, "If I had been a betting man, I would have put a couple credits on Marcus pulling a stunt like this." Delenn laughed slightly. "I would have bet the same thing, Mr. Allen, but I would have laid down quite a bit more." The president looked at his wife with an astonished look on his face. "Well I'll be damned," he stated in awe. "Don't tell me you would have put your money on Ivanova," Delenn said as she started to leave the room with a 'come hither' look on her face. Sharidan looked at his friends with their mirrored expressions of pleasant disbelief. "I wouldn't have ever guessed that she'd.." Garibaldi stated with an open mouth. "You've got one hell of a wife there, John," he finished. "I know." His friend answered before he left to follow his wife. Epilogue: Two weeks passed with Marcus making a full recovery. Ivanova was at his side every step of the way, and while they were relaxing in his old quarters, Cole interrupted their nightly cuddle on the couch with a question which had been badgering him for awhile. "Susan. Did you have any weird, um, dreams while I was in cryo?" Susan took a deep breath and tried to answer the question without sounding like an idiot. "Yes. Quiet a few. Why?" Marcus stroked the side of her face and stared off into space. "I swear I saw Jeffery Sinclair telling me everything would be alright. It was the strangest thing." His love kissed him on the lips gently. "Don't worry. He told me the same thing. I guess not all love in unrequited." Cole scoffed her last statement. "Who told you that? Whoever it was needs to get a bloody blow to the head." Ivanova closed her eyes. "Take your best shot." She whispered. Understanding registered on Marcus's face and he frantically squeezed her close to his body. "You don't believe that now, do you?" He admonished disbelievingly. Susan let go of the last remnant of romantic pessimism. "No, not any more," she comforted, "Not anymore." With the last bit of doubt erased from her mind, Ivanova sat up, strattled Marcus's lap, and kissed him deftly. The ranger responded whole-heartedly. The woman in his grasp had always been passionate, she just hid it under layers of doubt and guilt. Now that they had worked though that, the future could begin for both of them. Her hair would lose it's premature gray and the sadness would finally fade from her vibrant eyes. "I love you," Susan whispered when they surfaced for air. "I love you too." He replied before taking her down for another kiss. The universe had given them a gift, and the gift was love. Susan finally believed in that gift again, and somewhere, in the place where no shadows fall, she was sure Sinclair was smiling. The End -----------------------------------------------