From: Nick Subject: STRANGER WITH THIS FACE: Part Ten. Date: Fri, 16 Jul 1999 21:03:09 +0100 Okay, so I *planned* to post a chapter a week but then I got stuck and had to run to my beta-reader for help and advice! Anyway, I listened to all her words of wisdom and chose to ignore a few and here's the end result, so if you don't like it, blame me and not her! * * Stranger with this face: Part ten * * Well, this was unexpected... Impatiently brushing unruly locks of hair from her face, Marianne sat up. Beside her and flat out on his back, Lennier slept, his face younger and unusually open in such repose. Like her he was naked, his clothing stacked neatly in a pile, her own strewn over the floor of the tiny room in some sort of multicoloured tapestry. * Unexpected... Yes, definitely that. Now in the cold morning light, Marianne couldn't pinpoint the moment when things between herself and Lennier had changed. She could remember the unspoken and yet mutual decision that had led her to turn in his arms, neck straining upward, the same decision as had led him to slowly lower his own face so that his lips could meet hers. And she could remember that it had been a sweet, gentle and hesitant kiss, much as she might have imagined it would be- if she'd ever *allowed* herself to remember such a thing... * But still, at some point the decision had been made. And then, later, another decision made unconsciously had deepened that kiss into something that encouraged fingers to trail delicate patterns over first clothed, and later undressed skin; forced him backward to lie on the floor, her head nestled in the crook between head and shoulder. * So, that was what it was all about then. Her first time and presumably his. Two sentient beings and one hard floor- didn't take much, did it...? And never had it occurred to her that there would be so much mess... * Reaching for what looked suspiciously like her own T-shirt, Marianne pulled it on and struggled to her feet. There was a tiny washroom tagged onto the edge of this room, just as in her own and Marianne made her way into it's near-privacy, sliding the frosted glass door closed-to behind her. Filling the basin with cool water, she pressed her palms against the smooth curved surface of the basin's bottom, watching how the water pressed down on her fingertips to turn their tips white- something that had always fascinated her since she was- no that wasn't right- since *when*? She didn't know anymore... Had such a thing fascinated *Deborah*, the strange, other woman who had once owned this body? * Still a little sleep-muddled and unsure as to her feelings on what she and Lennier had done earlier, Marianne found herself able to remember more and more about this mysterious 'Deborah'. She could remember the feeling of summer rain falling heavily on her upturned face as she spun herself around and around in a gentle breeze; The voices of people she was sure she had never met before; A small bedroom that never felt safe, even when it's door was locked; A pain completely unlike anything she'd ever known before; A heavy weight on her back and a firm grip at her wrist and ankles... It seemed that her reluctance to know more was not enough to stop *Deborah* knocking on the inside of her mind, wanting to be let out... * "Marianne?" Coming sharply back to herself, Marianne stared into her reflection and noticed for the first time that a second face was now peering over her shoulder. * "How long have you been standing there?" Forcing her voice to sound neutral she let her gaze return to her hands in the sink. * "Not long." He was dressed now in loose fitting pants although his torso remained bare- curious- she'd always thought he would be even more 'modest' than she... "Are you unwell?" He moved a little closer, his usual concern for her made obvious by the frown that overtook his placid features, the way he tilted his head slightly. * "No, no I'm fine." Suddenly nervous, embarrassed even, Marianne pulled herself free of the water and moved past him into the other room. * "But you are remembering more." It was a statement, not a question and Marianne no longer saw any point in denying it, * "Yes, I am. Don't worry Lennier," to prevent herself from having to meet his gaze, she busied herself with turning her discarded clothing right way out and tugging it over her head, arms and legs. "You'll have 'Deborah' back in no time at all..." * "Marianne... Is that what you think I want?" He seemed rooted to the spot and forcing herself to look at him, Marianne realised that it wasn't, * "No, no of course not-" Sinking to the surface of a nearby chair, she bowed her head, staring unseeing at the cardigan in her hands. "I'm sorry, that was a terrible thing to accuse you of... I didn't mean to be so cruel." * "It is of no matter." When she looked up once more, Lennier was kneeling practically at her feet. "Marianne, what now?" his voice was little more than a whisper and he stared up into her eyes with such seriousness that she found herself gulping back a laugh. * "I have no idea... Lennier, what we did earlier... I don't think it's something 'Deborah' could be capable of... If I decide that I want a future *away* from her... I might have to undergo more treatment... I might have to become someone else... Whatever happens I'm pretty much powerless until I get back to Earth... Lennier, if need be, can you just be my *friend*?" * "Of course. In truth I never *stopped* being your *friend*." * "Thanks." ^^^^ "How long?" His voice flat, Franklin slumped over his desk, hands over his eyes in what looked to be some vain attempt at shutting out the world around him. * "About thirty-six hours." All cried out, Lillian moved to lean on the edge of her colleague's desk, her arms folded tightly around her middle. * "We need to start testing all the non-Lumati..." Still hidden in his large palms, Stephen nodded, * "Yeah... Get everyone on the link- emergency meeting." Finally emerging, he rubbed at his eyes with his fingers. "Sooner we get this out of the way..." * "I know... We should keep this as quiet as possible, last thing we need is a riot on our hands..." * "Why the *hell* not?" Suddenly angry, Franklin got to his feet, shoving his chair aside and starting to pace the small office. Knowing her colleague's need to vent some of his upset, Lillian smoothly reached out to push the door that led into the ward quietly shut. "I mean, my *god*! *Our* government wants us to just up and leave, just pack up and go- leave all these people behind? How can they *seriously* expect us to do that? Y'know, I always think, when I get sent on these 'errands of mercy' that that's exactly what they are- *mercy*- us going to the aid of those who need it... But *no*- it's just a damned *exercise* in PR! *Votewinning*! Nothing more and nothing less! How the *hell* can I be so *naïve*! No... Y'know what? I'm not going to play ball this time! They want me to leave this planet, leave my *patients* they're gonna have a *helluva* fight on their hands!" * "Stephen-" * "No Lillian, I mean it! They can all just go to hell!" He finished his rant, stood square in the centre of the tiny space, hands on hips, back to the door. The sound of slow, forceful clapping made him turn around to see almost his entire staff standing on the other side of the now open office door. Most were open-mouthed, but one- Grare clapped his hands furiously. ^^^^ Showered and dressed, Marianne arrived in the silent hospice, her sneakers squeaking on the glassy, tiled floor. She'd left Lennier in his quarters, needing to return to work, hoping that in doing so she would remain herself, remain *Marianne* instead of accidentally slipping back into Deborah's strangely familiar guise. * When she arrived on the ward she found the place almost devoid of staff, the medics all crammed into the tiny office at the ward's far end. Those that could not fit spilled out into part of the ward, jostling for space as they passed urgent whispers amongst themselves. The first staff- member she reached, she pulled to one side, * "What's going on?" * "You've not yet heard?" The Narn female stared down at her in amazement, * "An emergency evacuation has been ordered for all uninfected non-Lumati. The biohazard teams will arrive in less than thirty hours... We're all being re-tested." * "What?" Now it was Marianne's turn to look incredulous, "Where's Dr Franklin?" Hurrying past the remainder of her colleagues, Marianne moved in the direction in which the Narn had pointed. * "Stephen, what is going on?" The appearance of his protégé hovering in the office doorway prompted Franklin to discard the syringe in his hand, leaving it with another medic and move to place reassuring hands on her arms, * "We got a call- We've been recalled." * "Recalled? That's impossible! What about our patients?" * "Exactly. Most of us have decided to stay, put up a fight- We're re- testing ourselves but keeping the results to ourselves... Marianne, I can't think of a way out of this..." * "Why are they *doing* this?" * "I don't know... Lillian and I are pulling out all the stops trying to come up with *some* sort of effective treatment... If we can *prove* that we can make *some* impact on the virus we *might* stand a chance of getting more funding..." * "They're going to force us to leave though... If we leave what are the chances of us getting back?" * "I don't know..." * "What if some of us say we're infected, stay here with as much equipment as possible, the rest of you could go back and work on a cure at that end..." * "I know... That's what I'm already suggesting- I plan to stay so do Grare and Lillian- Some of the others are still deciding." * "Jesus..." The enormity of their problem suddenly becoming clear, Marianne feed herself from her friend's embrace and backed away further into the room. * "Hey... Marianne... I know this is the last thing you need... How are you feeling anyway? Did you get some more rest?" * "Rest?" Still in shock, Marianne puffed her cheeks and turned to stare at the multitude of charts that hung from one wall. "Not exactly... Stephen what do you know about me? From before my 'accident', anyway?" * "Not a lot- No more than you- There wasn't much in your file- Why?" * "There was no accident Stephen. All that stuff in my file- names of my family- they don't exist!" * "Marianne, what are you talking about?" His voice lowered to a hiss in an effort at preventing their conversation being overheard by those around them, Stephen edged closer, hands on hips and stooped a little to her height. * "Death of personality, Stephen. I'm Marianne Charlton now but I didn't used to be- I used to be called someone called Deborah.... She- I killed someone." * "Marianne, where on *earth* did you get a *crazy* idea like that?" * "I'm starting to remember things- that's what all the flashbacks and dreams have been about... And then there's Lennier... He *knew* her..." * "Marianne, look I- " * "It's okay- you weren't to know... Look, lets deal with this later. Our first priority is our patients... I just wanted you to know- in case I lose control like I did in the monastery..." * "Okay." * "Then lets get on with it! Any ideas?" ^^^^ Twelve hours later, Marianne finished her rounds and slumped into her chair to survey the multitude of changes Franklin and some of the other medics had exacted in preparation for the arrival of the biohazard team. All entrances to the hospice had been barricaded and sealed as effectively as possible given the medics' lack of resources. Back-up generators were charged in readiness for any loss of power during the stand-off. Aside from that, rounds and patient care continued as normal. For as long as they were able, the whole team would remain barricaded in the temple, protecting their patients in the hope that during the delay, Franklin and the rest of the research team would find *something* to barter with. If *that* didn't work then the research team would surrender and leave with the biohazard squad to lobby Earth.Gov and continue to support the Lumati. Several of the medics had already volunteered to lie about their test results in order that they might stay... * "This is madness..." Whispering more to herself than anyone else- the office was empty since most of the other were sleeping in between shifts, Marianne rubbed furiously at her face in an attempt at slowing her fatigue. * "You, also require sleep." Starting slightly at the sudden interruption, Marianne blinked up at the Minbari who now stood a few feet away, his hands held loosely before him. * "You *keep* doing that- appearing when I least expect it..." Recovering from her surprise, she sat back in her chair and swung around in it to half face him. * "I apologise- it was not my intention to startle you." Lennier moved to fetch a second chair. * "You're going to stay, aren't you." It wasn't a question; it didn't need to be. * "Yes, I am." * "Been tested yet?" * "No, I-" * "Didn't think so- you always seem to manage to be the last in line... It's really only a formality..." Silently he rolled up one sleeve of his tunic and waited patiently for Marianne to prepare a needle and syringe. * "Your 'flashbacks'-" Oddly interested in the actions of the woman, Lennier followed her every movement with his eyes. She shook her head in answer before sighing and adding an insincere 'not really'. * "I'm fine- really!" * "When you arrive back on Earth, you will undergo treatment to stop them though?" * "Another memory wipe... Probably not a good idea... Probably wouldn't be permanent anyway- this one wasn't... Besides, I *like* who I am- I *like* being *me*... Whoever that might be. Of course I might not have a choice... Either way..." * "Could your government *force* you to undertake another wipe?" * "If it means a violent and dangerous killer stays dead and buried, of course they can! And why *shouldn't* they?" * "Deborah was neither 'violent' nor 'dangerous'." * "But she *was* a killer." * "Yes." * "Well then." A slightly frosty silence descended on the pair and Marianne continued to concentrate on making up a slide, which she placed carefully under her microscope. "Anyway, if I don't undergo another wipe then this 'Deborah' will come back- either way it's a change I don't want, a change I'm not ready for... Lennier? I think you might want to look at this..." * "Very well... But Marianne, I know nothing of these things-" * "You'll understand *this*" Lennier noticed that Marianne's expression had tightened and that she stepped away stiffly in the darkness of the poorly lit room, her palms pressed together to almost cover her mouth. Before he had any real chance to view, nor understand the microscope slide, Marianne's voice reached him in a stunned whisper, "It's positive." ^^^^ End of part ten. -- Nick