From: KismattB5 <KismattB5@aol.com>
Subject: "Susan's Lament", SPOILERS 421 (Rising Star)
Date: Sun, 2 Nov 1997 21:53:25 EST

Hi all!  Thought I'd be depressing to you all and post this....however, I do
not claim responsibility for anyone who wants to kill themselves after reading
this!!!!!!!

Spoiler space, the final frontier..........
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Disclaimers:   I do not claim to own this character - JMS, WB, TNT, and TPTB
do.  I'm just getting inside her head for a minute.....
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Please stay away from all sharp objects and/or cliffs after reading this.
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okay, I think that's ALMOST enough....well, maybe 5 more....
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                                    "Susan's Lament" 


he is gone
in an eyeblink I am alone again
half of my soul lost, never to return
I asked "why?" but I know
he loved me
I knew all along
I must be cursed
cursed to not have love long
not even long enough to tell him
I had my chance for happiness
for freedom from the guilt
I didn't take it
I was afraid
afraid of getting hurt again
but now, now
I'll be forever alone
alone with my fears
more alone than I ever imagined I could be
my heart finally speaks
and bleeds
and breaks
drowning in sorrow and regret
Oh God, please
tell me this was a dream
I can't take this pain
he is gone
and I am alone again

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Kelly Matthews
KismattB5@aol.com