From: Kelly Subject: A Telepath's Fight Date: 30 Sep 1999 12:00:22 -0700 A Telepath's Fight Part 1 of ? By Kelly Disclaimer All characters, locations, etc. are the property of JMS, PTEN, and Babylonian Productions, except for Kathryn and Victor, who belong to me. This is not intended to violate any copyrights. This is my first attempt at fanfic, so any comments or criticisms are welcome, as long as they’re constructive. You can send to the list or e-mail me at liliana004@icqmail.com. This story contains SPOILERS for Divided Loyalties in Season 2. Kathryn Parker stood in the doorway of a small café on Babylon 5. She glanced around the room. She was supposed to meet Ms. Winters here; now, where was she? A blonde woman wearing gloves and a Psi Corps pin sat at a corner table. That must be her. She was arguing with another woman, someone in an Earth Force uniform. “I don’t have anything against you personally,” the other woman said. “but the Psi Corps killed my mother!” “I’m sorry about what happened to her,” Ms. Winters said, “but the Corps didn’t kill her. She took her own life.” “You and I both know that those drugs they gave her drove her to it!” “I’m sorry to interrupt,” Kathryn broke in, “but I . . .” “You must be Kathryn,” Ms. Winters said, extending her hand. “I’m Talia Winters, and this is Commander Susan Ivanova. Commander, this is Kathryn Parker, my new assistant.” “Nice to meet you,” Kathryn replied, shaking hands with Ms. Winters. “I see the Psi Corps likes their victims to start young,” Ivanova said. “You’re what, fifteen?” “Sixteen,” Kathryn replied. She was sure Commander Ivanova could tell that the question bothered her, but it wasn’t for the reason she would think. Kathryn wanted desperately to be taken seriously, but people always thought of her as “just a kid.” “I’m sorry about what happened to your mother,” she said. “I know how you must feel.” “You couldn’t possibly.” “My father was a rogue telepath,” Kathryn said softly. “He managed to hide from the Corps and live a normal life for a while. I never knew how they found him.” As she told Ms. Winters and Commander Ivanova what happened, the memory played itself over in her mind. She had been only ten years old. She was playing a video game when the doorchime rang. “Could you get that, Katie?” her mother called from the bathroom. “Sure, Mom.” Katie got up to answer the door. Standing in the doorway was a Psi Cop. “Is your mother home, Katie?” he asked. Katie nodded. Her mother emerged from the bathroom with her hair in a towel and wearing only one black glove. “Is there a problem?” she asked the Psi Cop. “Mrs. Parker, we believe that your husband is a rogue telepath,” he said. A look of shock and fear crossed her face. “He can’t be! There must be some mistake.” “I’m sorry, but there’s no mistake.” “Katie, go upstairs,” she said. Katie was starting up the stairs when the chime rang again. Her father was home. “Don’t either of you move and don’t say anything,” the Psi Cop said in a harsh whisper. The door opened. Katie’s father was smiling until he saw the Psi Cop. He turned to run, but the Psi Cop pulled out a PPG and shot him in the back. Katie’s mother screamed. Katie ran toward the Psi Cop and punched him as hard as she could. A wave of pain shot through her, and she collapsed. She tried to open her eyes, but it hurt too much. “Leave her alone,” her mother said. “Killing a rogue telepath is one thing, but Katie has done nothing wrong.” Through the fog of pain, Katie was shocked. How could her mother say such a thing? This was her father they were talking about. “I am sorry, Mrs. Parker,” the Psi Cop said, in a tone of voice that did not sound the least bit sorry. “If you don’t believe that he was a telepath, it could be confirmed by . . .” “No,” Katie’s mother cut him off. “If you were right, knowing it doesn’t make this any easier. If you were wrong, knowing it won’t bring him back.” Katie’s mother picked her up and carried her to bed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered. Tears ran down her face. “I’m so very sorry.” A few days later, after the funeral, Katie summoned the courage to ask her mother a very difficult question. “Mom, on the day Daddy died, when you were talking to the Psi Cop, you said . . .” She stopped. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she wondered how she could have any tears left after all the crying she had done. “You mean what I said about killing rogue telepaths?” her mother asked gently. Katie nodded. “Oh, Katie, I’m so sorry. You have to know that I didn’t mean that. I had to make him think that I agreed with what he had done to keep him from getting suspicious. If he thought that I knew your father was a telepath, he would have scanned me.” Katie breathed a small sigh of relief. She hugged her mother, and they cried together. Kathryn shook her head, trying to drag her thoughts back into the present. Rehashing those old memories wasn’t going to do anyone any good, she told herself. Commander Ivanova put her hand on Kathryn’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am. But I don’t understand how you could be in Psi Corps after what they did to your father. Aren’t you betraying his memory?” Kathryn recoiled as if she had been slapped. “What choice did I have? I could have run, lived in hiding until the Corps finally caught me. I could have taken sleepers and ended up killing myself or going insane. My father wouldn’t have wanted that.” “No,” she said. “I suppose he wouldn’t.” Commander Ivanova walked away. She hadn’t meant to upset the girl, but how could Kathryn have joined the Psi Corps after what they did to her father. That would be like her joining the Corps. “I’m sorry about that, Kathryn,” Ms. Winters said. “Well, you can understand why Commander Ivanova has something against the Psi Corps.” “ It’s all right,” Kathryn replied. “Let’s get down to business now.” Kathryn tried to listen carefully to everything Ms. Winters told her. She would stay on Babylon 5 for six months, first observing Ms. Winters, then acting as her assistant. When this training period was finished, she would take a series of tests to become a licensed commercial telepath. In her quarters that night, Kathryn’s mind flashed back to her conversation with Commander Ivanova. She hadn’t told her the whole truth; there were things that she could never tell anyone. A few months after her father’s death, Kathryn’s world was torn apart again. It had started the same way as before, with her playing a video game in the living room. It was funny how much time she had spent on those games back then. She heard her mother calling her from the kitchen. “What, Mom?” “I didn’t say anything.” Her mother came into the living room. “Yes, you did. I heard you say ‘Katie.’” “No, I was about to ask you what you wanted for dinner, but you answered me before I . . .” Her eyes widened. Katie realized instantly what she was thinking. “Am I a telepath, Mom?” she asked. her mother asked telepathically. she said, trying to direct the thought to her mother. It was weak and shaky, but her mother understood. “I won’t join the Psi Corps,” Katie said. That was unthinkable after what they had done. Katie would have sooner died. “I’m not asking you to,” her mother replied. “There are . . . other options.” “You mean running, becoming a rogue?” “Yes, that’s one possibility. It’s extremely dangerous, though, and you’re likely to get caught.” “Those drugs that they give telepaths to . . . ?” “No!” Katie could feel her mother’s fear and revulsion at the suggestion. “Half of the people who take sleepers end up going insane. “There is one other option. You could join the Corps and work against them from the inside. That’s what I do. I’m part of an organization called the Telepaths’ Underground. We help rogue telepaths escape and do whatever we can to make things difficult for Psi Corps without their knowing that we’re the ones responsible.” Katie’s eyes lit up. “Wow, Mom, that sounds so exciting. That’s what I want to do.” “I want you to think about this carefully, Katie. You need to understand that this would be extremely dangerous. Psi Corps has no sympathy for traitors, even if they are children.” “I understand,” Katie replied, her face and voice turning more serious. She knew the danger, but her mind was made up. If she could do something to help rogue telepaths, maybe she could help someone avoid suffering the fate that her father had. Once again, Kathryn had to pull her mind back into the present. It was getting late, and she needed some sleep. A few hours later, Kathryn woke up, drenched in cold sweat. It had been the same old nightmare she always had, the one where she re-lived her father’s death. Kathryn shuddered. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind. Why? Why did he have to die? She sobbed, covering her face with her hands. “God,” she prayed, “please, help me. I can’t . . .I just can’t take it any more. Six years, and I still have nightmares. Please, please.” Still crying, Kathryn laid back down, trying to get some sleep. It seemed as though she had just drifted off when the alarm woke her the next morning. Kathryn groaned. She had hardly slept at all, and she felt absolutely miserable. By some miracle, she managed to shower and get dressed without falling asleep standing up. By an even greater miracle, she somehow made it through the day. She had observed Ms. Winters working. It was all pretty standard stuff, business negotiations and things of that nature. When she returned to her quarters, she crawled into bed, even though it was only early evening. Once again, the nightmare came. She saw everything play back in slow motion. The door sliding open. Her father’s smile changing to a look of terror when he saw the Psi Cop. Her father turning, trying to get away. The Psi Cop drawing his PPG. “ No!” “Kathryn! Kathryn, are you all right?” She awoke to find Commander Ivanova standing in front of her. What in the world? Was she still dreaming? “ I heard you screaming. When you didn’t answer the door, I thought that you were hurt, or worse,” she explained. “No, just a nightmare.” Kathryn’s alarm sounded. “Alarm off, she said. “Why would you set your alarm for three in the morning?” Ivanova asked. “I didn’t. It’s set to go off at the sound of my voice. I have nightmares a lot, and sometimes I start talking in my sleep or screaming. So, the alarm wakes me.” Something seemed very strange. Kathryn tried to think, tried to figure out what it was, but she was so tired. “Wait a minute,” she said. “If the alarm didn’t go off until now, how could you have heard me screaming?” A look of panic crossed the commander’s face, and Kathryn knew what the reason was. “You’re a telepath,” she whispered. “If you tell anyone . . .” “I won’t,” Kathryn said. “You’re not the only one with secrets to keep from the Psi Corps. I’ve spent the past six years helping rogue telepaths escape.” Commander Ivanova looked puzzled. “Why are you telling me this?” “So you know you can trust me. I know your secret, but you know mine. You know I won’t tell anyone, because if I did, you could tell them what you know about me.” Ivanova seemed a little taken aback. “You didn’t have to do that.” “Yes, I did.” “Your nightmares,” Ivanova asked, “are they about your father?” Kathryn nodded. “You probably have the same kind of dreams.” “Sometimes.” Self consciously, Kathryn wiped a tear from her cheek. “I miss him so much.” “I know.” “I admire your courage,” Susan said. “Being in Psi Corps, but working against them. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get caught?” “Of course,” Kathryn said. “But if I can keep what happened to my father from happening to someone else, then it’s worth the risk. Besides, the other alternatives aren’t any better.” “No, they aren’t.” “I should go,” Susan said. “It might be a good idea for both of us to get a little bit of sleep.” “Right. Goodnight.” As time passed, Susan and Kathryn became good friends, united by the pain that they shared. And, somehow, knowing that there was someone else who knew exactly what it was like made the burden that much easier to bear. Kathryn also helped Susan develop her telepathic abilities. She wasn’t interested in learning how to scan someone, which Kathryn could certainly understand, but it would be useful for her to be able to block scans as well as possible. It was also important for her to learn to “think quietly” in the presence of other telepaths, so that no one could overhear her thoughts. After a while, Susan and Kathryn were able to carry on silent conversations. It was important for them to be able to speak silently, since it would arouse suspicion for Commander Ivanova, whose hatred of the Psi Corps was well-known, to act so friendly toward a telepath. One day, Ms. Winters was conducting some sort of negotiations between Kosh and another being. Kathryn followed her, only to be told “Your presence here is not required,” by Kosh. She left, returning to her quarters. Something strange was going on. “You have one new message,” the computerized voice said when she came in. “Play message,” she said. Rather than a voice or video message, it was a screen full of symbols in code. Kathryn committed the message to memory before erasing it. No, this couldn’t be happening. Andrea was dead. Andrea had been a rogue telepath who lived on Babylon 5 in Downbelow and one of Kathryn’s friends. Kathryn grabbed a bag from her closet and rushed out the door. She had to get down there now. When she got to Downbelow, she ducked into an empty room to change clothes and cover her face. She couldn’t afford to be recognized here. “Kat,” a man’s voice whispered. She turned to look at him. It was Victor, another rogue telepath. “This way.” She followed him into a small room. A group of telepaths stood in a semi-circle, surrounding Andrea, who was lying motionless on the floor. At first, she seemed to be only unconscious, but when Kathryn reached out telepathically, she realized that Andrea wasn’t there. She gasped. This was more than a mindwipe, where a person’s memories and personality were blocked so that they couldn’t remember them. This was more complete. Andrea’s personality, her thoughts, everything that she was, had been totally destroyed. “Why?” Kathryn whispered. Only Psi Corps could have done this. But if they wanted her dead, why not simply just kill her? Victor simply shook his head. He didn’t know. Kathryn thought that maybe she understood, at least partially. Andrea had been a P7, a moderately strong telepath. What if they hadn’t wanted to waste her abilities, but were planning to implant another personality, like a mindwipe? But then, it would have been easier for them to just mindwipe her. Victor said telepathically, breaking into Kathryn’s train of thought. Victor explained telepathically how he and the other rogues had tricked the Psi Cops into thinking that security was right behind them. Not wanting anyone to see what they were doing, they had fled. Kathryn said. Andrea’s body was moved to another, safer place. They all agreed that it had to be kept hidden from the Corps. A few people talked about destroying the body so that it wouldn’t fall into the Corps’ hands, but they couldn’t do it. Even though Andrea was no longer there, it would be too much like killing her. Kathryn left and changed back into her Psi Corps uniform. She looked for Susan, wanting to tell her what happened. When she found her, however, Susan had something that she wanted to ask Kathryn. They were both sitting alone, pretending to ignore the other. When Susan explained what that meant, Kathryn shuddered. The Psi Corps had implanted someone with a personality loyal to the Corps that would, when activated by a secret code word, destroy the real personality and take over. Could this have something to do with Andrea? Susan continued. Susan said. Kathryn felt her fear. She was torn between wanting to make sure that she wasn't the sleeper and being terrified of having Lyta find out she was a telepath. The risk for Kathryn was the same. Suppose Lyta found out her secrets, and was caught by the Psi Corps. Trusting Lyta wasn’t an issue; the Corps could simply rip that information from her mind. Kathryn replied. The question was, what were they going to do?From: Kelly Subject: A Telepath's Fight Pt. 2 Date: 1 Nov 1999 07:19:18 -0800 A Telepath’s Fight Part 2 of ? By Kelly After the problems with the last version, I pasted this directly into e-mail and added some hard returns to make it readable. Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. are the property of JMS, PTEN, and Babylonian Productions, except for Kathryn, who belongs to me. This is not intended to violate any copyrights. This story is my first attempt at fanfic, so any comments or criticisms are welcome, as long as they’re constructive. You can send to the list or e-mail me at liliana004@icqmail.com. Note: Text written like is telepathic speech. Text written like * this * is meant to be italicized. SPOILERS for Divided Loyalties in Season 2 Kathryn Parker had always been a very religious person, and her faith in God had helped her through many difficult situations. This, she thought, had to be one of the worst. She had just had a very disturbing conversation with Susan Ivanova. It had been interrupted when Susan’s link had beeped; Captain Sheridan needed to see her. Now, Kathryn was back in her quarters, trying to figure out what to do. Sighing softly, she opened her dresser drawer, pushing clothes out of the way to uncover a secret compartment. From it, she removed two identicards and two tickets to Eleytheria 7, one of the outer colonies. The pictures on the cards were of Andrea and Victor, two rogue telepaths, but the names were “Morgan Delaney” and “Brian Marino.” It had taken a long time, but she and a few others had managed to scrape together enough money to send two rogue telepaths to the outer colonies, far outside the reach of the Psi Corps. Neither the tickets nor the false identicards had been cheap. They had drawn straws to choose who would go, deciding to send two people together since it was better to have someone to watch out for you than to travel alone. She stared at the identicards silently for a few moments. Andrea should have escaped, but now she was dead, murdered by the Corps just like Kathryn’s father had been. Kathryn put the cards away and closed the drawer. “Why?” she whispered. “What did Andrea ever do to deserve this?” Then, Kathryn’s thoughts drifted from Andrea’s death to her own problems, namely Lyta Alexander and the “sleeper” personality that Psi Corps had implanted into someone on Babylon 5 to act as a spy. The only way to find out who it was, Lyta said, was to allow her to implant a code word directly into that person’s mind. Kathryn’s initial, and somewhat irrational, fear that Lyta would discover her secrets had subsided. After all, Kathryn was a P11, and Lyta was only a P5. What frightened Kathryn now was the possibility that * she * might be the sleeper. Because her father, a rogue telepath, had been killed by a Psi Cop, there had always been those who questioned her loyalty to the Corps. What better way to guarantee that loyalty than to implant the sleeper personality into her mind? She shuddered at the thought of having everything she knew revealed to the Corps. Her mother, Victor, Susan, and nearly everyone else she cared about would be placed in danger. “No,” Kathryn said aloud. “I will not let that happen.” She stood up and went to find Susan Ivanova. Kathryn prayed that she would be strong enough to do what needed to be done. Luckily, she managed to run into Susan when she was alone. Kathryn said. Even though no one else was around, telepathy was still safer than audible speech. Kathryn said. Kathryn had some doubts about whether it was really possible to completely erase someone’s personality instantly, but she kept them hidden from Susan. Susan said finally. Just then, Captain Sheridan appeared. “Ms. Parker, could I have a word with you?” he asked. “Of course, Captain.” “Lyta Alexander is on Babylon 5, and she claims that Psi Corps has a spy here.” He repeated what Lyta had told him about the sleeper program. “Why are you telling me this?” she asked. “Lyta is going to give the code word to anyone who might be the sleeper. Since there’s a possibility that it’s you, I’m giving you a choice. You can allow her to implant the word into your mind. If you don’t, I’ll have to confine you to the brig. I’m sorry, but you must understand the security risk.” Kathryn had expected something like this. There was no way that Lyta could get into her mind if she didn’t allow it, and the Captain knew that. If she was the sleeper, the only way they would find out was by eliminating all the other possibilities. And, if it was her, they couldn’t risk her being free. “You must be kidding, Captain,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You actually expect me to let a rogue telepath inside my head. Do you take me for an idiot? What makes you think she’s even telling the truth at all? Lyta Alexander is a desperate fugitive, Captain, someone who would say or do anything. Haven’t you even considered the possibility that she just wants the opportunity to scan you and your command staff?” “I have, but, quite frankly, I trust her more than I trust Psi Corps. I take it your answer is ‘no,’ then.” “Of course it’s ‘no.’ And you can’t just lock me up like some kind of criminal. You have no right.” she said. “I also have no other choice.” “Believe me, you’ll be hearing about this,” Kathryn said. “I don’t doubt it,” he replied. Kathryn glared at Captain Sheridan silently. She hoped that he was buying her little performance. She had to pretend that she was loyal to the Corps and act the way he would expect her to act. In all honesty, though, she would almost rather just let Lyta give her the code word and get it over with. At least that way she would know one way or the other. Wondering whether or not she was the one was going to drive her crazy. Kathryn allowed two security guards to escort her to the brig, where she paced nervously back and forth. A few minutes seemed like an hour. If she was the one, could she count on Susan to keep her promise? If the situation was reversed, Kathryn didn’t think she would be able to do what she was asking Susan to. And what about Andrea? Kathryn couldn’t stop wondering why she had been killed and why the Psi Cops had done it the way they did. A mindwipe would have been far easier. “NO!” Kathryn felt pain like she had never experienced before. Something dark and evil had taken control of her mind and body, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she was telepathically experiencing what was happening to someone else, but the fact that it wasn’t happening to her didn’t make it any less frightening. “You blew my cover!” an angry voice shrieked. It was Talia, Kathryn realized. “You're dead! Do you hear me? You're dead The Corps is mother, the Corps is father. You're dead, Lyta Alexander! We'll find you. The Corps will find you!” She could feel Talia fighting against the other personality, but there was nothing she could do. It had taken away her control, and it was killing her. Kathryn’s hunch that it was impossible to destroy a personality in an instant had been right. The sleeper was killing Talia, but it could only do it slowly. Kathryn raised her mental blocks, breaking the contact. She knew that if she stayed connected to Talia’s mind, it would drive her insane. A tear ran down Kathryn’s cheek, and in a few moments she was sobbing uncontrollably. Just when she thought that there was nothing the Corps would do that could surprise her, they sunk to a new low. “The Corps is Mother. The Corps is Father,” she thought bitterly. Talia was one of people who was supposed to be part of the “family,” and they would destroy her without a thought. Angrily, she slammed her fist against the wall. First her father and Susan’s mother. Now Andrea and Talia. When was it ever going to stop? To be continued From: Kelly Subject: A Telepath's Fight, Part 3 Date: 22 Nov 1999 07:11:01 -0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Content-Disposition: inline Okay, I give up on the attachments. Sorry for being such a pain by repeatedly sending documents that no one can read. Anyway, here's part 3: A Telepath’s Fight Part 3 of ? By Kelly Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. are the property of JMS, PTEN, and Babylonian Productions, except for Kathryn, who belongs to me. This is not intended to violate any copyrights. This story is my first attempt at fanfic, so any comments or criticisms are welcome, as long as they’re constructive. You can send to the list or e-mail me at liliana004@icqmail.com. Note: Text written like is telepathic speech. Text written like * this * is meant to be italicized. SPOILERS for Divided Loyalties in Season 2 “You’re free to go, Miss Parker,” a guard said to Kathryn. “It isn’t you.” Kathryn left, still almost in shock from what she had experienced. Kathryn fought down her anger and pain and forced herself to think rationally. She had to find Susan. Maybe there was still time to do something for Talia. Kathryn headed for Susan’s quarters and rang the chime. “Go away,” Susan said. Her voice was filled with grief. “Please, I need to talk to you.” “I said ‘Go away.’” “Susan, we have to help Talia!” Finally, Susan opened the door. She was sitting on the couch, red-eyed with tears streaming down her face. A half-empty bottle of vodka sat on the table in front of her. “Talia’s dead,” Susan said, never even looking up at Kathryn. “No, she’s not. They made a mistake. The sleeper can’t destroy the original personality instantaneously. It takes time. But I don’t know how much time. There still might be something we can do. “All right,” Susan said. Kathryn could feel the spark of hope in Susan’s mind, and she could tell that Susan was trying to push it down, afraid that Kathryn was wrong and there was really nothing they could do. “What exactly are you planning?” “Somebody put that personality into her mind; maybe it can be taken out. I don’t know if I can do it, but I have to try.” They went to Talia’s quarters, where she had been placed under house arrest. Kathryn said telepathically. She had heard the things that the “sleeper” had said to Susan, and she knew they’d hurt her deeply. If Susan went in there, she would probably face more of the same. Susan replied. Kathryn didn’t argue. Susan was probably a P1, maybe a P2, and Kathryn doubted that there would be much she could do. She knew, though, that Susan desperately wanted to help her friend. Talia asked Kathryn when they came in, completely ignoring Susan. Kathryn shuddered when the implanted personality made contact with her mind. It was cruel, ruthless, and blindly loyal to the Corps, a dangerous combination. Kathryn replied. She could feel Susan’s shock, so she sent back to her on a tight band, the telepathic equivalent of a whisper. Kathryn pulled one glove off and touched Talia’s forehead with her bare hand. She needed the telepathic contact to be as strong as possible if she hoped to succeed. Kathryn allowed herself to become totally submerged in Talia’s mind, losing touch with the outside world completely. She would have to trust Susan to take care of anything that might happen out there. Kathryn seemed to be standing on a dark, flat plain. Images flashed in the sky above her, and she could hear a thousand voices all talking at once. The ground was a dull, red color, like dried blood. She knew that none of this was real, exactly. It was just her mind’s way of perceiving what Talia’s mind was like. Kathryn shuddered as she looked around. Of all the minds she had made contact with, even Bester’s, this was the darkest and most terrifying. Standing in the center of the plain, in what looked like an iron cage, was Talia, the real Talia. Kathryn concentrated, and an instant later, she was standing next to her. Talia cried hysterically. Kathryn replied, hoping that it was the truth. Red sparks, like embers from a flame, were coming at Talia from all directions. She tried to move out of the way, but there were too many for her to dodge. She cried out in pain as they hit her. Kathryn raised her telepathic shield, placing it over both Talia and herself. She could see now that her original plan was not going to work. The implanted personality had attached itself too deeply into Kathryn’s mind for her to be able to get it out. a voice screamed. It seemed to come from all around them. The implanted personality had figured out whose side Kathryn was really on. A torrent of red sparks rained down on Kathryn and Talia, but the shield held. The random images in the sky above them began to come together to form a single coherent picture. Talia was lying in bed asleep, when suddenly she sat upright. Her eyes were unfocused, and it was obvious that she was still sleeping. she said. It wasn’t the real Talia’s voice, but the other personality. While Talia slept, it must have been able to take control. Kathryn could feel a mental tug of war going on between Talia and the other telepath. She could sense the other telepath’s shock and horror at discovering the other personality embedded in Talia’s mind. Lyta had said that it wasn’t detectable, even with a deep scan, but it must have moved to the surface of Talia’s mind in order to take control while she slept. The other telepath was stronger, but Talia managed to catch her off guard and pull a vital piece of information out of her head. It was an image of a spot in Downbelow, a place where rogue telepaths hid. Kathryn gasped. The other telepath was Andrea. Andrea managed to break the contact and run. Kathryn and Talia could only watch in horror as Talia got out of bed, called someone from Psi Corps and gave them the information she had taken from Andrea’s mind. That was how they had found her, she realized, and that was why they had killed her. Andrea had found out about the sleeper program, and they had killed her to keep her from talking. Apparently, Kathryn’s theory about the reason had been partly correct. Not wanting to waste a strong telepath, they had planned to implant another personality into her mind. However, they didn’t want to simply mindwipe her, since what she knew would still exist, and she might be able to get to it. The odds against that were tremendous, but they hadn’t wanted to take even that risk. Before they could implant the new personality, though, the other rogues had sent them a glyph, making them think that security was on their tail. The effort it had taken to destroy Andrea’s mind must have weakened them severely, or they never would have been fooled. As Talia watched the scene play out, Kathryn could feel her guilt and shock. She hadn’t remembered any of this, and now, she felt as if * she * had killed Andrea. The sleeper laughed. Another rain of fire smashed into Kathryn’s telepathic shields. Kathryn told Talia. Talia sent back, weakly. Everything that had happened was taking its toll on her, and Kathryn was afraid that she might never recover, even if they did make it out of this alive. The next image showed what really happened in the confrontation between Bester, Talia, and a group of rogue telepaths. Talia and the rogues had worked together to trick Bester into believing that she had killed the rogues, while, in fact they escaped. Talia broke off, not wanting to continue the thought. Kathryn wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle what had in mind, but she didn’t see any other choice. She whispered a quick prayer, and reached deep into the sleeper’s mind. She found what she was looking for: the knowledge on how to destroy mental information, permanently. It was the same method that had been used against Andrea, and it was what the implanted personality was trying to do to Talia. She had also picked up another piece of information, something that might help Talia, but it would have to wait. With what she had learned, Kathryn dug into the sleeper’s memories. First, she transferred everything that Talia knew into her own mind. She buried it under strong blocks, to prevent the sleeper from taking it from her. Kathryn removed those memories that were incriminating to Talia, B5’s command staff, or anyone else from Talia’s mind. She didn’t want the Corps to get as much as a scrap of useable information from this. The process was slow and difficult, and Kathryn still had to protect herself and Talia from the implanted personality’s psychic attacks. She could feel her energy draining, and she wondered how long she could keep this up. the sleeper’s voice shrieked in her mind. The attack against her and Talia intensified. Kathryn strengthened her shields, making it that much more difficult to get rid of the memories. A new voice echoed in her mind. It was Susan! Kathryn replied. Susan’s heart sank. She could tell that that was an understatement. Kathryn gave Susan the exact location of the telepath’s hideout. Kathryn gave Susan a memory that could only have come from her: her conversation with Victor in Downbelow after Andrea’s murder. Susan replied and broke the contact with Kathryn’s mind. Time passed. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. Kathryn only knew that she had to keep working. Her head hurt. It quickly progressed from a dull ache to a shooting pain that seemed to rip her skull in two. Kathryn cried out in pain. She couldn’t fail, not now. Half a dozen voices echoed through Kathryn’s mind. Susan had returned, with Victor and the others. Working together, they erased the rest of the memories. Now would come the difficult part. Just as a personality could be implanted, it could also be moved from one mind to another. Since Talia’s mind had been permanently taken over by the other personality, the only way to save her would be to get her out. That would mean, though, that she and Talia would be, at least temporarily, stuck in the same body, like having a split personality. Kathryn explained to Talia what she intended to do. Talia replied. Carefully, Kathryn pulled Talia’s personality into her own mind. Even with the help of the other telepaths, this made destroying those memories seem almost easy by comparison. Kathryn’s headache escalated to unbearable proportions. She could feel all the other telepaths straining to help her. All the energy they could muster was poured into the effort. Finally, it was done. Completely spent, Kathryn collapsed into unconsciousness. From: Kelly Subject: A Telepath's Fight, Part 4 Date: 5 Jan 2000 23:56:18 -0800 Finally, I've finished part four. I thought this would be the conclusion, but it ran a bit long, so I'm going to make it five parts. Hopefully, I should have the conclusion finished before too long. (Meaing sometime this millenium.) A Telepath's Fight part 4 of 5 by Kelly Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. are the property of JMS, PTN, Babylonian Productions, etc. except for Kathryn, who belongs to me. This is not intended to violate any copyrights. This story is my first attempt at fanfic, so any comments or criticisms are welcome. Please, tell me what you think. My e-mail address is liliana004@icqmail.com Note: Text written like is telepathic speech. Text written like * this * is meant to be boldface. //This is a telepathically sent emotion.// SPOILERS for Divided Loyalties in Season 2 When Kathryn woke up, the first thing she was aware of was a sharp, shooting pain in her head. She opened her eyes just long enough to realize that she was in Down Below before the pain made her close them again. The other telepaths must have brought her back here after she passed out. //Fear, confusion, pain// Someone else's emotions worked their way into her mind. Kathryn tried to strengthen her blocks, but she realized that these feelings weren't coming from outside. Kathryn could sense Talia's confusion, then understanding as she remembered what happened. Talia lived in Kathryn's mind now, in much the same way as the sleeper had lived in hers. The only difference was that Kathryn was aware of her presence. More than aware; Kathryn was experiencing Talia's every thought, and vice versa. She tried to block it out, but there was just no way to do that. //Guilt, shame// The memory of the events that led to Andrea's death were playing over and over in Talia's mind. Deep down, Talia knew that, but she still blamed herself. She couldn't shake the feeling that she should have been able to do something to prevent it. In Kathryn's mind, another memory surfaced, sparked by Talia's self-recrimination. The scene that had played itself out in so many nightmares was coming back to haunt her. Once again, Kathryn watched in horror as her father was murdered before her eyes. Like Talia, she felt that she should have been able to stop it, somehow. With all the self-control she could muster, Kathryn pushed the memories aside. Hearing Susan's voice in her mind intensified Kathryn's headache. "Sorry," Susan whispered, sensing Kathryn's pain. "How are you doing?" "I think I'm ok," Kathryn replied. Her words came out in a moan. "My head is killing me, though." Slowly, Kathryn opened her eyes. Susan, whose face was a bit blurry, was sitting beside her. She could barely make out the shapes of the other telepaths, who sat a short distance away. Talia tried to say, forgetting for a moment that she could not speak. She wanted to apologize to Susan for everything that the sleeper had said. "What about Talia?" Susan asked before Kathryn could open her mouth. "Is she all right?" "She's here," Kathryn replied. She could feel Susan's relief as soon as she said those words. "She wants me to tell you that she's sorry for all the things the sleeper said to you. She wants you to know it wasn't her." "I know," Susan replied. Kathryn rubbed her eyes. Her vision was getting clearer, and the headache had backed off slightly. She wondered how long it would take her to fully recover. She had never pushed her abilities this far before, and it had taken an incredible toll on her. Besides the crushing headache, her telepathic abilities had been damaged as well. The voices that normally flooded her head had almost completely disappeared. All she could hear was the faint hum of Susan's thoughts, as though it was coming from far off. At this distance, it should have been much louder, and she should have been able to pick up the other telepaths in the room as well. The blocks that kept others from prying into her mind seemed to have been shredded, and almost any telepath would be able to scan her now. At this thought, Talia was filled with fear. After Jason Ironheart had given her the gift that had kept Bester from digging too deeply into her mind, this feeling of vulnerability was strange and frightening. Kathryn, who had learned a few tricks to shut out even a P12, felt the same way. This worry, along with a dozen others, consumed their thoughts. What would the Corps do when they found out that their spy had huge holes in her memory? And what would happen if they found out that Talia wasn't really dead? As before, their negative emotions seemed to feed on each other, spiraling out of control. Talia snapped angrily. Kathryn retorted. "Kathryn, what's wrong?" Susan was shaking her shoulder, and the expression on her face was one of concern. "It's Talia. We both see each other's every thought, and it's, well, it's not exactly a good thing." Talia thought. "If one of us is worried or upset, the other picks up on those feelings, and it just keeps building on itself." Kathryn tried to turn her thoughts away from that topic, but nothing she could come up with was any more pleasant or reassuring. She did have a few things she wanted to ask Susan, though. She wondered how a large group of rogue telepaths had been able to get to Talia's quarters without attracting the attention of security. When she asked, it was Victor, not Susan, who answered. Victor's telepathic touch sent a sharp pain through Kathryn's head. Her hand went to her forehead, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. With Susan, it had been an easily understandable mistake, but Victor ought to know the effect that telepathic contact would have on a telepath as weakened as she was. "But doesn't security have cameras in that hallway?" Kathryn asked, pointedly directing her question at Susan rather than at Victor. "They do, but the footage from that area during that time has somehow been damaged. The cameras in several other sections went dead at the same time, so it had to be a mechanical glitch of some sort." Susan smirked. "Good idea," Kathryn replied. "I'm impressed." "It wasn't me; it was Garibaldi," Susan replied. "Needless to say, he was glad to do anything to make things difficult for Psi Corps." Kathryn was happy to have had Mr. Garibaldi's help, but she was also concerned. "How much does he know about this?" Kathryn asked. Bester had the nasty habit of scanning normals just because he could, and if he found out what she had done . . . Kathryn didn't complete the thought. Instead, she forced herself to focus only on what Susan was telling her. "Well, he saw the security footage of us going in, then me leaving and coming back with the other telepaths." So, he knew that she was responsible. Well, she had expected that. What troubled her, though, was that with that information it wouldn't be difficult to figure out her connections to the rogue telepaths. After all, how else would Susan have known who they were or where to find them? If anyone ever scanned Garibaldi, she was in a whole lot of trouble. "And, of course," Susan continued, "I had to explain to him what we were doing." Kathryn asked telepathically. The pain made her wince, but she wanted Susan to give her the memory of the conversation, not just tell her verbally what happened. She needed to know every word that had been said. "Mr. Garibaldi, I need your help," Susan had said, stopping him in a hallway. She glanced around to make sure no one else was nearby. "Would this have something to do with you, Miss Parker, and a group of rogue telepaths going into Talia's quarters?" he asked quietly. Susan nodded. "Kathryn thought that she could remove the implanted personality and save Talia," she explaind. Garibaldi's eyes widened. "Did it work?" he asked. "No. This is going to sound crazy, but she transferred Talia's personality into her own mind instead. Or tried to. I don't know if she was able to do it. She passed out, and she's still unconscious." "But, why would Kathryn go against the Psi Corps?" "That's the really strange part," Susan replied. Oh, no, Kathryn thought. Susan, what did you tell him? "She didn't believe that she was. She insisted that the Corps would never want to kill one of their own telepaths, and that the sleeper was destroying Talia because of some kind of mistake or accident." Sarcasm and anger coated Susan's voice. "Even if that were true, and you and I both know it's not, they still experimented on Talia without her consent," said Garibaldi. "Psi Corps used her like some kind of guinea pig. What does Kathryn think about that?" Susan shook her head in disgust. "They've got her so completely brainwashed that there's no use even talking to her." She changed the subject, asking him to take care of the security cameras for her. He agreed. "You know," he said, "eventually, Psi Corps is going to get her back, and they'll find out what she knows. What do we do when that happens?" "There are giant gaps in her memory," Susan said. "Someone already destroyed the information that would cause problems for us." "Talia?" "I don't know," she replied. "Susan, I get the feeling that there's a lot more to this than you're telling me," Garibaldi said. "You're right, Michael. But I promised a friend that I would keep a secret." Susan knew better than to insist that she was telling him the whole truth. He'd never believe that. Garibaldi nodded, apparently satisfied with that answer. That surprised her. Garibaldi hated to have anything going on that he didn't know about. Probably he had realized she wasn't going to tell him and decided to figure out the truth on his own. "I just wish I could see the looks on their faces when they get their spy back and find out that she doesn't know anything." Garibaldi smiled darkly. Tears were streaming down Kathryn's face, and the pain was becoming unbearable. She laid back down, closing her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered to Susan. Kathryn was glad that she'd thought to make it look as though she was loyal to the Corps. If they found out what she'd done, that fact alone wouldn't keep her out of trouble, but it could help. "Don't worry about it," Susan replied. "My shift starts in half an hour, so I'm going to go now. Get some rest." Kathryn closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her headache made that impossible. Talia felt like screaming, but she had no voice to do it with. A dozen times, she had tried to move or speak, only to remember that this wasn't her body and she wasn't in control. It was so easy to forget, because it * felt * like she should have control. Talia saw, heard, and felt everything that Kathryn did, just as if she were still in her own body. The only time the difference was noticeable was when she tried to move and couldn't, or when Kathryn did move. Then, she realized how powerless she was, and it was a terrifying sensation. Even worse was the mixing of her thoughts with Kathryn's. They were both used to reading other people's thoughts and emotions, but this was different. Normally, you could always pull back behind your own blocks if something was too intense, but there was no way to do that now. There were no secrets any more. Kathryn knew everything personal and embarrassing there was to know about Talia, like all those fights she'd had with her ex-husband. Talia knew all of Kathryn's most deeply hidden memories as well. For example, she knew that Susan was a telepath. That came as a surprise, especially considering the way she had always acted towards telepaths. Maybe that was partially a cover. Who would suspect that somebody who hated telepaths was one herself? What surprised Talia the most, though, was that Kathryn had never been loyal to the Corps. All this time, she had been working behind their backs to help rogue telepaths escape. How had she managed to trick them? Talia knew that you couldn't hide something like that from the Corps for any length of time. Sooner or later, they always found out. When she saw how Kathryn had done it, she was even more amazed. Every telepath had a few different kinds of blocks around their minds. The outer layer of blocks prevented a telepath from unintentionally picking up on someone else's thougths. Deeper, beneath the surface thoughts, was a block that protected the more private thoughts and memories. This block could be removed completely, letting another telepath see every secret thought, or it could be raised to the surface, keeping other teeps out completely. Of course, if the other telepath was stronger, the block could be broken. The blocks that Kathryn used were set up a little differently. The block that shielded her private thoughts was invisible. When someone looked into her mind, they would see the illusion that she was being completely open, when in fact she was hiding something. Maintaining that illusion, though, took a tremendous amount of effort. Only a P11 or a P12 would ever be able to manage it. But, using this, Kathryn could keep secrets from anyone, even a Psi Cop. She could throw up false thoughts, keeping her true feelings deeply buried, and they would never even know she was hiding anything. This had its price, though. The amount of self control required to keep up that kind of a front put an enormous amount of stress on Kathryn. "I'll probably have an ulcer before I'm twenty," she had told her mother once, "because I have to keep burying everything I feel." She had been relieved to get out of Teeptown and come to Babylon 5. Here, she was around people who couldn't see into her thoughts, and she could let her guard down a little. Kathryn felt, though, that whatever price she paid, being able to have a private thought that Bester would never see more than made up for it. Thinking of Bester sparked an unpleasant memory of a conversation she'd had with Bester. Actually, it was just one of many unpleasant conversations, but it stuck out in her mind as the worst. She had gotten dressed that morning and felt a little more disgust than usual at the sight of her reflection in black gloves and a Psi Corps pin. Wanting to look more like herself, she had put on a necklace that her mother gave her, a small silver cross. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had known that it might meet with disapproval, but Kathryn pushed that thought aside. She combed her hair, put on a little make-up, and went on with her daily routine, not thinking about the necklace again until Mr. Bester came up to her in a hallway. "That's a lovely necklace, Kathryn." Kathryn had only been in the Corps for a couple years, but she had already learned enough about Bester to know that this was more than a simple compliment. For him, there was no such thing. Every word that Bester spoke was intended to get a certain reaction, whether it was fear or trust or whatever. He always had an agenda of some sort. Those thoughts, though, stayed deep beneath Kathryn's blocks. "Thank you," she said. "You know, it's funny. The importance that people place on symbols. Like this." He touched his own Psi Corps pin. "Or like a cross. To one person, it may be just jewelry, but to another, it represents something that's worth dying for." As hard as she tried, Kathryn couldn't figure out what he was getting at. Whatever it was, it worried her. She couldn't bury all the fear she felt, and it would have been a bad idea if she could have. It wouldn't seem natural for anyone, especially someone as young as she was, not to be at least a little intimidated by Bester. "They used to kill people over religion, you know," he continued. "In ancient Rome, Christians were thrown to the lions. But, killing has always been mundanes' reaction to anyone they hate or fear. In the 2100s, the same thing happened to telepaths." Kathryn had learned about this, of course, and she'd always wondered how much of it was true and how much was exaggerated by the Corps. "They do hate us, Kathryn. No matter what some of them might say. They're afraid of what we can do, and they're jealous. We have a gift they can never possess, and they will never forgive us for being superior to them." Kathryn fought down her reaction to that statement, shoving it underneath her blocks. She didn't share Bester's feelings toward normals. "There was a question I meant to ask you, Kathryn. If you ever had to choose..." Oh, no. Now, she understood. The Corps couldn't stand anything that might compete for her loyalty, and that included her faith. "Sometimes people have to make difficult decisions. Which loyalty, which commitment comes first? For you, Kathryn, which would it be, if there was ever a conflict between the Corps and your religion?" Kathryn gulped. She was fighting like crazy to suppress all of her reactions to that statement, the main one being that, since she had no love for the Corps, it wouldn't be a terribly difficult choice. But, there seemed to be no right way to answer the question. To say that she would choose her religion would be unthinkable, a breach of the undying loyalty she was supposed to have. But to say she'd choose Psi Corps, to deny her beliefs, she just couldn't do it. Above her blocks, where she could feel that he was reading her thoughts, she projected only surprise. "That's...that's like asking me to decide whether I'd rather have my hands cut off or my eyes plucked out," she said after a long and uncomfortable pause. "I know what I owe the Corps. The Corps has given me everything." The image of her father lying dead on their living room floor just barely stayed below her blocks. "But, I couldn't go against God, either." She paused for a moment. He looked at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to say something more. The answer she'd given wasn't good enough, she realized. He wanted her to choose one or the other. "Honestly, Mr. Bester, I don't see how there would ever be a conflict. I know that God wants me to do what's right, and I * know * that the Corps would never ask anything of me that was wrong." If she'd spoken them as she truly meant them, those words would have been laced with sarcasm. Instead, Kathryn projected honest, wholehearted trust and loyalty to the Corps. Bester smiled at her, a smile that always made her blood run cold. She had seen pictures of the Centauri, with those teeth that were almost fangs, but their smiles seemed far less dangerous than his. "Good, Kathryn," he said. "Never forget that. The Corps is your family, here to protect you." After he walked away, Kathryn quickly headed in the opposite direction. She forced down the emotions that were tearing her apart, until she got to a place where she could be alone. And for a telepath as strong as she was, it took quite a bit of walking to ever be really alone. But, since a lot of telepaths needed that solitude every once in a while, Teeptown did have a place where you could go to be by yourself. Not everybody had the luxury of taking a spaceship out into the middle of nowhere when the voices in their head got to be too much to bear. So, there was a park, really nothing more than a large stretch of grass with benches scattered throughout it. Although it was used for recreation, it was an unspoken rule that those who wanted to play baseball or have a picnic stuck to the near side of the park, leaving the far edges of it for anyone who felt the need to be alone. Kathryn sat on a bench with her face buried in her hands. I should be happy, she thought. She had tricked a Psi Cop, something that *no one* should be able to do. Not just any Psi Cop either, but Bester himself. Bester, whom she had rarely seen before today. He didn't spend much time around the younger trainees, unless of course they were P12s. He had far more important things to do. The odds against her running into him on this particular day had to be at least a thousand to one. Instead of being happy about what she'd accomplished, though, Kathryn felt sick. That part of her mind that criticized her every action, never giving her a moment's peace, kept whispering "Liar." Kathryn looked down at her gloved hands. She hated having to pretend loyalty to the one thing she hated most. She hated lying too, but she was becoming quite good at it. Kathryn had always thought of herself as an honest person, but that wasn't true any more. Every day, she had to pretend to be something she wasn't. Deep down, Kathryn knew that what she was doing, or really, what she would do once she got out of here, was worth the price, but it didn't make it easier. It seemed to be a no win situation. That critical part of her would have called her a coward if she had run, and it called her a liar because she hadn't. Talia said. It wasn't much, but what else could she say? Kathryn replied, referring to what Talia had done to help the rogue telepaths. That had been as much of a surprise to her as her true loyalties had been to Talia. Talia thought. Kathryn sat up and rubbed her eyes, realizing that her headache had faded considerably. Her abilities were coming back as well. Her blocks felt stronger, and she could hear the thoughts of the other telepaths across the room. She glanced at her wrist, wondering how long she had been lying there. It had been nearly an hour since Susan left. Victor said. they both replied at almost the same moment. Kathryn stood up, ready to head back to her quarters. She had been down her for quite a while, and she was worried that she might be missed. Although, of the two people who would be the most likely to notice her absence, one had just left, and the other was riding around inside her head. Still, she had better get back. She said goodbye to the others and left. Talia was trying very hard to get used to the sensation of walking wtihout actually being in control of it, but she just couldn't. It was completely disorienting. She wasn't sure how she could feel like she was going to vomit when all the physical sensations that should have accompanied that feeling was absent, but she did. She wondered if this had been how the implanted personality had felt. It, though, had known that sooner or later it would step out of the shadows and take over. Talia had no such guarantee, nor would she want to take control away from Kathryn even if she could. She was trapped here indefinitely, and she didn't know how much longer she could take it. she said to Kathryn. Kathryn replied. Even with someone she knew she could trust, it was almost unbearable to have every secret thought out in the open. When she asked that question, an answer came immediately to mind, one sent waves of revulsion through Talia's mind. Andrea. Her body, now only an empty shell, was still in Down Below. Just as she had transferred Talia's mind into her own body, Kathryn could move her again, into Andrea's body. It would have to wait until she was fully recovered, though. Talia protested. She had already caused the woman's death; she couldn't take her body as well. How could she even think of such a thing? She just wished that she could come up with one. To be concluded From: Kelly Subject: A Telepath's Fight, Part 5 of 5 Date: 24 Jan 2000 18:53:26 -0800 My first attempt at B5 fanfic is finally finished! I don't even remember when I started working on this thing. As always, comments and criticisms are welcome. I'd love to hear what people think now that it's done. A Telepath’s Fight Part 5 of 5 By Kelly Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. are the property of JMS, PTEN, Babylonian Productions, etc. except for Kathryn, who belongs to me. This is not intended to violate any copyrights. Note: Text written like is telepathic speech. Text written like * this * is meant to be italicized. //This is a telepathically sent emotion.// SPOILERS for Divided Loyalties in Season 2 Anyone who saw Kathryn Parker walking down the hall towards her quarters would have immediately noticed something wrong. They probably would have thought she was sick, injured, or drunk. Unable to remove the implanted personality that had been killing Talia, Kathryn had pulled her into her own mind. Now, Talia experienced everything that happened to Kathryn, and each could see the other's every thought. The sensation of walking without actually being in control was extremely disorienting to Talia, and her disorientation was affecting Kathryn, making her stumble and trip over her own feet. Talia struggled to get control of her own emotions, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling of being a puppet with someone else pulling the strings. Finally, after a walk that took twice as long as it should have, they made it back to Kathryn's quarters. Kathryn sat down, taking a shaky breath. "You have seven new messages," a computerized voice informed her. Kathryn rolled her eyes, and Talia's reaction was much the same. The first half dozen were from people who wanted to know why Talia hadn't showed up at one meeting or another. Kathryn glanced down at the chronometer on her wrist. It was nearly seven o'clock, and they'd been gone for most of the day. Talia didn't imagine that people were too pleased with either of them at the moment. What did it matter, though? After all that had happened, her career was the least of her problems. Still, Kathryn would have to tell them something. The next message was from Psi Corps. A dark haired Psi Cop that she didn't recognize appeared on the screen. "We've heard that Ms. Winters seems to have had a nervous breakdown," the woman said. A nervous breakdown? That must be their cover story. Kathryn hoped that this meant they didn't know that she already knew what really happened. "A ship will be sent to bring her back to earth, and we want you to return as well, Miss Parker. The ship should arrive Thursday afternoon." Thursday was only the day after tomorrow. How had they found out what had happened so quickly? Talia said, forcing down the thoughts of Andrea's death that immediately surfaced. Had it really been only yesterday that this whole mess began? Kathryn asked. They had to come up with some explanation of where they'd been all day, and she knew they couldn't go back to Earth like this. If she could hardly walk, Kathryn doubted that she'd be able to block a scan very well. She didn't even want to think about what would happen if they discovered Talia's presence in her mind. Talia replied. She had the sinking feeling that soon that wouldn't be far from the truth. Talia was fighting hard to stay in control, ignoring the fear and confusion and the horrible sense of being trapped, but it was a losing battle. She forced herself to concentrate on the problem at hand. Kathryn was right. In this condition, it would be impossible to keep any secrets from the Corps. That meant that somehow they had to figure out how to deal with this. Talia didn't think it was the kind of thing they could just get used to, but they didn't have much choice. Kathryn reminded her. Talia replied sharply. Earlier, Kathryn had suggested transferring Talia's mind into Andrea's body, but the thought of taking someone else's body was unthinkable. Kathryn didn't argue with her. She called everyone back, informing them that Talia had suffered a nervous breakdown. She also cancelled everything else that Talia had scheduled, since she wouldn't be going back to work any time soon. When that task was finished, Kathryn stood up and walked back and forth across the room. At first, she was a little unsteady as Talia's feelings distracted her, but after a few minutes, she was walking normally. Kathryn could feel, though, how hard Talia was working to keep her emotions in check. Kathryn caught sight of her reflection in a mirror, noticing for the first time what a mess she was. Her eyes were puffy, and her hair was horribly tangled. Talia noticed those details too, but what struck her the most was how odd it was to look into a mirror and not see her own face. She would never see herself in the mirror again, she realized, and a wave of sadness washed over her. Quickly, Kathryn looked away from the mirror. Talia said. Dealing with the physical aspects of this situation, like actually managing to walk in a straight line, would be the easy part, Talia realized. Far worse was accepting the knowledge that her life as she knew it was over. Even if they managed to pull this off and fool everyone, Talia had still lost everything. Her life, her future, even her own face, were all gone. Talia tried to keep herself from thinking like this, knowing that these dark thoughts weren't going to improve the situation, but, under the circumstances, how could she feel anything but hopeless? That thought of despair sparked a memory of a time when she'd had a similar feeling of hopelessness. It had happened several years ago, just after she'd divorced Matt Stoner. She had said that they'd been married "just long enough to know it was a mistake," but she had known from the day she met him that there was something about him she didn't like. The first thing that Talia noticed about him was his cruel sense of humor, the sick pleasure he seemed to take from making other people squirm. After being married for only a few days, Talia wanted out. Unfortunately, the Corps cared less about her miserable marriage than they did about the gene pool. Until she had a child, they wouldn't allow her to leave him. Talia had been two months pregnant when she was finally able to leave Matthew. She remembered how angry he'd been when she walked out, but she hadn't thought much of it until after her son was born. All she could think at the time was "I'm free; I'm finally free of him." Kathryn was more than a little surprised. Kathryn was overwhelmed by the force of Talia's sadness. For a mother to lose a child was the worst kind of pain imaginable. Crushed, Talia had taken a job on Mars, hoping to escape from the painful memories. They had always lingered, though, no matter what she tried to do to hide or ignore them. Kathryn said. That night, Kathryn and Talia were tormented by nightmares. Their two subconscious minds were having two different dreams, not quite simultaneously, but flickering back and forth. One minute, it was Kathryn's nightmare. She was being chased, running as fast as she could through a dark corridor. Behind her, she could hear the voice of the artificial personality that had taken control of Talia's body. "You're dead! Do you hear me? You're dead! The Corps will find you!" Bester was there too. Rather than screaming threats, he was coldly mocking her. "Did you really think that we wouldn't find out what you've been doing behind our backs? You can't keep a secret from the Corps, Kathryn. Sooner or later, we will always find out." Kathryn kept running until she came to a wall. She turned to face her pursuers, only to find herself somewhere different altogether. Talia was walking through the Zocalo. She looked at the faces of the people in the crowd, searching for something. Then, she saw blonde five year old standing by himself. He was clutching a beat- up brown teddy bear, and Talia recognized it as the one she'd bought for her son a few days after he was born. "Mommy," he said, looking straight into her eyes. "Kevin," she whispered. She tried to stand up, to run to him, but she found that she had no control. She was in Kathryn's body, she realized, and she couldn't move. She felt herself stand up and turn away. She tried to get Kathryn to turn around, but she just kept walking, as if she didn't hear her. Kathryn sat up in bed, her heart beating frantically. Her own nightmares were bad enough, but having someone else's as well was more than she could take. Even worse was the fact that Talia was seeing her nightmares. The need to protect herself and others had forced Kathryn to become a very private person, someone who didn't share her true emotions with anybody. She knew that she could trust Talia, but her every instinct screamed that having anyone know so much about her was dangerous. Talia felt much the same way, but based more on personality than necessity. Like Kathryn, she kept much of what she thought and felt a secret. "Reserved" was the word she would use to describe herself, but a lot of people thought "ice princess" was more appropriate. She had felt those words directed at her often. Now, the privacy that she valued so highly was gone. Kathryn knew every thought she'd ever had. Every mistake, every embarrassment, every failure. Overwhelmed by Talia's pain and her own, Kathryn buried her face in her hands and cried. She had only been trying to help. How had things gone so terribly wrong? Kathryn had failed, utterly and completely. A thousand dark emotions swirled through their minds. Sadness and pain at everything Talia had lost. Anger at the Corps for having done this to them. Fear of what would happen when Psi Corps found out. They were both fighting for control of their emotions, but they couldn't get it. Alone, they might have been able to push these thoughts aside, but their negative feelings fed on each other, building up past the point where they could control them. They were awake, but they still seemed to be trapped in a nightmare. Talia wondered. She wanted to scream or pound her fist against the wall, and her inability to do so only added to her frustration. Kathryn was sobbing uncontrollably now. Tears soaked her face and her shirt. She had red splotches on her face, and her eyes felt like they were burning. Finally, too physically and emotionally exhausted to cry any more or even think any more, they fell asleep. The next morning, they knew what they had to do. Talia still hated the idea of taking Andrea's body, but what choice did she have? She realized that they couldn't keep this up any longer. Kathryn headed for Downbelow, to the place where Andrea's body had been hidden. The other telepaths helped her, and they transferred Talia's mind into Andrea's body. Since they'd all regained their strength, it was much easier than it had been the first time, although it was still a strain. Kathryn couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when it was over. Finally, her mind was her own again. Talia opened her eyes and sat up. She could move! She wasn't a ghost in Kathryn's mind any more. Talia felt a thrill of joy that ended abruptly when she remembered that a woman had to die to give her this. She felt horribly guilty, even though she knew that she shouldn't. After all, refusing to do this wouldn't have brought Andrea back. Kathryn asked her. Victor said to Talia. She was puzzled for a moment, but then she remembered the tickets and identicards that Kathryn had gotten. At first, she didn't want to accept them, but she realized that she had no choice. The Corps was probably still looking for Andrea's body, and she might be recognized if she stayed on Babylon 5. On a tight band, so that Victor wouldn't pick it up, Talia asked Kathryn about him. She had just met the man, and now she was going to be travelling with him. Kathryn told her. Talia nodded. Talia asked. Kathryn replied almost automatically, only realizing after she said it that *today* was Wednesday. After everything that had happened, Victor's trip to Elytheria had been pushed to the back of her mind. Talia blinked. She was leaving today? That didn't give her much time to get her things together. Then, Talia remembered that she had nothing to pack. She couldn't exactly go back to her quarters, where the "other" Talia was still under house arrest, and get her things. Talia sighed. Her life as she knew it was over. She was a rogue telepath now, and she would be spending her life in hiding. Somewhere in the back of her mind, though, she had known that this would happen. Once she had seen what the Corps was really like, she knew that she would end up running sooner or later. This just wasn't exactly the way she had imagined it happening. Before she left, Talia wanted to say goodbye to Susan and to thank her for her help. She supposed that there really wasn't anyone else she could say goodbye to, besides Kathryn of course, since no one was supposed to know that she was even still alive. Michael knew, and Talia thought for a minute about saying something to him. Then, she decided against it. After all, what would she say? She knew that he had feelings for her, and if things had worked out differently...Talia didn't allow herself to finish that thought. Besides, she wasn't so sure she wanted him to see her now that she was, well, no longer herself. The whole thing would be too complicated and too uncomfortable. Still, she wanted him to know she was all right. Talia gave her the message, and Kathryn promised to tell him after Talia was gone. Kathryn said. She didn't want Talia to leave without being able to say goodbye to her friend, and, knowing how things went on Babylon 5, it might take her a while to find the commander. Not to mention that her attention was probably occupied by one crisis or another, and it could be quite some time before she would find a few minutes to slip down to Down Below. Kathryn left, and she actually ran into Susan without too much searching and told her what was going on. After that, she went to her quarters to grab a few things, including some clothes she'd bought a while ago for Victor and Talia, well, actually for Victor and Andrea. Flying to a colony world as remote as Elytheria wasn't exactly cheap, and they'd arouse suspicion if they boarded the ship dressed like lurkers. She also threw things like shampoo, soap, and toothpaste into a small bag for Talia, knowing that she didn't have any of those things, and she would certainly want them. When Kathryn returned to Downbelow, Susan was already there. "It's a shame we wasted so much time fighting," she was saying. "No sooner did we manage to figure out that we could have been good friends, than you're leaving." "I know," Talia replied. "Well, um, good luck," Susan said. "Thanks." "Oh, hello, Kathryn," Susan said when she noticed Kathryn's presence. "I hear that you're leaving too." "Yeah, the Corps wants me to go back to Earth with them. Of course, they didn't tell me when or even if I'm coming back to Babylon 5." "Kathryn," Talia said, "I just want to, well, to thank you for everything you've done." "You're welcome. Take care, Talia." "You too." After Victor and Talia left, Kathryn went back to her quarters, to pack for her own trip back to earth. She wondered what she was going to do now. Probably, the Corps would reassign her somewhere else to finish up her training. Or, they would let her take the test early. After all, she would have been finished in only a couple weeks anyway. On her way there, she saw Lyta Alexander on the other side of the hallway, talking to Captain Sheridan. Lyta glanced over at her, then quickly looked away. The fear and distrust she felt towards Kathryn was obvious. Kathryn sighed. She hated having people look at her like that. She honestly hoped that Lyta managed to find the Vorlons. Whatever she had seen in Kosh's mind must have been something important to make her leave the Corps and give up everything she had ever known. she told Lyta telepathically. Surprise and confusion colored Lyta's message. Kathryn turned and walked away without responding. She would have liked to tell Lyta the truth, but it would be foolish to risk it. Kathryn went back to her quarters and got her things together. As she carefully folded her clothes into a suitcase, she thought about Talia, hoping that she would be all right after all that had happened to her. Kathryn had a gut feeling that she would. She had seen how Talia had protected the rogues from Bester and the way that somehow she managed to keep from falling apart, even after losing her son. Talia was strong; one way or another, she would make it. It seemed odd that Andrea's death, such a horrible tragedy, had been the thing that had saved Talia. If Andrea hadn't tried to scan her, or the Psi Cops had gotten the chance to finish what they were doing, Talia would have spent the rest of her life trapped in Kathryn's mind. Somehow, things seemed to work that way, at least in Kathryn's experience. No matter how terrible an event, something good would almost always come out of it. Kathryn smiled, wondering what Susan, or for that matter, Mr. Garibaldi, would say about that idea. They'd probably tell her that she was incredibly naïve, which she didn't think was true at all. Idealistic, maybe, but Kathryn didn't see how anyone could be naïve after going through some of the things that she had. Despite what anybody else might think, Kathryn remained firmly convinced that somehow God would work things out for the best in the end. Her father's death, she realized, was another example of that. Would a ten-year-old have been able to stand up under the kind of conditioning that the Corps used without having that horrible memory to remind her of the truth? Probably not. Kathryn shuddered at the thought that if things had been just a little bit different, she might have become the kind of person who was blindly loyal to Psi Corps, able to close her eyes and pretend that none of the terrible things they did really happened. She whispered a quick prayer, thanking God that that hadn't happened. After Kathryn finished packing, she went to track down Mr. Garibaldi. "Miss Parker," he said, "I've been looking for you. The Commander told me about Talia. Is she…?" He trailed off, apparently not sure how to phrase that question. "She's fine," Kathryn said quietly. "By now, she's on her way, well, let's just say someplace safe. She asked me to give you a message. She wanted me to tell you goodbye for her, and she said that she'll probably never go into a transport tube without expecting to see you there." "Sooner or later, she will," he replied matter- of-factly. Kathryn didn't doubt that he meant it. The next day, Kathryn left Babylon 5 with Angela Martinez, the same petite, dark haired Psi Cop she'd seen in the message instructing her to return to Earth. "Talia," who had been heavily sedated, sat slumped in the back seat. "How much do you know about the situation with Ms. Winters?" Officer Martinez asked Kathryn while they were waiting for clearance to leave the station. "Well, Lyta Alexander showed up, claiming that the Corps had planted a spy on Babylon 5." Kathryn could feel the other telepath in her mind. It was a light touch, like being brushed by a feather, and it wasn't difficult to throw a string of false memories at her and pass them off as the truth. Kathryn honestly reported what had happened until she got to the point of her telepathic contact with Talia as the sleeper took control. She left that out, along with most of what had happened afterwards. In its place were memories of hearing second-hand that Talia had been placed under house arrest. There were various rumors as to why, including one that she had gone ballistic and tried to kill Lyta Alexander. "Ms. Alexander was right, at least in part," the Psi Cop said. "Talia was a spy. What she didn't know, though, was that she volunteered for the position. We buried her memories of that fact and altered her personality slightly to make it easier for her to get close to the mundanes. The code word would bring her real memories back to the surface when her job was finished." Somehow, Kathryn managed to keep her expression and her surface thoughts neutral, letting only mild surprise filter through her blocks. As they left the station, she stared out the window at Babylon 5. It was so beautiful, spinning through the starry night. She had lived there for less than six months and on Earth for nearly sixteen years, yet somehow Babylon 5 felt more like home than any place on Earth ever had. She realized that that feeling had a lot to do with the fact that she had been free from the watchful eye of the Corps. Now, she was going to be surrounded by other telepaths again, and she wouldn't be able to let her guard down for so much as a minute. There was more to it than that, though. Kathryn stared down at her hands, thinking about all the people she was going to miss, then stopped suddenly when she caught sight of Officer Martinez out of the corner of her eye. The thoughts had been safely buried beneath her blocks, but it was better not to have those thoughts at all if she could help it. As they jumped into hyperspace, Kathryn wondered if she would ever see the station again. She hoped very much that she would. THE END ------------------------------------------------------- "Understanding is a three-edged sword; there's your side, their side, and the truth." - John Sheridan "Faith manages." - Delenn -------------------------------------------------------