From: Alternate Universe Today Archivist Subject: Twentieth Century PSI-Corps Takeover! Date: Sat, 21 Mar 1998 16:19:22 -0800 name = Jessica Mauch email = jessica@nether.net title = Twentieth Century PSI-Corps Takeover! story = (Author's note: This is based on an actual substitute I had. He resembled Bester so much that I wrote this story in class, much to his dismay. I hope you enjoy this *veeeeeery* short story.) Twentieth Century PSI-Corps Takeover or The Substitute When I arrived at my english class, I discovered that Ms. Adams was not present. Instead of our maniacally perky teacher, there was a tall, blockish man with dark blond hair, a bowl cut, and a slight accent. "I'm Mr. Bester," he informed us. "Ms. Adams couldn't come today." He waved a black-gloved hand at the blackboard. "She assigned two stories from your novel _The Things They Carried_. We'll discuss the first one, 'On the Rainy River', after this short quiz." For the next ten minutes he stood impassively, looking like Darth Vader in all that black clothing, slowly taking in everything and keeping the entire class on his line of sight. At the end of the quiz, he began a discussion of the assigned story. Tim O'brien, the author of the book, was wrong to run from a simple draft notice. In running, he betrayed the government and became a "blip". The rest of my class nodded, perhaps thinking Mr. Bester was comparing the author to a blip on a radar. I knew better. *The Government is Mother,* I thought. *The government is Father.* Mr. Bester turned to me and smiled. I smiled back. After that, strange thoughts would enter my head. I suddenly had the desire to slick my hair back. Out of nowhere, I would wonder if I should buy stock in the Psychic Friends Network. *And* I became increasingly fond of the color black. Before I knew it, I was chanting, "The Government is Mother. The government is Father," with the rest of the school and wondering how many "P"s I had. That's about when I woke up. I was still in english. I hadn't bought stock in the Psychic Friends Network. And Mr. Bester was nowhere to be seen. Ms. Adams was standing in her usual spot, wearing her usual red and pink dress. But here's the weird part: SHE WAS WEARING BLACK GLOVES...