From: Becki H Blumer Subject: Fan Fiction Submission: "Unrequited" part 4 Date: Thu, 04 Mar 1999 20:46:56 +0000 Meredith D. Holt beckihblumer@fuse.net Unrequited Warnings: None so far, give me a while. Oh! wait. Language. Greetings One and all, This is another Marcus and Susan story, though it may not appear so at first. Tell me what you think! My email adress is beckihblumer@fuse.net Thanks to Karin, Sharyn, Kris and Laura for their encouragement, also to Skyler Rose and Erica Lynn, my loyal beta readers. Hope you like it. This is dedicated to all those who KNOW there was a better way for Susan to see it. Love Always Meredith D. Holt Legal disclaimer: I didn't make Babylon 5, that's Joe's job. (Even if he did kill Marcus and get rid of Susan) I don't finance it. WB and PTEN do. BUT, Katirina belongs to me. Adam is Adam, he belongs to himself, I merely stole him away was a plot tool. The others I'm just playing with, I will return them in more or less one piece....I think. Personal Disclaimer: I am a hopeless, and I DO mean hopeless, Irish romantic with an appitite for chaos and A LOT of emotional bagage. You have been warned. Unrequited by Meredith D. Holt beckihblumer@fuse.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes I feel, Like a man in the wilderness, I'm a lonely sailor on the sea, Tripping with the tide, Never quite knowing why, Sent out to die, Never quite knowing why. Sometimes it makes no sense at all, Lies, lies, lies, Never quite knowing why. - "A Man in the Wilderness" by STYX ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Shinning in the light of her quarter's, the flimsiplast in Katirina's hand seemed to have a secret all it's own. Quickly she shoved it under the scanner and ordered the computer to do a handwriting analysis. "Analysis complete." the computer spoke to her. "Results!" Kat barked. "Handwriting matches that of Marcus Cole." "I knew it!" she spoke aloud. Whatever the Command Staff was trying to hide, she was close, very, very close. She removed the flimsiplast and imputed some of the passwords, searching for any files on Marcus Cole they might fit. There was one. The medical logs. When did he die? Kat tried to remember, she'd written it down somewhere. Oh! Yes, December 1st, 2261. Quickly ordering the computer to send the password to that file, she sat back to watch what unfolded. It really wasn't a medical log, but an excerpt from a security cam. It was almost like something out of a movie, Kat thought, as she watched the scene unfold. The woman from her dream...the one dressed for the funeral, lay dying, Kat soon discovered that she was Commander Susan Ivonava. Marcus had used a machine to give his life, for hers. How tragically, wonderfully, romantic. Katirina burst into tears when she heard his dying words. 'I love you'. A death bed confession, but also a reason, a prayer, an excuse, and a gift, one he had giving with the last breath he had. How could Ivonava go on living, knowing his life was now her's. She soon realized that the other woman hadn't, or so the next scene would have her believe. Kat had never seen anyone so upset in her life. That was it, she was going to talk to Stephen about this. Stephen saw her before she saw him. There Katirina Johnson was, dressed in tight white jeans and a pink kasmire sweater, a string of pearls gracing her neck and her hair was down, curling about her shoulders. Never before had Stephen ever seen any one so beautiful. "Stephen, how are you?" she asked as she took a seat beside him, greatfully sipping the tea he had ordered. "Mmmm...my favorite, how did you know I like tea?" "A little bird told me." he joked. Kat smiled, but then her face turned dead serious. "Stephen, I need to talk to you." "About what?" he asked, curiosity peeked. "Marcus Cole." Judging by the look in his eyes, Kat knew that she had stunned her superior, "Yes, I know all about him. I found a bunch of codes in room thirty two, and used them to hack through the system." "Why?" was all Stephen managed to croak. "He'd been haunting me...." and with those words, Kat went into detail about the times she had saw him, and the odd things that had been happening. His eyes showed skepticism at first, but then, he began to relax, knowing that she was spilling out her soul. "How....how can that be?" he stumbled on the concept, "I've never heard anything that would suggest..." "Have you ever heard of the theory of Ghost-Soul/Deflection?" she asked. "No." Stephen admitted. "It's the idea that the body is only a reflection of a light, that the soul doesn't actually reside with in the body, the soul is a flash light and the body is the light on the wall." Kat paused to take a sip of her tea before continuing. "Early Foundationists hit on the idea that the path between the flash light and the light on the wall could be damaged, cutting the soul off from the body. They called it the Ghost-Soul/Deflection theory, after the 'ghosts' of the twentieth century." "I see. So you think Marcus soul has been cut off from his body?" Stephen asked. "Yes. Yes, I do. Look, you said yourself in the medical logs," He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I read them. Anyway, you said that his body was in perfect physical condition, but his mind was nearly gone. Don't you think those two ideas are congruent?" "Well, yes. But if his soul is displaced, then how do you propose getting it reconnected?" he asked. "By all that's in the universe, are men completely blind?" Kat sighed, but her smile took the edge off her words, "How else? We get the one person he needs most to hull her ass over here and help us." Stephen rolled his eyes, saying; "Susan." --------- EAS Kore. (Note: In Mythology, Kore represented nature and death. Isn't that ironic?) The collective consciences of the crew serving under Captain Ivonava was quivering in fear. Ivonava had been edgy all day, and no one was quite sure why. But all of them had been around the battle scarred Russian long enough to know that was she was in a bad mood, they had better fear for their very lives. The whole bridge seemed to sigh when she left at the end of her shift, glad to be able breath and relax once more. Silence in the darkened quarters on the EAS Kore, and then the door opened and Susan Ivonava strolled in. Her face was a mask of careful control, that is, until the door shut. Falling to her knees, howling with agony, her hands came up to shield her temples. For a while, she just lay there, her cheek on the cool, smooth surface of the gray deck as she cried. Stephen had told her it wasn't good to pin up her emotions like she did, but she never ever imagined that it would hurt this bad. But it did, it was like something was eating at her heart and refused to subside. All her barriers had been blown away, and now she just lay there, curled into a fetal little ball on the floor. The StellarCom link beeped at her insistently. Finding some inner strength to lift herself from the deck, Susan wiped her eyes and glanced briefly at her reflection in the shinny black surface of her counter before accepting the call. "Computer, accept and decode call." she ordered in a still rusty voice. "Transmission from Babylon 5. Security Code clearance on Gold Channel." the computer informed her in monotone voice. "Babylon 5...." Susan said, almost as if the word itself was a curse. Shaking her head to clear it, she responded; "Security Code, Griffith." The face of a painfully young, clean scrubbed med tech appeared on screen. She looked of Hispanic descent, with dark skin and hair, and stunning blue eyes for contrast. In the back, Susan could see Stephen, pacing anxiously. "Captain Susan Ivonava?" the med tech asked, "I'm Dr. Katirina Johnson." "Dr. Johnson." Susan said with a nod of her head, "May I ask why you are using Gold Channel, what's so important?" "It's something personal." Katirina said. Susan thought in hurt. There was only one thing so personal she could think of..... "It's about Marcus." "How could you know about Marcus!" Susan exploded, "How the hell did you or anyone else for that matter even...." "Susan." Stephen's voice entruded in her rampage. "Susan, Kat is a friend of mine, she has something to tell you and I suggest you shut up and listen." His voice held just enough command to snap Susan out of it. "Like I was saying," Kat returned to the fore, "It's about Marcus. Um...where to start. Oh, I know," she took a deep breath and looked Susan in the eyes before continuing, "About a month ago, Stephen sent me to get some notes he'd left in a certain locked off room. While I was in there, I saw a man. He was wearing a Ranger uniform and he had long, black hair, a mustache, beard and gray eyes." Susan's jaw dropped, her mind whirling with the implications, "I asked him what he was doing there," Kat continued, "But he wouldn't answer me. He just looked around the room, like he was missing something. Anyway, he disappeared the minute I turned around, and I dismissed it. Then I was prepping the Cryo units, and he showed up again. Then I started having these dreams. Captain, you were in them. So I went back, and as luck would have it, found these passcodes that would give me access to the security files on Marcus. I saw the whole thing." The younger woman held her breath, waiting for Ivonava's reaction. "So, what are you saying? That Marcus...." Susan trailed off. "I believe that his soul and his body are disconnected, he can't wake up until they are back in the same place again. That's where you come in." "What do you want me to do?" One breathless Susan Ivonava asked. Her mind was no longer on this conversation. her mind was shouting, joy and hope she hadn't know since she was a child was now invading her body. Her feet were practically off the ground. "Captain? Hello..." Kat's brows were drawn in worry. "Oh. I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?" "Get over here. I think it can help." Now panic surged, replacing the joy. What if Marcus...? The implications were endless. "I really can't...." she tried to evade, but a determined look came over Kat's face. "Uh,uh. No way are you pulling this. Get over here. Please." the younger woman said, in a surprisingly authoritative tone. "Alright." Susan said. She severed the link and started packing right away, she had some leave coming to her and it was about time she took it. She stopped and looked in the mirror. Another woman stared back at her, one with long curly locks of chestnut silk, full red lips and clear blue eyes. It had been a long time since she'd been Susan. What was it that Franklin had said about walk about? That he'd lost part of himself. Maybe Ivonava and Susan had parted ways along time ago. She let out a low sigh. Well, if Marcus had fallen in love with Susan then she had better go find her. From: "Becki H. Blumer" Subject: Fan Fiction Submission: Unrequited part 5 Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 22:59:40 +0000 Meredith D. Holt beckihblumer@fuse.net Unreuited part 5 Adult Warnings: None Hullo all, This is the final installment of my little 'marcus ghost' story. Hope yall like it. If you do, drop me a line at beckihblumer@fuse.net. If you hate it, do the same. Sorry if its kinda quick, but I couldn't think of anything else. Anyway, thanks to Karin, Sharyn, Emily, Morgana, Laura and Kris. Thanks to Skyler Rose, my loyal therapist, beta reader, and multipurose gal, who keeps me from lopping Adam's head off. This part is dedicated to Jenny. Anyway, enough gab, everyone this side of Sector 14 knows I talk too much. Love Always, Meredith Ps. Lori, "Torch Carrying" is absolutely GREAT! Legal Disclaimer: JMS knows all, sees all, made B5 up! I merely dreamed Emily and Elizabeth Matthews in. The rest, aside from the story idea itself, is his. Personal Disclaimer: I am an agent of chaos, with a big mouth and LOTS of emotional bagage. Unrequited. by Meredith D. Holt beckihblumer@fuse.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Clicks, clacks, Ride theirs backs, Tracks and life's alright for a while, They both sing, Of castles and kings, and things that go with a lifeless style, Wanting to feel, To know what is real, Anything is a, is life... - 'The Purpose' by the Monkeys ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Susan stepped off the small, battered transport in a total state of shock. She was here. On Babylon 5, a place that a few days ago, she had swore never to set foot in again. Yet here she was. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, ignoring the looks she got as she took her bags to customs. Of course, many of the people here that knew her were surprised. The normally stern, always in uniform officer they knew, now wore a sleeveless, light blue blouse and long, chocolate brown skirt, her hair tumbling around her shoulders. Her customs passage was quick, and Susan rented quarters just as fast, nearly running all the way to med lab. As she got out of the lift, she nearly plowed some one over. "Captain Ivonava!" the startled, familiar voice of Katirina Johnson filled Susan's ears. "Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Johnson." She said, reaching out to steady the other woman. "It's my fault, I was just going to look for you, that's all." Kat smiled sheepishly, 'I'm glad I found you. We just brought him out. It will be a while before he wakes up, but, I thought you might want to sit with him, and get used to him being alive." "Thanks, but I think *I* need to get used to being alive first." Susan said as she followed Kat's lead. She felt the other woman's curiosity, but remained silent. The smaller woman led her down the corridors to a familiar room. "I'll leave you alone." Dark eyes spoke volumes," If you need me, there's a silent button on the left of the bed." And then Kat was gone, leaving Susan to face....HIM. Of course, he was still sleeping, but it was none the less the very same man who had given his life for her. Anger bubbled up inside of her at his stupid sacrifice, but she straightened her outfit and walked in the room. Susan's resolve cracked upon seeing him, waves of intense fear, longing, love, washed over her and she had to lean on the wall to steady herself. After a minute or two, she pulled a chair to the side of her bed and took a seat, just watching his face, relaxed in sleep as she had seen it only a few times before. Almost afraid to touch him, Susan tentatively reached out a hand t stroke the back of his. He was real, his flesh was warm and ALIVE. Encouraged by her ability to do this, Susan pulled the chair closer and lay her head in the crook of his arm. It felt nice, and safe, and warm. She only intended to lay there but a moment, however, sleep, or rather, the lack there of, encroached on her mind. The last thing she did before her eyes slid shut, was slide her hand into his. ------- The first sense to return to Marcus was the feeling of something soft and warm in his left hand, the second, was that there was a slight pressure against his chest. Then memory returned and his eyes flew open. Where was Susan? Was she alright? Had the bloody machine worked? His mind raced as his eyes began to focus on the world around him. He looked down to see Susan curled up nearby, her hand in his. Then it HAD worked. She was alive and breathing, and that was all that mattered, seemingly satisfied that all was right at the center of his universe, Marcus relaxed and closed his eyes. But then...a thought entered his mind. He wasn't dead, but she was going to remedy that as soon as she woke up! He felt so embarrassed. He knew that she was now aware of his feelings for her, and for that, the only repercussion would be, slow, painful, and humiliating death. Probably in front of a rather large audience. He refused to have his live for her thrown back in his face. She couldn't, would never be able to love him...he'd excepted that fact a long time ago. But at the moment of death, he had to say the words..... And now she was going to send him back to the gates of....where ever! Slowly, and gingerly, Marcus dislodged Susan's hand from his and crept out of bed. He felt a little woozy, but the sooner he got out of here the better. Maybe, he could go back to Minbar...wait, no. Susan would find him there and make his life a living hell...... Marcus was soon running down the halls, past the startled few he knew, people who thought that the dead had risen. He ran to the shuttle bay, he ran from the shattered remnants of his life. ----- The first thing Susan noticed when she awoke was that the warm presence beside her was gone. Marcus.... "Marcus!" she screamed. He wasn't there. He was gone! Oh, God! Where, how, who? The questions and worry ran through her mind and she quickly pressed the button. Kat and Stephen came running. "What the...." Stephen started. "He's gone. Marcus....." Susan trailed off, near tears. "He must think I'm mad at him." "But where would he go?" Kat asked. "This is insanity!" "No, this is Marcus." Susan retorted quickly. She thought about it. How would Marcus go about this. Then it hit her. "I have to go!" she yelled. -------- She found him where she expected him to be, preparing for a launch in a rental bay. Slipping, un-noticed on board, she watched him for a moment. The lines of worry on his face where apparent, and he looked like his heart had been broken. Her own was breaking now, watching him. As Marcus was about to finish the launching procedures, Susan spoke. "Marcus." she watched his reflected face fill with dread. "Yes?" his voice was carefully controlled. "What in the hell do you think you are doing?" Susan asked, her tone not nearly as neutral. "Um...look, can you just go. I'd rather not discuss this with you. I know you don't love me back, and rather then wait for you to kill me slowly, I think I'll just leave." Marcus said softly. "I think, you had better turn around and face me." Susan's tone softened, it was almost tender now. It seemed Marcus almost had to force his body to get up. Slowly he turned, looking for the glint of anger in her eyes, but finding none. She crossed the distance between them, and he seemed poised to flee. Instead, she cupped his face between her hands and looked him in the eyes. "Marcus. Listen to me." she commanded. "I'm listening." he gulped. He didn't want to hear this, didn't want to here her say that she didn't love him, that... "Marcus. I love you. Never doubt that." she spoke softly. Marcus looked at her. Obviously she did, because right then and there, she kissed him. Susan really didn't mind that Marcus was too shocked to respond, it made her happy that he was alive, and even happier that now they had a chance together. "I love you too." Marcus managed to say, breathing hard. Realizing how weak he was, Susan let him lean on her as she led them off the shuttle. "I'm just sorry we had to wait this long, that's all. Can you forgive me for being a stupid bitch?" she asked. "Susan, love, you're neither." Marcus said softly. She smiled, it would seem that maybe the universe had decided to give her a break. All she knew was that she had at last found some one who would never, ever hurt her if it came with in their power to prevent it. And that satisfied her more then anyone would ever know. Maybe all love isn't unrequited.