Title: WONDROUS IS OUR GREAT BLUE SHIP
Author: miramurr@hotmail.com

    This story takes place after "Intersections In Real Time."  I guess 
you could call it an alternate ending.  It may contain spoilers up until 
the end of season 4, depending on how much you make of it.  A 
confrontation between President Clark and the Babylon 5 crew would never 
occur, for obvious reasons so the plot is probably quite thin.  At first 
I didn't want to write it for that reason, but then I remembered that 
this is fan fiction, this is *my* private little universe I'm creating, 
and voila!  Here it goes.   

    Thanks to the Electric Light Orchestra for letting me borrow the 
title.  No copyright infringements intended, bla bla bla.  You know the 
drill.  I don't own these persons, they all belong to The Great Maker, 
Babylonian Productions etc etc.  


                    WONDROUS IS OUR GREAT BLUE SHIP
by miramurr@hotmail.com

    'So now as I'm leavin' I'm weary as Hell,  
    The confusion I'm feelin' Ain't no time can tell.   
    The words fill my head And fall to the floor,  
    If God's on our side He'll stop the next war.   

    -Bob Dylan-  


    The room was huge.  They could hear the door close behind them, and 
all of a sudden, they felt utterly alone.   

    The Babylon 5 delegation.   

    They had come so far to try to save one of them.   

    Sheridan.   

                                 ----------

    Delenn took a deep breath, and tried to calm down.  Her mind was in 
a confusing mix between anger, fear and sorrow - she kept experiencing 
these.  . . flashes.  About what *they* had done to John.  She could see 
him lying in a pool of blood, glowing knives which burned his tender 
skin, drugs clouding his brain, fingers being cut off.  . . She knew - 
or at least she hoped - that it was just her brain working overtime, 
that the stress had caused her imagination to become too vivid.  They 
didn't know what Sheridan's captors had done to him.  But still.  . .  

    She knew that beside her, Ivanova was having similar thoughts, even 
though the commander had hidden her personal feelings well, behind her 
usual stern face of steel and stone.  //She is so vulnerable, and when 
she tries so hard to hide it, she becomes even more vulnerable,// Delenn 
thought, avoiding to meet Susan's eyes.  Sheridan and she were close 
friends, who had been through a lot together.  Delenn knew that Susan 
blamed herself for Sheridan's capture, even though it wasn't her fault.  
She had tried to warn him that Garibaldi couldn't be trusted, but - of 
course - he hadn't listened.  //.  . . until he didn't choose his 
actions, the actions chose him.  . .// Her voice was only an echo from 
the past, but yet surprisingly strong - and true.  //The same things 
keep happening over and over again.  It never seems to end.  Can't the 
universe just give us a break? Just for a little while?!?// 

    They got closer to the end of the room, walking on soft, red 
carpets.  President Clark was sitting at the other end of the room, in a 
golden chair which reminded Delenn a bit too much of one of Earth's 
ancient thrones, meant for kings and queens, mythic persons from the 
past.  She heard Susan's whisper, "he's getting delusional, you know," 
and knew that they were both thinking the same thing.   

    "I still don't think this is a very good idea," Marcus said, 
silently, so that the guards on either side of them couldn't hear him.  
The Ranger had thought it was foolish of Delenn to come here in the 
first place, not to mention bringing in half of the command staff along 
with her as well.  This was just a trap, and they were willingly walking 
into it - he had repeated it over and over again.  Nobody in the entire 
galaxy could be more annoying than Marcus Cole when he was in the wrong 
(or the right) mood.  Delenn hadn't listened.  She knew that the Ranger 
did have a point, but she also knew that the representatives from Narn 
and Centauri Prime gave some weight to her words.  If Clark tried 
anything, he'd be facing a *lot* more than just a tiny space station 
with 250 000 inhabitants.  The second thing she knew, was that this 
might be their only chance to get John out of Clark's hands.  What 
choice did she have - really?  

    The room was filled with people.  Earthforce mainly, members of the 
Senate (those who were still alive and well, which meant not too many - 
those who hadn't been willing to play in Clark's little game had 
"disappeared", quite conveniently), a huge ISN crew which was going to 
broadcast the event live, and a number of people which they didn't 
recognize.  They were all watching them, looking down at them to be more 
exact.  The Babylon delegation was considered a group of manipulative 
aliens and traitors by the people watching them.  People believed in 
what they were told by the president and the media.  In times like 
these, what else could they believe in? They had to trust *something*, 
and if they couldn't trust those who were ultimately in charge of their 
lives - what were they going to do?  

    Everyone was dead silent, watching members of four races making 
their way towards the man the humans among them had refused to call 
their president.  Behind her back, Delenn could hear someone whispering 
"alien bitch" and the crowd started to stir for a few seconds.  Marcus 
immediately turned around, alert, his fighting pike ready and his eyes 
full of hatred.  He was Entil'Zha's body guard, and he didn't take his 
responsibility lightly.   

    "Marcus, no."  Her voice, quiet yet demanding, stopped him.   

    "They're not worth it.  I don't care what they say about me."  
Delenn could see that he wanted to say; "but I do", but instead he 
nodded, and they continued walking towards Clark sitting on his 
"throne".  The walk felt like it had lasted for an eternity.  Finally, 
they stopped about two metres short of him.   

    Clark looked at them as if they were simply a few bugs which he 
didn't really care about.  He seemed to be bored, but as Delenn met his 
eyes for a brief second, she knew it wasn't true.  He was scared of 
them.  Really scared - and especially of her.  She didn't know why, but 
she could see something resembling respect for her in his eyes.  A 
respect grown out of fear.  He probably wouldn't admit it, not even to 
himself, but it was still true.   

    She started to feel a bit better.   

    The silence was thick for a few seconds.   

    "Would you mind introducing yourselves to us?" Clark's voice was 
just a little bit too loud, slightly sarcastic, he was knowingly trying 
to insult them by claiming that he didn't know their names.  Both sides 
knew fully well that he did, but it was all a part of the game - a game 
he had been playing for years now.   

    "Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari.  Entil'Zha of the Rangers.  
Formerly member of the Grey Council."   

    "Commander Susan Ivanova."   

    "Marcus Cole, Ranger."   

    "Lennier, ambassadorial aide to the Minbari ambassador."   

    "Ambassador G'Kar."   

    "Vir Cotto, ambassadorial aide to the Centauri ambassador to Babylon 
5, Londo Mollari."   

    "Stephen Franklin, medical doctor in charge of MedLab on Babylon 5."   

    Clark leaned back in his chair, observing the seven renegades in 
front of him, while at the same time keeping an eye on the crowd's 
reactions as to what was going on.  Aliens were a rare sight here in 
the Earth Alliance's head quarters.  Aliens who had human *friends* were 
even rarer.   

    "My, my, my, isn't this a fine bunch of traitors and aliens!" 
President Clark addressed the rest of the room now, ignoring the looks 
the people from B5 sent him.  He didn't even consider most of them 
'people' - aliens were still aliens, bastards to be killed and/or 
enslaved, and this Delenn.  . . She was the worst of them all.  A 
human-Minbari hybrid - FREAK.  He might as well have screamed it aloud, 
even though Delenn didn't have any telepathic abilities, she was very 
much aware of Clark's feelings towards herself.   

    Delenn took a few steps forward, sent the filming globe floating 
about a metre away from her a quick look, then said:  

    "You have a man in your custody, Mister President.  A man whose 
basic legal rights have been taken from him.  A man who has done nothing 
wrong, except questioning the way you, the self-appointed President of 
the Earth Alliance, have been governing.  I, on behalf of the Minbari, 
Narn and Centauri Federations, as well as the League of Non-Aligned 
Worlds, the Rangers and the crew and inhabitants of Babylon 5, demand 
that he be freed at once."   

    In that moment, her eyes filled with fire, her image, very much like 
that of a queen's, was transmitted throughout the entire Earth Alliance 
and even further.  She had no idea how many millions were actually 
watching her now, seeing the way she fought for the man she loved.  For 
the love for John was obvious in her eyes, as well as the anger and the 
sorrow.  Her big, green eyes were like mirrors, mirroring her emotions.  
She didn't know that the woman who was to become her mother-in-law saw 
her, too, that she for the first time saw the woman her son was in love 
with.  She didn't know that Mrs. Sheridan very much approved of her 
son's choice, her eyes filling with tears.   

    "Why should we free a man who is guilty of such a great number of 
crimes against the Earth Alliance?"  

    "The only crime he has ever committed, was going against you.  And 
frankly, you have a helluva lot more blood on your hands than John has 
ever had."  Susan Ivanova's voice was cold, her eyes fixed on Clark's 
face.   

    G'Kar took a step forward, knowing that his posture and size would 
make the President uneasy.  He was afraid of aliens, and he no doubt 
knew a great deal about the 'famous' Narn temper.  His knowledge was 
colored by his fears - his fear of all that was alien, one way or 
another.   

    "This is about a lot more than just Captain Sheridan, Mister 
President. This is about the discrimination and campaign of 
disinformation you have started, aimed at *all* aliens.  It's about the 
way you have stolen power that was not rightfully yours.  About the way 
you have killed thousands of innocent civilians."   

    "Don't misunderstand," Vir continued,  

    "We all believe that this is your fight.  The humans should sort out 
their own problems, and we hadn't intended to interfere if we didn't get 
provoked."   

    "But now we *have* been provoked," Delenn said.   

    "By kidnapping Captain Sheridan you have crossed an invisible line.  
A line which I am very sure you will strongly regret ever even letting 
your shadow fall on."   

    Clark's mouth curved slightly, he actually looked amused.  He rose 
from his chair with just minor problems (his lifestyle was starting to 
catch up on him - too many heavy dinners and too little exercise were 
starting to show) and he walked the few short steps until he stood face 
to face with the fragile woman with the burning eyes.   

    "So," he said.   

    "That's funny.  It's funny that your little crusade to save your 
*lover* -" he made damn sure to emphasize the word 'lover',  

    "- should become a concern of anyone else.  Do you know what you 
might have started here?"  

    "The question is - do you?" Their eyes met, and held, for a long 
second.  Then Clark softly touched her hair, stroking her cheek, and it 
was all Delenn could do to stop her body from shivering from disgust.   

    "I would very much like to know what made you into this half human - 
half Minbari *thing*," the President said, slightly amused.   

    "I suppose you are actually quite beautiful, even after human 
standards.  A bit - what shall I say - exotic?"  

    He suddenly found himself facing two fighting pikes and two very 
angry men behind them.   

    "If you value your life, you better get away from her," Marcus said, 
after whispering to Ivanova that he had already told her what he thought 
about this mission.  Clark simply took a few steps short of 
Delenn, making very sure that he didn't stand too close.  He didn't want 
to annoy the human Ranger and the Minbari ambassadorial aide on either 
side of the Minbari ambassador.  His voice didn't seem to be affected at 
all when he said:  

    "I have noticed the ring you are wearing, Ambassador Delenn.  It's 
an engagement ring, isn't it? Given to you by your *human* lover - 
Captain John J.  Sheridan.  You see, I believe that it isn't Sheridan's 
fault that he has committed these crimes against his own kind.  I 
believe that he was manipulated - by all the aliens aboard Babylon 5, 
but most specifically by you.  I believe that you have used your looks, 
your body and your mind to turn him away from Earth.  By seducing him 
you were hoping to influence the Earth Alliance, weakening it and 
eventually destroying it, so that *your* race, the Minbari, could finish 
what you once started - conquering Earth.  Enslaving humanity.  *That* 
was your goal, wasn't it? Power, money - and taking advantage of a 
mentally weakened human man.  He suffered from the Minbari war syndrome, 
thus being very easy to manipulate by an alien.  You got him 
exactly where you wanted him to be, didn't you? In your bed?!?" He 
screamed the words aloud, and that made the rest of the people in the 
room react, just as he had known it would.  There were people yelling at 
her, calling her all kinds of things, but the words which were repeated 
most often were "freak" and "alien whore".  Delenn tried not to let them 
get to her.  She had heard all of this before, she couldn't afford to 
become furious now, and do to this ignorant crowd what she wanted to do.   

    "President, I resent your insinuation," she said, her voice was 
dangerously low.   

    "Do you deny that the two of you have spent the night together, 
then?  Do you deny that you have been seeking sinful, dirty pleasure 
from each other - two persons from different races? Do you deny it? 
DO YOU?!?" The roar from the crowd was there again, it was so loud that 
the president had trouble hearing her answer:  

    "Have you ever been in love?"  

    "What has love got to do with it?"  

    "Everything."   

    The silence once again settled in the room.  The two sides were 
watching each other, wondering what the others were up to.   

    "John and I . . . have a destiny.  A destiny which not even you can 
ruin, no matter how much you try.  Because no matter what you do to us - 
we will meet again, in a place where no shadows fall."   

    "Isn't that a very Minbari thing to say - very poetic, and utterly 
meaningless."   

    "We want to see him."   

    "I beg your pardon?"  

    "We want to see that he is alive.  If you have already killed him, 
then there is nothing that will stop the White Star fleet from 
destroying the Earth Alliance headquarters once and for all.  It is in 
hyperspace, and they will come here when I tell them to.  Do you want to 
start the Minbari war all over again? You know you cannot win."   

    "So, this is what it's all about - getting an excuse to invade 
Earth? Are you willing to sacrifice millions to save just one man?"  

    Delenn didn't want to answer that question.  She knew what the 
answer was, and it was hard to admit, even to herself, that she couldn't 
let the White Star fleet start bombing Earth for the sake of 
Sheridan.  It couldn't be the *only* legitimate reason.   

    "If he's dead, we have nothing left to talk about.  Then the battle 
will continue.  We won't surrender, and we won't give up until Earth has 
gotten a legally elected President, a senate, and a free press 
that's allowed to tell the *truth*," Ivanova said.  It wasn't like her 
to stay silent for a long time in discussions like these, and she found 
that this had gone far enough.   

    "Just let us see him, talk to him, let us make sure that he's all 
right.  What do you have to lose?"  

    They found out that about five minutes later, when four armed guards 
led a back-bound Sheridan into the room.  They understood why Clark had 
been so reluctant to let them see him.  The reason was quite obvious.   

    He could hardly walk, his eyes were tightly shut against the light.  
He had spent so much time in dark cells, his eyes hadn't adjusted to the 
sunlight coming in from the roof windows yet.  His lip was swollen, he 
was bruised and he didn't seem to be aware of anything that was going on 
around him.  When one of the guards pulled the rope which was tied 
around his wrists, he murmured something which vaguely sounded like 
swearing, but no one was able to make out exactly what he was saying.  
Like a newborn baby he opened his eyes at the light, trying to focus on 
the dim creatures surrounding him.  He was so far down, both physically 
and mentally, than he was almost broken.  Then he was able 
to distinguish one voice from the others around him, whispering words 
his foggy, drugged brain didn't recognize, only one word, one voice was 
clear:  

    "John!" Suddenly, she was in his arms, or he was in her arms, he 
couldn't really tell, and he could feel her warm lips against his, they 
tasted like salt, like she had been crying.  When he felt her warm 
tears on his cheek, he knew that she had.  He was barely able to 
whisper;  

    "Delenn!" before he collapsed on the floor.   

    Franklin had also rushed to his side, suddenly very much the 
professional he was.  Helping the sick was a part of him, it had always 
been, and seeing one of his *friends* suffering like this had triggered 
his anger as well as the professional instincts gained through years of 
education and experience.   

    "I want a medical team here *now*," he demanded, his voice left no 
room for objections.  Still, nobody except the Babylon 5 delegation 
seemed to react.  With a smile on his lips, President Clark started 
walking towards them, while at the same time addressing the ISN camera 
which was floating just above him.   

    "Now you can see what happens to traitors.  This particular traitor, 
having been heavily influenced by aliens, refused to cooperate during 
the interrogations.  We were simply trying to repair some of the 
damage he had done to his own race, but when he started threatening and 
even using violence against his interrogators, they had no choice but to 
start treating him a bit rougher.  It's unfortunate, but.  . ." A 
hard fist against his jaw, which made him be able to study the luxurious 
red carpet from a new and very close angle, effectively stopped him.  
The fist belonged to a *very* angry Ivanova, who was quickly stopped by 
Marcus before she spat on the man lying in front of her, like she had 
intended to do.   

                                 ----------

    The bright light was still there, hurting his eyes.  It was starting 
to get a bit better, though, but he still wasn't able to see anything 
clearly.  All he could see were colored spots, moving far too fast for 
him to be able to make anything out of them.  Then he saw something 
which he remembered.  A bone crest surrounded by dark, curly hair, 
strong, yet tender hands, green eyes.  . .  

    "Delenn."  He could hardly finish the word before his tongue refused 
to cooperate any further, he felt himself being drawn closer to the 
darkness and the quiet.  He could no longer feel the pain in his 
legs, it was as if they weren't there any longer.  He seemed to recall 
that it was something which he had to tell her, something he had almost 
forgotten, but.  . .  

    "I love you."  There it was.  He hadn't forgotten it, it was still 
there.   

    "John!" John? Oh, he suddenly remembered now.  John.  That was his 
name.  That was who he was, even though the interrogators had tried so 
hard to convince him otherwise.  He was *John*.  The interrogators had 
almost made him forgot that, the knowledge had faded due to the constant 
torture and pain.  The electric shocks, the mind-weakening drugs, the 
lack of food and rest, the repeated phrases, over and over again.  . . 
They had tried to make him forget who he was, his name, identity, 
memories, everything.  But they hadn't succeeded.  He was still himself, 
not a person created by someone else's mind.   

    Then he heard another voice which he seemed to recognize.  It came 
from the other side of him, from the side opposite of Delenn's.   

    "Captain! Can you hear me?"  
    //Yes, of course I can hear you, Stephen, but I can't answer you 
right now, it seems like my ears are the only organs which are willing 
to cooperate.  . .//  

    "He can hear you, Stephen.  I saw it in his eyes."  Delenn's voice 
again.   

    "OK, John, focus on me.  Listen to me.  Can you feel this?"  

    No response.   

    "Can you feel this?"  

    No response.   

    "What about this?"  

    Then nothing.   

                                 ----------

    "He has lost consciousness again," Franklin said, not looking away 
from his patient for a single second.   

    "Get that damn thing outta here!" He waved his hand in the 
direction of the camera globe, it was hovering just in front of them.   

    Franklin had torn open the Captain's shirt, which was all laces 
already.  He had to close his eyes for a second when he saw Sheridan's 
upper body.  It was full of infected, open wounds, and red spots on 
which there had been electrodes sending unknown amounts of electrical 
power into him.  The sight of John's body, all bloody and messed up, 
was what finally made Delenn explode.  Her whole world seemed to 
decrease until the only persons in it were she, John and President 
Clark.  She rose, and suddenly, without quite remembering how they got 
there, her hands were around Clark's throat.  Marcus and G'Kar had to 
use all their strength to part the fragile woman from the huge man who 
she was about to kill.  She would've made it, too, if they hadn't been 
there.  Minbari had strength which excelled that of the average human, 
and her anger only helped to increase her strength.   

    While G'Kar was still holding her in a tight grip, refusing her to 
approach the still choking President, she screamed:  

    "Is this what you call 'being well fed and treated'? Is it? Do 
you want to know what I call it? I call it torture.  TORTURE! Why did 
you do this to him? WHAT RIGHT DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS??? I swear to 
you, if he dies.  . ."  

    "Yes, what if he dies? What will you do then?" Clark suddenly 
tensed, looking at the camera globe hovering above them, knowing that 
millions of people all the way from Earth to Sector 76 were watching 
this.  They would finally get the proof that the aliens couldn't be 
trusted, that he'd been right all along.   

    "Then I will kill you.  Not as a Minbari.  Not as a human.  Not as 
an ambassador.  But as a woman in love, who's willing to do anything 
for the man she loves."   

    The room was suddenly dead quiet.  They had everyone's full 
attention now, even Franklin's, as he was still working on the 
unconscious, bleeding man lying on the floor only metres away from the 
contestants in the drama which they were all observing.   

    "So, you'd be willing to kill me to get revenge.  Just like you 
would be willing to kill thousands of people for the sake of only one."  

    Delenn had calmed down considerably now, G'Kar had let her go.  He 
knew that she had regained control of herself, that despite of her 
grief and anger, she wouldn't openly attack Clark again.   

    "I asked you a question earlier.  A question which you did not 
answer.  Do you remember what it was?"  

    No response.   

    "Then let me remind you.  I asked you if you had ever been in 
love."   

    Still no response.   

    "Is that such a hard question? It only demands a single word as an 
answer - yes or no.  Which is it?"  

    "Love is subjective."   

    "You are right.  Love *is* subjective.  Just like life itself.  It 
all depends on how you see it, who you are.  'The truth is fluid, the 
truth is subjective.  . .' But if the truth is fluid, then how can you 
know if what you have done in this war was right? Love is the most 
subjective thing in the universe, Mister President.  And because of this 
subjectiveness, you cannot understand what is between John and me.  I 
cannot even tell you *why* I love him.  There is no single feeling, no 
single talent or thing he does that makes me love him.  It's not 
because of his eyes, or the way he smells, or the fact that he cannot 
cook.  It is all of that.  It is all the details together, creating one 
person - the person that is him.  I do not expect you to understand it.  
You *cannot*.  And because you cannot understand it, you cannot break 
us apart."   

    Clark had sat down again, his feet were still being wobbly.  The 
physical strength inside that tiny woman had shocked him to his bones.  
She would've killed him if she hadn't been stopped - and the thing 
Clark valued most in the entire universe, was his life.  Nothing was 
dearer to him.   

    "There is no excuse for getting involved with an alien," he said, 
but his voice wasn't as convincing and strong as he'd hoped it would 
be.   

    "I am not asking for your permission.  Humans have had 
relationships with other races before, though many of them were based 
on physical attraction only.  But why does it upset you so much?"  

    "It's not natural."   

    "Maybe not.  But *I* am not natural, at least not in your meaning 
of the word.  I was to become a bridge between humans and the Minbari.  
But maybe it is not me, but my child, who is to truly become that 
bridge between us."   

    Her words were followed by shock in the room.  Nobody could quite 
believe what they were hearing.  A child? Did she mean it seriously, 
or was it just a trick? Was she trying to set them up? Ivanova was 
the first to congratulate, giving her friend a long hug, followed by 
Stephen, who had suspected it all along, being a medical doctor he had 
had his suspicions.   

    "Does he know?" Stephen gestured towards the still unconscious 
Sheridan.  Delenn shook her head.   

    "There was never any time."  Turning towards the President again, 
she continued:  

    "So now the only remaining question is: What do you want? We do 
not want this war any more than you do.  There is a chance that we can 
settle this, at least for a while.  We strongly recommend you to step 
down and give your position to someone who has been elected by the 
people of Earth - but in the meantime, we have a proposition to make.  
Firstly, we guarantee that we will not attack Earth with military 
force.  We will, however, defend ourselves if provoked.  In return, we 
want Sheridan.  We want to start peace negotiations, and we demand that 
the press should be allowed to speak freely, without any fears of 
retaliations.  And we want you to stop the illegal imprisonment of 
innocent humans on aliens, and the torture of these prisoners of 
conscience which we *know* have taken place must stop immediately."   

    President Clark started laughing, he obviously found this whole 
conversation insane.  Or at least he was trying to convince them that 
he *thought* it was, even though he knew deep inside that it wasn't.   

    "Just tell me one thing, Ambassador Delenn - why the hell should we 
agree to this?"  

    "Because if you do not, we will finish what we have started.  We 
will retake Earth by force if necessary - but we sincerely hope that it 
is not.  This is the only way to insure the safety of your planet - and 
your life."   

    The last part about his life must've made a deep impression on him, 
because he stayed silent for several minutes.  No one dared to move, 
not to mention say anything.  Finally he said:  

    "We'll discuss this again tomorrow.  I need to consult my advisors, 
this is not a decision that should be made in a hurry.  In the 
meantime, there will be provided quarters for you and your allies, and 
Captain Sheridan will get medical help.  I guarantee your safety - as 
long as you stay in your quarters and don't try to get any outside 
help."   

                                 ----------

    It was night.  Delenn was sitting by John's bedside, waiting for 
him to wake up.  Stephen had assured her that he would, but nobody knew 
when.  His body needed time to work out the physical traumas it had 
been through, in addition to what had been done to him mentally.  They 
didn't quite know the extent of that part yet.  Sometimes it was a lot 
easier to cure the flesh than the mind.  The injuries to the flesh were 
a lot easier to spot and to acknowledge.   

    There was a window to a garden in the room.  The moon was almost 
full, and the cold moonlight partly lit up the trees and a fountain, 
seemingly filled with liquid silver.  There were still plenty of 
shadows out there, though, unknown and dark, but yet they didn't seem 
dangerous at all.  Not tonight.  Everything was so peaceful.  She had 
never seen the moon before, she had never known that it could have such 
an effect on her.  Minbar didn't have any moons, and even though she 
had been to Centauri Prime on several occasions, neither of its six 
moons had this strange light, reflecting the sun.   

    She held John's cold right hand between her warm ones, silently 
urging him to wake up.  //Come on, talk to me.  Give me a sign that you 
are alive.// Seeing him breathing wasn't enough, she needed to hear him 
talk, listen to his laughter, meeting his eyes and seeing the love in 
them.  //In a way, it is like the moon,// she thought.  //Every time I 
look into his eyes I see my love reflected in them, and I know that he 
sees it in my eyes, too - but I wonder; who of us is the moon, and who 
is the sun? Who is reflecting whom?// Neither - or both, she guessed.  
Sometimes it was hard to distinguish who was whom of the two of them.  
Sometimes they thought alike, acted like one person.  Even though, she 
had to admit to herself, other times it seemed like they came from 
different planets.  Which they did, she added with a smile.   

    She had been so lost in her own world of thoughts that she hadn't 
observed him waking up.  Suddenly she saw all that love in his eyes, 
reflecting or to be reflected.   

    "Hey you," he said, his throat was dry, feeling like sandpaper.   

    "Hey yourself," she answered with a smile, carefully touching his 
sore lips with her fingertip.   

    "Do you want some water?" He nodded eagerly, and she helped him 
drink - probably the first fluid he'd had in days.   

    "This water is so much better than the recycled crap we've got on 
B5," he smiled, and touched her face with his fingers, gently, as if 
discovering her features all over again.   

    "Well, somehow we will get you back to B5 so that you can enjoy 
that 'recycled crap' again.  Lennier and Susan are working on it as we 
speak, trying to work out an agreement between us and the Earth 
Alliance.  And no," she said, her voice sounded more or less like she 
was talking to a child,  

    "-you are *not* going to take part in it.  You are going to get 
some rest, and focus on getting well.  You have done enough."   

    "I know a bit about what's going on.  I heard parts of your 
conversation with Clark."  Her eyes widened, she couldn't believe what 
she was hearing.  Had he heard about.  . . But it didn't seem like he 
had.   

    "You know, I once read that the hearing is the last sense that 
disappears before you die.  I didn't believe in it before, but now I 
do.  You're.  . . trying to work out a peace treaty, aren't you? 
You're doing it because of me?" When she didn't answer, he continued:  

    "You shouldn't put an end to all we have done just to save me.  You 
should've finished it, taken Earth back from the so-called President 
and reinstate peace and democracy.  The man is expendable, but the job 
is not.  You could've taken my place, or Susan, or G'Kar.  You know 
that."   

    "We did not do it just because of you," she said reassuringly,  

    "We did it for the good of everyone involved.  Probably even Clark 
too, unfortunately, but nothing can be only good.  If we had continued 
our race towards Earth, thousands of people would have been killed.  
Many of them civilians.  We are trying to save them.  We hope that this 
way, we can solve our difficulties peacefully.  That was Babylon 5's 
purpose all along, wasn't it? To create peace through peaceful means 
and negotiations, to prevent war through understanding and conversation?
That is what we are doing.  We may not be on B5 now, but its spirit 
is still in us."   

    He nodded, he was too tired to object or worry or question her 
decisions.  He patted on the bed next to him, and she laid down.  The 
bed wasn't meant for two, and he was already taking up most of it, but 
she managed to squeeze in next to him without disturbing him too much.  
She snuggled closer to him, and they just lay there, silently, without 
talking.  He could feel her warm breath in his neck, her warmth seemed 
to calm him down in a way nothing or nobody else could.   

    "Y'know," he said, yawning,  

    "I heard more before.  About what you said to Clark.  About.  . ." 
His hand touched her stomach, and he couldn't hold back a big smile, 
even though every muscle in his face ached.  Their eyes met, and they 
kissed briefly, twice.  Tenderly.  Lovingly.  His hand still as close 
to the new tiny life which they had created together as it could 
possibly be, he fell asleep, with a smile on his face.  Delenn soon 
followed him, the moonlight caressing them as they slept.   

    I pray for one last landing  
    On the globe that gave me birth.   
    Let me rest my eyes  
    On the fleecy skies  
    And the cool, green hills of Earth.   

    -Heinlein- 
______________________________________________________



"Wondrous. . ." was supposed to be a stand-alone story, I never intended 
to write a second part, even though I knew there were some loose ends. 
But then I received an e-mail asking what happens next - and I started 
wondering myself ! Next thing I know, the story has taken a new 
unexptected twist, and I feel as if the persons in it are controling me, 
and not the other way around. . . So Cheryl, this one's for you.
   

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship 
part 2 
miramurr@hotmail.com


    A small, blue planet was - once again - the centre of  attention in 
the known universe. Since humanity's first meeting with alien life out 
there - the Centauri, who had given them the technology to build 
jumpgates, and later on the less successful encounter with the Minbari, 
Earth had become a giant power in the galaxy faster than anyone had ever 
believed they would. Including the Humans themselves, even though many 
of them refused to admit it. The Human fleet was big, powerful - and 
their former allies, the Shadows, had given them access to advanced 
technology not even the Minbari or the Centauri could match. Officially, 
Earth had no Shadow technology, no experiments had been conducted on 
humans and aliens to create more powerful telepaths etc etc,  and the 
whole story which no alien government dared to believe in was repeated 
over and over again.

    No Shadows.

    No experiments.

    Democracy.

    Friendly.

    No unprovoked attacks.

    Peace.

    Everyone had heard it all before, and throughout the galaxy, a great 
number of people were very concerned. They didn't know where this was 
heading, what the Humans could be up to. The political situation was 
unstabile, to say the very least - and the Human way of handling 
problems, responding to threats and behaving only added to the already 
tense situation. Since President Santiago's death, Earth had become 
increasingly isolated from alien influence and contact. With a few 
exceptions, of course. Such as the before mentioned Shadows, and a few 
other races which were considered possible allies in the future. 

    But all this was politics on a high level. The people back on Earth 
knew little of this, being told only what the authorities wanted them to 
hear, and they had little or no contact at all with the other races. 
What had been done on Babylon 5 was extraordinary. The Human population 
there were in a fortunate position, being able to meet and try to 
understand people from every corner in the galaxy. The majority of the 
Humans didn't have such a chance. They were isolated, and the distrust 
and fear of aliens seemed to grow.

    The other powers in the universe, big and small,  were aware of all 
this, and they were watching the political, military and social 
developments on Earth intensely. They didn't trust President Clark, and 
if he was planning on attacking THEIR home world, they were hoping to 
find out about it before Earth ships came knocking on their front door.

    So when the Babylon 5 delegation started the peace negotiations with 
President Clark, they found themselves in the middle of the surprisingly 
watchful eye of at least 30 races. The Non-Aligned Worlds had their own 
representatives there. They didn't interfere directly with the peace 
negotiations, but they were always present, sending heated reports back 
to their governments.

    Eventually, President Clark and Sheridan with his crew had been able 
to come to an agreement which they all could sign without losing too 
much sleep over it at night. Almost. It had taken them two weeks. Two 
weeks of discussion, arguments, failed attempts at reaching out to each 
other, nerve-wrecking waiting and testing the other party's strenght. It 
had been two exhausting weeks, and now they had finally almost reached 
their goal. The next day, the treaty would be officially signed - unless 
something unexpected came up, and they would have to start all over 
again, like they had done so many times already it seemed like a 
nightmare. 

    Sheridan and Delenn were walking in the garden. Hand in hand, trying 
to process everything that was going on, taking a break from all the 
political problems they were entangled  in. The air was crystal clear, 
their breaths coming out like white clouds, much to Delenn's amusement. 
She had never experienced this kind of climate before, and neither had 
Vir or Lennier. G'Kar, having grown up on Narn, was used to rough 
winters and cold, but the three others never seemed to get tired of 
being outside in the snow, or - when they eventually started freezing - 
looking at the unfamiliar white substance through the window, drinking 
warm tea or this strange drink the humans called cocoa. Marcus prefered 
to stay inside - he came from a mining colony, and wasn't very fond of 
snow. Susan kept dragging him outdoors every time they had some time 
off, though. She accused him of being a chicken (and far worse things), 
while making very sure she mentioned cold, dark Russian winters as often 
as possible. 

    John himself had to admit that it was wonderful to see the sky 
again, breathe in the fresh air, knowing that you were on a planet, not 
in a man-made space ship. Earth was something far more than just a can 
of metal. It had history, evolvement, changes, roots and . . . somthing 
endless. 

    It was so much easier to see all this when he was with Delenn. Every 
time he looked at her, he was reminded of how far they had come to reach 
out to each other, even to meet in the first place. They were born on 
different planets, they had different upbringings, cultures and 
religions, still. . . it didn't matter. They had managed to live 
together, peacefully, without forgetting who they were, or where they 
came from. Wanting to tell Delenn all this, but not quite sure how to 
say express his feelings, he said:  

    "I'd like to show all this to you, Delenn," John said. "Earth. My 
home. Not just Geneva, but all the other wonderful places as well."

    "Where would we go ?" she asked gently, tightening the grip around 
his hand. They knew it was just a dream - as soon as they were done with 
the negotiations, they'd have to return to Babylon 5. There wouldn't be 
time for a honeymoon, or going away, just the two of them. But right now 
they had a need to escape from reality, if only for a little while. She 
also sensed that he had something else on his mind, and there had been 
so little time to be together just the two of them lately. . .

    "First I'd take you to Prague," Sheridan began, his voice becoming 
soft and tender from pleasant memories from another time, when war and 
politics hadn't been the main problems or worries in his life. "People 
say that Paris and Venice are the most romantic cities on Earth, but 
that's bullshit. Nothing beats Prague. It has kept its ancient - oh, I 
don't know how to put it - feeling and atmosphere. Paris and Venice lost 
their innocence and mysteries a long time ago."

    "It sounds wonderful, John." Stopping by a fontain, she asked, "Then 
where would we go ?"

    "Then we'd go to St Petersburg. . . we'd have fish'n'chips in 
London. . . be at the carnival in Rio de Janeiro . . . visit the 
pyramids in Egypt. . .have sushi in Japan. . . and then," he said with a 
content smile on his face, "we'd go to a place which isn't that crowded. 
Just you and me. My father owns this cabin in the mountains of the 
northern part of Scandinava. We used to go there every summer when I was 
a boy, it's the most incredible place on Earth - perhaps in the entire 
universe. I bet you haven't been fishing before, have you ?" Delenn 
shook her head. "Well, I'm gonna show you. Nothing's better than the 
smell of newly caught trouts, hardly bigger than your hand, sizzling in 
the frying pan."
  
    "Should I trust you to cook ?" Her expression was totally innocent, 
but the glimpse in her eyes told John that she was just teasing him. 
Apparently, she wasn't willing to forget about his attempt at making 
flarn this easily. He tried to stay serious, but failed miserably.

    "Y'know," he laughed, " I *know* I'm a terrible cook, and that in 
most cases you shouldn't even let me near the kitchen - but I *do* know 
how to fry trouts. It may be the only dish I'm able to prepare, but I'm 
*good* at it. You'll see."

    But this time, neither of them were fooled by his talk about 
travelling, escaping. 

    "Maybe," she whispered, feeling him putting his arms around her, 
holding her tightly, sensing his warmth, knowing nothing of the world 
outside his arms.

    "These past two weeks have only been a reminder of why I joined 
Earth Force instead of getting a carreer in politics," Sheridan sighed. 
Only the expression in his eyes told Delenn how tired he actually was. 
Even now, here, alone with her, he still held up the impression of being 
on top of it all, in control and always alert. But she knew him too 
well. She knew that he was emotionally drained, physically exhausted, 
and still recovering from the torture he had suffered while being 
interrogated by Clark's men. 

    "It will be over soon, " Delenn assured him, while she secretly 
wondered if everything really *would* be over. John's answer told her 
that he was thinking the same thing -

    "Oh, I don't know about that. Perhaps our *real* problems will start 
after we've signed that damn treaty."

    "Yes." Being a Minbari, she never lied. "But we have to give this a 
chance. There is too much at risk in this situation. If there is even a 
remote chance at settling our problems peacefully, then we must try." 

    Sheridan smiled, lifting her face towards his with a hand under her 
chin. 

    "You never give up, do you ? Don't you ever feel like staying in bed 
all day, hiding underneath the blankets, not daring to face the outside 
world because you're afraid of what the universe'd throw at you next ?"

    "Every day," Delenn smiled, kissing him lightly on the lips, "but I 
cannot hide forever - can I ? Somehow we all find a way to face life and 
the world."

    "I don't know how I'll be able to face the rest of the universe 
after signing this treaty, though," Sheridan admitted. "I know a lot of 
people who're gonna be really pissed."

    "I know. It is not a perfect treaty, for either part. There are 
holes in it, there are inconsistencies, and parts of it clearly favours 
President Clark and his regime."

    Sheridan nodded in agreement. "On Earth we have a saying - a good 
agreement is one which neither of the parties like - or something like 
that. I've forgotten. Anyway, the essence in it was that an agreement 
can be good even though it may seem bad in the beginning. I just hope 
that goes for this one, too."


******************


    Twenty hours later, sitting in the biggest room the Earth Alliance 
headquarters in Geneva could come up with to try to fit in as many 
spectators as possible, he still wasn't sure that he was doing the right 
thing. Signing this treaty somehow felt like it was wrong - his warrior 
instincts were screaming at him not to do it, that they could have won 
by force. //Yes, we *could* have won by force,// he thought. //But what 
would it have cost us ? Would the price we'd have to pay be too high ?// 
They'd probably never know. But, as Delenn had put it - if they could 
save one life this way, it'd be worth it. 

    He hoped.

    "I, the President of the Earth Alliance, am pleased to announce that 
the Earth Alliance has come to an agreement with the renegade crew of 
Babylon 5." Clark's first words told a great deal about what was to 
come. He had already made it clear, beyond any doubt, that he was not 
resigning, and that the Babylon 5 officers had been turning against 
*him*, and not the other way. He looked like a cat who'd been locked up 
in a room full of cream. //But sometimes the cat's so greedy it drowns 
in the cream. . .//

    "During the past two weeks we have done nothing but negotiating, 
trying to work out an agreement which satisfies everyone involved. And I 
am proud to say that we have succeeded. The main parts in it are as 
follows. . ." Still, he was the only one speaking. He hadn't given the 
word to Sheridan yet, like many of the spectators had expected. He was 
kept silent, like a child who's been told by his parents that he 
shouldn't speak. Sheridan was fully aware of this, and he didn't like 
it. It was as if he was being overrun by Clark, and there was nothing he 
could do about it. This had grown into something too big for him to 
control. 

    He was finally able to admit to himself how exhausted he was. Only 
standing here, trying to keep his appearances up in front of so many 
people, felt like a struggle. John sometimes wondered how much the 
torture and the brainwashing had *really* affected him. It had been 
nothing less than mental rape, even though it had never come to anything 
like that physically. He realized that Delenn and Franklin had been 
right - he was still in a very vulnerable state, and he shouldn't have 
been doing this. It was too soon - but the universe never seemed to ask 
him when it was convenient to do anything. It never had before, and it 
certainly didn't seem like it was starting now. Sheridan realized that 
his thoughts were drifting off, he had to concentrate on what President 
Clark was saying. He couldn't let down his defenses, not for one single 
second. 

    "Babylon 5 will rejoin with Earth, as it is and will always be the 
rightful property of Earth Force. Its status will be somewhat different, 
though. More power will be given to its commander and the rest of the 
crew, and it will maintain its unique position as a means of creating 
peace. It will still be a "shining beacon in space". Babylon 5 will be 
the headquarters of a group of Minbari and Human warriors, known in 
English as the Rangers. This force will work with our government as well 
as the Minbari, but it will have its own authorities, and neither of the 
two governments will have any influence when it comes to the Rangers' 
decisions in internal matters."

   This had been one of the conditions which Delenn had not been willing 
to give up on, no matter how hard the negotiations had become. It had 
almost jeopardized the peace treaty several times, but she hadn't been 
willing to give them an inch. 

    "Earth will also keep the other colonies, such as Mars and Io - and 
the other renegade colonies will also rejoin with Earth. Amnesty will be 
given to the Resistance on Mars as well as the resistance on other 
colony worlds. However, if they engage in such activities again, anyone 
doing so *will* be found and charged of treason." This statement caused 
some stirring among the spectators. Sheridan closed his eyes briefly. He 
knew that the Mars Resistance would hate him for this, they would 
consider it betrayal. He had given his word that Mars would be freed, 
and now he'd had to go back on his promise. Amnesty was the best he 
could offer them. In fact, they should be grateful that they got amnesty 
in the first place, during almost a week of the negotiations the Earth 
Alliance had demanded that they should be executed on the spot. 

    Finally, Clark made a gesture that Sheridan could tell about the 
rest of the terms in the peace treaty. Sheridan knew what Clark was 
doing - by not telling him about how the press conference was arranged, 
and keeping him in the dark about what he was going to say and when, he 
was hoping that Sheridan would lose some of his concentration, becoming 
insecure. Sheridan wouldn't give the President  the pleasure of seeing 
him stammering while giving his speech.

    "A new department will be created here on Earth. It will be know as 
The Department of Alien Culture and Communication. Its function will be 
very much that of Babylon 5 - ensuring peace through understanding and 
cooperation. Through this new department, Humans will be able to take 
language courses and cultural understanding courses. The first languages 
which will be taught to anyone interested, are Minbari and Narn. Later 
on, as we have the time to find suitable teachers and see how things 
develop, other languages and courses will also be taught. It is 
important to remember, however, that The Department of Alien Culture and 
Communication - known as D.A.C.C. for short - will not try to make 
anyone believe that one culture is more superior than another. Equality 
and respect will be the key words in its work for a better future."

    The Department of Alien Culture and  Communication had been Susan's 
idea, actually. It had come as a surprise to everyone that she would 
make a suggestion like this, but after a while, everyone - maybe except 
Clark - had come to like the idea. Ivanova had said that it would be "a 
Babylon station on Earth", and Sheridan sincerely hoped that Delenn had 
been right when she had said that this department could prove to be the 
most important aspect in the peace treaty. The Humans living on Earth 
had been misled by disinformation about corrupt and aggressive aliens 
for years. It would take time, but perhaps DACC could change come of the 
deep-rooted hatred and fear which seemed to be all over Earth. Fear very 
often comes out of lack of knowledge, and knowledge about other cultures 
might eventually turn into understanding. One race made decisions on 
grounds that didn't make any sense to another race, but if this other 
race was taught *why* the first race did what it had done, maybe they 
would come to understand it. Maybe. It was all a big maybe - just like 
Babylon 5 had been from the very beginning.   

    Sometimes, maybe is all you've got.

    "As soon as possible, there will be held an election here on Earth 
as well as on the colonies to elect a new Senate. Any members of the 
Senate who have been hiding during the past few months, can come out 
freely, without fear of retaliations of any kind, regardless of what 
they have been saying or doing. The presidental election will take place 
in three years, at the time it was due to be according to the  Earth 
Alliance constitution."

    Sheridan took a deep breath after he had said this. The presidental 
election had been one of the aspects of the treaty which had caused them 
most trouble. The Babylon 5 delegation had demanded an election within 
the next six months, since Clark wasn't legally elected - he had only 
taken President Santiago's place after his assassination. Not to mention 
the fact that Clark had been behind the assassination in the first 
place. This violation of the Constitution was most disturbing, and a 
threat to democracy on Earth. But there was nothing they could do, 
except make sure that the election really *did* take place three years 
from now. Sheridan expected President Clark to have a few aces in his 
sleeve, but they did have a few of that sort themselves. And if he 
didn't go through with the election . . .

    He'd have to pay the price. Besides, a lot can happen in three 
years. They'd just have to be alert at all times, and even though 
Babylon 5 was once again a part of the Earth Alliance, its new position 
would give him and the rest of the crew more freedom to make their own 
decisions and - if necessary - keep more things hidden from their 
superiors. 

    "The Night Watch will seize to exist, and everyone who has been 
working for it will undergo a thorough investigation. The Psi Corp will 
also undergo investigations, and telepaths can from now on, if they 
choose to do so, stay out of the Psi Corp. Under the condition that they 
are registered and follow the rules when it comes to for instance not 
doing unauthorized scans. This will decrease the power of the Psi Corp 
and the Psi Cops, but will at the same time ensure the telepaths' safety 
and their future. We are aware of the fact that telepaths have been 
feared by the so-called "normal" population, and that some of the 
telepaths have looked upon themselves as superior to the rest of us. We 
hope to change that. In time, everyone will come to realize that the 
telepaths - like the rest of us - are only Human, nothing more or 
nothing less, and that the rules of equality also affect them and their 
position." Sheridan suddenly saw a movement among the crowd in the room, 
in the back, next to the door. Someone was leaving. A short man, dressed 
in black.

    Bester.

    And he did *not* look very happy. 

    The rest of the meeting was more or less a nightmare. After signing 
the treaty, reporters were swarming all over him and Delenn, as well as 
the rest of the Babylon 5 crew, for hours. They asked all kinds of 
questions, about politics, about their relationship, about their 
upcoming wedding, the baby, about aliens in general, about his 
involvement with the Vorlons, the Shadows, Z'ha'dum. . .

    Finally, all of them - Delenn, Sheridan, Ivanova, Marcus, Franklin, 
G'Kar, Lennier and Vir - were in Ivanova's quarters,  having dinner 
together and relaxing for the first time that day. G'Kar was having a 
discussion with Marcus about strange Human eating habits, still trying 
to figure out how to use a knife and a fork properly.

    "Yes, you hold the fork in your left hand, and the knife in your 
right. . ."

    "Why ?" G'Kar asked, puzzled. "What difference does it make ? What 
if I hold the knife in my left hand and the fork in my right hand 
instead ? Or what if I hold both of these strange instruments in the 
same hand ? What's the purpose of a knife which you can't even kill your 
meal with, anyway ?"

    Marcus tried hard to hide a smile. "Well, the meal is supposed to be 
dead by the time it's served. . ." 

    The rest of them were too exhausted to take part in the discussion, 
but they found great pleasure and relief in hearing the two of them 
talking about things which had nothing to do whatsoever with politics or 
media or any other issue involving serious matters.  But finally, they 
had to change topics, talking about things which were a great deal more 
serious.

    "So, what do we do now ?" Susan asked, taking a sip of vodka. She 
had finished eating, and found the Russian vodka in Geneva excellent. 
Even though you could get most kinds of liquor on Babylon 5, getting 
hold of vodka had become increasingly difficult during her time there. 
You could get cheap vodka anywhere, the kind that turns your stomach 
upside down the next morning. But real stuff was harder to find. 

    Nobody answered. Finally Sheridan said:

    "We have to return to Babylon 5 as soon as possible. We have already 
been away for too long, and I don't like having Zack in charge of 
everything for such a long time. And then. . ." He sighed, resisting the 
urge to hide his face in his hands, "we have to try to keep things 
together. The next couple of months we'll have to watch everything 
closely, making sure that the peace treaty is being held. I suppose it 
won't be easy. I don't trust Clark for a second."

    But they had no idea how hard keeping things together would 
eventually become. Not just on Earth, but on Babylon 5 as well.  


END PART 2
______________________________________________________

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship   
part 3
miramurr@hotmail.com


    Delenn was lying on an examination table in MedLab, dressed in a 
white hospital gown, the kind the patients in MedLab wore. Franklin had 
insisted from the very beginning that he should monitor her pregnancy 
closely.

    "Is everything all right ?" Delenn asked, sitting up. Her face was 
eager, she was blossoming. Some women become like that when they are 
pregnant - full of energy and expectation, as well as a quiet strength. 
She was vibrant in a way Dr Franklin had never come across before, as if 
she was carrying a secret nobody knew about, which - come to think of it 
- in a way she did.

    Franklin smiled reassuringly, showing her a photo. It was an 
ultrasound pic, showing a tiny little creature. The baby.

    "Everything's fine, Delenn. Are you sure you don't want to know the 
sex of the baby ?" 

    Delenn nodded, smiling. "It does not matter if it is a girl or a 
boy, whatever it is, we will welcome it with love. John is convinced 
that it will be a boy, he even keeps calling him 'David'. I do not know 
why, though. But I. . ."

    "You're not so sure ?"

    "I think it is a girl. Call me superstitious if you want to, but I 
just have a feeling that it is a girl. Can I take this ?" She gestured 
towards the photo.

    "Of course. I'm sure John'd love to see it." 

    She took a closer look at the photo, not quite able to believe that 
this was the baby she was carrying. Her pregnancy hardly showed yet, you 
had to know that she was pregnant to see it, and still . . . The baby 
was already a perfect miniature person, even the fingers and toes were 
perfect. One could see the Minbari external scull, too, its main 
heritage from its mother. Not conscious of what she was doing, her hand 
touched her stomach, knowing that this little baby was living within 
her, growing stronger and bigger every day. A part of her - and at the 
same time it wasn't. 

    She didn't even notice John's arrival. He walked into MedLab, 
wearing his Earth Force uniform. Since signing the peace treaty less 
than two weeks ago, the command staff of Babylon 5 had started wearing 
their EA uniforms again, as an outward sign that the station was once 
again part of the Earth Alliance. In a way, it felt good - they weren't 
all alone anymore - but it was also a bit scary, knowing that they were 
giving away so much freedom to make decisions. During their year or so 
of being on their own, maybe he had become too used to being the boss, 
Sheridan thought. After all, he was an EA officer, and it was hard to 
get used to answering to anyone higher in the chain of command again. 
Pushing those thoughts away, he gave his wife a hug, and kissed her 
briefly. He saw the special shining light in her eyes, which she' had 
ever since she had gotten pregnant. 

    "How's my son doing ?" Delenn handed him the ultrasound photo, and 
for a moment which seemed like an eternity he was breathless, looking 
for the first time at the tiny person they had created together. 

    "John, why do you keep insisting that it is a boy ?"

    "One day, I'm gonna tell you - are you still convinced that it's a 
girl ?" She nodded, and John smiled;
"Well, we'll see."

    Franklin interrupted the friendly argument which millions of 
expecting parents have had throughout history.

    "It's good that you're here too, Captain. I need to talk to both of 
you." His face was stern, and he sat down by his desk, motioning that 
Delenn and Sheridan should sit down in the two chairs facing him. 

    "Delenn, you know that since your transformation, your body is part 
Human, part Minbari. The problem is that we don't know just how Human 
your body really is." 

    Delenn grabbed her husband's hand, the smile disappearing from her 
face. Her throat felt dry when she silently asked:

    "Dr. Franklin, what are you trying to tell us ? I mean, is there 
anything. . ."

    "I'm not saying that anything is wrong, Delenn. I'm just saying that 
we can't know what to expect in this pregnancy. We have to be prepared 
for anything. The baby is developing faster than a Human fetus, but 
slower than an average Minbari one. Humans are pregnant for an 
approximate period of nine months, while a Minbari woman carries her 
child for only six months. I think that you might be somewhere in 
between, but we have no idea exactly *when* you are due to give birth."

    Delenn nodded, slightly relieved. She had already figured this out 
on her own, since she'd found out about her pregnancy, she'd done some 
reading on human pregnancies in the medical database . She had found 
that a lot of the information was right for her, too, but not all of it. 

    "That is one of the reasons why I need to monitor your pregnancy 
very closely, Delenn. I want you to be on a diet, and you should check 
in on us here in MedLab at least twice as week. If there's *anything* at 
all you worry about or feel insecure about, you have to contact us 
immediatly. But as long as you make sure to get enough rest and listen 
to the signals your body is giving you, I expect everything to be just 
fine. And just one thing. . ."

    He pointed at the baby's external scull on the ultrasound photo.

    "You can clearly see the signs of the baby's Minbari heritage. 
Unfortunately, this makes it harder, if not impossible, for you to give 
birth to this child in a natural way. I strongly recommend a Caesarean 
operation, since I doubt that your body would be able to give birth to a 
full tirm baby with a Minbari external scull. Do you understand ?" 

    "Yes. Thank you, Stephen. Thank you for being honest."

    He smiled, giving them two more photos of the fetus. He noticed the 
way neither of the coming parents could tear their eyes away from the 
little wonder whose image they now saw for the first time.


**********************


    Things were smouldering. Not just on Babylon 5, but on Earth and the 
colonies as well. President Clark might have signed the peace treaty, 
but he still *did* have a few aces up his sleeve. The first signs of 
this were already starting to show. Ivanova and Marcus were the first 
ones to notice. They  were in C&C, going over reports while at the same 
time watching ISN. They weren't really paying attention to what was 
going on on the vid screen, but suddenly Marcus stiffened. His eyes were 
fixed on the screen, all thoughts of the Ranger reports had vanished.

    "And if we increase the number of . . . Marcus ?" Ivanova looked up 
from the paperwork, slightly annoyed. She *hated* paperwork, and this 
was going to take forever if Marcus didn't concentrate. Preparing to 
give him in for it, she looked towards the screen, too, to see what had 
caught his attention. What she saw effectively made her shut up.

    A dark man in his late thirties was reading the news, and a video of 
a burning transport tube appeared in the top left corner of the screen.

    "Two hours ago, on the Mars colony, there was a fatal accident with 
one of the transport tubes between the Spaceport and the Mars Residental 
Area Number Four. The cause is not yet clear, but it appears as if one 
of the data circuits in the second engine had a meltdown. Mars 
authorities say that they have no reason to suspect that this terrible 
accident was deliberatly caused  by someone wanting to destroy the peace 
process between the Earth Alliance government and the renegade officers 
along with the alien fleet on Babylon 5. There four deceased were all 
Mars residents - Tara Rafael, 31 years old -" a photo of her appeared on 
the screen. When Susan saw Marcus' reaction to the picture, she 
understood that something was seriously wrong. Her anxiety increased 
while the ISN reporter continued reading the rest of the casualty list - 
"Fran Johnson, 5 years old -" a photo of a lovely dark-haired girl 
appeared on the screen, and as the reporter continued speaking, two more 
photos were shown  - "Michael Chow, 45 years old, and Laura Seito, 21 
years of age. Now over to the sports section. . ." 

    "Off." The vid screen turned black, and Ivanova turned towards 
Marcus. "Do you mind telling me what that was all about ?"

    "The three adults who'd died in the transport tube accident -" his 
voice was barely a whisper - "they were all members of the Mars 
resistance." 

    "*All* of them ?" 

    Marcus nodded. "All of them. The first woman we saw - the blond one, 
Tara Rafael . . . she was known only as Number One. I didn't know the 
names of the other two, real of fictional - but I got the impression 
they were some kind of second in commands, making the decisions when 
Number One wasn't there."

    C&C was very silent. The two of them were the only ones in the room. 
There were no incoming ships scheduled for two hours or so, and Ivanova 
was the only one on duty. She loved this late night shift, when she was 
all alone - just her and the stars, the fantastic panorama unfolding 
before her eyes. No emergencies, no hurrying, just being one with the 
universe. But now, all of a sudden, it wasn't that soothing anymore.

    "Makes you wonder, doesn't it ?" Marcus' voice was still dangerously 
low.

    "Wonder what ?" Ivanova was asking against her better knowledge. She 
knew what he meant.

    "If it was a coincidence."

    "You know, it *could* be just that. A coincidence. Every now and 
then, people die in accidents which are no more than simply. . 
.accidents." She could hear herself how naive that sounded.

    "Yes. And other times people die because they were murdered - by 
someone who wanted them out of the way. In two seconds, three of the 
most prominent leaders of the Mars Resistance have been wiped out."

    "But they were given amnesty by the President - and besides, what 
about the little girl ? She doesn't fit in. Would they kill a child, 
just to get the three others ?"

    Marcus gave her a wry look.  "I thought you were the sceptic ? 
Always paranoid, always believing the worst ?"

   "You know what I mean."

    "Yes, I do. I just think it's too much of a coincidence, that's all. 
Number One was the leader of the Mars Resistance, and I don't think for 
one second that she'd be willing to give up her fight to free Mars just 
like that. Remember the promise from Sheridan which Stephen and I gave 
her. I guess she was really pissed because we didn't go through with the 
attack and made sure that Mars was freed. I'm willing to bet one week's 
salary that she was going to the Spaceport to leave Mars - for Babylon 
5."

    "You know, that's not a fair bet. I make at least five times as much 
money as you do."

    "I know. But it's still worth checking out."   

    But they didn't find any files on Tara Rafael - Number One. 
According to the Earth Alliance birth records, she didn't exist, and she 
never had existed. Same with Fran Johnson. The only Michael Chow they 
found had died 35 years ago, and Laura Seito was, according to the 
files, 89 years old, she had been born both death and blind and had 
never uttered a comprehensible word. 



**********************



    It wasn't just Mars. Back on Earth, too, "accidents" kept happening 
to some of the former Senate members, who had come out in the open again 
after months hiding from President Clark. One of them died in a 
hovercraft accident. Another died when his boat capsized while he was 
fishing. A third one died of a heart attack. 

    Clark's forces had been very dicreet and very thorough. The 
hovercraft accident had effectively wiped out one of the most rebellion 
politicians in the Senate, who had never tried to hide his opinions 
regarding Clark's regime. The accident, in which four other persons also 
died, was just an ordinary one. Thousands of them happened every year. 
The driver of the second hovercraft had been high on Centauri drugs. No 
wonder he didn't manage that turn. And everyone knows that fishing in an 
old, rotten boat can be dangerous, especially when one is tempted to 
drink while fishing. And the heart attack - hell, that happens all the 
time with middle aged men who have a predilection for cigarettes and 
unhealthy food.

    Modified telepaths weren't usually involved in heart attacks, 
though. 

    This particular telepath had taken part in a Shadow/Psi Corp 
experiment which hadn't worked out quite as planned. The intension was 
to create genetically modified telepaths who were able to shut down the 
electric curcuits on hostile space ships from a distance. Unfortunately, 
their telepathic powers hadn't been strong enough, their systems 
couldn't handle the stress. They only managed to burn out a few 
lightbulbs, and when they had tried to increase their telepathic 
strength, a number of . . . unfortunate mutations and brain damages had 
occured. So the experiments had been a rather embarrassing failure - 
until someone suddenly had started to recall his freshman biology 
classes, in which he had learned that the human nervous system is also 
based on tiny electrical charges. Thus this telepath - one of the very 
few who hadn't undergone further experiments to increase his telepathic 
abilities, with disastrous results - had started trying to shut down 
biological nervous systems. Working his way up from frogs to cats to 
horses, and finally to humans, he was able to shut down the nerve going 
from the brain to the heart. When no electrical signals were sent 
through the nerve anymore, the heart's beating would stop, and you'd get 
a very realistic heart attack, which wouldn't show up on an autopsy. 

    Brilliant.

    At least according to President Clark.



*******************



    On Babylon 5,  people were talking. Talking about the current events 
which had taken place both on the station, on Mars and on Earth. Talking 
about Sheridan, and about Delenn.

    "She must be some kinda which, y'know. She's put a spell on him or 
somethin'."

    "Yeah, why'd a human fall in love with an alien, huh ? It's a spell, 
I'm tellin' ya. . ."

    "They agreed to the peace treaty only to save each other. They're 
afraid, y'know, and they don't really care about anythin', so long as 
they can be together."

    Things were starting to happen. Not just among the Human population, 
but among the aliens as well. 
People were starting to doubt on what grounds Sheridan, Delenn and the 
rest of the command staff had made their decisions. Decisions which 
ultimately affected their lives as well. There were also rumors that 
Sheridan, the One, had changed since his capture. That he had become 
weaker in one way, and harder in another. Some people claimed that 
experiments had been conducted on him. That someone had been "messing 
with his brain".

    Why had Sheridan given in to Clark's forces ? Why had he signed that 
peace treaty, when he had been so determined to overthrow Clark only 
weeks before ?  


END PART 3
______________________________________________________

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship   
part 4
miramurr@hotmail.com

    "With all due respect, Mr President, stationing fifteen Psi Corp 
telepaths on Babylon 5 was not a part of the peace treaty." Sheridan's 
voice didn't reveal his irritation. The President insisted on assigning 
fifteen telepaths on the station, claiming that they would make it 
easier to keep things on the station under control. Sheridan had 
insisted that everything already *was* under control, but Clark was a 
bit too up to date on what had been happening ever since the treaty had 
been signed. There was no way he could deny that they'd had more riots 
than usual, four murders, more problems with stowaways in customs, and a 
great deal of general unrest and agitation.

    "Captain, this is not a request."

    "If you send these telepaths of yours to Babylon 5, they will be 
rejected in customs. We already have one telepath on the station, and 
that's enough. I won't have fifteen more of them poking around."

    "Do I sense a certain distrust of telepaths, Captain Sheridan ?"

    "You're right, Mr President. I don't trust them - or to be more 
exact; I don't trust the Psi Corps. According to the peace treaty, I 
have full personal authority to deny *anyone* access to Babylon 5. And 
that's exactly what I'm doing right now." 

    Four years ago, denying an order given by the president himself 
would've been unthinkable for Sheridan. What had happened since he got 
stationed on Babylon 5 had changed him, in many ways. Some were probably 
bad, he admitted to himself, but some were good as well. He didn't know 
the President's reasons for wanting to station *fifteen* P10 to P12 
telepaths on B5, and he knew that if he asked, he wouldn't get a 
straight answer. He'd just get more lies, more disinformation. 

    Unfortunately, he'd been right when he had predicted that signing 
this peace treaty would get them into the *real* problems. 

    He closed the communication channel, and returned to his daily 
reports. They were bad, to say the very least. Everything was seemingly 
calm in most sectors, but that was only the surface. What was underneath 
it was what he was really afraid of. And Down Below. . . He'd openly 
admit that they *did* have problems now and then with people from every 
corner of the galaxy living in such a limited area. That was to be 
expected, and there was generally a great sense of distrust towards the 
authorities among the Down Below residents. But it rarely went as far as 
open assaults in the middle of the day, in the most crowdy and 
supposedly safe areas. It was very disturbing. The Department of Alien 
Culture and Communication and the rest of the terms in the peace treaty 
were supposed to make both humans and aliens learn about each other in 
order to create peace, but ever since the signing of that damn treaty, 
everything seemed to be twice as bad as usual. He didn't know what was 
happening, what was causing this violence and - fear. 

    Ivanova entered the room, and he didn't see her black eye until she 
turned towards him, and the light fell on her face. 

    "What the hell happened to you ? Marcus didn't give you a lesson 
with the Minbari fighting pike, did he ?"

    Susan smiled, despite her dark mood. "Not quite . . . I got involved 
in the fighting in Down Below earlier today. Just the ordinary. Some 
Drakh claiming that a Narn had stolen his credit chip. Next thing I 
know, the entire place is in ruins, and the Narn is lying on top of me, 
with an elbow in my eye. He got it worse than I, though. I've just been 
to MedLab to see how he was doing."

    "He alright ?"

    "Well. . . more or less. At least he will be. He won't be dating 
anyone for a while, though."

    Sheridan leaned back in his chair, frowning. He hadn't had any sleep 
in almost forty hours, and he'd had to cancel his dinner with Delenn two 
nights in a row. For the last two days, all he'd seen had been reports, 
more reports, and Earth bureaucrats trying to convince him to station 
those telepaths on Babylon 5. 

    "What is *wrong* on this station ?" His voice was low, hoarse, and 
the dark circles under his eyes as well as the expression on his face 
told Ivanova how tired he was. She knew the feeling. She was just as 
beat herself.

    "I don't know. All I know is that since we came back from Earth, 
everything has gone to Hell. Everyone is at each other's throats. We 
never seem to get a break."

    "Did you hear that President Clark wants to send fifteen of his 
strongest telepaths to Babylon 5 ?" 

    Ivanova shook her head, suddenly tense. He knew how she felt about 
telepaths, and he also knew her reasons. "Judging by the look in your 
face, you refused." It wasn't a question, she was merely stating a fact.

    "Yep. I don't want any more telepaths on this station than we've 
already got. I trust Lyta, but the rogue telepaths in Down Below. . ." A 
thought suddenly struck him. "You don't suppose they're behind the riots 
in Down Below, do you ?"

    "I don't think so. I mean, it's easy to blame telepaths for 
everything, and we don't really have any control over them. . . But I 
don't think the telepaths are the real problem here. I asked Lyta about 
it, and she didn't seem to believe that the rogue telepaths had any 
reasons to start any trouble. You know, we've actually made it possible 
for them to come out in the open. They can join the Psi Corps again, on 
new and completely different terms. But. . ."

    "None of them have ?"

    "No. It's almost like . . . like . . ." Susan was searching for the 
right words. "Like they know what we know deep inside, too. That this 
peace treaty isn't going to work out. Maybe all the riots and the unrest 
among the population is some kind of a response to that."

    "Maybe." Sheridan rose from his chair, walking towards the big 
screen projector on the far wall. It was showing a video of Earth seen 
from space, filling the entire wall. It was filmed on a relatively sunny 
day, some cloud systems could be seen around the central part of Africa, 
but the view was splendid. 

    "She's beautiful, isn't she ?" He touched the video screen with his 
fingers, brushing gently across the almost incredibly blue Atlantic 
Ocean. "Sometimes it's hard to remember what we're actually fighting 
for. But then I see this projection of Earth, or I see Delenn, or any of 
my friends, or a new-born baby in MedLab. . ."

    Susan stifled a chuckle when he mentioned the word "baby". "It's 
really all that's on your mind lately, isn't it ? The baby ?"

    "I wish it could've been. But with all that's been going on. . ." He 
shrugged his shoulders. "The fight isn't just for us, y'know. If it had, 
then we could've gone through with the attack. We could've gotten rid of 
President Clark, and really *done* something. But if we had retaken 
Earth by force, then. . ."

    "Ultimately, the innocent would've had to pay the price."

    Sheridan nodded, relieved that she understood. Sometimes it felt as 
if he was the only one who understood why he'd made his decisions, it 
was hard to have to justify your opinions every day, explain them to 
everyone. He could hear himself that his explanations didn't always make 
sense. At least not to everybody. But how could they even pretend to 
understand the pressure he was constantly under ? All the hard decisions 
and sacrifices he'd have to make ? It's so easy to complain about those 
in charge, he thought, but they have no idea what it's *really* like to 
hold the destinies of so many people in your hands. Tick - they're alive 
- tock - they're dead. Just like he had been on Z'ha'dum. The only 
difference was that the others weren't aware of how close they were to 
disaster - to tock.


********************************


    There were only three people in the President's office. Not the 
official one, with crystal windows, photos of former presidents and 
flags and signs of honor on every wall. No, he was in his stricly 
unofficial office. The office which he personally checked for bugs every 
time he entered it. He was the only person in the whole universe who 
knew the access code. The only other person who had known it - the 
person who had installed it - had died in an unfortunate case of food 
poisoning two days after the office was finished. There were no windows, 
no plants, no photos, nothing. Except a desk, a chair and a one way 
computer screen. Thus, his two guests had to stand, as there were no 
chairs for them. Clark had done this on purpose, he was the *only* 
person who was allowed to feel familiar in this room. Located 200 metres 
below the Earth surface, this was one of his means of escape if the EA 
headquarters were fired upon by hostile forces.

    His guests were Alfred Bester, P 12 telepath, and Heidi Gilbert, 
head of the President's  secret research center.

    "Mr Bester, I assume you've heard that Captain Sheridan has denied 
the fifteen telepaths access to Babylon 5 ?" 

    Mr Bester had an uneasy look on his face. He had been put on drugs 
which blocked his telepathic abilities. This was the only way he was 
allowed to enter the President's office. Clark didn't want any mind 
scans - even though this Psi Cop knew quite a lot about what was going 
on, he didn't know *everything*. And Clark intended to keep things that 
way. It was rather satisfying, actually - take his special powers away 
from him, and all you were left with was an ordinary man. 

    "Yes, Mr President, I did. I can't say that I'm surprised. It was a 
mistake to try to send so many of them to Babylon 5 at the same time. 
Captain Sheridan isn't stupid, he must've figured out that there was a 
reason behind it. The crew of Babylon 5 isn't very fond of telepaths, Mr 
President. Commander Ivanova has her own personal reasons for hating the 
Psi Corp - there was an . . . incident with her mother, who was a latent 
telepath - and they've had problems with the telepaths assigned to the 
station before."

    "Exactly what kind of problems ?"

    "Well, unfortunately, they found out about a Psi Corps project - 
creating spies by planting artificial personalities within a person's 
mind. They've also come across another experiment of our's - a failed 
attempt at increasing the strength of telepaths. And this new telepath - 
Lyta Alexander. . . let's just say that we don't trust her. She's had a 
lot to do with the Vorlons, and we don't know exactly what they have 
done to her. She *has* been modified, though, and we would very much 
like to know how - she seems to be functioning rather normally. I'm 
afraid I can't say the same thing about the telepaths we have attempted 
to modify. However, we'll find out about that - in time." Bester didn't 
seem to be willing to tell anything about what he meant by that. 

   "The real problem is," President Clark said, leaning back in his 
chair, watching Heidi Gilbert shift uncomfortably before him, "that we 
don't have enough control over what's happening on Babylon 5. Because 
the telepaths have been refused access to the station, we have to find 
out what to do about this situation in another way." Since they had 
signed the treaty, he had believed that Captain Sheridan would in time 
come to accept the military chain of command again. They had been 
"independent" for some time, but Clark had hoped that Sheridan's 
savagery would be over. Once he had become accustomed to the common 
military routine - follow the orders of one's superiors blindly - Clark 
would have had control over Babylon 5 again. However, that didn't seem 
to be happening.

    President Clark did still have some contacts on the station.  Ever 
since all his Night Watch spies had been kicked out of Babylon 5 - well, 
almost all of them - he couldn't choose his allies that freely any 
longer. True, some of his contacts weren't very reliable - but even 
though they sometimes got the details wrong, they usually could be 
trusted when you put their stories together and looked at the big 
picture. And now, his sources told him about the problems the commmand 
staff had had trying to maintain peace and order on Babylon 5. About the 
distrust of Sheridan among some groups, Down Below residents in 
particular, but others as well. The regular reports he reiceived from 
Babylon 5 told him a great deal, too. They were incomplete, and they 
didn't say one bit more than they had to, but they couldn't hide the 
fact that the number of violent crimes had increased greatly. Just the 
reports themselves were a matter of concern. By signing the peace 
treaty, the Earth Alliance had agreed to give Babylon 5 more freedom, 
but the reports he received from the rebellion space station were so out 
of the blue, so carelessly done that the President suspected they were 
doing it on purpose. And the less he knew about the situation, the less 
power did he have. This was one of the many things he had to sort out. 
Fast.

    "The alien influence Captain Sheridan is under must be stronger than 
we had anticipated," Heidi Gilbert said. She was in her late thirties, 
and she would've been quite attractive if she hadn't had this cynical 
look in her eyes. She was a brilliant and very devoted scientist, and if 
she had any opinions regarding President Clark and his politics, she 
didn't reveal them. Her feelings were hidden behind an armour of 
something hard and distant. What was important to her was science and - 
as she had once put it - "figuring out the universe". Unfortunately, she 
didn't seem to be interested in how her research was used later on, 
which is not a very good quality in a scientist.

    "And I think we all know where the main alien influence comes from," 
Bester added. Of the three of them, he was the one who had had most 
contact with Sheridan and Babylon 5. Clark had only met Sheridan during 
the peace negotiations, and Gilbert's only knowledge of him came through 
his files and secret reports on him. Neither of them had been to Babylon 
5. Bester had, several times, and he had met Sheridan on many occations. 
He had, however, been rather reluctant to tell them about his own 
personal opinons about Sheridan, but refusing to share knowledge was - 
after all - common for a telepath and a Psi Cop in particular. 

    "So - what do we do about it ?" Clark observed the two persons in 
front of him closely. Bester's face didn't reveal his feelings, but 
Gilbert had got a new look in her eyes. He had seen it before - he was 
about to get a long, complicated science lecture. He braced himself for 
the inevitable. 

    "We could try to get rid of this alien influence - by breaking up 
Sheridan's marriage."

    Bester started laughing, and the sight of the little Psi Cop 
actually laughing was so shocking that Clark had problems keeping his 
appearances up. "And just how do you intend to do that ? You have never 
met these two, Miss Gilbert. I don't know what it will take to break 
them up, but it won't be easy. Their relationship even survived 
Sheridan's late *wife* returning from the dead !"

    Gilbert was getting annoyed, she wasn't used to anyone doubting her 
ability to do *anything*. "I don't talk about bringing in ex-wives of 
-husbands, or any other soap opera cliché. The best way to get to them, 
is through the bastard baby they are expecting. By losing the child, 
they'll have other things to worry about than politics and the Earth 
Alliance for a while. And I think I know how to do it."


********************************


    "Captain - are you aware of what people are saying ?" Marcus' face 
was wary, not sure how to tell this to Sheridan, who was, after all, 
married to Entil'Zha. 

    "Who are saying what about who ?" Sheridan wasn't looking at the 
Ranger, his eyes were focused on the projection of Earth, three 
dimensional, showing the image of the planet as it had been about six 
hours ago. That was the time it took to transfer the three dimensional 
image through the ordinary  low-priority channels. 

    "People in Down Below. About you and Delenn." That caught Sheridan's 
attention, suddenly turning away from the blue globe hovering in one 
corner of the room, looking at Marcus. 

    "What are they saying about us in Down Below ?" Sheridan could 
clearly see that something was wrong. Marcus wasn't very good at hiding 
his feelings, especially not when it came to something which was 
obviously important to him, too. 

    "The Human population are talking about how Enthil'Zha has 
influenced you. That you have changed. That ever since Z'ha'dum you have 
become increasingly. . . alien. Some are talking about experiments 
conducted on you by the Shadows - in other words: that you are a Shadow 
agent. This has caused great concern among the residents in Down Below. 
And not just among the Humans."

    Suddenly, it all started to make sense. Why things were going so 
wrong, what was *really* going on in Down Below - as well as the rest of 
the station. They were afraid. Both Humans and aliens were afraid, but 
for different reasons. The Humans were afraid that he had become too 
alien - and the aliens were afraid that he had become even *more* alien. 
All the pieces of the puzzle were falling into places. "Have you told 
Delenn ?"

    Marcus shook his head. "No. I didn't want to disturb Entil'Zha. She 
has been so happy ever since she found out about her pregnancy, and. . . 
there hasn't been that many reasons for her to be happy lately."

    "Thanks." Marcus deliberatly looked away from him, until Sheridan 
finally made the Ranger meet his eyes. "We'll find a way to handle this 
on our own. There is no need to disturb her." 

    When Marcus had left the office, Sheridan sat down by his desk. He 
knew that Delenn was going to become really angry with him when she 
found out about this. She wouldn't tolerate any more secrets, and she 
always wanted to be there when important decisions were made. Even if it 
was for her own good, she wouldn't like it. But he had never seen her 
this happy - and he didn't want her to know that their marriage wasn't 
very popular among some groups. Surely she must've known that everyone 
wasn't that fond of a marriage between a Minbari and a Human - but still 
. . . She'd have to endure a lot since her transformation. Being 
something in-between both races was incredibly hard, and he didn't think 
that anyone but Delenn would have the strength to through it.

    Suddenly, a thought occured to him. Something he hadn't really 
thought about before. Their child would have to go through all that, 
too. Never really being accepted. Being partly alien for both the two 
races he'd consider his own kind. At least Delenn had had a choice - but 
they were making this choice for him. 

    David. 

    Their son. 

    He was convinced that this was the child Delenn had talked about 
when he had met her in the future. So when he had heard about her 
pregnancy while he was partly unconscious, he hadn't been surprised.

    David wouldn't get an easy life. Because of who his parents were, 
he'd probably never really be at home anywhere - perhaps except on 
Babylon 5. It was the only right place for the first hybrid (God, he 
hated that word !) child ever to grow up. Among parents who loved him, 
and a crew who'd accept and love and spoil him as if he were their own 
child. 

    Little David Sheridan might get a difficult life, but his parents 
would do everything in their power to give him strength to face always 
being an outcast. Because they had given him the most important gift of 
all - life.    


********************************


    Customs on Babylon 5 had picked up many stowaways lately, but they 
didn't get all of them. Finding everyone was impossible - and now Zack 
had missed the only two he'd *have* to find. The only ones who could 
pose a real danger to the residents on Babylon 5. But of course, they'd 
hidden well. They had every advantage on their side. Including nobody 
knowing about them. 

    It was almost too easy.


*********************************


    "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't go out all on your 
own, Delenn." Sheridan's worried face filled the com screen. "There has 
been so much unrest lately, and . . .." His voice trailed off when he 
saw his wife's stubborn face. 

    "John, are you going to keep me in my quarters, with four armed 
guards around me at all times until the baby is born ? Do not be silly. 
I am more than capable of taking care of myself." She was going out to 
do some shopping, and simply to get away from her ambassadorial duties 
for a while. Lennier had insisted on following her, but she had refused. 
She needed some time to think, and she couldn't do that with her aide 
following her every step. He was unvaluable, and a close friend, but 
sometimes his constant presence became a bit annoying. Unfortunately, 
Lennier had talked to Sheridan as soon as she had rejected his request 
to go with her, and she now had to face a worried husband who was just 
as insistent as her attaché.

    "John. .  . please. The last time I checked, my personal files told 
me that I am a grown and responsible person, and I do not need anyone's 
permission to buy some flowers for our quarters !" That was the end of 
the discussion, and they both knew it. When she had that look on her 
face, he might as well give up.

    "At least stay away from Down Below !" 

   Delenn rolled her eyes when John mentioned Down Below. "Where would I 
get flowers there ? Besides, I have started preparing flarn. I thought 
that I should show you what it should *really* be like." She made a 
gesture towards the kitchen, and even from a distance he could see 
ingredients, bowls and even some Minbari crystals lying in neatly shaped 
patterns on the kitchen unit. "But I need those flowers if I am to 
prepare the dinner. You see - there is a ritual. . ." She knew that 
would make him shut up. Once she started talking about Minbari rituals, 
he usually found a way to either end the conversation or to change 
topics. Or - he would give in to her.

   "Ok, but be careful !" His face got a tender look when he said, "I 
love you," and he heard her answer "And I love you, too," before Delenn 
left their quarters, and Sheridan returned to his meeting with the Gjok 
ambassador. 

   Almost too easy.


***************************


    Delenn had never felt this *alive* before. It was as if the child 
she was carrying had increased her ability to feel, to smell, to love - 
and to live. She wasn't suffering from morning sickness, and today she 
had felt the baby kick for the first time. She hadn't told John yet, she 
didn't want to do it over the com. She was planning to tell him over 
dinner tonight. Involuntarily, her hand carressed her stomach, the 
slight curve which was starting to show. A few more weeks, and no one 
would be able overlook her condition. 

   Humming, she struggled to enter the code to open the door with her 
hands full of  flowers and groceries.  She lost a packet on the floor, 
and she was about to bend down to pick it up when someone handed it to 
her. She could only see this someone's arm, the brownish skin, covered 
with spots - and when she saw the person's face, she already knew that 
it was a Narn.

   "Thank you, " she said, her warm smile brightening up her face. 

   "You're welcome," the Narn answered, but as she was about to turn 
away from him to open the door, she suddenly felt a sharp sting in her 
arm. She barely had time to see the needle in the arm, some yellow 
liquid being injected into her arm before she collapsed on the floor, a 
red butterfly undfolding its wings on her dress.

END PART 4
______________________________________________________

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship   

I'm not going to pretend that I'm good at biology or chemistry. I'm just 
a poor 3Bi/3Ch student, but give me another six and a half years, and we 
can talk about it ! However, at the moment I'm just making up more or 
less crazy "scientific" explanations to many of the strange phenomena 
occuring in my story. I don't really have a clue, but I have to solve my 
problems somehow - so I invent something. They do it *all the time* on 
Star Trek, and I think the writers on The X-Files and maybe even The 
Great Maker do that sometimes, too. Bear with us. And if you can't - be 
forewarned. You'll see more of it later !

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship   
part 5
miramurr@hotmail.com

"Dem Vater grauset's, er reitet gescwind,
Er hält in Armen das ächzende Kind,
Erreicht den Hof mit Müh' und Not;
In seinen Armen das Kind war tot."
From "Erlkönig" written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe



    It seemed as if he had lived his whole life during the past few 
minutes. Since he'd gotten the frantic message from Med Lab to "come 
quickly", everything had been one huge blur. The nurse had said that 
there wasn't any time to explain, but as she was about to close the com 
channel, he heard someone crying out in pain behind her. He knew that 
voice. 

    It was Delenn. Calling out his name.

    He hadn't even made any excuse to the Gjok ambassador, he had just 
fled the place, without a word to explain. By using his security 
override of the elevators, he was able to reach Med Lab twice as fast as 
he normally would. But it just wasn't fast enough. Delenn's cry of pain 
was haunting him, he could hear it over and over, as if the repeat 
phrase function on his com was stuck, and he had to listen to the same 
phrase being repeated over and over again. He desperatly tried to make 
the voice shut up, and concentrating on running and not stumbling into 
everyone he met in the hallway. But he was deaf and blind, the only 
thing he could hear was Delenn's voice, the only thing he could see was 
Delenn's face as she had said ". . . and I love you too. . ." just two 
hours ago. The image and the sound didn't match each other at all, the 
bizarre contrast between the beautiful and happy face and the 
animal-like cry was making him crazy. Or perhaps crazier. 

    Two hours since they had talked. It couldn't possibly be two hours, 
could it ? No, it had to be more. An eternity. That's what it was. Just 
last night, in another life, he'd had Delenn in his arms, soft and warm, 
loving and tender, passionate despite her little guest. 

    Seeing the entry door to Med Lab as if far away, in a dream, grey 
fog drifting before his eyes, he was surprised to discover that he 
suddenly was able to touch the door frame with his fingers. Scared to 
death, not aware of the tears streaming down his face, he stumbled 
inside. The first thing that caught his attention was the blood on the 
floor. A nurse was about to clean it up, and she froze when she saw the 
Captain. 

    "Captain Sheridan. . . " He didn't listen, in fact he hardly saw 
her. He bent down, touched the still warm and liquid blood with his 
fingertips. His words were caught in his throat, he was paralyzed. He 
could see someone moving in slow motion towards him, one of the Med Lab 
doctors, but he didn't recognize her. She was just an obscure 
*something* moving towards him, telling him something, but all he could 
see was her mouth moving, he didn't hear the words. It took about all 
the will power he had to focus enough on her voice to make out what she 
said: "There has been an. . . incident with Ambassador Delenn. . . " 

    That was all he needed to react. "Where is she ?", he shouted, he 
could hear himself that his voice was far too loud, but he couldn't do 
anything to control it, because it wasn't *him* shouting, it was someone 
else, in another life, another dimension, another time. When the doctor 
didn't answer, he pushed her aside, and began searching for his wife, 
without direction or any sense of planning.  

   Finding her didn't turn out to be hard, though. He could hear a faint 
whimper, someone crying, and again she called out his name, obviously in 
so much pain it was killing him to listen to it. This last cry lasted 
for an eternity, and this time it wasn't just him believing it did. When 
it eventually died away, everything was quiet. Too quiet. He finally had 
the courage to look around another corner, and saw Delenn lying on an 
examination table, obviously unconscious. Unconscious or *dead*, a nasty 
voice inside his head told him, but he quickly silenced it. She was 
unconscious. Of course, she was unconscious, she couldn't be dead ! Not 
Delenn, he was supposed to die before her, not the other way around ! 
Her was dress torn and bloody, and standing about a meter away from her, 
Franklin was holding something. A small bundle. Too small. Far too 
small.

    The baby.

    He saw it moving, its arms were only the size of a tiny doll's, and 
it opened its mouth as if wanting to scream, but no sound came out of 
the incredibly small mouth. Then the baby twitched, and lay still in 
Franklin's hand, its body not long enough to cover it. Sheridan looked 
at the sight in horror, at the stone-like expression on Franklin's face, 
his hands, covered with blood, holding his little baby. It was so sick. 
That was the only word he could've used to describe it if his mind 
hadn't been that numb. The whole world was sick, everything was like one 
of those horror-shows which had been so popular when he had been in his 
teens.

    Franklin finally noticed Sheridan, just standing there, lifeless. 
There was no use in trying to hide the dead fetus from him, he had 
already seen it, in all its fragileness and prematureness. At last, it 
seemed as if Stephen was able to focus on his job, he had been caught in 
the same trance as Sheridan. For couple of seconds the shock and horror 
had been too much to bear, but as a professional he had to forget about 
his personal feelings, and save his grief and tears for later. One life 
was lost already, and if he didn't do anything, he might lose another as 
well.

    Turning to lay the baby in a box provided to him by a nurse, he 
turned towards Delenn. "Get him *out* of here !" Franklin's voice was 
angrier than he had intended it to be, but still it didn't cause a 
reaction from Sheridan, still standing on the same spot like a statue. 
But when a nurse tried to escort him out of the room, it was as if he 
had awoken. 

    "I need to be here. . . it's Delenn. . .! I'm the commanding officer 
of this station, you can't just tell me to leave, I'm your superior 
officer, you. . ."

    "You are his superior officer, Sir, but in Med Lab Doctor *Franklin* 
has the highest authority. There is nothing you can do for her in there 
now, they need to concentrate on  their job, without being distracted. 
If you'll just follow me. . ." As if talking to a small child, she 
managed to maneuver him out of the room, into another smaller one down 
the corridor - close to the room where Delenn was so he could come 
quickly if anything happened, but too far away for him to hear any 
screams or cries coming from her. 


*****************************************


    Back in Med Lab, Franklin was doing his best to save Delenn's life.

    "We *have* to stop that bleeding !" he shouted, knowing that they 
couldn't give her a blood transfusion. With her unique bodily chemistry, 
giving her blood from either a Human or a Minbari would kill her just as 
surely as the blood loss. Five doctors and nurses were working 
frantically on her, fighting against the clock, not daring to look at 
the face encircled by dark hair, becoming paler and paler by the minute. 

    Finally, the bleeding stopped. It wasn't one minute too early - the 
blood loss she had suffered would've killed a Human. Her Minbari 
heritage was the only thing that saved her, Minbari bodies could endure 
a lot more than a Human. But just a few more minutes, and Franklin knew 
that nothing in the entire universe could've saved her. As it was. . . 
she would survive. If she wanted to, the only one who could fight for 
her was herself.


******************************************


    Ivanova and Franklin were in Med Lab, discussing the recent events 
on Babylon 5. To be more exact: they were discussing Delenn's 
miscarriage, and the events surrounding it. Delenn still hadn't regained 
consciousness, and Ivanova had forced Sheridan to stay in his quarters. 
She didn't want him to walk around on the station in the mental state he 
was in now, and bringing him to see Delenn could only make the situation 
worse. Surely, there was a chance that his presence could make her wake 
up - but there was also a chance that he would break down, or upset her 
too much if she awoke. As it was, Ivanova was afraid to trust him. She 
could only imagine what the past two hours had done to him, and she had 
placed three guards outside his door, making sure he didn't leave 
without her knowing about it. 

    She didn't think he'd commit suicide. Even in the state he was in 
now, she couldn't imagine John actually doing that - hurting himself 
with the intension of dying. Life was too precious for him, especially 
after what had happened on Z'ha'dum. But to be on the safe side, she had 
removed his PPG without him noticing it, and the scanners in the room 
were picking up his life signals, if anything happened they'd know about 
it almost before Sheridan did himself. 

    "What the hell happened, Stephen ?" Ivanova's voice was tired, not 
so much because of the time as because of the stress she was under. 

    "We don't know yet. It could of course be just a normal miscarriage. 
. . I mean, that happens rather often, and in Delenn's case, it was 
impossible to know what to expect. But the surveillance camera tape. . . 
and the needle injection in her arm. . ." He shook his head. "We have 
taken blood tests, and we found remainders of the substance in it. We 
are still trying to analyze it. But I can assure you, from years of 
experience, that it isn't like anything I have ever come across before."

    "Is it alien ?" 

    "I didn't say that. With all that's been going on lately . . . there 
is no way of telling yet. Maybe we'll know more when we get the test 
results."

    Ivanova nodded, lost in her own thoughts. She hadn't seen the fetus 
- even if Stephen had asked her to, she didn't know if she'd be able to 
do it. By not seeing the baby, maybe she would manage to make herself 
believe that the whole nightmare was a bit less real, if only for a 
little while. Seeing Franklin's face, she knew she wasn't the only one 
feeling helpless, terrified and angry right now.  Finally, she was able 
to find the courage to ask a question she hadn't asked yet. "Was it a 
girl or a boy ?" 

    "A girl."

    "Oh." That was all she found air in her lungs to say. What else was 
there to say, anyway ? After a long silence, Susan finally said: "John 
was so sure that it was a boy." Stephen had never heard or seen Susan so 
devastated before. She had always been so strong, or at least she held 
up the impression of being strong and in control. Now, she had let her 
armors down, and for a rare instant, the vulnerable woman behind her 
protective face of steel and dark humor appeared.

    "Delenn thought it would be a girl. Pregnant women can often feel 
that, you know. Somehow, they have this feeling that. . ." His voice 
trailed off. Wanting to talk about something else, he asked: "Have you 
told John's parents ?" 

    Susan shook her head. "No. I guess I should. I mean, I checked the 
outgoing com channels just a few minutes ago, and nobody had called them 
- I suppose John's too shocked to think of it. Maybe him telling them 
isn't such a good idea, anyway. He was so far down that. . ." 

    Their conversation was interrupted by G'Kar, who entered Med Lab. 
The look on his face clearly told them that he had heard the news - 
along with almost every living being on the station. But when he entered 
the room, something simply went off in Ivanova's brain.

    "You fucking murderers. . . Who do you think you are, huh ? Killing 
unborn babies ? What the . . ." Her verbal attack wasn't really aimed at 
him, G'Kar, it was just a way to get rid of some of her tension and 
frustration. G'Kar should just consider himself lucky that she didn't 
attack him with something a lot more solid than only words.

    "What are you talking about ?" G'Kar was as troubled by what had 
happened to Delenn as the rest of them, and this attack by Ivanova had 
been completely unsuspected. 

    "You mean. . . you haven't heard ? What happened in the hallway ?" 
When the Narn ambassador shook his head, Dr Franklin continued: "We have 
the security tape of the incident. I'll show it to you." He turned 
towards the screen on the far wall. Soon, they could see the recording 
from the security camera on it. At first no one was in sight, but soon 
the camera turned to face the other part of the hallway, focusing on the 
only living being in its range with the help of heat-sensors. They could 
see Delenn's image, a bit blurry due to the dodgy quality of the tape - 
since their break with Earth, they hadn't had enough funds to modernize 
their surveillance equipment, and during the weeks since the peace 
treaty had been signed, there hadn't been any time to do anything about 
it. It wasn't hard to make out what was going on, though. 

    Delenn, carrying lots of groceries and flowers, was trying to open 
the door to her's and the Captain's quarters, and as she was losing 
something on the floor and she bent down to pick it up, two other 
persons appeared on the screen.

    G'Kar took a deep breath. He suddenly understood Ivanova's outburst 
at him. 

    The two persons were both Narn. There was no way to mistake the 
special color of their skin, their clothing, their appearance. He closed 
his eyes briefly as one of the assailants injected something brown and 
nasty looking into Delenn's vein, and she collapsed on the floor. The 
two of them disappeared out of the camera's reach, and it focused on the 
bleeding Delenn, convulsing on the floor.

    "Stop record." 

    Franklin's words were followed by complete silence in the room. Both 
Ivanova and Franklin were staring at the Narn ambassador, who was still 
trying to fully understand what he had just seen.

    "I don't understand. . ." he began, his eyes still staring at the 
now blank screen, ". . .why two *Narns* would have any interest in 
making sure that Delenn lost her baby." The two Humans didn't answer, 
until Stephen said:

    "Do you recognize these persons ?" Neither of them were very 
surprised when G'Kar shook his head.

    "No, I don't. But I do *not* know every Narn on the station. . ." 

    "We have already cross-checked the station records with the faces on 
the recording. They are not among the residents we know about. Which 
means. . ." G'Kar completed Susan's sentence - 

    ". . .that they live in Down Below. Stowaways."


**********************************************


    Slowly, carefully, she approached the bright light. It was so far 
away, blinding her eyes, yet it was possible for her to look straight at 
it. Coming closer, though she didn't know how she had moved, she reached 
out her hand to touch it. It didn't have any substance, any body, just 
energy. Like Kosh. It reminded her so much of Kosh, the old one, the one 
she had thought she knew. She realized now that she hadn't. No one could 
fully understand the first ones, unless they were one of the first ones 
themselves. 

    As her hand melted into the ball of pure energy, she started feeling 
her body returning to her again. It had been lost for so long, like her 
brain didn't have any connection with her body. Not because it wasn't 
able to have one, but because it didn't *want* to. Living like this was 
easier, a lot easier than awakening and finding out that. . . something 
she didn't want to admit to herself. She knew what it was, but refused 
to acknowledge it. But as her body returned to her, so did the pain. As 
the light grew less intense, her pain took over its place as the 
something blinding her. Not only her eyes, but her entire being, the 
numbness of her body decreasing as she regained control of her eyelids. 
It was as if she had been born all over again. No, not born. . . maybe 
she  had died all over again. 

    The effort almost more than her exhausted body and mind could 
handle, she opened her eyes. There was another bright light hanging over 
her, a lamp perhaps, but this one wasn't as bright as the one before, so 
she was able to look straight at it. If her eyes hurt because of the 
light, then she didn't feel it, because the pain she already felt in the 
rest of her body was far greater, and far more scary. "John ?" She 
didn't quite know where her voice had come from, but as she slowly 
recognized the face in front of her, she knew he wasn't there. It was Dr 
Franklin.

    "Delenn ? Can you hear me ?" She tried to nod, but she couldn't. She 
didn't have any strength left, but she still managed to keep her eyes 
open. 

    "She'd dead, isn't she ?" Before Dr Franklin had time to answer her 
question, she drifted off again. Off towards. . .something.


*********************************************


    "Personal logg, Dr Stephen Franklin, February 14, 2261. 

    We have finally managed to analyze the substance used to abort 
Ambassador Delenn's fetus. It is unlike anything I have ever seen 
before, and it isn't in any of the station's registers, neither Human 
nor alien. But the analysis did come up with some facts regarding its 
origin. It is organic, but it appeares as if it has been cloned somehow. 
How, or why, or by whom, I don't know. The DNA analysis was very 
interesting. . . The bases found in the DNA were adenine, tymine, 
cytosine and guanine. These bases are the same as in all the organic 
beings on Earth, Minbar, Narn, Drakh, Kay'lõ and Rett. They are what 
ultimately decides a person's genetic make-up. All the other races who 
have undergone studies and are in the Babylon 5 medical files, have 
different bases in their DNA, or their systems of reproduction work in 
another way. Thus, the substance is probably only effective on beings 
from either of the six planets on which the residents share the same 
bases.

    There is only one DNA sequence which differs from the rest of the 
material - this is the part which I suspect has been cloned. The bases 
in it are totally different, and I haven't found any matches in any 
archive I have come across. These bases appear to be self-destructive, 
and within four hours after the incident, the rests of the substance 
were destroyed. The analysis we have is obviously not as detailed as we 
might have wished for, but it is better than nothing.

    It appears as if its purpose was solely to provoke abortion. 
Ambassador Delenn's systems have not suffered irrepairable damage, even 
though her body is still in a state of shock. The self-destrucion of the 
substance caused it to be out of her body within four to five hours. 
This wasn't enough to kill the Ambassador directly, unless she had died 
of blood loss. But, the victim it was ultimately aimed at - the unborn 
child - got a massive dose of the substance, and died instantly. 

    We have not been able to trace this medicament back to its source, 
neither Human nor alien. The security camera reveals that the assailants 
were Narn. This draws suspicion towards the Narn homeworld, especially 
since the organic beings there all hold the same DNA bases which were in 
the sample.  The main counter-argument against this theory is that the 
Narn have never been known for extensive cloning or research programs 
which producing such a substance would require, and that the planet's 
economy and scientific expertice are still in crisis since the Centauri 
invasion. Even though they are once again freed, rebuilding up their 
academical system takes time. 

    A search through the entire Down Below for the two Narns seen on the 
record proved useless. They were not found, but that does *not* 
necessarily mean that they weren't in Down Below. There are plenty of 
places to hide down there, which only residents there would know about. 

     Delenn has regained consciousness for shorter periods of time, but 
it appears as if she is still struggling *not* to wake up. She has been 
under severe stress, and she is probably suffering from shock. Captain 
Sheridan is still in his quarters, refusing to talk to anyone. 

    So, at the moment we have more questions than answers. The substance 
found in Delenn's blood shortly after the incident is gone, and since we 
still haven't found out where it came from, we are unable to find out 
exactly how it works. Right now all the personell on the station are 
searching for the guilty parties, and everyone's sympathy goes to 
Captain Sheridan and Ambassador Delenn - and the daughter they lost.

    End personal logg, February 14, 2261.

END PART 5
______________________________________________________

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship

I don't know the name of John's mother. I couldn't even find it in the 
Lurker's Guide, so I just called her Nancy. Maybe she has another name, 
or maybe it's never been mentioned at all, but I needed a name for my 
story, so I chose the first one which came to my mind. My sister's in a 
Nancy Drew period, maybe that's why ? Still only some season four 
spoilers, depending of what you make of it. Since this story is becoming 
increasingly alternate as storylines go, I don't really think you'll 
find any big spoilers in here. NO season five spoilers !



Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship
part 6
miramurr@hotmail.com


". . . we give you to the stars. For you were born of the stars, and 
that is where we will eventually meet again - in a place where no 
shadows fall." Ivanova's face was stern, her voice was soft, yet in 
official mode - but she didn't reveal her feelings until she said; 
"Sleep in light, little one." One single tear found its way down her 
cheek as she said her final words, and she gave the computer orders to 
start the space funeral program. The heartbreakingly small casket was 
shot out of Babylon 5, sent towards the closest star. Little Hope Delenn 
Sheridan, who never got to get more than just a taste of life until it 
was all over, wouldn't get a grave on Earth for her parents to visit 
when their lives felt as if they had stopped. Instead she would find her 
grave in a star, her fragile body becoming one with the universe in a 
matter of seconds. 

    John was standing next to Susan, almost paralyzed. He had asked his 
second in command do perform the ceremony, even though it was rightfully 
his responsibility as the station's Commander. But Ivanova understood. 
It didn't take much imagination to figure out that Sheridan would never 
manage to speak in his own daughter's funeral, he would never be able to 
endure the emotional stress. He had been through so much already, and 
the man who was standing next to her, seemed to have become ten years 
older in only four days. He was a broken man, his grief threatening to 
tear him apart. 

    Delenn wasn't much better. 

    She wasn't attending the ceremony. Since she had awoken, she hadn't 
spoken to anyone. It was as if she was in a trance, like she tried to 
protect herself from the pain by pretending it didn't exist. Escaping 
into another world. No one knew what went on inside her head these days. 
Delenn didn't reveal her feelings to anyone. When Franklin had asked her 
if she wanted to attend little Hope's funeral, she had only turned away, 
staring at the floor, her hands tightening around the white quilt cover. 
She hadn't uttered a single word, she hadn't cried, screamed, cursed 
anyone, nothing. In a way, it would've been less frigtening and horrible 
if she had. But she locked up all the grief inside her, like Sheridan 
also did.

    Hope Delenn Sheridan.

    Sheridan had come up with the name, when Susan had asked if Delenn 
and he had decided a name for the little one. She had been afraid to ask 
him, afraid that she'd trigger his anger. She knew that they hadn't 
decided a name for the baby before the miscarriage, he would have told 
her. He hadn't been able to stop talking about the baby they were 
expecting. And after the miscarriage. . . Delenn and John had hardly 
talked with each other at all. John had visited her once, but he had 
more or less escaped from the room after less than five minutes, 
refusing to tell anyone what had been said or done during his visit. 
Judging by the look in his eyes, meeting Delenn hadn't helped either of 
them. Two hours later, Ivanova had found Sheridan dead drunk in a bar in 
Down Below, and Delenn had started refusing to eat. Dr Franklin was 
getting desperate, forcing his patient to eat - and she didn't even 
resist actively. She just sat there, motionless, looking at something 
that only she could see. The Minbari way of handling grief wasn't very 
good for a person who was half Minbari, half Human, and in addition to 
that had just undergone a severe physical trauma. She needed all the 
physical strength she could get, but when it came to the mental strength 
she needed to pull herself out of her own private hell, there wasn't 
anything any of them could do. Maybe John would have been able to help 
her, but they were both so caught up in their own nets of denial and 
guilt and fear that they didn't speak to each other. Hardly to anyone, 
but especially not to each other. So when Ivanova had asked her superior 
officer what he'd call his baby, because she needed a name for the 
records and the ceremony, she hadn't expected the answer to come so 
quickly, so softly. He had simply said "Hope. . . Hope Delenn Sheridan." 
Nothing more. He had met her eyes, almost for the first time since the 
assault, and she still wasn't able to tell what she had seen in his eyes 
at that instant. 


***************************************


One week after Delenn's miscarriage, they were still at square one. 
Their investigation was going nowhere, they hadn't found the two Narns 
who had conducted the misdeed, their only clues were a blurry security 
record and a strange substance which had self-destructed. Sheridan and 
Delenn weren't talking to each other, and since Delenn had gotten out of 
Med Lab, Sheridan had moved back into his old quarters. Alone. It seemed 
like their pain was so all-consuming they weren't able to look at, not 
to mention talk to, the only other person who truly understood what the 
other one was going through. 

    The only good news in the rather desperate situation, was that the 
station was considerably calmer. Nobody knew exactly *why*, but since 
the assault on Delenn, the atmosphere on Babylon 5 could be described as 
nothing less than apathetic. There weren't any more riots in Down Below, 
and no violent crimes had been reported. Security had nothing to do - 
except trying to figure out what had actually happened. 



**************************************


Ivanova and Marcus were standing in customs, eagerly awaiting their 
guest -  Mrs Sheridan, John's mother. John didn't know anything about 
this, they had more or less smuggled her aboard the station. Well, maybe 
not smuggled, they had just made sure that Sheridan didn't get hold of 
the files which were dealing with incoming passengers that particular 
day. He had been diving into his paperwork lately, so it wasn't that 
easy, but Susan and Marcus were afraid that if the Captain found out 
about his mother's arrival, he might refuse to see her, or deny her 
access to the station. In the mental state he was in these days, he was 
capable of doing that. He pushed away everyone he loved and cared for - 
including Delenn, who was doing very much the same herself. They handled 
their grief in almost the same way, but they still weren't able to 
comfort each other, hold each other, cry together. 

    It hurt too much.

    Finding  Sheridan's mother wasn't very hard. Even if Susan and 
Marcus hadn't seen her photo in John's personal file, they would've 
recognized Mrs Sheridan instantly. 

    "Mrs Sheridan," Ivanova said, her voice low. She wasn't quite sure 
how to handle this visit, when she had asked John's mother to come to 
Babylon 5 it had been a mere impulse. 

    "Please, call me Nancy," Sheridan's mother said, her voice warm 
despite her pale face and the dark rings under her eyes. For weeks she 
had lived in the dark about where her husband was, and she hadn't seen 
her son in years. When her husband had finally been returned to her, he 
had been so ill she had been reluctant to leave him, not even to be able 
to visit her only son and his wife-to-be. He still wasn't well enough to 
travel, but Nancy Sheridan had had to go to Babylon 5. Even though she 
knew David Sheridan had wanted to go, too, wanting to do something - 
*anything* - for his beloved son, his doctors had refused him to go on a 
hyper space trip. He might never get out of hyper space again.  

    The loss of her only grand-child had obviously affected Mrs Sheridan 
deeply. She hadn't said so when Susan had talked to her about a week 
ago, she had been too shocked, her mind hadn't really absorbed the news 
yet. 

    Now it had. 

    "This is Marcus Cole, one of the Rangers living on Babylon 5." They 
all shook hands, and exchanged quick greetings before Susan continued; 
"I think we better get out of customs. John might show up, and I kinda. 
. . haven't told him that you were coming."

    They started walking towards Marcus' quarters, which were quite far 
away from both Sheridan's and Delenn's. "How are they doing ?" Nancy 
asked, and there was no need to ask who "they" were. 

    "Not so good," Marcus sighed. "They have hardly talked to each other 
since the. . . accident. Sheridan's burying himself in work, and Delenn 
refuses to talk to anyone. She has more or less locked herself in inside 
her quarters. Physically she's a lot better, but mentally. . ."

    "They are both refusing see psychiatrists, and they won't talk about 
what has happened to anyone. I know it isn't fair to you," Susan said 
apologetically, "I mean. . . this is hard for you, too, but I just 
didn't know what to do."

    "Have you found out who did it ?" Nancy's face and appearance were 
so similar to her son's that Susan found it hard to concentrate. For a 
short second she was horrified to discover that she was actually jealous 
of John, who had such wonderful parents. His mother wasn't haunted by 
invisible ghosts only she could see, forced inside her mind by drugs 
given to her by the Psi Corps. He'd had the stabile, loving childhood 
she had never had. Pushing those thoughts away, she answered:

    "No. We have the security records of the incident, and it appears as 
if two Narns were responsible."

    "It *appears* ? If you have video tapes of who did it, how can you 
*not* be sure that two Narns were behind it ?" 

    Susan just shook her head. "This is Babylon 5. And here, you can't 
be sure that *anything* is what it might seem to be in the beginning."



****************************************


Zack was in his office, almost falling asleep over his reports. He 
hadn't had any sleep in over 48 hours, his men had been working around 
the clock ever since the incident with Delenn, and they still hadn't 
found anything. They hadn't found the two Narns responsible, and since 
they'd had restrictions on Narn residents leaving and entering the 
station ever since they found out about the security records, they *had* 
to be somewhere on the station. But where ? They had even searched 
through Down Below, a never-ending and dangerous job which had never 
been done before. But they hadn't found anything. A few thousand illegal 
residents, some minor criminals and so on, but not the two they were 
searching for. The illegal residents wouldn't be kicked off the station. 
Where would they go, anyway ? They weren't their main problem right now. 

    *Who* were the persons that killed Delenn's baby ? 

    He argued with himself whether he should hit the sack or go over the 
reports once more. He was exhausted, probably too exhausted to fall 
asleep anyway, so he decided to just stay there, trying to see patterns 
where he hadn't found any before.

    "Computer, double-check the images on security tape number 134487 
slash 87 with the records we have of *any* Narn we have in *any* 
archive. Not just the station files, but also the files on the Narn 
homeworld as well as on Centauri Prime."

    It took the computer a few minutes to process all the data, but - 
like the other five times he had tried - it didn't come up with 
anything. Zack knew that not all Narns were in any files on neither Narn 
nor Centauri Prime. Since the war, many records had been lost or 
destroyed, and they hadn't been properly replaced with new ones. Many 
were still hiding all over the galaxy - either because it was convenient 
for them, or because they were afraid of repercussions if they went 
back. Not everyone on the Narn Homeworld had opposed the Centauri 
mastery.

    Zack continued going over reports and journals, coming up with 
nothing - as usual. He was about to go back to his quarters and get 
about four hours of well-deserved sleep when he tried the last  way out 
he could think of. "Computer, check energy profiles on the station at 
the time in question." He wasn't really paying attention when the 
diagram of the station appeared on the screen. He was far too tired, his 
eyes felt like sandpaper, and he had problems focusing on the screen. 
   
    The diagram showed the inner structure of Babylon 5, the station was 
translucent, so one could see all sectors. The energy used or produced 
in any part of the station showed up as highlighted areas, ranging from 
blue to intense red in the enormous main reactors. He didn't see 
anything in particular. Some colored spots here, some others there. So 
what. Better to hit the sack, once and for all. As a last shot, he tried 
something he hadn't tried before, simply because it hadn't seemed 
relevant. He hadn't seen any reason to do it, but right now he was so 
tired he didn't think clearly.

    "Computer, compare energy profile to average profile."
    
    "Prosessing - stand by." The monotonous computer voice only helped 
making him even more tired and sleepy. Finally, the computer was done. 
"Showing irregularities on energy profile compared to standard energy 
profile." Some blinking, red lights appeared on the screen. Most of them 
were very small, and showed only minor differences which could be caused 
simply if someone by accident short-circuited their hairdryer.

    Suddenly, he was wide awake. There was a major irregularity in the 
ambassadorial sector. At the time when Delenn had been attacked. The 
intense, red light was bigger than the rest of the lights scattered 
randomly all over the station. Rising from his chair, he  walked towards 
the screen, his voice was hardly audible when he said: "Computer, how 
big was the deviation in the ambassadorial sector ?"

    "1547 percent," the computer answered.

    "Cause ?"

    "Unknown."


*************************************


    Mrs Sheridan had stopped in front of her son's door. Everything was 
so quiet on the station these days, Commander Ivanova  had told her, it 
was almost spooky. She could tell that this silence was one of the 
things that really worried the stern commander. Her son had talked about 
his second in command once, how she had "her own personal ghosts to 
fight", as he had put it, and having met Susan in person, she knew that 
it was true. She didn't know why Susan kept building these walls, but 
there had to be a good reason. 

    She hesitated before she pushed the chime button. When had she ever 
been reluctant and even afraid to face her son ? Not since the first 
time she had seen him after Anna's death. Then, like now, she didn't 
know what to tell him, what to do. She had been so glad when John had 
told her, about a year ago, with a shy light in his eyes, that there was 
someone on the station who. . . Nancy hadn't known that it was Delenn, 
though, not until she had seen her on ISN.

     She pushed the chime button twice more, but there wasn't any 
resonse. She *knew* that he was in his quarters, Commander Ivanova had 
told her that he was, he just didn't want to open. She tried once more, 
not wanting to give up. Finally, she heard his answer, his voice tired 
and slightly annoyed -

    "Open, for heaven's sake." 

    Her son wasn't looking towards the door when she entered the room, 
he was lost in some paper work.

    He looked like hell. That was the only way to describe him. His 
uniform was in order, and he was shaved and everything, that wasn't the 
problem. But his face was so drained and pale, his eyes red and dry from 
lack of sleep, and the expression in them was - almost gone. 
   
    "Aren't you even going to greet your mother when she comes to visit 
you ?" Nancy said, meeting her son's gaze when he sent her a shocked 
glance. 

    "Mom." John rose from his chair and gave her a swift, impersonal 
hug. "What are you doing here ?"

    "I heard what happened to Delenn." 

    "Who told you ?" He had turned his back towards her, seemingly very 
busy making some tea, in reality just wanting her to go, and leave him 
alone.

    "Susan." 

    Sheridan swore, and even though Nancy knew he didn't intend her to 
hear it, she did. "She always sticks her nose in where it doesn't 
belong," he muttered. The tea can hit the warmer with such force it 
almost broke, the clinking noice was the only sound breaking the silence 
in the room. He spilled some water on the kitchen unit, and when his 
mother handed him a piece of paper to clean it up with, she forced him 
to meet her eyes, so blue, so very much like his own. 

    "I'm sorry, John. I'm so sorry." She touched his arm, gently, she 
wanted to hug him, but sensed that right, now her only son couldn't bear 
her touch. "Is there anything I can do ?" 

    John shook her head. "She won't talk to me, Mom. And I can't say I 
can blame her." 

    "What do you mean ?" 

    The steaming hot tea was finished, and he carelessly poured her a 
cup, then hesitantly prepared one for himself, without really wanting to 
have one, but he needed to keep his hands preoccupied with something. 
"It's my fault, Mom. Everything is my fault. If I hadn't been the person 
I am, Delenn would never have to go through all this. I *knew* that she 
might be in danger because of the child she was carrying. And still - I 
didn't do enough to protect her. In fact, ever since we met I haven't 
done anything but hurting her." His voice was so harsh, so unforgiving 
towards himself, so hurting. He kept stirring his in his tea with a 
spoon, adding more and more sugar. The sugar which wouldn't dissolve 
gathered in the bottom of the cup, and he tried to dissolve it as well 
without really thinking about what he was doing. 

    Hurting Delenn. . . She was the last person in the entire universe 
he'd want to hurt. But now, looking back at the years in which he had 
known her, wasn't that exaxtly what he'd done, over and over again ? He 
suddenly remembered their first time. When he, despite her trust and his 
best intentions, hadn't been able to hold back, to give her the time she 
needed. The years of celibacy since Anna's death had simply been too 
much, and his blind passion caused him to lose control, hurting her when 
he broke through. He hadn't really understood how badly he had hurt her 
until afterwards, when he had seen the blood and felt how she had 
shrinked under his hand when he had touched her. That was when he had 
realized that she had been a virgin, which he *should* have known, or at 
least expected. Close to tears he had begged her to forgive him, trying 
to explain, but she had silenced him with a soft, tender kiss. The tears 
of pain were still visible on her face, but she had insisted that it 
would be alright, there was nothing to forgive, she should've told him, 
and there'd be another time. 

    But now, looking back at how he had treated her, this act which 
should've been a joining of two lovers and not just a selfish one-man 
race, it only added to his burden of guilt. He had let her down - again. 
Delenn had been right about those other times, though. He hadn't touched 
her again that night, afraid to hurt her even more. He had just held 
her, and despite her pain she seemed to be enjoying just lying close to 
him, feeling his warmth. But two nights later they had tried again, and 
this time he hadn't given in to his desire,  this time he had focused 
only on her and how to make her writhe beneath his touch, how to make 
her forget the pain and the disappointment. They were hardly the first 
couple in history who'd had to go through a painful and tough period of 
getting used to each other, but he couldn't forget the tears he had 
caused her to spill. The pain she'd had to endure because of *him*. And 
now - he'd done it again. Only this time making it alright again would 
be impossible. This time there would be *too* much to forgive.        

    "Sometimes you hurt the persons you love, John. That's just the way 
it is, even though you love them so much you can't protect them from 
everything. You can't protect them from *living*."

    "You don't understand, Mom," he whispered. He couldn't tell her 
about what had happened when Delenn and he had become intimate for the 
first time, that would be breaking the trust between the two of them, 
but there were so many other things for which he blamed himself. They 
weren't necessarily under his control, there wasn't always anything he 
could've done to prevent them from happening, but he didn't see that. 
"I've hurt her, over and over again. When Anna came. . . and I followed 
her to Z'ha'dum. She almost starved herself to death ! She did it for me 
! I can't bear that kind of responsibility for her life, not for her. . 
." He was pacing the floor, not able to sit still, he *had* to do 
something. If he didn't, he'd go crazy.  "And when I returned from 
Z'ha'dum - you should've seen the look in her eyes when I told her that 
I have only twenty years left to live."

    If John had looked at his mother at that instant, he would've seen 
and realized that he hadn't even told his parents what had happened to 
him. About how he had died, and come back, but only for a limited time. 
But he didn't look at his mother, and Nancy was smart enough to pretend 
as if nothing had happened. Hopefully, there would be a time for 
explanations later - but right now, she didn't want to add to her son's 
burden. As much as the thought of losing her only son hurt her, seeing 
*him* hurting like this was even worse.

    "And then, when I followed Michael to Mars despite everyone's 
advice. . . and when they rescued me. . . God knows what it must've cost 
her to defend me - *us* - in front of the whole galaxy like that." 

    "She did it because she loves you," Nancy said, scared of what was 
coming next, because she could see that there were even worse things, 
worse accusations, to come. "You see, Mom, that's just it. I love her 
*too* much. I knew lots of people were against the wedding, and they 
were even more upset and angry and hurt when they found out that we were 
having a baby together. Purity of races and everything. But I didn't 
care, and now. . . Delenn is the one who's had to pay for me not being 
willing to listen, and to *think*. That's why I have to let her go. "

    "What do you mean ?" She didn't like this. She didn't like this, not 
even when Anna had died had she seen him this devastated and far down. 

    "I love her so much I have to let her go, because she'll never be 
able to look at me without at the same time seeing the child she lost. 
That's what she told me after. . . 'I can't see you,'  that's what she 
said."

    "She's still in shock, John, and so are you. Obviously you aren't 
aware of what you are saying, or how to sort out your feelings ab...." 

Her son interrupted her. "Sorry, Mom, but I have to go. There's 
something I have to do." Without giving any further explanation, he was 
gone, he had more or less escaped from his mother, her questions and her 
compassion. He didn't want it, couldn't have it. There was someone else 
he had to talk to, and he knew it, but he couldn't handle that, either.  
He just had to get out.


************************************


    "Do you know what this is ?" Zack gestured towards the computer 
screen, showing the diagram over the station. He had highlighted a spot 
in the ambassadorial section, where he had found the abnormality. Susan 
took a closer look, then shook her head. 
  
    "Some power malfuncion, maybe. . . a meltdown somewhere, someone's 
been having fun with the power system. Happens all the time."

    Zack shook his head. "No, that's not it. This is showing a major 
power configuration - but it's not coming from the reactor. It's not 
going through the regular power system, I've checked it out. All my 
scans have come up negative. This, on the other hand. . ."

    "Do you think it has something to do with the assault on Delenn ?"

    "I dunno. Right now I'd be willing to try and believe just about 
anything."

    As Ivanova studied the diagram, a million thoughts were rushing 
through her head. It could be just a computer malfunction, one voice 
told her, perhaps it was the voice of reason, perhaps it was someone or 
something else. It could be just that, a coincidence. Maybe it has 
nothing to do with Delenn at all. How *could* it have anything to do 
with her, anyway ? It's a good thing John doesn't know about this yet, I 
have no idea how he might have reacted, thought. . .But what *is* it ?

    Then a thought occured to her. She suddenly remembered something 
which had happened during the very first year in which Babylon 5 had 
been operational. She wasn't stationed there at the time, she had only 
heard Jeffrey Sinclair talking about it once. The station had almost 
been blown to bits by a person with a changeling net, making it possible 
for him to change appearances all the time, so it was virtually 
impossible for security to catch him. Unfortunately, the chameleon nets 
had a side effect - the energy they produced was so great it was could 
kill the person using it if it the exposure was prolonged. The amount of 
energy which had been released in the ambassadorial section wasn't that 
big, it wasn't damaging - probably not even to the person who wore it. 
This was clearly something else. But what if. . . 

    "Zack, what do you know about changeling nets ?" 
  
    He gave her a strange look. Sometimes he had *no* idea what went on 
inside her head. This was one of those days. She could come up with the 
weirdest ideas and stories, and usually he didn't have any choice but to 
go with her. One of the first things he had been told when he came 
aboard Babylon 5 was "Don't mess with Ivanova." He had found out later 
that it was a good rule to live by. He started talking, sounding almost 
as if he was reading aloud from a book: "Well, er. . . They are banned 
in almost every part of the known universe, because it makes it 
impossible for any government to keep track of the residents and their 
identity, and besides, wearing a chameleon net is extremely dangerous 
since the amount of energy released could easily kill you if. . ." His 
voice trailed off as Susan started checking the records of any entry of 
the words 'changeling net'. "You don't think this is what we're talking 
about here, do you ?" The intent look on her face was answer enough. 
"Because that's impossible. They are illegal. Our scanners would've 
picked them up, and using them would've posed substantial damage to. . 
."

    "Someone might have done some reasearch on how to improve and modify 
the changeling nets, Zack, " Ivanova said, while opening a channel to 
talk to Dr Franklin in MedLab. "We have no idea what for instance the 
Centauri, the Drakh or even the Earth Alliance have been doing reasearch 
on during the last couple of years. This is our only shot, isn't it ?"


********************************


Sheridan hadn't been flying a Star Fury for ages. There simply hadn't 
been time lately, and he hadn't realized until now how much he had 
missed it. Flying a White Star ship was one thing. Then you were around 
other people all the time, and you didn't get the feeling of *space*. Of 
loneliness, of being on your own without having anyone to trust but 
yourself. 

    But being all alone didn't feel so good anymore. It didn't feel good 
at all. 

    Hope. 

     She was all alone out here somewhere, he suddenly realized, without 
having anyone to comfort her. How could they possibly send such a tiny 
person out in space, without having anyone to hold her ? Tears fogged 
his vision for a moment, but he blinked them away. That was why he 
wasn't feeling that good being in the Star Fury after all - it somehow 
reminded him of his daughter. She had lived and died in one single 
breath - then she was gone, and it seemed as if she was going to take 
everyone else he loved away from him in the prosess, too.

    He turned the Star Fury around, so hard the little ship practically 
screamed in every joint. He turned it away from Babylon 5, "the shining 
beacon in space", in the direction in which little Hope's casket had 
been sent. He knew that he couldn't find it, it was on its way towards 
the closest star around now, and it was already too far away for him to 
find. "The tiniest of ships sent into the vastest of oceans. . . " Who 
had said that ? He didn't remember where he had heard that phrase 
before, but he had never truly understood its full meaning - until now. 

He had to go. He had to get away. Maybe he could find out what it felt 
like to be one with the universe, too ? Once he had thought that he knew 
what that was like. 

Babylon 5 was already out of visual range. But it didn't make him feel 
any better. 


"Du bist min. ih bin din.
des solt du gewis sin
du bist beslozzen
in minem herzen
verlorn ist daz sluzzelin.
du muost och immer darinne sin."

A 13th century German poem from München (Munich), poet unknown. It's 
written in a very oldfashioned German, so understanding it is rather 
hard, but once you get past that it's incredibly beautiful . . . Mail 
me for a brief translation, if you're interested, but I decided not to 
translate it here since poetry always loses a lot when translated.

END PART 6
______________________________________________________


WONDROUS IS OUR GREAT BLUE SHIP

Lee from Indonesia, this one is for you. I know things look hopeless at 
the moment, but they can't stay like this forever. Never forget that 
smile, OK ? Find peace and happiness in music - you know what I'm 
talking about.  

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship part 7
miramurr@hotmail.com

    "Do you think it's possible ?" Susan was eager - this was their only 
real clue so far, and if her theory was correct, it might solve many of 
their unanswered questions. "What if it's some kind of a modified 
chameleon net ? It could've been smuggled aboard the station, or maybe 
it was even produced here. If we *are* talking about a changeling net, 
we can just forget about those two Narns we saw on the security tape. 
They don't have to be Narn at all, in fact they could be *anything*."

    Franklin wasn't being that optimistic. He had been doing a lot of 
research himself over the years, particularly about alien biology, and 
he had seen a lot serving in MedLab on Babylon 5 - but he still believed 
in what he *saw* and could prove, and this was an allegation which was 
*not* easily proved. He tried to tell her just that, but she wouldn't 
listen. "Look, Susan, we can't go public with this. If we say that the 
persons responsible are still out there, and they could be *anyone* - 
regardless of sex and race - it could cause riots, fights and God only 
knows what. People are already suspicious of each other, we can't do 
anything to increase that fear !" 

    "I know, I know. I wasn't talking about going public - just trying 
to find those bastards, and *then* go public. After I'm finished with 
them." She didn't reveal exactly what she had in mind, but Franklin 
found it was best not to know. The thought of the two who had been 
responsible for Delenn's miscarriage having to face a pissed-off Ivanova 
almost made him feel sorry for them. But only almost. "Stephen, is there 
any way we can detect them ?"

He shook his head. "Assuming they are still on the station, and assuming 
we *are* talking about changeling nets - no, I don't think so. Unless 
they use the nets again, of course, and our computers detect the 
abnormality in the power readings." Zack had already programmed the 
computer to run constant checks on power usage and power profiles in any 
sector of the station, and to alert security immediatly if anything 
unusual happened, like the reading they'd found in the Ambassadorial 
sector. So far security had caught two Minbari redhanded in preparing a 
ceremony involving chrystals which were releasing some energy, one human 
male was almost taken in custody charged of shaving, and five Centauri, 
two males and three females, were caught in a rather delicate situation 
using a giant vibrating bed. 

    "Do you have any idea where this thing came from ?" Susan had turned 
on ISN, massaging her neck while trying to keep her eyes open. Stephen 
had hardly ever seen her collapsing like this, from one second to 
another it was as if all her energy had vanished into thin air. These 
last couple of days had been really hard on all of them. 

    "We don't even know if a chameleon net is involved," Franklin said, 
carelessly moving some documents out of the way so he'd be able to sit 
down on his desk, since Susan at the moment was occupying his chair. 

    Ivanova wasn't willing to let her theory go. "But *if* it's one of 
those things, then it could be anyone. Maybe even the Minbari. They 
haven't been known to use such dirty tricks, but you never know. The 
Centauri - it's not like things have been very stabile there with all 
that's been going on lately. The Emperor dying and everything. Maybe 
it's even our own government which is behind all this - it's impossible 
to say."

    "It doesn't have to involve any government, either," Stephen sighed. 
"It could be a corporation. Multi-racial or not, big or small, wherever 
it's based finding it will be virtually impossible. It could be anyone 
trying to make some money. Selling illegal objects on the black market 
can be very profitable."  Stephen had expected an answer, but when he 
turned towards his friend and commanding officer, he found that she was 
sound asleep in his chair. Ordering no one to wake her for at least six 
hours, he left his office to let her get some rest. 


******************************


The young Minbari male, who had presented himself as Ambassador Delenn's 
aide, had showed Nancy into Delenn's quarters. //He seems very 
sympathetic//, she thought, while observing him from the corner of her 
eye. She still wasn't used to seeing aliens in flesh and blood, there 
hadn't been that many of them on Earth. Since President Santiago's 
assassination there hadn't been anyone. They had either gone home to 
their homeworlds, or they had disappeared. //It's weird,// Nancy 
thought, //that no one really cared what happened to them. . . we just 
noted that they weren't there anymore, and that's it.// This Lennier 
wasn't at all like the stereotype Minbari male she'd seen on ISN - he 
wasn't hard, determined and bloodthirsty at all. In fact, she had hardly 
seen a person in her life, regardless of race, who had been that 
friendly, polite and calm.

    "Ambassador Delenn is not receiving any visitors," Lennier said 
apologetically, as they had stopped in front of the Delenn's door. "She 
refuses to open for anyone but me. I have not told her that you were 
coming." He entered the code, and the door opened with a low, somewhat 
hissing, sound. 

    The door closed behind them. At first she couldn't see anything, the 
room was so dark. But then, as her eyes got used to it, she was able to 
see some more. The only lights in the quarters came from some candles 
which were lighted in the far end of the room. The candles seemed to 
release a peculiar scent, filling the room, which she hadn't come across 
before. It wasn't at all unpleasant, just . . . different. 

    Delenn was sitting on the floor behind all the candles. Her face was 
drained, it was so unlike the woman Nancy Sheridan had seen on ISN 
fighting for her son's life. She wasn't looking at them, her eyes were 
focused on the biggest candle. "I thought I told you not to disturb me, 
Lennier," she said, her voice was somehow distant, as if she was talking 
from far, far away. 

    "I am sorry, Delenn, but I have someone here who would like to see 
you."

    Finally, Delenn lifted her eyes from the candle she had been staring 
at, and for the first time, her expression changed into something 
different than the apathetic look her face had had for days. Her eyes 
widened, her nostrils flared, and Nancy could practically see her 
daughter-in-law shrinking on her pillow, away from her. Obviously, she 
knew who the older woman was.

    "You must be Delenn. I'm Nancy Sheridan. John's mother." For a short 
second Delenn seemed to smile, but not because she was happy to see 
Nancy. Her smile was without joy, happiness or even politeness. Nancy 
didn't know that her previous daughter-in-law had used practically the 
same phrase when she had introduced herself, not too long ago.  Delenn 
had been watching John, who she had slowly and secretly come to fall in 
love with, sleeping innocently like a child - and then Anna had come, 
ripping everything apart. Yes, she had liked what she had seen in John's 
face. When, in his sleep, his 'true face had been revealed'. Later, when 
everyone had thought that Sheridan had died at Z'ha'dum, she had 
wondered if Anna had watched her husband sleep like that. If Anna had 
ever seen what she herself had seen in his face ? She knew thinking like 
that was terrible, and she had hated herself for doing it. But still - 
she couldn't help it. ". . . but I want you to know. . . I love you, 
Delenn. . . " 

    Nancy had partially expected that Delenn would say something, to 
break the silence. She didn't. Lennier had quietly receded into the 
background, giving the two of them privacy. Nancy didn't have any idea 
where he was, he was probably in one of the back rooms. Taking a deep 
breath, she studied the woman in front of her, who was again staring at 
the candles.

    "I'm sorry we haven't been able to meet before," she said softly. 
Still no answer. Then, finally - 

    "Have you talked to John ?" Delenn's voice was flat, tired, so low 
Nancy had trouble hearing what she said.

    "Yes. He's not doing so well." 

    Delenn nodded, meeting the older woman's eyes for the first time. "I 
know." She made a gesture for the older woman to sit down on some other 
pillows scattered over the floor, so the two women were sitting face to 
face, seperated by the candles between them. "Children live every moment 
for the pleasure of the moment," Delenn said, lighting yet another 
candle. "But what happens when it is not there anymore ?"

    Nancy didn't know what to say, she didn't quite understand what 
Delenn meant. "The moment ?" 

    Delenn nodded again. "The moment - and life itself." 

    "I know what it's like to lose a child, Delenn." Nancy's voice was 
low, full of tenderness and sorrow. Delenn stopped lighting candles for 
a moment, sending her a look which Nancy didn't know how to interpret, 
then continued lighting the candles. Finally, Delenn was finished, 
folding her hands as if praying, but Nancy knew that she wasn't - at 
least not in the Christian meaning of the word. She was merely waiting, 
but waiting for what ? Nancy Sheridan couldn't tell. Only that her 
daughter-in-law had been waiting for a long, long time. Wearily, she 
continued: "When David and I were having our first child. . . we wanted 
it so much. We had been married for some years, and having a child was 
all we longed for. But nothing happened, and we were starting to despair  
- when I got pregnant." Nancy wiped away the tears which were 
involuntarily rolling down her face. It was such a long time ago, but it 
still hurt. It had taken her years to finally be able to face this 
event, and talking about it to someone who was after all more or less a 
stranger was even harder. But no, she thought, this woman isn't a 
stranger. She's married to my son. And despite of their problems lately, 
she loves him, and he loves her. "Everything was normal, it seemed - 
until I started bleeding profusely one Sunday afternoon, when I was 
almost five months pregnant." She paused, not knowing how to continue.

    Then Delenn did something totally unexpected.

    She held out her hand, over the candles, and Nancy took it. 
Comforting, caring despite her own recent loss, Delenn's hand seemed 
completely human, as far as Nancy could tell. It was warmer than she had 
thought, and a lot stronger. It suddenly made her wonder which strengths 
were hidden beneath her seemingly fragile appearance. "Did you lose it 
?" Delenn whispered.

    "Yes," she answered, giving Delenn's hand a thankful squeeze before 
she let go of it. "John's older brother. David. That's what we called 
him."

    "John called our daughter Hope." Nancy didn't know it, but this was 
the first time Delenn had ever said her child's name aloud. It suddenly 
filled her with a calm she hadn't felt since. . . she didn't know. Not 
since before things started getting out of hand. "It was the best name 
he possibly could have chosen." 

    Nancy was relieved that Delenn was at least talking about what had 
happened - that had to be a good sign, hadn't it ? "I know it sounds 
like a cliché, Delenn, but you have to move on with your life. It's the 
only way." 

    "I can't." 

    "Why not ?"

    "Because he hates me. It's all my fault." 

    "If you're thinking that. . ."

    "I know what I saw," Delenn said firmly. "He did not say it, but I 
know he blames me. I am responsible for his daughter's death, and 
nothing can make it better. Nothing."

    "Delenn. . ."

    Delenn held up her hand, interrupting her. "Please, Nancy, let me 
explain. . . Minbari handle the loss of someone beloved with their own 
inner strength. That's what I have been trying to do ever since. . . it 
happened. I have been fasting, praying, waiting for some sort of a sign. 
From whom, I do not know. But nothing has happened. All I have felt has 
been a big, empty - nothing." She held her hand over one of the candles, 
the flame starting to burn her flesh. It turned red, both of them could 
smell the scent of burned flesh, but still she didn't show any signs of 
pain, she just held it there. Hastily, Nancy blew out the candle, 
turning her hand around to see the damage Delenn had inflicted on 
herself. The palm was red, swollen, with a big blister about to develop. 

    "You have to cool that wound with some water," she said, trying to 
make the younger woman wake up from this apathetic state of mind. 

    "Why did you blow out the candle ? It was a test of my inner 
strength. It is the victory of sprit over the weakness of flesh. I have 
not passed any of the tests. I am not sure that I will be able to pull 
myself out of this. And I am afraid that if I fall - I will take John 
with me." Delenn's voice suddenly seemed so afraid, so young and 
insecure. "I cannot take him with me. Not him. Maybe he cannot see it 
now, but eventually, he will."

    "Is hurting yourself going to make the pain go away ?" No response. 
"Is it, Delenn ? Anwer me !"

    "I am only trying to protect him. If I had not loved him so much, I 
would not have done this. I do not expect you to understand. I just hope 
you will accept it. I. . ." She cut off in the middle of her sentence 
when the door suddenly opened. They could see a silhouette of a man 
against the light ouside the quarters. 

    It was John. His breathing was ragged, and his eyes were wide open, 
as if he had just seen something which had really scared him. "I'll 
leave the two of you alone," Nancy said, hastily retreating into the 
hallway. 

   The door closed behind her.


**********************************


    Making a mistake can only take a few seconds. An instant, merely a 
millisecond in time. But it can have a huge impact on the lives of lots 
of people. 


**********************************


    Down Below was a dangerous place. It always had been, and despite 
the station personell's efforts to clean the place up and stop the 
illegal immigration, it was still a maze of criminals, poor, humans and 
aliens with no hope of a better future, trying their best to survive one 
way or another.

    Of course, there were also those who had made Down Below their true 
home, and they didn't feel the need to go anywhere else. Maybe they were 
wanted by the authorities on numerous planets, perhaps this was simply 
the best place to do business, whether it was smuggling or far worse 
things. 

      Eldre Historie was one of the persons who hadn't set his feet 
outside Down Below ever since the station became operational, and if he 
were an Italian on Sicily some 300 years ago, you might have called him 
a mafia boss. As it was, in Down Below he simply had a lot of power, no 
strings or titles attached. Eldre Historie was a Faenskap, a race which 
had lost its homeworld due to pollution and wars centuries ago. Since 
then they had travelled from place to place, from planet to planet, 
making the lives of other races miserable and trying to gain power in 
any way they could. In Down Below Eldre Historie's name was pronounced 
with fear by all the residents, and even though Security knew fully well 
what he was doing, they couldn't catch him. He had too many allies, even 
though these allies weren't always in high places, they could cause 
substantial problems if they wanted to. And besides - Eldre Historie 
wasn't stupid enough to let Security get anything big on him. 

    Eldre Historie owned a the only "pleasure house" - SvaRte - in Down 
Below, and "pleasure house" was just a more sophisticated name for a 
brothel. The reason why it was the only brothel in Down Below was simply 
that Eldre Historie didn't allow any others to start their own 
establishments down here. But the SvaRte wasn't only a brothel - it also 
held a casino, in which various gamblers from all over the galaxy were 
frequent guests. 

    Eldre Historie had had some unpleasant meetings with both the Humans 
and the Minbari as well as a few other races, so members of any of these 
"banned" races were never allowed to enter SvaRte, regardless of whether 
the aim of the visit was gambling,  pleasure - or both. This only seemed 
to increase the establishment's popularity, giving it some kind of a 
ragged image. 

    In order to be let in, they used their changeling nets. 

    Their success had made them reckless. 

    They had become too arrogant, too sure of their own superiority. 

    Not a smart way to go.


**************************************


    Sheridan hestitantly entered Delenn's quarters. His eyes wandered 
all over the room, drinking in all the details of furniture and art on 
the walls which he knew so well, the small things which reflected 
Delenn's personality in a way nothing else could. He didn't sit down 
when Delenn silently asked him to, he started pacing around the room, 
not being able to sit still. 

    "I've just been out in one of the Star Furies," he said, without a 
opening. Delenn merely nodded, not knowing where this was heading. She 
made very sure to hide her burned hand in her robe, she didn't know how 
he'd react if he had seen the damage she had inflicted on herself. 

    "I discovered a few things about myself while being out there in 
space," he said, "and I realized a few things about you and me as well." 
Delenn's body suddenly stiffened, he could see her shoulders becoming 
tense and her forehead creasing.

    "Do you not think that I, too, should have something to say when it 
comes to you and me ?" Delenn said, her voice strained and slightly 
sarcastic. Maybe it was just him overreacting, but he was sure that he 
could detect some sarcasm in her voice - couldn't he ?

    "I haven't been fair to you, Delenn. I never wanted this to happen." 
For the first time, John looked at his wife. But it was as if he was 
seeing straight through her, not really seeing *her*, and Delenn shrunk 
away from him when she noted the impersonal gaze. He had hidden 
something inside, she suddenly realized, something he didn't allow to 
surface. She didn't know what it was. Maybe he was about to tell her 
now. Or maybe not. No matter what he was planning to tell her, she had a 
feeling that she wouldn't like it. 

    Lost in her own world of though, she hadn't really been following 
what he said. She focused on what he was saying again, after having 
drifted off for a few seconds. She just heard his last words -

    "Do you want a divorce ?" 

    It was as if, for a moment, the world was totally still. Nothing 
moved. Nothing happened, no one said anything. She looked at him, saw 
through his outwardly strong mask and sensed how insecure and scared he 
was. But other than that - nothing. With a gasp she forced herself to 
close her mind, rising with some difficulty from the floor, a sharp 
sting of pain in her abdomen reminded her once again of why they were 
here having this conversation, which seemed to be becoming increasingly 
unreal.

    Facing him, she whispered - "Go. Please - just go."

    And he did.


************************************


    Ivanova's link beeped.

    "Security to Ivanova."

    "Go."

    "We have a reading in Down Below."

    Leaving her hardly edible dinner, she ran towards the closest 
elevator, using her security override to take a short cut to Down Below. 
There was no need to ask what kind of reading they had found in Down 
Below. She already knew that they had found an energy configuration 
similar to the one in the Ambassadorial section. 

    "Send a security team down there stat," she ordered, ignoring the 
stares she got from the two humans who had been in the elevator when she 
had more or less hijacked it. Checking her PPG, she did her best to calm 
her frantically beating pulse and clear her mind from distractions, 
anger and thoughts of revenge. She had to be calm. They couldn't afford 
to screw it up. Not now.

END PART 7   

______________________________________________________


WONDROUS IS OUR GREAT BLUE SHIP 

Parts of this story is similar to Trial by Fire, but that's pure 
coincidence, as I read the telepathic wall stuff after I had written 
this. I haven't used it that much, and it's not as important to the 
story as it is in Trial by Fire,  but the idea of a wall inside one's 
mind is more or less the same. And, yes - Eldre Historie IS inspired by 
Jabba the Hutt.

The subconsciousness is a strange thing. When I read "In The Beginning" 
last week, I discovered that the name of John's mother really *was* 
Nancy. I must've heard it a long time ago, and then forgotten all about 
it - or so I thought. I guess it wasn't my little sister's Nancy Drew 
period after all, then.

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship
part 8
miramurr@hotmail.com
   
    "Are we still getting the readings ?" Ivanova's voice was barely 
audible, whispering through the link to the officer on the bridge. 

    "Yes, Commander. They seem to have split up, entering two different 
rooms. One in the far end of the place, one in the center."

    "Got it." 

    She nodded to Zack, who as chief of security was in charge of this 
operation. He had already given his orders to the security personell, he 
had only needed one last confirmation before they entered SvaRte, which 
seemed rather uninviting. There weren't any windows, hardly any lights. 
The only light in this area came from something as oldfashioned as a gas 
lamp, and Zack prefered not to know where Eldre Historie had gotten hold 
of the gas to light it. The flickering light gave the surroundings some 
sort of an unreal feeling.

    "All personell - be ready to enter building on my count - three - 
two - one - NOW !" Instantly, twenty security guards stormed SvaRte, 
from every exit way they had been able to detect. It was very likely 
that there were more secret exits than they had found, so they had to 
make this quick, before their suspects had time to escape. All dressed 
in black, heavily armed, Susan and Zack, along with four other security 
guards, stormed what appeared to be the main entry of the shaggy place.

    The sight which met them was something that could've come straight 
out of a nightmare. People of almost every imaginable race, and then 
some, were scattered all over the place, more or less drunk, drugged or 
whatever these creatures got high on. From one of the backrooms came 
some suspicious sounds, Ivanova decided not to think about them, even 
though she had a pretty good idea which activities were pursued back 
there. When the six humans entered the place, at least most of the 
aliens in there seemed to react.

    "Station security !" Zack yelled, waving with a PPG. "Don't move !"

    "Humans !" someone said in unmistakable English, though in a strange 
accent Ivanova couldn't place. "You not allowed in here ! Go !" The 
voice came from some disgusting creature which looked a bit like a giant 
worm with eyes as big as plates, surrounded by incredibly long 
eyelashes. Its mouth opened, revealing an impressive set of sharp teeth 
which, in contrast to the rest of the rotten body, seemed to be in 
perfect shape. Ivanova was certain that those teeth could separate her 
head from her body in seconds, before she ever had the time to figure 
out what was going on, if she got too close to that . . . thing. It was 
rather obvious that the "worm" was Eldre Historie. She hadn't seen him 
before, but she knew his reputation all too well. 

    "We're not here to cause you any trouble, Eldre Historie," Ivanova 
said, "we just supect that you may have some guests in here who you 
didn't welcome. And neither did we. Let's help you get rid of them, huh 
?" In the meantime, security had their hands full trying to stop shadowy 
aliens trying to get out of the room. Clearly, many of them had a lot to 
hide, whatever it was, and they weren't too enthusiasic about getting 
caught in this place, which they had thought to be something of a safe 
haven. One of the female security guards was carrying an electric field 
detector. It could detect even the smallest of electromagnetic fields, 
and while it was normally used when maintaining the electric channels 
and cables on the station, it could also be used to find out if a person 
had an energy field surrounding him or her which was different than 
usual. 

    Checking each person took only a few seconds. After each alien had 
been checked, they were mercilessly thrown out of the building, to 
separate those who had been checked from the rest. They didn't seem to 
mind, though, it was more as if they were glad to get out of SvaRte 
without getting caught for whichever shadowy deals they were involved 
in.

    Suddenly, one of the few remaining persons - a Sparrrk - drew a PPG. 
Firing at the female security guard with the field detector, he tried to 
make his way out of the establishment. The security guard instantly fell 
to the ground, her face and chest badly burned from the shot. After a 
few seconds, her body stopped convulsing. 

    The Sparrrk suddenly found himself in the middle of the shooting 
line. The remaining five Earth Force officers aimed at him and shot at 
once. Five shots tore him apart, his chest exploding, and he fell on the 
floor as well, partly covering the woman he had shots only seconds 
before. 

    Then something unexpected happened. Sparks were starting to fly out 
from his mouth, his eyes popping out, it seemed as if his body was on 
fire. "He's one of the guys with a changeling net !" Ivanova screamed, 
running towards cover behind something which must've been a sofa. It was 
obvious the man was could be about to explode, the energy from the PPG 
shots had probably triggered some kind of a chain reaction. Perhaps it 
was even a self destruct mecanism. As the alien's body caught fire, his 
form and face changed. At first into a Narn, then a Centauri, and then -

    It was a human. 

    There was no way he could be mistaken. He was human. A final scream 
came out of the . . . creature's mouth, though Ivanova couldn't 
understand how he could possibly still be alive. It seemed to echo 
throughout every fiber of her body and mind, until it finally stopped, 
as abruply as it had begun. The body continued burning. The room was 
dead silent, no one said a word, they just stood there, staring at the 
grotesque sight in front of them. The silence was suddenly broken when 
seven of the security guards entered the room, coming from upstairs. 
They had caught the other man, alive this time - and it didn't come as a 
big surprise that he was human, too. He hardly looked at his accomplice, 
burning beside his feet. 

    "This fellow was disguised as a Sparrrk, taking human-alien 
relations to a new level with a Tjodalyng hooker," one of the guards 
leading him said. He was carrying a brownish, thin suit which was 
probably the chameleon net the guy had worn. Its substance and color 
seemed to be rather strange, the color was changing all the time 
depending on the light, and the net seemed to be - pulsating. The 
security officer seemed relieved when he was handed a bag to put it in. 
But even then, Ivanova thought she could see it moving.


**************************************


    "You know, if I were, you I'd start talking *right now*," Ivanova 
said, as if casually, while at the same time watching the prisoner 
intensely. "Let me remind you of your position here. . . well, for one 
thing you were caught in possession of highly illegal biological 
technology. You are refusing to tell us who you are, but one thing is 
for sure: you weren't registered by customs when you entered the 
station. In fact, as long as you don't tell us who you are, or who sent 
you, you don't *have* an identity. You're not here. Which in turn 
doesn't give you that many rights.  You have assaulted the wife of the 
station's First Officer, causing her to lose her unborn baby. Qualifies 
as murder, doesn't it ? Oh, did I mention that she is Minbari ? And that 
she has a *lot* of Minbari friends ? They aren't easy to calm down when 
they are angry - it took us two years the last time, remember ? - so I 
wouldn't even *think* about trying to escape or pulling any tricks. You 
are *not* very popular on Babylon 5 at the moment, whoever you are. 
Being locked up in here is in fact the *only* thing that's saving you 
from being murdered, by someone or *anyone*." Ivanova was pacing around 
in the interrogation room. She was partly in the dark, while bright 
lights were shining directly on their prisoner, nearly blinding him, so 
that while she could see him perfectly, he could just barely see her. It 
was all a part of the psycological game they were playing. They had to 
break him down, one way or another. Susan sat down by the table, facing 
the surviving man. 

    He was tough. Breaking him down wouldn't be easy. She had seen 
people like him before - they would sooner die than revealing their 
secrets, betraying their superiours. They had ideals. Huh, Susan 
thought. If he won't talk, then tough luck. It'll be *his* loss. 

    The man sitting by the other side of the table was actually in a way 
impressing her, but she made very sure that she didn't show it.  His 
face seemed a bit weak at first, until you noticed his dark eyes - they 
were revealing his intelligence, his determination and passion. He 
didn't have anything to live for except his cause, and that was why he 
didn't mind dying for the cause if necessary. He had obviously been 
trained well, he was a true professional. She didn't know if they could 
break him by merely trying to make him crack psychologically, and even 
though the situation was rather unusual, they still had standards. The 
Babylon 5 crew wouldn't go as far as actually torturing him. Susan 
herself had seen what it had done to John, and this guy was like him, in 
many ways. John hadn't given up, despite the torture. She had a feeling 
this guy wouldn't, either. They had already been interrogating him for 
two hours, with no luck so far. In fact, he hadn't even muttered a word, 
silently staring at them, ignoring both threats and sweet talk. This guy 
himself wasn't very important, but he was their only key to finding the 
person or persons behind him. The shadowy ones who were holding the 
threads, making the plans, signing the pay checks.    

   Deciding to leave him alone to let him do some thinking and realize 
just *how* bad his position was, she left the interrogation room, making 
sure to slam the door extra hard, so the prisoner would feel the 
vibrations in the floor and the chair he was sitting on. It might make 
him feel even more locked in and helpless. If that was how he was 
feeling in the first place, then. He certainly hadn't revealed any of 
his feelings in any way so far. 

   In the room next to the interrogation cell, Sheridan, Delenn, 
Lennier, Zack and Lyta were waiting for him. They had been following the 
interrogation through hidden cameras and recorders, so they already knew 
she hadn't found out anything. Sheridan was trying to convince Lyta to 
do an unauthorized scan on the prisoner, Zack was trying to find a match 
on his DNA in any records, and Delenn was just sitting on a chair, as 
far away from her husband as possible. It didn't seem like she was aware 
of the other's presence at all, not even Lennier's, who was standing 
next to her like a body guard. 

    "Look, this bastard deserves *everything* he gets, agreed ?" Lyta 
nodded, while Sheridan continued talking, his voice becoming 
increasingly louder as he spoke, in the end he was almost yelling - 
"then why the hell won't you scan him ?"

    Lyta just shook her head, pushing a lock of her hair that had 
escaped from her pony tail behind her ear. She sighed and tried to 
explain, for the hundredth time - "I *can't* scan him when I don't have 
permission to do it, Captain. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a 
registered telepath in the Psi Corps again, and they actually have rules 
forbidding it. Remember ?" She was starting to get annoyed now.

    "Psi Corps *rules* never seemed to make a difference to you in the 
past, did they ?"

    She chose to ignore his insult. "I wouldn't have done it even if I 
still were a rogue telepath, John. And no, " she said, before he had 
time to ask, because she knew what his next question would be - "I won't 
ask any of the Down Below rogue telepaths to do it, either. They have to 
keep a low profile these days,  I don't want the Psi Cops to get any 
excuse to start making new restrictions on the Corps - again."   

    "She's right, John," Delenn said quietly. "We can't use Human 
telepaths in this case. It's too complicated - politically. But the 
Human race isn't the only one with individuals having telepathic 
abilities. What if we use a Minbari telepath ?"

    "Frankly, I am not sure if any of them would agree to do it," 
Lennier said, apologetically. "They are very upset about the . . . 
incident . . . but I am not sure if we should involve any of them, 
either. They are not personally engaged, and I do not know to what 
extent we can trust them, even if they would choose to do this scan."

    Delenn nodded, knowing that he was right. She didn't know any of the 
Minbari telepaths on the station personally, she just knew their faces, 
giving them a nod and a smile along with a polite greeting if they 
happened to meet in the hallway. But there was a far way from being 
acquaintances to asking this. It would require trust, honesty and 
determination, aside from the fact that it was morally on shaky ground. 
She had asked for their help once before, to prevent Bester from 
scanning the command staff when he visited the station. They had agreed 
to do so partly because she was an ambassador, and partly because they 
didn't trust the Psi Corps themselves. But this. . . none of the 
telepaths had any personal reason to help her. Unless. . .

    "John, do you know if there are any Minbari telepaths among the 
rangers ?" She didn't look at him, and Sheridan answered, rather 
defensively -

   "How should I know ? You're Enthil'Zha, remember ?" Yes, she was 
Enthil'Zha, but telepathic abilities weren't considered so special among 
Minbari, neither was it so feared. In a society in which no one lied, 
why should telepaths be so unique or feared ? That was the reason why 
she simply didn't *know* if there were any telepaths among the Minbari 
rangers. It just hadn't seemed like an important issue. 

    "I think I know a telepath among the rangers," Lennier said, he was 
clearly nervous now. Being the aide of the ambassador, he wasn't used to 
being the center of attention, even though a lot had changed since he 
had first come to Babylon 5. "Her name is Katt'pote."'


************************************


    Katt'pote entered the interrogation room. In the room next door, she 
knew the highest officers on the station as well as Enthil'Zha herself 
were watching her. Being a fresh recruit in the Rangers, she hadn't met 
any of them before, and she had never imagined herself being 
particularly important to them. She was very young, barely an adult, and 
very insecure. The only thing she was sure of, was that she belonged 
among the Rangers. She had been hoping that by joining the Rangers, she 
could make a difference for someone. It seemed like it was happening a 
bit faster than she had thought it would.

    "Hello," she said, a bit surprised by how normal her voice sounded, 
when she was feeling so turbulent inside. "My name is Katt'pote." The 
prisoner looked at her, but didn't say anything. She could feel that he 
was surprised to see her there, but whether it was because of her age or 
her race, she couldn't tell. "I suppose I should inform you that I am a 
telepath." Still no reaction. "I am here to perform a scan on you. There 
are two ways in which I can do this - the easy way and the hard way. It 
will not hurt, unless you resist." Lyta had told her what she should 
say. Katt'pote wondered if the human telepath Lyta Alexander, P5 and 
trained in doing the best out of her telepathic potential, had ever used 
those words herself. They sounded so harsh, so impersonal. So 
professional. 

    She suddenly thought that she didn't belong here at all. She wasn't 
a professional, she had never ever done this - the only person whose 
mind she had *really* entered before had been Lyta's, only minutes 
before. But Lyta had said that she was good. Talented, maybe a P8, or 
even stronger. So she had to do this. If not for herself, then for 
Lyta's sake. To show her that she could. And for Delenn, the strong 
woman with the tender face, Enthil'Zha. 


***********************************


    "She is so young," Delenn said. "I am not sure if we are doing the 
right thing. . ."

    "She has never done anything like this before," Lyta agreed. "But 
she's promising. With proper training she can be very good. And most 
important of all - she has a heart. Maybe her inexperience and youth 
will actually turn out to be an advantage. It'll make her more sensitive 
to impressions."

    "That's what I'm afraid of," Delenn whispered.


*****************************  


    "Who tricked you into doing this ?" the prisoner suddenly said. The 
sound of his voice was so unexpected that she couldn't stop herself from 
starting. His laughter was soft and indulgent, but not surprised, when 
he saw her reaction. "You're just a child. Why did they send a child to 
do a grown-up's dirty work ? Go, Katt'pote. They are playing games with 
your mind, taking advantage of your position. There is no need to scan 
me. You can't get to my secrets anyway."

    "You are lying," Katt'pote simply said. Nothing more. She could feel 
some strange vibrations in the air when he lied, something she had 
rarely come across before. She had just arrived from Minbar, from a 
society with no liars. When should she possibly have had the chance to 
detect lying before ? She decided there was no use in playing this game 
any longer. He wouldn't let her in voluntarily no matter what she said 
or did - if he had had any intension of telling what he knew, he 
would've done it a long time ago, to Commander Ivanova. 

    The prisoner was still sitting on the chair, and Katt'pote walked to 
stand behind him. He didn't move, didn't even follow her movements with 
his gaze. He didn't seem to be affected by her presence at all. Then she 
understood what he was doing. 

    He was building up a mental wall, inside his mind. She knew that it 
could be done, even if you weren't a telepath, which this guy obviously 
wasn't. If you just knew how, you could build the wall to try to prevent 
a telepath from finding out about your thoughts, your secrets. The only 
problem was that if you weren't a telepath yourself, you might not be 
able to make the wall strong enough.

    Shivering from concentration, she placed her hands on his shoulders. 
She could feel his pulse pounding under her hands, could feel that he 
was shivering as well. This was a fight between two souls, trying to 
find out which was the strongest. Katt'pote was a telepath, but she 
wasn't trained. The prisoner *was* trained, though by whom she didn't 
know, but he wasn't a telepath. Instinctively, she knew what to do. She 
visualized the wall he had built, focused on every brick to find weak 
spots. 

She imagined herself walking by the wall, so high, so thick, with no 
doors or windows at all. If there were any surroundings aside from the 
wall, she didn't see them. They weren't important. The wall was the only 
thing that mattered, every detail, every stone. Her telepathic instincts 
were good, even though she had never been trained. She instinctively 
knew that the better she managed to visualize the wall, the bigger the 
chance of breaking through. Because what she *really* saw wasn't a wall, 
but the man's brain, his neurological pattern. She had to break the 
code, find a way to trick him, or - if you want - find the weak spot. 
She looked up at the wall, not able to see where it ended, but that 
wasn't necessary. She didn't have to look far, when there might be 
something close instead. The wall's surface was clean, smooth, seemingly 
without any holes or. . .

    There. There it was. There was the week spot. With invisible hands 
and tools she started digging in the wall, trying to get through. The 
prisoner could obviously feel that she had found a weakness, and he 
tried desperatly to make his wall stronger, but his panick just made her 
job easier. She was through. She had free access to his mind, and there 
was nothing he could do about it. It felt scary, she had never done 
anything like this before. //I can actually *do* this,// she thought, 
starting to feel proud of herself. Immediatly she felt herself sliding 
back through the wall, and she forced herself to think about what she 
was doing instead of stupid and irrational feelings of pride and 
selfishness. Since this was her first time, and thus she had no idea 
what she was looking for, she had to feel her way through his mind, 
searching, digging, observing. What was she looking for again ? 

    Enthil'Zha. She was going to find out who had sent this assassin - 
because that was what he was, she suddenly realized. She could feel 
screams of death and pain in the prisoner's brain, and she knew that it 
wasn't *his* death - they were the deaths of all the people he had 
killed in his life. She sensed that they were many, but she forced 
herself to shut them out, couldn't allow them to disturb her. She 
couldn't lose control, that was one of the things Lyta Alexander had 
warned her against. "Don't let him fight you. Don't lose control. Never 
forget who you are." The sentence "never forget who you are" seemed to 
echo through her mind, over and over again.

    Yes, she could do this.


************************ 


    "She's through," Lyta said, she was watching the drama on the screen 
before them intensely. The others in the room didn't understand that 
much of what was happening. They could see the very young Minbari ranger 
standing behind the prisoner, her hands on his shoulders, both of them 
had their eyes closed. It was as if the spectators could feel the 
tension between the two of them, even though they weren't even in the 
same room. 

    Lyta understood a lot more. Being a telepath, she had seen this 
before. "She's managed to break his wall, I think he must've built one 
somehow. I wonder who trained him, I could sense the wall all the way 
from here. Breaking it couldn't have been easy." They could hear that 
Lyta was impressed by what Katt'pote had done. 

    "Is that the guy ?" Everyone turned around when they suddenly heard 
the voice of John's mother, they had been concentrating so hard on 
Katt'pote's fight in the room next door that they hadn't even noticed 
her entering the room. 

    "Yes." Delenn's voice was surprisingly strong. Nancy put a 
comforting hand on her shoulder, and Delenn smiled gratefully to her. 
Neither of them noticed John's thoughtful look as he saw the growing 
friendship between his mother and his wife. At least his wife for the 
time being. She hadn't answered his question about a divorce earlier, 
and he had no idea how she would respond. Sometimes he had no idea what 
went on inside her still mostly Minbari head, he didn't know how much of 
her was Minbari, and how much was human. 

    On the screen, Katt'pote relaxed, her knees shivering, barely able 
to hold her up. She staggered towards the door, having released her 
mental grip on the prisoner. He was just sitting there, as if 
unconscious, his breathing heavy and ragged. They were both exhausted. 
As she entered the room in which the rest of them were, she was about to 
faint. Franklin quickly maneuvered her onto a chair, giving her a glass 
of water. The room was dead silent for a while. No one dared to say 
anything, they didn't know where to begin. Finally, Lyta asked:

    "What did you see ?" 

    Katt'pote's hands tightened around the glass. "His name is Gregory 
Hicks. His mother, Julie Hicks, died when he was two years old, he has 
no conscious memory of her. His father, Michael Hicks, was in Earth 
Force, and he has a twin sister, Helen Anderson, who is living in New 
Paris with her husband and their two children, David and Jaina." 
Katt'pote's eyes were distant, blank. "I saw his mother, though. Her 
image is still in his mind, in his subcounsciousness, from the first two 
years of his life. She was beautiful. Long, dark hair. Dark eyes. Very 
sad. Always sad, when I saw into her eyes I could see - death. She knew 
what was coming, and she was so scared because she had to leave her 
children behind. Alone." Lyta didn't want to interrupt. This information 
told them nothing, but this was Katt'pote's first scan, and she was 
afraid of starting to ask questions before the young Minbari was ready 
for it. The shock must've been overwhelming, and Lyta was starting to 
feel guilty for letting an untrained telepath do what Hicks had called 
"their dirty work". 

    Finally, it seemed like Katt'pote was starting to wake up from her 
trance-like state. She was drinking the water, slowly, and her hands 
stopped shaking. She looked at Delenn, then at Sheridan. "I am sorry," 
she whispered.  "I am so sorry for what he did to you." Uncounsciously, 
Delenn had moved closer to her husband, searching for his hand. He took 
it, without really noticing what she was doing, because it felt so 
familiar, so *right*. "He hates you, and he is afraid. Afraid that 
aliens will take over his planet, and kill his twin sister, the only one 
he has left, the only one he cares for. I believe that he was in. . . 
in. . ." Katt'pote was searching for the right words. ". . . a big 
battle. . . what is its name ?" 

    "The Battle of the Line ?" John suggested, and Katt'pote nodded, 
relieved.

    "Yes. That was it. He was in the Battle of the Line, he was one of 
the very few survivors. He was never quite the same after that day. His 
mind had. . . changed." 

    Sheridan could very well imagine how his mind had changed. He was 
probably suffering from a form of the Minbari War Syndrom. Some Earth 
psychologists, hired by President Clark, had claimed that he was 
suffering from it as well. Even though Sheridan knew that he didn't, he 
knew that this syndrom actually existed. In some cases it caused 
inexplicable and unreserved love for the Minbari culture, in other cases 
it caused hatred and fury. 

    "Who sent him ?" Delenn asked, still holding on to Sheridan's hand. 
Then it was as if she realized what she was doing, remembering the 
question he had asked her only hours earlier, and she hastily let it go, 
hoping that Sheridan had been in such a state of shock that he hadn't 
noticed. 

    She didn't know that he had. And that he felt incredibly lonely 
without her touch and her strong grip.

    "I saw some persons whose faces I did not recognize - all I know is 
that they were human. I do not think that Mr Hicks himself knew them, if 
he had, then I would have known as well. And they were wearing Earth 
Force uniforms," she said shyly, nodding towards the uniform Sheridan 
himself was wearing. "But I did recognize one man. I have never seen him 
in person, but I think that you have - President Clark."

    Feeling the knot in his stomach tighten even more, Sheridan let out 
all the air in his lungs in a sigh, as the implications of this 
information began to sink in. This was bad. This was really, really bad. 

    "Did you find anything else ?" Lyta asked.

    "I do not know. . .it is all so frustrating and disorienting. . ." 
Katt'pote's face was confused, it was clear that she didn't quite know 
what to do with all the information she had gained. She was so green, so 
fresh, she hadn't learned yet how to separate the meaningful information 
from the useless. 

    "It's okay, Katt'pote," Lyta said reassuringly. "You were very good. 
I'm impressed by your efforts. You found out something very valuable to 
us. You're sure that the orders came from the Earth Alliance President 
and his allies ?" She didn't really have to ask, Lyta already knew that 
Katt'pote wasn't lying.

    "Yes. But there is something more. There was someone else involved 
as well. I think it must have been the organization the humans have for 
their telepaths - the Psi Corps." Katt'pote didn't dare to look at Lyta 
when she said that. 

    "Why am I not surprised," Ivanova mumbled, but quickly shut her 
mouth when Lyta sent her a strange glance. Susan knew that she could 
trust Lyta, but she also knew that she was a member of the Corps again. 
Registered. The Corps is mother, the Corps is father. . . She was 
registered, and thus she couldn't be completely trusted. Her mother's 
insistent voice kept ringing in her head - "tell no one". Did Lyta know 
that she was a latent telepath ? Maybe. Maybe not. 

    "So, what do we do now ?" Ivanova didn't particularly want to break 
the silence, but something had to be said or done. They had quite a few 
hard decisions to make. Surprisingly, it was John's mother who answered.

    "I think we all need to sleep on this. We shouldn't make any hasty 
decisions. And most importantly - I think that you and Delenn," she 
looked at her son, "have to talk. Because what's going to happen next 
will ultimately have to be your decision."



END PART 8

______________________________________________________

Wondrous Is Our Great Blue Ship
part 9
miramurr@hotmail.com

"I send greetings on behalf of the people of our planet. We step out of 
our solar system, into the universe, seeking only peaceful contact."
---Kurt Waldheim, former president of the United Nations. Humanity's 
greeting to whoever's out there, a part of the message sent into the 
infinite depths of space with Voyager 1 and 2 in 1977. ---

--- When we are all gone, it will still be there. ---


    Delenn was hardly able to keep up with Sheridan as they were walking 
towards the Stone Garden. She could see how tense the muscles in his 
back and neck were, his hands closed in hard fists. He was angry, she 
realized. Angry because he had finally got to see the man who had 
assaulted his wife, and killed his daughter. Delenn herself couldn't 
feel any anger. No anger, no hate, disgust. She was too numb, she wasn't 
able to feel anything at all. 

    "John, please. . . not so fast. I cannot. . . walk this fast." As 
John turned around and saw Delenn breathing heavily, her face revealing 
that she was in physical pain as well as mental, he could've slapped 
himself. She'd had a miscarriage less than two weeks earlier, and here 
he was forcing her to practically run all the way to the Stone Garden 
after him.

    "I'm sorry," he said, slowing down. After a pause, he said: "I think 
Mom was right. We really do need to talk. About a lot of things." 

    Delenn nodded. "Yes. Such as what we are going to do about what 
Katt'pote saw in this Mr Hicks's mind. If President Clark was really 
behind this. . ."

    Sheridan completed the sentence for her. ". . . then it's more than 
likely that he's pulling some other tricks as well. Violating the peace 
treaty. Which again means. . ."

    ". . .that there might be only one thing to do." 

    They had finally reached the Stone Garden. They had been here many 
times before, together or alone. This place was a refuge for both of 
them, particularly for Delenn. These stones had seen the slow 
development in their relationship. From philosophical and political 
discussions to the first, unexpected touch, to increasingly passionate 
kisses. It had seen them engaged, newly-wed - and now she wondered if 
the stones here would see the end of their marriage as well.

    "All things go in circles," John murmured, and once again she was 
startled by how similarly they were thinking.  But as he continued, she 
realized that they weren't thinking about the same thing after all. "For 
a while I actually thought that the treaty would work out. That we'd 
seen the end of it. I guess I hoped so against my better knowledge. It 
was too good to be true, you know. And now. . . we're back to square 
one. President Clark playing games. Again."

    "Yes." Delenn sat down, and Sheridan seated himself next to her, not 
too far away, but not really very close, either. Leaning back, she 
closed her eyes, and tried to let the peace in the garden enter her 
exhausted mind and partly dead heart - or so it felt. She was thrown out 
of her convenient little illusion of peace and harmony when she heard 
her husband's quiet voice - "Delenn ?" She opened her eyes again, 
looking at him. "We need to talk. Not about politics. But about you and 
me."

    "Yes," she agreed. "And not only about you and me. About our 
daughter as well." He was surprised by how unaffected her voice sounded 
when she said that. But when he saw her hand tightening around her 
skirt, he understood that she wasn't. Suddenly, he noticed how badly 
burned her right hand was. She must've been hiding it from him earlier, 
if she hadn't, he would have seen it. He grabbed her arm and forced her 
to show him the damage. 

    "Did you do this to yourself  ?" Her blush and the eyes which seemed 
to refuse to meet his were answer enough.  

    "Why did you do it ? How ? When ?!? Answer me !" He shouted, but 
Delenn didn't answer, couldn't, she just stared at him. She had never 
seen him this furious before, and his anger scared her. 

    Suddenly, it was as if his anger disappeared, with no apparant 
reason . He closed his eyes briefly.

    "I don't know why we keep doing this to ourselves," he said, his 
voice calm and low now, and Delenn was only waiting for what was to 
come, that he would ask her once again if she wanted a divorce, he 
would. . . But he didn't. Instead of becoming angry, at himself mainly, 
he put a comforting arm around her, his hand gently made her face come 
closer to his. "Why are you crying, Delenn ?" he murmured, brushing the 
back of his hand over her cheeks to wipe away the tears she hadn't even 
noticed she was crying. 

    "I like the name you chose for our daughter," Delenn whispered, 
comforted and soothed by his touch. "Hope. It is. . . she is. . .I am 
sorry." She didn't complete her sentence. "Your mother and I were having 
a talk as you came earlier today. She is a remarkable woman. You are 
lucky to have her." There was the slightest of  pauses before she 
continued -  "I never knew my mother." 

    She had once told him about her mother, who she had hardly seen. 
Delenn's father had taken very good care of her, and she had obviously 
loved him very much, but he couldn't replace her mother, no matter how 
hard he had tried. She had needed both of them. "I never imagined that I 
would get a child myself," she said, trying to explain, without knowing 
that John already understood. ". . .until I met you I did not think that 
I would get a baby. It never seemed important. And after I had undergone 
my transformation, I did not think that it would be physically possible. 
But then. . . I got pregnant after all. And I promised myself that I 
would be the mother I never had. I would give this baby all the love I 
had never received, all the hugs and kisses my mother had not been able 
to give me. Before I became pregnant, I even thought that I knew why my 
mother had left me and my father. That I understood, and respected it, 
and that I would have done the same thing if I were in her situation. 
But now I know. . . that I could not have done it." She held back, 
afraid to continue. She could feel the repressed tensions, fears, angers 
and tears hidden deep inside her beginning to surface, and she couldn't 
allow that. She couldn't afford to let go, to let it all out. She 
couldn't lose control. Not even in front of John - she corrected 
herself: *especially* not in front of John. 

    She could tell that there was something more on his mind. Something 
else. He looked so troubled, as if he wasn't really sure whether or not 
he should tell her something. Finally, he decided to tell her after all. 
He took a deep breath. "Sometimes I've been wondering if. . . if this 
child was meant to be at all." What he said was so unexpected, Delenn 
was shocked at what he had said. How could he possibly say that their 
love child was not *meant* to be ? Preparing to demand an explanation, 
she opened her mouth to tell him her own opinion on the subject, he 
silenced her with a gentle finger on her lips. "Not like that. There is 
something I haven't told you - about Babylon 4." And he told her the 
whole story. About the Babylon 4 mission, when they had sent Babylon 5's 
predecessor into the past so that it could function as a military base 
1000 years in the past, preventing the Shadows from winning the first 
Shadow war. Sheridan's time stabilizer had been hit, and for a while he 
had been free in time, lost, without being able to control where or 
*when* he was going, not knowing if he would ever get back to his own 
time. He had suddenly found himself on Centauri Prime, being a prisoner 
some years into what was for him the future, captured by the Centauri 
Emperor - Londo. That was when he had met Delenn.

    "You were held prisoner by Londo as well, Delenn. I have no idea how 
he captured us, or when this was happening - will happen - but I got to 
know a bit about the two of us. I pretty much gathered that something 
was going to happen between us, when the first thing you did when you 
saw me was kissing me. Pretty passionately, too." Delenn raised her 
eyebrows. 

   "I kissed you ? But this was. . ."
   "Before you and I got that far, yes. At least as far as we knew. You 
know, this is a bit complicated. . . The first time we kissed, it wasn't 
really the first time for me since I had already kissed you in the 
future, and the first time I kissed you wasn't really the first time for 
you since you had already kissed me countless times in the past. . . but 
this isn't really important now. What matters, is that you told me that 
our son - David - was safe."

    "That was why you thought that the baby was a boy." It wasn't a 
question, as she was beginning to understand more of his actions and 
feelings since she had become pregnant. 

    "Yes. You didn't mention any other babies, but you made a big deal 
out of saying that our *son* was safe, so I assumed that we only had one 
child. If we'd had more, you would've talked about them as well." 

    "Then why do you think that Hope was never *meant* to be born ?"

    "Isn't it obvious ? We were going to have a boy. Hope was a girl. 
Maybe this - maybe this whole thing was set to happen from the very 
beginning. Maybe it's destiny. Faith."

    Delenn shook her head. "The truth is fluid. It changes every day. 
Every day we make a decision, we change the future - for better or for 
worse. We are the masters of our own future, even though we cannot 
control every aspect of it. I do not think that we can blame destiny or 
faith in this. Maybe there is no one to blame. Maybe we could not have 
prevented this. Hope had the right to live, just as much as the son you 
say that we will have - David. Maybe we will only have David in an 
alternate future. One of many possible futures." She didn't say the 
sentence which hung unspoken between them - 'his future, his very 
existence, might change because of decisions we make here, today'. 

    "You know, this is my fault," Sheridan said, wanting to change 
subjects. "I could've done more to protect you. I knew you weren't safe, 
that you *couldn't* be safe. Not while we were together. Not while you 
were carrying my child. I'm sorry, Delenn," he said as he rose up and 
turned his back towards her. "I never intended to hurt you. You're the 
last person in the world I'd want to hurt. Ever."

    Delenn didn't anwer. They were both silent for a long time, the 
quiet was thick with unspoken words, but neither of them dared to start 
revealing their feelings. Finally, Delenn said, with a smile on her face 
that was entirely without happiness - "I never knew that I would become 
this much human." 

    "What do you mean ?" He still didn't look at her. 

    "When you were gone, when you had followed Anna to Z'ha'dum, and 
everyone thought that you were dead - even I thought that you were. I 
was sure that I had lost you. As the days passed and I did not get any 
sign, nothing that could give me the tiniest of hopes. . . I tried to 
make myself grieve you like any Minbari who was lost someone beloved. 
And I think that I would have succeeded."

    He had turned around now, uncertain of where this was heading. She 
had hardly told him anything at all about the period in which he had 
been missing, it had obviously been a sensitive subject, so he hadn't 
pressed her. But now it was as if she was pouring her heart out. 
"Eventually, I think that I would have gotten over you. I prayed, I 
meditated, I cursed the universe, and then thanked it for allowing me to 
know you at all, even though our time together was limited, so short. It 
is tradition. Our Minbari traditions make it easier for us to deal with 
situations, because they are so deeply rooted in our society. We are 
thinking that when our ancestors found comfort in these traditions, then 
why should not we ?" She paused, not knowing how to continue. "We have. 
. . memories. Every Minbari has them, more or less. They are memories of 
things that happened a long time ago, rites, rituals, as I said -  ways 
to handle situations. Life. They are a part of our heritage, they are 
actually in our genes. Minbari children do not normally have to learn 
them, it is enough to remind them, and then they will remember. Even if 
they have not. . . been reminded. . .they are often able to find out 
what to do themselves if they are given enough time." She paused again, 
it was always hard when she had to explain someone non-Minbari about 
Minbari traditions and customs. John had no reason at all to know about 
this, while she all her life had thought about it as something 
self-evident. "When a Minbari is grieving or is in another severe 
personal crisis, such as when one has lost a child, a parent or a spouse 
- we go back to those memories. They are like a well, bringing comfort 
and calm. I cannot explain it any better." She looked at her blister, 
from earlier that day when she had burned herself with the candle. "Back 
then, when you were lost, the rituals and the meditation helped. They 
made me feel a little better, and eventually, I would have reconciled 
myself with the loss. I would have gotten on with my life because I 
*had* to. Too much depended on me. But now. . . when I lost Hope. . ." 
Her voice trailed off, and he met her big, green eyes. They were so full 
of emotions, for the first time in days she was allowing her feelings to 
show in those wonderfully expressive eyes. "Somehow, the rituals did not 
work. They did not make everything feel less unbearable. They did not 
make me able to - as you put it - "face the outside world". I could not 
handle grief any more. I think it is because I have become too much 
human. I do not know how I can possibly be able to get out again." 

    "Well, I guess humans handle grief in many ways. Everyone will 
sooner or later have to find the one that's best of them. Some of them 
don't work at all, I suppose."

    "What have you been doing ? When Anna died and. . .now ?"

    Sheridan sighed. "All the wrong ways. Working too much. Keeping my 
mind preoccupied with something else. Rage. Anger. Selfishness. You name 
it. About every single negative feeling I can think of." His sentences 
were short and amputated, his voice full of the same anger and the same 
negative, frustrated feelings he was talking about. 

    "Then what should you have been doing ?" Delenn's voice was hardly 
audible.

    "Cry, I guess. Cry in someone's arms." He paused, staring at a spot 
in front of him that wasn't there. He finally dared to look at her. She 
needed to hear the truth, she deserved it. "I should be crying in *your* 
arms, Delenn."

    Delenn shivered. "I did not think that you wanted me. That you 
needed me."

    "I've always needed you." His hand caressed her cheek. "Ever since I 
saw you for the first time. When you walked into the council chambers - 
I had never seen anyone like you before. And I don't mean just 
physically - it's your mind as well. It's who you *are*, Delenn. You're 
the most incredible person I've ever met."

    "Will you do something for me, John ?" She rose from the bench, 
facing him. 

    "Anything."

    "Teach me to grieve like a human." 

    Reaching out to her, he did.


**************************


    As the doors to the council chambers opened, and Sheridan and Delenn 
stepped in, it was as if everyone who was already there was exhaling, 
relieved, at the same time. Sheridan and Delenn came hand in hand, 
red-eyed and exhausted, but the mere fact that they came *together* was 
enough to make them hope. The couple probably needed a lot of time, a 
lot of effort and a lot of hard work if they were to make their marriage 
last. But at least they were together, and there was a shy light in 
Delenn's eyes which they hadn't seen in weeks. 

    It was a closed meeting for a few selected members of the Babylon 5 
inner circle. Ivanova, Franklin, Zack Allan, Marcus Cole,  John Sheridan 
and Delenn. In addition to those six regulars, another person had been 
invited - Nancy Sheridan. She didn't have anything to do with politics, 
but during the last couple of days Ivanova, along with several others, 
had come to realize how she could immediatly see the problem in a 
situation, and how it could be solved - as painlessly as possible. And 
besides, she was one of the persons who had been personally affected by 
the recent events. Her grandchild had been killed, and everyone felt 
that she belonged among them. 

    With the grace that was so typical for her, Delenn sat down next to 
her husband. Everyone noticed with secret joy that they were still 
holding hands, under the table. Then Delenn started talking. "We called 
for this meeting because we feel that it is not right that John and I 
alone should decide what is going to happen next. It cannot be only our 
decision. We would very much like to know what you think about this." 

    "The question now," Sheridan continued, "is whether or not we should 
put force behind our words. We signed a peace treaty, in good faith, 
hoping that both parties would respect it. We now know that President 
Clark didn't give one damn, he has broken just about every part of the 
deal. He even went as far as assaulting Delenn." His jaws tightened, he 
closed his eyes briefly. "And that's not all. Ranger reports from 
several Earth colonies say that military forces are taking over the 
colonies again, even Mars, by force where necessary. Hundreds have been 
killed already, including women and children."

    "We've just caught a Night Watch spy on the station too," Zack 
added. "We didn't even know the Night Watch still existed. God knows how 
many of them we haven't found yet."

"So, what do we do ?" Sheridan's words pretty much summoned up all the 
questions they had. 

    "It feels like we've had this conversation before," Ivanova 
murmured. 

    "What do you mean ?" Nancy Sheridan didn't understand, naturally, 
since she had only been on the station for less than a week.

    "We had more or less the same options to consider about two years 
ago, too, when we had to choose between staying in the Earth Alliance - 
or breaking out of it," Susan explained. "We chose to follow our 
conscience, not our orders."

    "We change our future every day. . ." Delenn murmured, but only John 
knew what she meant by that. 

    "It seems like you were right all along, John," Franklin said. "You 
knew that this peace treaty wouldn't work. I think we all knew it. But 
we tried anyway -"

    "I say fight." Ivanova's words weren't that loud, but her voice was 
so intense it cut Franklin off mid-sentence. An eerie ecco from the 
past, from a time when they had all perhaps been more naive. A lot had 
happened since then. For good and for bad. 

    "Fight." Franklin.

    "Fight." Zack.

    "Fight." Marcus.

    Delenn and Nancy didn't say anything, but they both nodded, looking 
at John Sheridan. With a deep breath, he finally said: "Fight." 

    

  

I'm not going to write about their attack of Earth. It has already been 
done so brilliantly by JMS, and I can't possibly match that. I'm not 
very good at writing about battles in space anyway, in fact I don't even 
know where to begin, or how.  So I'll leave the rest to your imagination 
- like Bill Watson, blessed "father" of Calvin and Hobbes put it - 
everything is always wilder there ! :-) Meg xox

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